Networking

**RBB** · 03-25-2009, 06:34 AM

Networking is a good survival skill. It's not one that I'm particularly good at. My wife isn't very good at it either, but the last few days she's been watching a pro in action.

The last few months we've gone to visit a yong man in prison. If you've ever visited anyone in this situation, you know how aggravating this can be. It seems like the prison personnel treat you as guilty by association.

i won't go into how we know this young man, or anything about his story. That's not what this is about.

Last Friday, wing (my wife) had decided to take a trip to visit this young man. I was working and could not accompany her. She knew of a woman who was taking the trip as well. Though the woman was staying longer than Wing had anticipated staying, Wing decided to go with her as they could share the driving and travel expense.

Now, a little about Wing. She has a million dollar smile. She is extremely good looking She has that indefinable attribute known as "class." And, of course, I always wonder what she ever saw in me. One thing about Wing though, she is a very private person. If she has the choice between meeting someone she doesn't know and being by herself - she's going to be by herself. She'd brought some books, and expected to spend the time not taken with visitation - sitting in her room - catching up on her reading. That was before she got to know Molly.

Molly, she soon learned, is a talker. Everywhere they went, Molly talked non stop to everyone they met. And she remembered everything anyone said. When they got to the prison, all the guards remembered her. It was, "Molly, how've you been?" and "We've missed you." The warden came out to meet her, and she gave him a hug!

If you've ever been to a prison, you'll know this is not normal.

In the visitation area, Molly obeyed none of the rules. She talked with the guard (the grumpy one) all about his family, children and grandchildren, for 20 minutes, asking after each one by name. - information she'd apparently picked up on previous visits. She went from table to table, talking to other prisoners and their families - in spite of large posters on the wall prohibiting talking to anyone but the person you've come to visit. No one reproached her.

The same thing occurred when Molly and Wing went to restaurants and to their motel. At the restaurants, the cook would come out, the owner would show up. She seemed to know them all. At one place, they were allowed to leave a tip - only under protest - the meal was on the house. By the time they'd left some of the restaurants - Molly had made the rounds of every table and had a whole new list of friends.

As they entered the motel, the clerk came out from behind the counter and gave her a hug. They talked for ten minutes, and Molly asked if they still had her down for a special rate. The clerk said, "Of course." Wing, who likes to be careful with her money, asked if the rate was as good as a government rate or a AAA rate. The clerk said, "You won't get a better rate." It was $65 a night for a beautiful three room suite!

When they got up in the morning, Molly called down and said, "We overslept, can you hold breakfast for us?" The breakfast was supposed to be over at 9:00 AM, but they held it until 10:00 for Molly. When they got down, Molly introduced Wing to the cook and told Wing the cook's life story - making her sound like the heroine of her own novel. Wing said it was incredible. Molly made everyone she met feel like it was an honor to just be around her and do things for her.

On the last day at the motel, Molly called down to the desk and said, "We're going to be checking out late - I just thought you should know." Checkout was 11:00 AM. They checked out at 1:00 PM with no extra charge.

What is the point of all this? I'm not real sure, except this woman can get people to do what they normally would not do. She appears to do it with a combination of charm and brass that is almost beyond belief. She has a genuine interest in people, and an incredible memory that allows her to bring up minute details about people she's only met once before.

If TSHTF in Molly's world, I have no doubt her networking skills would carry her right on through. It's not anything I could emulate, but it is an extremely interesting skill.

Oh, and Wing was totally worn out and never got to crack a book during her trip.

**Alpine_Sapper** · 03-25-2009, 08:46 AM

Originally Posted by RBB

Networking is a good survival skill. It's not one that I'm particularly good at. My wife isn't very good at it either, but the last few days she's been watching a pro in action.

The last few months we've gone to visit a yong man in prison. If you've ever visited anyone in this situation, you know how aggravating this can be. It seems like the prison personnel treat you as guilty by association.

i won't go into how we know this young man, or anything about his story. That's not what this is about.

Last Friday, wing (my wife) had decided to take a trip to visit this young man. I was working and could not accompany her. She knew of a woman who was taking the trip as well. Though the woman was staying longer than Wing had anticipated staying, Wing decided to go with her as they could share the driving and travel expense.

Now, a little about Wing. She has a million dollar smile. She is extremely good looking She has that indefinable attribute known as "class." And, of course, I always wonder what she ever saw in me. One thing about Wing though, she is a very private person. If she has the choice between meeting someone she doesn't know and being by herself - she's going to be by herself. She'd brought some books, and expected to spend the time not taken with visitation - sitting in her room - catching up on her reading. That was before she got to know Molly.

Molly, she soon learned, is a talker. Everywhere they went, Molly talked non stop to everyone they met. And she remembered everything anyone said. When they got to the prison, all the guards remembered her. It was, "Molly, how've you been?" and "We've missed you." The warden came out to meet her, and she gave him a hug!

If you've ever been to a prison, you'll know this is not normal.

In the visitation area, Molly obeyed none of the rules. She talked with the guard (the grumpy one) all about his family, children and grandchildren, for 20 minutes, asking after each one by name. - information she'd apparently picked up on previous visits. She went from table to table, talking to other prisoners and their families - in spite of large posters on the wall prohibiting talking to anyone but the person you've come to visit. No one reproached her.

The same thing occurred when Molly and Wing went to restaurants and to their motel. At the restaurants, the cook would come out, the owner would show up. She seemed to know them all. At one place, they were allowed to leave a tip - only under protest - the meal was on the house. By the time they'd left some of the restaurants - Molly had made the rounds of every table and had a whole new list of friends.

