TEOTWAWKI as I never thought it would be.

**BornthatWay** · 10-28-2013, 09:31 AM

I am not sure where to start or what to put in this post but here it goes.

On September 17, 2013, my husband had a horrible single vehicle accident. Someone came up on the wreck and my husband was able to ask her to call me to tell me he had had an accident. I was headed to the accident and got behind the slowest driver in the world so called back to say I was coming but was behind a slow driver. This was on a two lane country road that no passing was possible. I was told he was being put into the rescue squad and so I headed straight for the hospital. I at on the exit ramp as the squad came past me with him in it. Of course they would not let me back for a few about 10 minutes which seemed like an eternity. The first thing I hear as I am walking to the trauma room he is in is that Pegasus, life helicopter, is on its way. I ask is that for him and they say yes. I am then escorted to a family room to be told what is wrong. I knew that it was not going to be good news when they took me in there. I have been in one of those rooms way too many times in my life and this was the topper.

By this time our children son, 27 and daughter 23 had arrived. They let us in the room while they loaded him on the stretcher for the helicopter ride and we walked to the chopper with them. The doctors felt he could recover from his injuries if gotten to the trauma hospital about 30 miles away. We are fortunate that the University of Virginia Hospital is so close. It took the helicopter about 8 minutes to get him there. We sat in the ER there for about 2 hours before they would let us back and tell us what was going on. He had a broken neck, his right lung was totally collapsed, his left lung partially collapsed, his right ear was missing he had a broken nose and lots of cuts on his forehead and back of head. He was on a ventilator due to the lung issues. He was admitted to the Trauma Center ICU and there we began a long road to recovery. He spent 19 days in this ICU unit. During this time I was asked many questions about what his wishes were and also the surgeries that had to be done to stabilize him. The first was to work on his neck to stabilize it. Then after 2 weeks of being on the vent he had to come off of it so a trach had to be placed. This is something we had never discussed and they told me they felt it would be temporary but when signing those papers there is no guarantee.

I can tell you that the trach is gone. He has some brain injury mostly just short term memory issues. He can tell you anything about most things but cannot remember what he did yesterday. It is getting better but is very frustrating. Once he got out of the ICU he was placed on the floor for a few days and then transferred to an acute rehab hospital for intense physical, occupational, and speech therapy. Then we ended up back at UVA as he had a serious infection. So after five weeks and one day we came home. We have now been home five days and I just wanted to let you know some things you better be sure you have in place before this type of situation. Fortunately we had most in place.

1. have a durable power of attorney in place for each other and be sure you name more than just your spouse in case you would both be hurt at the same time.

2. have an advance directive spelled out very specific. Do not think in terms of just your old age but what if you are in a serious accident of any type.

3. in the state of VA you can have a Do not Resuscitate form and a Do not intubate form signed. Once someone is intubated you are on a road that you may not want to be taken. Such as a tracheostomy and feeding tube.

4. Talk about all your wishes with your loved ones and make sure everyone understands what you want.

5. Make sure your will is up to date.

6. Do not waste you sick time as you never know when you are going to need it. Thank God he has over 6 months worth.

7. be sure you have money that easily accessible. and several thousand. As you will be eating in a hospital cafeteria and perhaps staying in a hotel close to the hospital. So having some cash tucked away at home or in your purse or wallet and either a debit card or credit card to use. As people do not accept checks anymore.

These are just some of the things that we had in place and if we had not I do not know how we could have survived this ordeal. We still have many months of recovery but we will be okay because of his sick time and our farm.

The old adage to save for a rainy day is very important because you just do not know how long that rain may last.

I hope this makes you stop and think and be sure you have things in place. Of course I would hope that most of you have done this since this is a forum about being prepared.

**crashdive123** · 10-28-2013, 10:11 AM

Thanks for the update. I know the road to recovery is a long one, but it sounds as though he is well along that road. Both you and J were missed at the Jamboree. We'll keep you all in our thoughts and prayers.

