Bash Ken time!

He should be feeling better by now so....

It's been so cold the past few days, I'm seeing lawyers with their hands in their own pockets!

"... It's been so cold the past few days, I'm seeing lawyers with their hands in their own pockets! ..."

That can't be our Ken!!!!:clap:

How many lawyers does it take to change a light bulb?

Fifty four. Eight to argue, one to get a continuance, one to object, one to demur, two to research precedents, one to dictate a letter, one to stipulate, five to turn in their time cards, one to depose, one to write interrogatories, two to settle, one to order a secretary to change the bulb, and twenty-eight to bill for professional services.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Justin Case

How many lawyers does it take to change a light bulb?

Fifty four. Eight to argue, one to get a continuance, one to object, one to demur, two to research precedents, one to dictate a letter, one to stipulate, five to turn in their time cards, one to depose, one to write interrogatories, two to settle, one to order a secretary to change the bulb, and twenty-eight to bill for professional services.

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Yeah, but it only takes ONE to sue your @ss for defamation of character. Win or lose, you'll be broke in a month. :sneaky2:

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Ken

Yeah, but it only takes ONE to sue your @ss for defamation of character. Win or lose, you'll be broke in a month. :sneaky2:

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Haha,, I have been broke for a year now,, after being layed off and losing my house,, :tongue_smilie:

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Originally Posted by Justin Case

Haha,, I have been broke for a year now,, after being layed off and losing my house,, :tongue_smilie:

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Still own any shoes? :sneaky2:

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Originally Posted by Ken

Still own any shoes? :sneaky2:

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Yes, But I doubt you could fill them :tongue_smilie:

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Justin Case

Yes, But I doubt you could fill them :tongue_smilie:

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We'll soon find out, won't we? :sneaky2:

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Ken

We'll soon find out, won't we? :sneaky2:

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Here Take em , they hurt my feet anyway,, and they stink !!

http://www.txfannin.org/bigshoes.jpg

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Originally Posted by Justin Case

Here Take em , they hurt my feet anyway,, and they stink !!

http://www.txfannin.org/bigshoes.jpg

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What, no socks? :innocent:

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Originally Posted by Ken

What, no socks? :innocent:

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told you I was poor..:sneaky2:

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Justin Case

told you I was poor..:sneaky2:

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Well, I could use another computer. :innocent:

got a library card?

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Justin Case

got a library card?

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Liar. :sneaky2: But if that's all ya' got, I'LL TAKE IT! :innocent:

What’s wrong with lawyer jokes?


Wait,, I know,


Lawyers don’t think they’re funny, and nobody else thinks they’re jokes.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Justin Case

What’s wrong with lawyer jokes?


Wait,, I know,


Lawyers don’t think they’re funny, and nobody else thinks they’re jokes.

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First time I've ever heard that one! :clap:

what about this one,,


If you are stranded on a desert island with Adolph Hitler, Atilla the Hun, and a lawyer, and you have a gun with only two bullets, what do you do?

Shoot the lawyer twice.!:innocent:

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Justin Case

what about this one,,


If you are stranded on a desert island with Adolph Hitler, Atilla the Hun, and a lawyer, and you have a gun with only two bullets, what do you do?

Shoot the lawyer twice.!:innocent:

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*yawn* Heard it before. :sleeping:

What’s the difference between a dead dog in the road and a dead lawyer in the road?

There are skid marks in front of the dog.

I've been getting lawyer joke books as gifts for almost 30 years - a full book shelf's worth. I even have one in the bathroom in case I run out of TP. Wake me up when you have a new one.