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Thread: Alaskan Redneck Joke

  1. #1

    Default Alaskan Redneck Joke

    Before i post this i hope it doesnt offend any Alaskan members on here but i thought it was funny.

    i endure many jokes about WVians and it was nice to see someone else catchin heck for a bit on their location.



    Sam had been in business for 25 years and is finally sick of the
    stress.

    He quits his job and buys 50 acres in Alaska as far from humanity as possible.

    He sees the postman once a week and gets groceries once a month. Otherwise it's total peace and quiet.

    After six months or so of almost total isolation, someone knocks on his door. He opens it and there is a big, bearded man standing there.

    "Name's Ned....Your neighbor from 40 miles away.... Having a party Friday.... Thought you might like to come. About 5..."

    "Great" says Sam, "after six months out here I'm ready to meet some local folks. Thank you."

    As Ned is leaving, he stops "Gotta warn you... There's gonna be some drinkin."

    "Not a problem.... after 25 years in business, I can drink with the best of em."

    Again, as he starts to leave, Ned stops. "More'n likely gonna be some fightin' too."

    Sam says, "Well, I get along with people. I'll be there. Thanks
    again."

    Once again Ned turns from the door. "I've seen some wild sex at these parties, too."

    "Now that's really not a problem," says Sam. "I've been all alone for six months! I'll definitely be there. By the way, what should I bring?"

    Ned stops in the door again and says, "Whatever you want, just gonna be the two of us."



    I'm sweet as sugar but tough as nails.


  2. #2
    Super Moderator crashdive123's Avatar
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    Thanks for my morning giggle.
    Can't Means Won't

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    missing in action trax's Avatar
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    --but...no dancing??
    some fella confronted me the other day and asked "What's your problem?" So I told him, "I don't have a problem I am a problem"

  4. #4
    Neo-Numptie DOGMAN's Avatar
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    Trappin Gal- I don't think you have to worry about offending any Alaskans with your joke. It is a well known fact that ALL Alaskans go either way. They will probably say something like "Where's the punchline...this isnt a joke- its just life"
    The way of the canoe is the way of the wilderness and of a freedom almost forgotten- Sigurd Olson

    Give me winter, give me dogs... you can keep the rest- Knud Rasmussen

  5. #5
    Super Moderater RangerXanatos's Avatar
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    I'm glad I'm not in Alaska. Down here we atleast get dinner first!
    What's so crazy about standing toe-to-toe saying I am?
    ~Rocky Balboa

  6. #6

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    ha that is so funny. gay sex
    i am the one who stole the frigg'n cookie from the cookie jar. Now shutup!

  7. #7
    Administrator Rick's Avatar
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    Nothing wrong with happy people having a good time.
    Tracks Across the High Plains...Death on the Bombay Line...A Touch of Death and Mayhem...Dead Rock...The Griswald Mine Boys...All On Amazon Books.

  8. #8
    Super-duper Moderator Sarge47's Avatar
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    Talking Hmmm...

    I laughed a lot harder when I read that joke on this forum over a year ago; sorry Trappin' Gal, someone beat you to it! Okay guys, let's hear it, which is funnier, Trapping Gal's "Vise" story, Old WV coots eyesight regarding W. V. women; (those were Gay, male Hippies dude.)or the guy who got intimate with the Horny Toad..or whatever kind of lizard it was. (Honest, I thought it was giving birth!) Let's see those votes, somebody keep score!
    Last edited by Sarge47; 07-14-2008 at 10:50 PM. Reason: oops.
    SARGE
    "Two things are infinite: the universe and human stupidity; and I'm not sure about the the universe."
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  9. #9
    Coming through klkak's Avatar
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    Rural happiness. Glad I don't live any where near "Ned"!
    1. If it's in your kit and you don't know how to use it....It's useless.
    2. If you can't reach your kit when you need it....Its useless.

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    Tell them Kevin sent you!!

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