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Thread: Joke of the day.

  1. #1601
    Administrator Rick's Avatar
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    Often it's not about being the fastest or the smartest or the best. Sometimes it's just about having your priorities in order.

    Watch to the end....

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature...&v=gTH0pXZQ5I4
    Tracks Across the High Plains...Death on the Bombay Line...A Touch of Death and Mayhem...Dead Rock...The Griswald Mine Boys...All On Amazon Books.


  2. #1602
    Senior Member hunter63's Avatar
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    LOL, LOL, LOL.........Sometimes it's hard to keep Gunner on program, when there has been other male dogs training in the same area.....seems he want to be the TOP dog (on watering a vertical spot).....must be a guy thing.....Thanks, I can relate.
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  3. #1603
    Super Moderator crashdive123's Avatar
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    How did I know a close up was coming? A dog's gotta do what a dog's gotta do. Yep. That about sums it up.
    Can't Means Won't

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  4. #1604
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    All that dog needed was Ed McMahon saying....Heeeeeeeeeere's Johnny!
    Tracks Across the High Plains...Death on the Bombay Line...A Touch of Death and Mayhem...Dead Rock...The Griswald Mine Boys...All On Amazon Books.

  5. #1605
    Senior Member nell67's Avatar
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    Default depressed

    Soular powered by the son.

    Nell, MLT (ASCP)

  6. #1606
    Senior Member hunter63's Avatar
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    Ain't that the truth.....but only if you are serious........(drive a truck...LOL)
    Geezer Squad....Charter Member #1
    Evoking the 50 year old rule...
    First 50 years...worried about the small stuff...second 50 years....Not so much
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  7. #1607
    Super-duper Moderator Sarge47's Avatar
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    Default Economics 101!

    Illinois vs Wisconsin

    Illinois:
    The Governor of Illinois is jogging with his dog along a nature trail. A coyote jumps out and attacks the Governor's dog, then bites the Governor.
    1. The Governor starts to intervene, but reflects upon the movie "Bambi"
    and then realizes he should stop because the coyote is only doing what is natural.
    ... 2. He calls animal control .. Animal Control captures the coyote and
    bills the State $200 testing it for diseases and $500 for relocating it.
    3. He calls a veterinarian. The vet collects the dead dog and bills the
    State $200 testing it for diseases.
    4. The Governor goes to hospital and spends $3,500 getting checked for
    diseases from the coyote and on getting his bite wound bandaged.
    5. The running trail gets shut down for 6 months while Fish & Game
    conducts a $100,000 survey to make sure the area is now free of dangerous animals.
    6. The Governor spends $50,000 in state funds implementing a "coyote
    awareness program" for residents of the area.
    7. The State Legislature spends $2 million to study how to better treat
    rabies and how to permanently eradicate the disease throughout the world.
    8 The Governor's security agent is fired for not stopping the attack. The State spends $150,000 to hire and train a new agent with additional special training re: the nature of coyotes.
    9. PETA protests the coyote's relocation and files a $5 million suit against the State.

    Wisconsin :
    The Governor of Wisconsin is jogging with his dog along a nature trail. A coyote jumps out and attacks the dog.
    1. The Governor shoots the coyote with his concealed carry pistol and keeps jogging. The Governor has spent $0.50 on a .45 ACP hollow point cartridge.
    2. The Crows eat the dead coyote.
    And that, my friends, is why Illinois is broke and Wisconsin is not.
    Last edited by Sarge47; 07-31-2012 at 01:19 PM.
    SARGE
    "Two things are infinite: the universe and human stupidity; and I'm not sure about the the universe."
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  8. #1608
    Senior Member kyratshooter's Avatar
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    A man comes home from work and walks in the house. He goes to the fridge and finds a note on the door.

    "This is not working, I can't take it any more. I've gone home to mother."

    The man opens the door and grabs a beer, then mumbles;

    "The light works and the beer is cold, what's her problem?"
    If you didn't bring jerky what did I just eat?

  9. #1609
    Senior Member hunter63's Avatar
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    Teacher asked the class........Did Noah do a lot of fishing on the ark?

    Johnny says, "No he only had two worms....."
    Geezer Squad....Charter Member #1
    Evoking the 50 year old rule...
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  10. #1610
    Senior Member Jay's Avatar
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    Delicious.jpgDelicious.jpg Its a valid question isn't it?
    Walk softly upon the earth!

