Just make sure this one is caulked properly.You don't want it to spring a leak.(unlike the F.A.R.Ts)
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Just make sure this one is caulked properly.You don't want it to spring a leak.(unlike the F.A.R.Ts)
With all this new equipment, there's a possibility you'll need need extra manly men to run it. You really need to run a recuiting drive to increase F.A.R.Ts. The training will be tough, Bacon sammichs and napping doen't come easy to some folk. I propose you enlist apprentinces. A-F.A.R.T so to speak.
A.F.A.R.T.s have been an oft used and thunderingly successful program with us. We started off with the Recruit Individual People as Apprentices or as we called it R.I.P.A.F.A.R.T. and we have had a lot of success even though it was sometimes a strain on our resources. While we tried recruitment using bacon and spam the food was generally gone by the time we opened the door. I believe 2Dumb was one of those RIPAFART kinda guys. The mule might have been but I just don't remember. Crash once suggested we have a recruitment using coffee and Danish (the pastry not the people) but he made off with both before any of us had a chance to taste anything. We found him sitting on the fantail of the FART boat with sugar frosting on both lips and coffee stains down the front of his shirt. He was pointing downstream and trying to tell us through a mouthful of Danish (the pastry not the people) that a whale stole the lot of it. Of couse, we didn't believe him 'cause we know whales don't frequent the river. We figured it was probably a shark. He's just lucky to be alive I guess.
Crash - It wasn't 2Dumb. It was that goofy Mule of his. You know how he likes to play touch football.
Abdullah said he realized that he hadn't sent any pictures of the inside of our new F.A.R.T. boat. So here are some he just sent me.
https://photos.travelblog.org/Photos...ubmarine-0.jpg
http://www.srdw.co.uk/travel/2007ham...gp3298_752.jpg
http://www.worldsstrangest.com/wp-co...ertdfhttht.jpg
Seems a bit cramped to me but maybe it's bigger in real life.
Ahhhhhhh. Home sweet home.
home land security promises pat downs and criminal background checks. if you cant submit to the program, stay at home and dont travel to pakistan !
I told him you were familiar with maritime vehicles. He suggested that Captain Crash might not be perceived well in media releases.
Ummm...crash....I think you have me confused with someone else. I'm way too lazy to run up and down the halls. LOL
Rick...I think it will be OK to have crash as our captian. We'll just tell the media that his full name is A. Voida Crash.
...and as far as that dang ol' mule, well...Ken will just have to fend for himself.
There goes another post.............................................. ...........
Running the halls for us F.A.R.T.S. is much like running a restaurant - like running a cold - like running a bed and breakfast - like a running board.....you get the idea. We're not really running, but it helps to have people think we are on top of things...........which of course we are.
Attachment 6982
My control center............
Before the lost F.A.R.T. boat incident of course. We wouldn't want anyone thinking we have that kind of fire power around all the time. I'll talk to Abdullah and see if a quad 50 is an accessory for the new boat.
He never mentioned driving to Oz, but he sure knows how to make an entrance.
http://i1186.photobucket.com/albums/...errisplane.jpg
Seems navigation is not his forte
Abdullah was kind enough to give me a briefing on the bridge of our new boat. Yes! It arrived today. It's pretty spiffy and a whole lot bigger than the missing F.A.R.T. boat. The old one was just a fizzle compared to this guy. Abdullah said we can even get Sirius radio. I told him life was probably serious enough without listening to that kind of music, too. He just laughed and started talking to the boat. I thought he had gone plumb bonkers but turned out his cellular telephone can be coupled (or some such thing) to the boats stereo system and his phone has voice commands. The next thing I know we're talking to some muckity muck in Washington, D.C.!!! I swear he never touched a button. That phone did all the work!! And you could hear it over the stereo system!!!! Pretty spiffy, I'd say.
The boat is still on the semi trailer they pulled it down on so if'n anyone has a block and tackle they might want to bring it down to the marina this week-end and we'll see if we can get this bad boy in the water.
Here's a shot of Abdullah in the bridge of our new boat.
http://emeagwali.com/gifs/Space_Shuttle_1994.gif
Got the paper right hereQuote:
Originally Posted by crashdive123
Attachment 6985
Comes in Military Green to avoid detection in the woods - and it turns black after use....
Good man! No job is finished until the paper work is done. Do you have a block and tackle, too?
A block and tackle would be good. I remember when I had what should have been a brilliant idea of backing up real fast to the water and slamming on the brakes to get the boat off. Let's just say that you should remember to take the straps off the boat that hold it to the trailer. Let's also say that when you get going really fast on the slippery boat ramp that your brakes don't really do much good. I still miss that truck.