As they entered the motel, the clerk came out from behind the counter and gave her a hug. They talked for ten minutes, and Molly asked if they still had her down for a special rate. The clerk said, "Of course." Wing, who likes to be careful with her money, asked if the rate was as good as a government rate or a AAA rate. The clerk said, "You won't get a better rate." It was $65 a night for a beautiful three room suite!

When they got up in the morning, Molly called down and said, "We overslept, can you hold breakfast for us?" The breakfast was supposed to be over at 9:00 AM, but they held it until 10:00 for Molly. When they got down, Molly introduced Wing to the cook and told Wing the cook's life story - making her sound like the heroine of her own novel. Wing said it was incredible. Molly made everyone she met feel like it was an honor to just be around her and do things for her.

On the last day at the motel, Molly called down to the desk and said, "We're going to be checking out late - I just thought you should know." Checkout was 11:00 AM. They checked out at 1:00 PM with no extra charge.

What is the point of all this? I'm not real sure, except this woman can get people to do what they normally would not do. She appears to do it with a combination of charm and brass that is almost beyond belief. She has a genuine interest in people, and an incredible memory that allows her to bring up minute details about people she's only met once before.

If TSHTF in Molly's world, I have no doubt her networking skills would carry her right on through. It's not anything I could emulate, but it is an extremely interesting skill.

Oh, and Wing was totally worn out and never got to crack a book during her trip.

Awesome. It's amazing what someone can do with a little charisma and nothing else. Hell, just look at the media. If charisma is all you have going for you it can still get you elected president of the USA. But charisma like you describe isn't really a skill you can develop. You can to a point, but you'll never be as effective as someone with an innate ability like Molly.

**bulrush** · 03-25-2009, 12:30 PM

Molly is friendly, and people like to be around friendly people. The other key thing is, Molly has a good memory for details. And that makes her friends/acquaintences feel special.

**Rick** · 03-25-2009, 01:23 PM

It's actually a great story, RBB. Thanks for sharing it.

The two things that Molly has is the ability to stroke people's egos and the DESIRE to LISTEN TO OTHERS.

Everyone likes to be greeted by name. Everyone likes it when someone treats them with respect and a warm smile. Everyone likes it when someone asks about their life and stops long enough to genuinely listen to the answer. When we take the time to really listen it's amazing how much we remember.

Most folks are too busy thinking about what they are going to say in response to listen to what the other person is saying.

Good abject lesson, RBB. Thanks.

**trax** · 03-25-2009, 02:48 PM

Originally Posted by Rick

It's actually a great story, RBB. Thanks for sharing it.

The two things that Molly has is the ability to stroke people's egos and the DESIRE to LISTEN TO OTHERS.

Everyone likes to be greeted by name. Everyone likes it when someone treats them with respect and a warm smile. Everyone likes it when someone asks about their life and stops long enough to genuinely listen to the answer. When we take the time to really listen it's amazing how much we remember.

Most folks are too busy thinking about what they are going to say in response to listen to what the other person is saying.

Good abject lesson, RBB. Thanks.

Yeah? Bet you'd like it too, wouldn't ya smart boy? Well not during pick on Rick week we don't! Nice try though.

**RBB** · 03-25-2009, 04:08 PM

Originally Posted by Rick

It's actually a great story, RBB. Thanks for sharing it.

The two things that Molly has is the ability to stroke people's egos and the DESIRE to LISTEN TO OTHERS.

Everyone likes to be greeted by name. Everyone likes it when someone treats them with respect and a warm smile. Everyone likes it when someone asks about their life and stops long enough to genuinely listen to the answer. When we take the time to really listen it's amazing how much we remember.

Most folks are too busy thinking about what they are going to say in response to listen to what the other person is saying.

Good abject lesson, RBB. Thanks.

I'm afraid I'm particularly poor at this. At this point in time - my memory for names and faces is particularly poor. I believe this is some kind of a psychological defense mechanism. After more than a quarter century in law enforcement, there is a lot I don't care to remember.

This is particularly annoying when people come up to me and make a comment about some contact I've had with them in the past. For them it was a big deal. For me - can't even remember it.

**Rick** · 03-25-2009, 05:14 PM

It really is hard for most folks to just stop and listen to what the other person is saying. Either we're trained to, or it's just natural, to formulate our answer while they are talking. While my time on this forum won't support it, I try to keep my mouth shut when talking with others only to concentrate on what they are saying. Aristotle once said a man has two ears and one tongue that he might listen twice as much as he speaks. I think that's good advice.

I also fell pray, early on at least, to the same complaint..."I'm terrible at remembering names." Then it dawned on me one day that part of the reason I was so bad was that I told me self I was and I failed to remember names to prove to myself I was right. Once I stopped telling myself how bad I was at names I found it was easier and easier to remember them.

As for remembering...I once had an older colleague tell me that his doctor had him on pills to help him remember things. But he had decided he was only going to take a half of a pill because there were a lot of things in his life he just didn't want to remember. Your comment reminded me of that.

**SARKY** · 03-25-2009, 06:05 PM

I would really like to this group do a lot more networking...ie. a nationwide survival school. We each have different talents and specialities when it comes to survival. Many people want to learn but don't want to travel far. This would allow them to learn some skills in their neck of the woods and if they want to learn skills from another part of the country/enviroment we could reccomend someone who teaches in that enviroment. It would also be easy enough to standardize some portions of the training course to make it all gel and look professional.
Just a thought

**Smok** · 03-26-2009, 02:50 AM

Rick I think you are right with why people like Molly ( and if when you first meet someone say their name 3 time and that will help) . Sarky great idea . I am in Redding we should go fishing and talk.. I back on here and now I see that there are others on here as well , from out here in Calif. ..