**Rick** · 10-28-2013, 10:56 AM

I'm sorry things have been so difficult but glad he is on the road to recovery. I hope he's fully back very soon.

I could not concur more on the forms.

Will
Living Will
Durable Power of Attorney
Health Care Power of Attorney
Organ Donor Form

All should be in place and signed. I provide a copy of all (except Will) to my docs and hospital any time I have something done. As you said, you never know. Your post should be a wake up call to anyone that has not taken the time to plan for such an event.

**hunter63** · 10-28-2013, 11:45 AM

Thanks for the post and update.
Our thoughts and prayers are with your whole family.

Good info.

**BornthatWay** · 10-28-2013, 02:34 PM

Thank you for the well wishes. I just felt I had to post this info. People always plan for what they want to happen in their old age and this was the wake up call to think about what you want done in an emergency situation when things are very serious.

I am thankful that Jerry is doing as well as he is. He has a very long way to go and we are so fortunate to have things in place to make it through. We also have two children and a son-in-law that have been there through this ordeal and are still helping with care. Our daughter is a nurse and that has certainly been very helpful as well.

One thing for sure things like this make your know if you are strong or not. I mean when you walk into those rooms with a loved one hooked to every machine and can barely see them for all the tubes and what not it is daunting. Thank God we have a been a family that has been through many medical events and so we made it through with a strong will and everyone able to deal with what was going on.

I am so glad we have made it this far. Our community had been so supportive and his fellow workers have done so much to help us. God really does give us the strength when we need it.

**Winnie** · 10-28-2013, 03:42 PM

Good to know he's doing so well, and you have plenty of support. I have to admit, this isn't something that has occurred to me, so I will look into it.

**BENESSE** · 10-28-2013, 10:23 PM

My heart goes out to you, BTW, and you have been in my thoughts and prayers. This is one of those TEOTWAYKI, that you don't see coming and can't quite prepare for other than taking care of the issues you raise. We all need to square those away now, because there might not be a chance later. We need to do it for ourselves and we need to do it for our loved ones.
Here's wishing Jerry continued improvement and the rest of the family patience and strength to hang in there.

**Rick** · 10-28-2013, 10:33 PM

Originally Posted by B

we need to do it for our loved ones.

To me, this is really the most important thing. If I'm in no position to make decisions on my own then I want my family to know exactly what my wishes are and have in the place the documents that will allow them to carry out those wishes and to carry on with life without the encumbrance of a court having to make some decisions that neither I nor my family might want. Add to that the estate issues without a will and you put your loved ones in a precarious and unnecessary position and might wind up paying the state money that your family could have used.

Tag me, bag me and set me on the curb on trash day but I'm not letting some judge make decisions for us.

**1stimestar** · 10-29-2013, 12:33 AM

Oh yes this brings back such heartwrenching memories. My heart goes out to you and your family on this long road to recovery. Do something nice for yourself. Let people help. Really, people do want to help. I remember lots of them telling me to call if I needed anything and not being able to call them. So do try to let those who want to help, do so. Please keep us posted as you can.

**BornthatWay** · 10-29-2013, 08:35 AM

Yes 1stimestar, you are so right. I will have to say people have been so wonderful. I have even taken people up on some of their offers. It is so easy to get lost in the ordeal that you do not know what is going on around you. I know you know all too well.

My sister is coming up Thanksgiving weekend and we are going to make cookies just like we do every year. I am so looking forward to that just to have something normal again.

**gryffynklm** · 10-29-2013, 11:14 AM

You and your family will be in my thoughts and prayers. You have give me a lot to think about and get in order.

**Williepete** · 10-29-2013, 11:48 PM

So sorry to hear of your problems. You are so right about the paper work. I am adding you and your family to my prayer list.

Sure hope everything comes out fine.

Bill

**Solar Geek** · 10-30-2013, 12:41 AM

SO very very sorry for what you are going through. We have been there with our son and the hardest part is watching your loved one suffer and you can't help.
Prayers for you both.