2008 Predictions

[Rick]

Here they are folks. Predictions for 2008. I don't make 'em up, I just report 'em.

2008-MAR-21: After a lengthy calculation based on the Bible, a British group, The Lord's Witnesses, has concluded that the start of Armageddon will happen on this day. Three quarters of the world's population will die during the subsequent war. This will be preceded by the United Nations taking over complete control of the world in the lunar month preceding 2008-APR-24. This is exactly 666 Hebrew months after the founding of the United Nations in 1945.

2008-APR-6: Philip B. Brown incorrectly predicted that the Great Tribulation would start on 2001-APR-7, with the appearance of the the two witnesses described in Revelation. He also predicted that the start of Jesus' millennial reign would be on 2008-APR-6.

2008-May: A religious sect in Russia in waiting in a barricaded cave for what their leader calls the end of the world. 29 adults and 4 children have barricaded themselves inside a cave in Central Russia and have threatened to blow themselves up with a gas canister if anyone tries to remove them. (wouldn't their world end sooner if they blew themselves up? I never understand).

2008: Ronald Weinland believes that he "... has been sent by God as His end-time prophet." Weinland predicts the demise of the United States in the near future, followed by the start of "man's final war" in 2008. He has published a book titled: "2008: God's Final Witness." A free copy can be obtained at: http://the-end.com/

2008: Billy Hargie predicts the assassination of the next president of the U.S. by a southern activist. This will cause riots which will require the U.S. army to be recalled from Iraq. Iraq will then be overrun by Iran. A nuclear world war will start. The environment will rapidly degenerate. The Mayan prediction for 2012 will come true. 97% of all known species will become extinct. Scattered pockets of humans will survive by living off the land. He describes this as the "Dawn of the Eighth Day."

NOTE: I sort of like that one. It has a lot of drama. Plenty of action and a cool Mayan tie in. It's sort of like dropping all the predictions in a Cuisinart.

2008?: Linda Newkirk reported that she received a revelation from Yahweh on 2007-NOV-17. She writes that a comet, 17/P Holmes, "... is a sign of the [second] coming of the Son of Man" -- Yeshua of Nazareth or Jesus Christ. The comet was discovered by Edwin Homes in 1892 and follows an inclined elliptical orbit between the planets Mars and Jupiter. It experienced a massive increase in brightness during the night of 2007-OCT-23-24 when it went from about a magnitude 17 to about 2.8 in just 42 hours. Linda's prophecy appears to have been another false alarm, because the comet has since faded from sight with no appearance of Yeshua. The comet is expected to return in 2014.

2008: According to Exodus2006.com, this will be the year of a great earthquake and a pole shift. (I think their name sort of says it all).

[FVR]

I predict that I will; be paying more taxes, paying more for health care, health care benny's will decrease, and gas will get alot more expensive.

[crashdive123]

I predict that I will; be paying more taxes, paying more for health care, health care benny's will decrease, and gas will get alot more expensive.

Now that’s a prediction we can believe. You must be psychotic…I mean psychic.

[Catfish]

I'm actually kind of OK with the world ending on Mar 21. I'm scheduled to fly to Dallas for a meeting the week after and I'd really rather not.

[Proud American]

March 21, no the 28ths my birthday.

[Sam]

March 21, no the 28ths my birthday.

Proud, if the world ends the week of your birthday you can sleep in and skip school

[trax]

I feel so much better. Knowing that there is some great omnipotent, omniscient being that controls everything that happens in the Universe and was just about to destroy all life on our planet, and then slapped IT-self on the forehead and said Doh! Can't do it that week, it' Proud's birthday, what was I thinking?

Who's birthday is it the following week? Come on, step up people, you're saving the world here!

I predict that in coming years we will continue to be bombarded with even more retarded predictions, just as we have in past years. I believe Nostradamus warned us about these people.

[Beo]

I predict that I will; be paying more taxes, paying more for health care, health care benny's will decrease, and gas will get alot more expensive.

Amen brother, but to add to that I predict I'll be even broker, my son will tell you more about me he shouldn't if Rick gets ahold of him, and the price of Twinkies will go through the roof!!!

[Rick]

I predict at least one forum member will go insane listening to all the twinkie jokes and begin hunting down other members so he can melt candle wax on their foreheads then begin dismembering......uh......I predict this year will have 366 days.

[trax]

That was 8, from you...do you have 2000 more predictions?


{{{{please say no please say no please say no...}}}}

[Rick]

This is gonna take a while.

[trax]

This is gonna take a while.

Or you could just say no!! Or you could consult those wonderful newspapers they have at supermarket checkouts, that's where I go for my alien invasion updates and predictions for the future. Oh yeah, and to find out what Oprah's up to, I just can't make it through the week without getting an update on Oprah's weight and her love life.

[Rick]

What's she waiting for?

[trax]

Oh come on. You can do so much better than that. My scariest prediction...Rick's little jokes don't improve.

[bulrush]

I predict we will be sold more worthless tripe by the media.

[Rick]

I LOVE tripe. Baked with butter and garlic, it's the best!

[Tony uk]

2008, Mar, 24 - Chuck Noris will decide that life is meaning less and proceed to roundhose anything in sight that bleeds, He will then eat a whole wedding cake (Since everyone else is dead they cant tell him the stripper is still inside), Drink 800 kegs of beer and watch some TV

[Beo]

What's a "roundhose"? Man I shouldn't have asked its sounds like some nasty porno thing Chuck Norris got into. That or you meant roundhouse kick... hmmm Chuck Norris stars as Dirk Diggler the roundhose of the Texas Rangers

[Rick]

I started to and then I said, "No. Don't go there. Let it alone." It was just too easy.

[Tony uk]

What's a "roundhose"? Man I shouldn't have asked its sounds like some nasty porno thing Chuck Norris got into. That or you meant roundhouse kick... hmmm Chuck Norris stars as Dirk Diggler the roundhose of the Texas Rangers

A Roundhouse Kick, A funky ninja chuck noris move.