He should be feeling better by now so....
It's been so cold the past few days, I'm seeing lawyers with their hands in their own pockets!
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He should be feeling better by now so....
It's been so cold the past few days, I'm seeing lawyers with their hands in their own pockets!
"... It's been so cold the past few days, I'm seeing lawyers with their hands in their own pockets! ..."
That can't be our Ken!!!!:clap:
How many lawyers does it take to change a light bulb?
Fifty four. Eight to argue, one to get a continuance, one to object, one to demur, two to research precedents, one to dictate a letter, one to stipulate, five to turn in their time cards, one to depose, one to write interrogatories, two to settle, one to order a secretary to change the bulb, and twenty-eight to bill for professional services.
Yeah, but it only takes ONE to sue your @ss for defamation of character. Win or lose, you'll be broke in a month. :sneaky2:Quote:
Originally Posted by Justin Case
Haha,, I have been broke for a year now,, after being layed off and losing my house,, :tongue_smilie:Quote:
Originally Posted by Ken
Still own any shoes? :sneaky2:Quote:
Originally Posted by Justin Case
Yes, But I doubt you could fill them :tongue_smilie:Quote:
Originally Posted by Ken
We'll soon find out, won't we? :sneaky2:Quote:
Originally Posted by Justin Case
Here Take em , they hurt my feet anyway,, and they stink !!Quote:
Originally Posted by Ken
http://www.txfannin.org/bigshoes.jpg
What, no socks? :innocent:Quote:
Originally Posted by Justin Case
told you I was poor..:sneaky2:Quote:
Originally Posted by Ken
Well, I could use another computer. :innocent:Quote:
Originally Posted by Justin Case
got a library card?
Liar. :sneaky2: But if that's all ya' got, I'LL TAKE IT! :innocent:Quote:
Originally Posted by Justin Case
What’s wrong with lawyer jokes?
Wait,, I know,
Lawyers don’t think they’re funny, and nobody else thinks they’re jokes.
First time I've ever heard that one! :clap:Quote:
Originally Posted by Justin Case
what about this one,,
If you are stranded on a desert island with Adolph Hitler, Atilla the Hun, and a lawyer, and you have a gun with only two bullets, what do you do?
Shoot the lawyer twice.!:innocent:
*yawn* Heard it before. :sleeping:Quote:
Originally Posted by Justin Case
What’s the difference between a dead dog in the road and a dead lawyer in the road?
There are skid marks in front of the dog.
I've been getting lawyer joke books as gifts for almost 30 years - a full book shelf's worth. I even have one in the bathroom in case I run out of TP. Wake me up when you have a new one.
What’s the difference between a lawyer and a trampoline?Quote:
Originally Posted by Ken
You take off your shoes before you jump on a trampoline.
Hey Ken...what happened to you, earlier? You logged on, then disappeared.
I was afraid you had fallen off your shoes, again.:innocent:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xQZrC3ljtuM
Close guess, 2dumb. I tripped over that big pile of fan mail you sent me last week. :sneaky2:Quote:
Originally Posted by 2dumb2kwit
Are you sure it's from me?Quote:
Originally Posted by Ken
If it's what I sent you, you should be able to hear it ticking.:innocent:
Q. How many lawyers does it take, to outwit 2dumb?
A. We don't know. It hasn't happened, yet.:innocent:
That's because we send our goldfish to to the job. They are more than capable.Quote:
Originally Posted by 2dumb2kwit
It damn well better be a Rolex this time, 2dumb. I'm getting tired of looking at all those Movados you sent me last month. :sneaky2:Quote:
Originally Posted by 2dumb2kwit
So, who's goldfish are you???:blushing:Quote:
Originally Posted by Ken
Read this, 2dumb.Quote:
Originally Posted by 2dumb2kwit
http://ecx.images-amazon.com/images/...500_AA240_.jpg
Movados.....aren't they what you make guacamole dip out of???:innocent:Quote:
Originally Posted by Ken
Moron. :sneaky2:Quote:
Originally Posted by 2dumb2kwit
Hey 2dumb, you think Crash fell asleep? All these posts and not a single move to the other thread. :innocent:
I have a hard enough time with English, now you want me to read another language?:blushing:Quote:
Originally Posted by Ken
Sheez....I hope he's OK.:innocent:Quote:
Originally Posted by Ken
Isn't a Movados a fancy chmancy drink?Quote:
Originally Posted by 2dumb2kwit
A certain lawyer was quite wealthy and had a summer house in the country, to which he retreated for several weeks of the year. Each summer, the lawyer would invite a different friend of his to spend a week or two up at this place, which happened to be in a backwoods section of Maine.
On one particular occasion, he invited a Czechoslovakian friend to stay with him. The friend, eager to get a freebie off a lawyer, agreed. Well, they had a splendid time in the country, rising early and living in the great outdoors.
Early one morning, the lawyer and his Czechoslovakian companion went out to pick berries for their morning breakfast. As they went around the berry patch, gathering blueberries and raspberries in tremendous quantities, along came two huge bears, a male and a female. The lawyer, seeing the two bears, immediately dashed for cover. His friend, though, wasn't so lucky, and the male bear reached him and swallowed him whole.
The lawyer ran back to his Mercedes, tore into town as fast has he could, and got the local backwoods sheriff. The sheriff grabbed his shotgun and dashed back to the berry patch with the lawyer. Sure enough, the two bears were still there.
"He's in 'that one!" cried the lawyer, pointing to the male, while visions of lawsuits from his friend's family danced in his head.
He just had to save his friend. The sheriff looked at the bears, and without batting an eye, leveled his gun, took careful aim, and shot the female.
"Whatdya do that for!" exclaimed the lawyer, "I said he was in the other!"
"Exactly," replied the sheriff, "and would you believe a lawyer who told you that the Czech was in the male?"
Maybe he's working on his first aid skills.:innocent:Quote:
Originally Posted by Ken
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mU3ku32uXFw
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