  11. #1611
    Senior Member Jay's Avatar
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    Walk softly upon the earth!

  12. #1612
    Senior Member hunter63's Avatar
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    OMG who thinks of these things?.....LOL
    Geezer Squad....Charter Member #1
    Evoking the 50 year old rule...
    First 50 years...worried about the small stuff...second 50 years....Not so much
    Member Wahoo Killer knives club....#27

  13. #1613
    Super Moderator crashdive123's Avatar
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    Jay! Where you been? Hope all is well in your part of the world.
    Can't Means Won't

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  14. #1614
    Senior Member Ted's Avatar
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    True story. My boys had a new kid from the neighboughhood over to play vid games. The new kid kept say friggen this and friggen that. I do mean friggen not the f-bomb implied. So just about the time I was going to tell the kid to stop it, Toby says "Quit saying friggen all the time you friggen idiot!"
    I'm a simple man, of simple means, turned my back on the machines, to follow my dreams.

  15. #1615
    Senior Member Jay's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by crashdive123 View Post
    Jay! Where you been? Hope all is well in your part of the world.
    Hi Crash. I see you guys are still going strong. I dont go online as much as I used to. I'm doing fine. I am working with a bunch of people from the US and a local university. We are trying to develop a more effective anti venom for snake bite victims in Sri Lanka. I was out most of the past year collecting our top five venomous snakes for the project. we have 150 venomous snakes and we are in the process of extracting and building up stocks of venom. If you google Animal Venom Research International..you can check out our project.

    Apart from that...life goes on. Still do a lot of volunteer work with kids. Keeps me fully occupied.

    Nice to get back in touch with you guys again. I must try to visit the forum more often.
    That's it for now.
    Catch u guys later.
    Cheers
    J
    Walk softly upon the earth!

  16. #1616
    Senior Member hunter63's Avatar
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    Hey, Jay,.... if you are in Sri Lanka........Keep an eye open for my cousin....Got an e-mail awhile back saying she was stranded there, and needed me to send her $1200 or so.....sad, she lost her passport, money and is in jail.....and was in bad trouble.

    I just sent the e-mail back telling her that I really didn't like her anyway,....Oh yeah,...what the heck you doing in Sri Lanka?, .....and should have been more careful.

    Haven't heard back....Hummmm?
    Geezer Squad....Charter Member #1
    Evoking the 50 year old rule...
    First 50 years...worried about the small stuff...second 50 years....Not so much
    Member Wahoo Killer knives club....#27

  17. #1617
    Senior Member hunter63's Avatar
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    If Wyle E. Coyote had enough money to buy all that ACME crap, why didn't he just buy dinner
    Geezer Squad....Charter Member #1
    Evoking the 50 year old rule...
    First 50 years...worried about the small stuff...second 50 years....Not so much
    Member Wahoo Killer knives club....#27

  18. #1618
    Super Moderator crashdive123's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by hunter63 View Post
    If Wyle E. Coyote had enough money to buy all that ACME crap, why didn't he just buy dinner
    He wasn't a fan of restaurant corporatism.
    Can't Means Won't

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  19. #1619
    Super-duper Moderator Sarge47's Avatar
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    Cool Well, since you had to ask...

    Quote Originally Posted by hunter63 View Post
    If Wyle E. Coyote had enough money to buy all that ACME crap, why didn't he just buy dinner
    He's a survivalist!
    SARGE
    "Two things are infinite: the universe and human stupidity; and I'm not sure about the the universe."
    Albert Einstein

    Proud father of a US Marine....SEMPER FI!

    They who can give up essential liberty to obtain a little temporary safety deserve neither liberty nor safety.
    Benjamin Franklin

  20. #1620
    Senior Member wtrfwlr's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by hunter63 View Post
    If Wyle E. Coyote had enough money to buy all that ACME crap, why didn't he just buy dinner
    He had a muti-year sponsorship that was negotiated through Warner Bros. He got all that stuff for free, part of the deal. It's all about name brand and product placement. Acme was ahead of it's time! Dodge/Chrysler was in on it with the introduction of the 68' model RoadRunner and the Beep-Beep horn (properly pronounced Meep-Meep) Sweet deal for a Coyote in the 1960's wouldn't you say? A true unsung mastermind that Yote was indeed, albeit skinny and hungry....but hey!
    My goal in life is to be the kind of person my dog thinks I'am.

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