I need help

**intothenew** · 02-01-2012, 06:51 AM

Originally Posted by Mendelssohn

I have vague goals but I do not know the best ways to go about achieving them.

If you will begin to emulate those goals in your current situation, things should start to get clearer.

I'm a bottom up kinda guy. The way out is best determined by looking inward first. What skills and resources do I have? That will determine the path options I have going forward.

You want to pick a spot on a map, or have someone pick it for you, and develop a path to it. I consider that a flawed approach, you may not like what you find once you're there. It may not be there by the time you arrive. Study, and practice, the fundamentals now. A passion for something will grab you. You will find that there are many paths to the same, or different, destinations.

**BENESSE** · 02-01-2012, 09:05 AM

Vague goals aren't compelling enough to get you* going and the idea of achieving them may seem a little overwhelming. So you spend a lot of time in your head tying to sort it out.
Pick one thing that has interested you the longest and do something about it. Read up on it, take a course, join a club, go on a trip, volunteer, get a part-time job in it...just do something. It's the best way I know how to focus while getting closer to something that really matters to you. The more you do, the more you'll learn, the more you can dimensionalize your goals. And who knows, a new direction and new connections might emerge that you couldn't have predicted in the first place.

(* by you, I mean one--anyone)

**Mendelssohn** · 02-01-2012, 09:13 AM

Originally Posted by intothenew

If you will begin to emulate those goals in your current situation, things should start to get clearer.

I'm a bottom up kinda guy. The way out is best determined by looking inward first. What skills and resources do I have? That will determine the path options I have going forward.

You want to pick a spot on a map, or have someone pick it for you, and develop a path to it. I consider that a flawed approach, you may not like what you find once you're there. It may not be there by the time you arrive. Study, and practice, the fundamentals now. A passion for something will grab you. You will find that there are many paths to the same, or different, destinations.

Those goals are being practiced to the best of my ability because I don't socialize with people much at all, and I go to nature whenever I can. So the question is how I will achieve the goals, for example, will I need survival skills?

I agree that I should study and practice the fundamentals now, to prepare for multiple outcomes, however it is also clear to me that at some point I do have to choose a destination. This destination should be studied in depth to see if it's really what I want and so I can prepare in some way. This has to happen. The only question is, do I start thinking about it well in advance or do I wait until I'm ready to leave? I think that like with many things it's smart to think about it in advance, because when you first come across something it can seem good, but the more you look into it the truth is revealed.

What you are saying are good things to practice, but this should be done as well, in fact it has to be done, the only question is when.

I do not see the benefit in keeping my future a mystery, rather than understanding the paths I can take and the pros and cons of each to the best of my ability.

As for your one step at a time approach... It doesn't really apply in this sense, because all I am asking is to understand the destinations I can take so I can act toward them, which will then be one step at a time...because it is impossible to do anything of use without at least looking ahead to the future a little to determine how you're going to act in the present. In everything you do, you first look to the future for what you should do. I am only looking to the long term as well to I make sure I am not deceiving myself when the time comes.

Thanks for your advice.

**Mendelssohn** · 02-01-2012, 09:23 AM

Originally Posted by BENESSE

Vague goals aren't compelling enough to get you* going and the idea of achieving them may seem a little overwhelming. So you spend a lot of time in your head tying to sort it out.
Pick one thing that has interested you the longest and do something about it. Read up on it, take a course, join a club, go on a trip, volunteer, get a part-time job in it...just do something. It's the best way I know how to focus while getting closer to something that really matters to you. The more you do, the more you'll learn, the more you can dimensionalize your goals. And who knows, a new direction and new connections might emerge that you couldn't have predicted in the first place.

My goals are quite compelling enough, just to clarify, and I understand what I want, and I also understand that there are various ways to get there, so I am trying to study those ways.

Yes, you're right. Skill building activities. My days are full with those. Read up on what exactly? That's what I'm trying to determine by inquiring about what path I should take. Trust me I have tried to read up on being a hermit but I couldn't find anything decent. I've read hardcore survival, but I don't know if that's what I want to do... I could very well be living in a modern household in the country and I only have to worry about finances. I'm sorting out options and all of the pros and cons well in advance and that is an intelligent thing to do.

**BENESSE** · 02-01-2012, 09:24 AM

It's hard (foolhardy, really) to pick a long term destinaton based soleley on what people say or what you read about it.
You really should make a few trips out there to see for yourself. No exception.
It's one thing to go on a few weeks vacation and quite another to choose a long term homestead--sight unseen-- with which you have no experience.
Get your school behind you, and start making trips into possible locations which you researched beforehand. At least that would be my MO.
We don't know what's in your head, we can only tell you what our experience has tought us. That's all.

**Mendelssohn** · 02-01-2012, 09:43 AM

Originally Posted by BENESSE

It's hard (foolhardy, really) to pick a long term destinaton based soleley on what people say or what you read about it.
You really should make a few trips out there to see for yourself. No exception.
It's one thing to go on a few weeks vacation and quite another to choose for a long term homestead--sight unseen-- with which you have no experience.
Get your school behind you, and start making trips into possible locations which you researched beforehand. At least that would be my MO.
We don't know what's in your head, we can only tell you what our experience has tought us. That's all.