Yeah, quick stops can be a bear.
http://info.autoworksmn.com/Portals/...esized-600.jpg
Does the new boat come with those hong hangers?
http://2pep.com/funny%20pics/laughin...563048c0b3.jpg
You probably won't believe this but I got a phone call about 1:00 today and the fellah on the phone said he had just delivered our new boat to the marina. I was pretty confused since our boat was hauled in yesterday. So I hurried up and finished my nap and buzzed right down there and lo and behold them Homeland Security folks sent us a second boat. I wasn't able to get ahold of Abdullah right away it bein' Sunday and all. It looks like we'll need a second block and tackle. Or maybe one really big one and we can lift 'em both at the same time. The trucker fellah said we should paint "His" on one and "His" on the other since we had a matched pair. We could have His and His F.A.R.T. boats. Personally, I think having two is a really good idea. You never know who might forget to tie one up and it disappear like the first one did.
Redundancy is probably a good idea.
Redundancy is probably a good idea.
We should probably tie them together to keep from losing them this time.Quote:
Originally Posted by Rick
That right there is a grand idea. It would also double the size of our poop deck and we all know we can use the extra size in that area.
Abdullah called back late this afternoon and I told him there must have been some mistake since we received two boats. He checked his papers and nope, as it turns out that wasn't a mistake at all. He said Homeland Security has lots of money and they didn't mind spending it where it will do the most good. He wanted to know if I had ever heard of a terrorist. Well of course, I told him. He said in that case we were probably in danger and needed the extra precautions. That big all metal truck is on it's way back and Abdullah said they had a few other things they could send us.
Do you all reckon if we lost that old 12 gauge over the fireplace that ATF would be that kind? I'll bet they have access to all kinds of weapons. Where's Pal? Let's put him in charge of the 12 gauge and see how things turn out.
I think pal already has the 12 gauge. (He said something about guarding the bread, milk and eggs.)Quote:
Originally Posted by Rick
Well, that's good then. I may call ATF tomorrow 'cause it's a synch if Pal has it the dang thing is lost.
Oh ya,, pick on a guy for one little itty bitty over sight. I have had my eyes checked, and hearing checked. Not that it will do any good with all the fancy gadgets and such on those things. And by the way, the bread, milk and eggs are very secure, thank you very much. I will lend out a few of my shotgun shells, if I get a good seat on the poop deck
We just need to know if you remember where the shotgun is.
They dropped the all metal truck off down by the marina today. It ain't the same one that they tried to give us before. This one is a lot bigger and more....well....more somthin'.
http://img.thesun.co.uk/multimedia/a...82_633908a.jpg
Send it back! It's broken! One whole set of wheels isn't touching the ground.
I'd feel bad sending it back after we sent the first metal truck back. Abdullah called it a buffalo. Now I know he's a city feller and all but they must have zoos and such in Washington. They seem to know what a donkey and an elephant look like so you'd think they would know this thing is NOT a buffalo. Although it is clearly some kind of animal.
And since that feller surely knows what a donkey and an elephant are, wouldn't you think he is also familiar with the "waste product" they generate? And I think it is clear that this here "buffalo" is not generating a similar waste
Unless everyone objects I suggest we keep the new metal truck. We can get 2Dumb or the mule to weld a hitch on the back for the yard wagon and use it when we clean up around the marina.
In other news, we managed to get both boats in the water without too much trouble. Unfortunately, they are pointed in the wrong direction. We'll need everyone at the marina next week-end to help us lift em back up and turn 'em around. They need to be pointed the other way to fit into the dock.
You'll have to come pick me up in one of the Boats Rick, if you need me to help get them turned around. But I may only be able to help in a managerial capacity, as I don't want to hurt my back again. But rest assured! I will point and encourage from the Dock.
While we seldom have a shortage of managers your assistance will be welcomed. We are a bit metric challenged so if you shout out a distance or weight in metric do be surprised if everything comes to a stop and everyone stares at you. It's really hard for us to work and cypher at the same time.
What you guys need is someone who won't be asleep on the job...i mean, taking a nap while y'all do.
Just like a fine tuned military operation, we nap in shifts.
I'm sure glad you said that correctly.
Yeah - didn't want it to look like *****.:innocent:
Not to worry, I'm multilingual. I can point and shout in old money too. I would also like to assure the F.A.R.Ts napping is the same in metric as imperial.Quote:
Originally Posted by Rick
Madam, we may be the colonies but we are a republic not imperial. Thank you very much.