Some thought on decency from a friend of mine.

**canid** · 02-20-2016, 03:06 AM

https://nickthemick.wordpress.com/20...olite-society/

The arrogance apparent in the writing is what it appears; genuine. The self-deprecation likewise. The commitment to be what is needed at the time to whomever needs it is the reason we will always be friends. For better or worse, the politics of assistance have a way of taking a back seat to need when a problem needs a solution and I can not say that this is the wrong perspective.

**canid** · 02-20-2016, 03:11 AM

And of course, move this into the political circus if that is warranted.

**LowKey** · 02-20-2016, 07:44 AM

Your friend doesn't sound arrogant. He's a medic. He does what he does and is who he is and has had to make decisions most other humans don't have to make.
I wish there was some way for him not to see the monster in the mirror though. He sounds like a good man.

**kyratshooter** · 02-20-2016, 11:49 AM

Seems like exposure of a very private physiological problem and the attempt to shift blame for one's own guilt to a collective community.

Perhaps I am just a little older and have dealt with a few more problems but I know, like the list of things the medic is taught, there are things I can not fix and people I can not save.

And the fellow I see in the mirror is a guy that worked hard to do both the right thing and what he had to so to survive. Sometimes there was triage involved with that too.

I will continue to make a differentiation between the neighbor whose house just burned down and the guy I see panhandling on the same off ramp at the same time each day for years.

**BENESSE** · 02-20-2016, 05:00 PM

I don't see the analogy between him on the battlefield trying to save his friends (doing whatever it takes for all of them unconditionally) and say, any one of us making decisions who to help--a family member, a friend in need, a neighbor or a homeless person on the street. There's a difference.

We can't help everyone so we have to make decisions based on a lot of different things...ultimately it comes down to what is likely to produce the biggest and the most lasting benefit for the recipient.

**WolfVanZandt** · 02-20-2016, 05:27 PM

I'm pretty sure many of you are in very similar situations. The bullets aren't lead but they're there anyway - if you've decided to help others get their lives going instead of always concentrating on your own. Typically people don't know how to be grateful anymore, but the better peoples' lives are in general, the better life will be for everyone. Heros don't get ahead almost by definition, they live their lives for others.

Actually, you have to differentiate between each case (that's the triage part). Everyone's situation is different. And although there are panhandlers that will always be panhandlers - it's become their lives - that situation is surprisingly rare. Most homeless people (at least those in Alabama, and Kentucky, and Georgia, and Colorado who I've been able to get to know) don't want to be homeless and it galls them to ask for handouts.

Before I moved to Denver (2013), some friends had already made me aware of a homeless man (since 2011) with Addison's disease. With that disorder, winter is deadly and shelter becomes much more vitally important. My first direct interaction with him was to transport him from the hospital he was in because of his last seizure to a shelter about 50 miles away. While he was there I started working on resources for him and there were a couple of other people working with him including his Catholic pastor. My impression was that his case was a frustration since people just couldn't connect him with the services he needed. He was seizing 3 or four times a week and, if you've ever heard of trigeminal neuralgia (it's called the "suicide nerve") you might understand the urgency of his condition. Now he has an apartment and is working on completing his certification for a veterinary license. When that's done, he has a job waiting for him. Last I heard, it was 4 months since his last seizure and his doctors had found a way to stop a trigeminal attack before it even got started.

I won't go into the personal details of his case but I will say that he was an immigrant who's life fell apart after he moved to the US. I benefitted in that, while standing in line with him at the shelter, I got to talk to a lot of homeless people. They had all the tricks down. Colorado is fairly easily navigable for the homeless landscape and if you know what your doing, you can survive. I met mostly men but there were some women and there were single mothers with children, and there were whole families with medical problems.

In Colorado, there is something like a 60,000 affordable units deficit. Landlords are evicting people so they can increase the rent on their properties and/or sell at a much (much!) higher price (the two houses that merged to form my current living arrangement were both victims of that.) And many of the evictees can't replace their home. Denver can't take care of the influx of people looking for home. Many of the homeless are those panhandlers you see at the same place the same time every day for years. They're not survivors. The solution, of course, is to get out of the area and look for home somewhere else - where it might actually exist, but, as it is, they don't know the options and the people that are trying to help people like them are overwhelmed by the vastness of their jobs. For the individuals, their options have run out and all they know is "homeless". They're evicted and they can't get shelter; they're hungry and the only way they know how to eat is "fregan" (dumpster diving), they're sick or they're baby daughter is sick and they don't know how to connect with medical care, and, even if there are more survivable places, they don't know how to get there.

If you are going to be the hero, you have to know that you can't save them all, some of them are going to die, you have to set priorities, and you're going to take some of the "bullets" because "hero" has always been synonymous with "sacrifice".