Homeland Security Funding Recieved

[Winnie]

Just make sure this one is caulked properly.You don't want it to spring a leak.(unlike the F.A.R.Ts)

[Winnie]

With all this new equipment, there's a possibility you'll need need extra manly men to run it. You really need to run a recuiting drive to increase F.A.R.Ts. The training will be tough, Bacon sammichs and napping doen't come easy to some folk. I propose you enlist apprentinces. A-F.A.R.T so to speak.

[Rick]

A.F.A.R.T.s have been an oft used and thunderingly successful program with us. We started off with the Recruit Individual People as Apprentices or as we called it R.I.P.A.F.A.R.T. and we have had a lot of success even though it was sometimes a strain on our resources. While we tried recruitment using bacon and spam the food was generally gone by the time we opened the door. I believe 2Dumb was one of those RIPAFART kinda guys. The mule might have been but I just don't remember. Crash once suggested we have a recruitment using coffee and Danish (the pastry not the people) but he made off with both before any of us had a chance to taste anything. We found him sitting on the fantail of the FART boat with sugar frosting on both lips and coffee stains down the front of his shirt. He was pointing downstream and trying to tell us through a mouthful of Danish (the pastry not the people) that a whale stole the lot of it. Of couse, we didn't believe him 'cause we know whales don't frequent the river. We figured it was probably a shark. He's just lucky to be alive I guess.

Crash - It wasn't 2Dumb. It was that goofy Mule of his. You know how he likes to play touch football.

[Rick]

Abdullah said he realized that he hadn't sent any pictures of the inside of our new F.A.R.T. boat. So here are some he just sent me.

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Seems a bit cramped to me but maybe it's bigger in real life.

[crashdive123]

Ahhhhhhh. Home sweet home.

[erunkiswldrnssurvival]

home land security promises pat downs and criminal background checks. if you cant submit to the program, stay at home and dont travel to pakistan !

[Rick]

I told him you were familiar with maritime vehicles. He suggested that Captain Crash might not be perceived well in media releases.

[2dumb2kwit]

Ummm...crash....I think you have me confused with someone else. I'm way too lazy to run up and down the halls. LOL

Rick...I think it will be OK to have crash as our captian. We'll just tell the media that his full name is A. Voida Crash.

...and as far as that dang ol' mule, well...Ken will just have to fend for himself.

[Rick]

There goes another post.............................................. ...........

[crashdive123]

Running the halls for us F.A.R.T.S. is much like running a restaurant - like running a cold - like running a bed and breakfast - like a running board.....you get the idea. We're not really running, but it helps to have people think we are on top of things...........which of course we are.

[bobzilla]

mans_computer_room[1].jpg

My control center............

[Rick]

Before the lost F.A.R.T. boat incident of course. We wouldn't want anyone thinking we have that kind of fire power around all the time. I'll talk to Abdullah and see if a quad 50 is an accessory for the new boat.

[Winnie]

He never mentioned driving to Oz, but he sure knows how to make an entrance.


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Seems navigation is not his forte

[Rick]

Abdullah was kind enough to give me a briefing on the bridge of our new boat. Yes! It arrived today. It's pretty spiffy and a whole lot bigger than the missing F.A.R.T. boat. The old one was just a fizzle compared to this guy. Abdullah said we can even get Sirius radio. I told him life was probably serious enough without listening to that kind of music, too. He just laughed and started talking to the boat. I thought he had gone plumb bonkers but turned out his cellular telephone can be coupled (or some such thing) to the boats stereo system and his phone has voice commands. The next thing I know we're talking to some muckity muck in Washington, D.C.!!! I swear he never touched a button. That phone did all the work!! And you could hear it over the stereo system!!!! Pretty spiffy, I'd say.

The boat is still on the semi trailer they pulled it down on so if'n anyone has a block and tackle they might want to bring it down to the marina this week-end and we'll see if we can get this bad boy in the water.

Here's a shot of Abdullah in the bridge of our new boat.

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[Wise Old Owl]

OK - that solves the pencil problem. What about paper? Anybody seen the paper?

Got the paper right here

1_1.jpg

Comes in Military Green to avoid detection in the woods - and it turns black after use....

[Rick]

Good man! No job is finished until the paper work is done. Do you have a block and tackle, too?

[crashdive123]

A block and tackle would be good. I remember when I had what should have been a brilliant idea of backing up real fast to the water and slamming on the brakes to get the boat off. Let's just say that you should remember to take the straps off the boat that hold it to the trailer. Let's also say that when you get going really fast on the slippery boat ramp that your brakes don't really do much good. I still miss that truck.

[Rick]

Yeah, quick stops can be a bear.

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[crashdive123]

Does the new boat come with those hong hangers?

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[Rick]

You probably won't believe this but I got a phone call about 1:00 today and the fellah on the phone said he had just delivered our new boat to the marina. I was pretty confused since our boat was hauled in yesterday. So I hurried up and finished my nap and buzzed right down there and lo and behold them Homeland Security folks sent us a second boat. I wasn't able to get ahold of Abdullah right away it bein' Sunday and all. It looks like we'll need a second block and tackle. Or maybe one really big one and we can lift 'em both at the same time. The trucker fellah said we should paint "His" on one and "His" on the other since we had a matched pair. We could have His and His F.A.R.T. boats. Personally, I think having two is a really good idea. You never know who might forget to tie one up and it disappear like the first one did.