I don't want to pick a destination solely on research. However, simple logic tells me that research is necessary. If I didn't know anything about anyplace I could certainly be traveling the entire world before finding a place that suits me. There are many places I know wouldn't suit me based on research, which would save A LOT of money and time going to those places, which I couldn't afford, and which would set me back years from my goal. Further research could ONLY help to reduce the amount of time and money wasted on endeavors that could have easily been avoided by picking up a book or asking someone. Therefore, what I'm doing on this forum is useful, it may just not be a useful place to ask these questions.

I agree with you. I have to take a trip there and see for myself as well. I would be looking at the land there and asking the local guides to tell me about it.

I appreciate it. It's good advice.

**finallyME** · 02-01-2012, 11:32 AM

In case no one has seen this video of a hermit.

**SARKY** · 02-01-2012, 11:49 AM

I can't help thinking, didn't the last person who was so very compelled to do something like this wind up dead in a bus in the bush of Alaska?

**Rick** · 02-01-2012, 12:12 PM

You might also want to examine why you are adverse to being around people. Perhaps the goal is not living in the wilderness but understanding what your aversion is. It matters not to me I just thought I'd throw it out. Sometimes we focus on the solution to the wrong problem.

**Mendelssohn** · 02-01-2012, 06:39 PM

Originally Posted by finallyME

In case no one has seen this video of a hermit.

Thanks. I actually have not seen this one. =)

**Mendelssohn** · 02-01-2012, 06:42 PM

Originally Posted by SARKY

I can't help thinking, didn't the last person who was so very compelled to do something like this wind up dead in a bus in the bush of Alaska?

I think that's a vast oversimplification. I have seen that film and the boy took virtually no efforts to prepare and was reckless.. He burnt all his money.. he didn't know how to prepare meat.. I could go on.

Also I probably wouldn't hike out to Alaska with a backpack. I'm looking for an easier route than that. And I'm not opposed to having some money to help me, as he was.

Also have you seen the other documentary about an Alaskan hermit, called Alone in the Wild? He survived easily out there.

**Mendelssohn** · 02-01-2012, 06:47 PM

Originally Posted by Rick

You might also want to examine why you are adverse to being around people. Perhaps the goal is not living in the wilderness but understanding what your aversion is. It matters not to me I just thought I'd throw it out. Sometimes we focus on the solution to the wrong problem.

Thanks Rick. That's actually very smart of you to bring up. I have thought about that a lot, really. For many years I have considered if it's based on some psychological problem, or if it's actually helpful, and what I really want.

The truth is I might be a little weird in society but I can go with the flow of it if I want to. I can socialize with people, and I can even enjoy it. My reasoning is hard to explain but could probably be considered as philosophical rather than psychological. I feel that it will do something great for me. There's a chance it won't, but even then it will be great to at least know that and stop thinking about it.

**Rick** · 02-01-2012, 07:58 PM

We all have our quirks that make us unique, good or bad. As you say, if you move forward at least you'll know if that's what you really want to do.

**Mendelssohn** · 02-01-2012, 08:17 PM

Originally Posted by Rick

We all have our quirks that make us unique, good or bad. As you say, if you move forward at least you'll know if that's what you really want to do.

Exactly! And this is something I've been dreaming about for such a long time that it's unavoidable to at least try it.

**vahtryn** · 02-01-2012, 08:24 PM

Originally Posted by SemperFi

want to learn survival , want to experience survival in its fight for survival form , join the Marines young man!

While the Marines, or any military service to earn your franchise will teach you that it's also not the only way to learn how to learn to fight for survival. Living on the streets will teach you equally as many skills. Living poor even when you have money will also teach you the same.

I'm a crap carpenter. Yet over the weekend I built shelves because I had to figure out how. this weekend I will be building a desk and a bed frame. Not because I have to, but rather that because I want to.

**intothenew** · 02-01-2012, 09:31 PM

Originally Posted by finallyME

In case no one has seen this video of a hermit..............

A P-38 attached to my spoon, or possibly a big girl P-51, would make the story boring. Or, would it?

I cannot imagine that outcome. Well maybe, in my negative REM cycles, maybe.

**Mendelssohn** · 02-01-2012, 09:51 PM

Originally Posted by vahtryn

While the Marines, or any military service to earn your franchise will teach you that it's also not the only way to learn how to learn to fight for survival. Living on the streets will teach you equally as many skills. Living poor even when you have money will also teach you the same.

I'm a crap carpenter. Yet over the weekend I built shelves because I had to figure out how. this weekend I will be building a desk and a bed frame. Not because I have to, but rather that because I want to.

Yes, I agree =).

That's good. I plan to do projects like that when I have a place of my own.

**Rick** · 02-01-2012, 10:21 PM

Vahtryn - May I suggest you build a model of each first? Models are a good way to learn the fundamentals of cabinet making without the expense of messing up on a big scale. You are going to find problems, things you wish you would have done differently, etc. A model won't cost much to make those mistakes on. Then, when you have the model the way you want it you don't have much of a problem to scale up to the size you want. Just a thought.

Years ago I couldn't afford to make mistakes on a grand scale so I drew out my models. I had taken drafting in high school so I used that meager background to make my models. It made it a lot easier to build the final product because I had already "built" it a couple of times.