Is this really how we should be raising our kids?

[ryaninmichigan]

Sorry but the big call for stopping cyberbullying is being pushed too far the numbers of kids killing themselves are up for two reasons 1) coping mechanisms and social skills are being neglected by parents who are more than happy to give in to kids and be friends and not parents 2) population growth, kids committed suicide while I was growing up there were just less kids. Oh and the inherit cowardly anonymity and confidence gained from the net. Parents send children to school to learn and believe it stops there, they give kids whatever they want so they'll shut up or wont be hip. Kids have always felt despair, lonliness, and disappointment. Thats growing up dealing with adversity and strife. Not all the baby turtles make it to the sea, no matter how hard we try, how many laws are legislated, how much we coddle. Children will still be cruel, cutthroat little animals and find ways to hurt eachother. It still happens as adults office politics, politcs, social circles, intimate relationships you name it. Childhood trains us for it and 99% of the time is successful. Now don't misunderstand me, I believe Life is a fragile thing and should not be taken lightly. There are a good many people who were stopped from committing suicide or had a failed attempt that are strong productive members of society. We shouldn't stop trying to help these these lost souls but we also can't go about dictating emotion and legislating acceptance. Diversity, turmoil, and emotional strife are base human experience and to rid the world of them would be a tragedy in and of itself. Without those three thing we would be bereft of a huge amount of culture. Music that touches the soul, Art that moves the spirit, Poetry and writing that opens worlds. The biggest change that needs to come about is the Interest and participation we take in our children's lives and stop letting them raise themselves or being raised by their peers and electronics.

" We shouldn't stop trying to help these these lost souls but we also can't go about dictating emotion and legislating acceptance. Diversity, turmoil, and emotional strife are base human experience and to rid the world of them would be a tragedy in and of itself"

Well said

[Rick]

Bullying has nothing to do with schools. It may manifest itself there because of the numbers and proximity of kids but bullying starts with parents that are bullies. Kids that are bullies act that way no matter where they are and it lasts their whole life so they can raise their kids the same way.

There is NEVER an excuse to put your hands on a woman. A man walks away. That's just another form of bullying.

[Highhawk1948]

I agree with dscrick. Only time my Daughter had problems I visited with the kids parents and we settled it between the parents. But then again today I think that parents don't believe their kids do any wrong these days.

[Winter]

Kids these days are spoiled rotten. They kill themselves over mommy not buying them the newest cellphone.

I know many won't agree with me, but, as in most things, I don't care.

I'd like a wilderness school that takes these kids into the bush where they can decide to live or die the old way.

I guarantee you the most obnoxious, spoiled brat will be your little helper 3 days in. I'm tired of whiners.



ETA- Cyber bullying? Get offline.

"Well why should these kids not get to use the internet?" Cause they can't handle it.

[BENESSE]

Winter, I can't figure out if you're refering to the bullys or the the victims. There is a difference.

[Winter]

I was referring to the "victims". They choose to be victims. They may have low self esteem, no experience with loss or perceived loss, or just dumbasses.

Bully's are everywhere. The key is not to eradicate bullies, the key is to teach people how to deal with bullies.

Two ways.

1. Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me.

2. Open a can of whoopass.

[BENESSE]

Substitute "criminal" for "bully" and see how it plays out.

[natertot]

Substitute "criminal" for "bully" and see how it plays out.

Then you go for option 2!

No one makes the choice to be a victim, per se. People do make rather poor choices without thinking about the end result which often leads to victimization. Ei, a small woman walking alone in a crime ridden neighborhood wearing extremely nice clothes and has a huge designer purse over her shoulder wouldn't make it one block without something happening. However, a group of 5-6 women sticking close together with small purses concealed under their coats and keeping an eye on their surroundings would be okay, more than likely.

In short, you can't make yourself a "target".

Rick, you say that a man should never put their hands on a woman and always walk away. I met a man shot twice in the back doing that. I also met a man that received multiple cuts from a kitchen knife also heeding that advice. There is also a man running around with permanent brain damage do to head trauma from a sevcere beating. If I remember on that one, the lady used a kitchen chair.

In short, I don't care if it is a man or women, I will protect myself and my family. However, I wouldn't fight a woman that runs her mouth. That I would always walk away from.

[Rick]

There is a difference between being a victim and a man. That's not what I'm talking about. If a woman wants to take a gun or knife to me I wouldn't have the slightest problem shooting her. If she decides to take a swing at me I'll walk away. Huge difference.

[BENESSE]

I also thought we were talking about kids being bullied which is very different from adults.
The rules are very different when it comes to children and those who can't tell the difference deserve to be taken to the woodshed.

[southard]

One thing that I'm seeing that connects every post is that a wide brush is being used. For me when I said lost souls I also meant the bullies. Not every situation fits into a neat mold. Legislation can only be very specific or so broad that it can be abused or at least interpreted so many ways that it becomes impotent. Suicide is not someone killing themselves (except possibly in terminal illness) but killing the whole world.

[Winter]

Substitute "criminal" for "bully" and see how it plays out.

Criminals are everywhere. The key is not to eradicate criminals, the key is to teach people how to deal with criminals.

One way.

1. Open a can of whoopass.

[BENESSE]

Prisons are full of people who thought they were doing the right thing.
Leave your whoopass and short fuse at the door and think it through before you fly off the handle. Be smart about it.

[Winter]

Prisons are full of people who thought they were doing the right thing.

No they aren't. You got statistics for that or did it come to you in a dream?

[Rick]

I don't think a can of whoopass is the answer either. For one, the criminal might be carrying a bigger can. For two, you might be taking a can to a knife or gun fight. For three, you might not have a can. A 60 year old up against two or three 20 somethings doesn't even warrant a can opener.

Now scale that back to a kids level and the same thing applies. Violence does not solve a lot of problems.

[BENESSE]

No they aren't. You got statistics for that or did it come to you in a dream?

The statistics came up in my dream.

[Winter]

So, you do have some factual basis for that statement or no?

[Rick]

80% of statistics are made up on the spot 70% of the time. Next question.

[BENESSE]

So, you do have some factual basis for that statement or no?

I do. I really do. But let's not kid ourselves...it's not gonna sway you one way or another. And that's OK.
Sometimes we get it when we least expect it.

[natertot]

Good discussion.

Benesse, prisons are not full of people who thought they were doing the right thing. They are full of people who thought they could get away with it. Also, there is a much smaller line between kids and adults now. Guns, drugs, babies, STD's, cars, and money. Kids have really stepped up the past few decades. A few months ago, I got into a tussle at work with a guy, turned out he was a 12yo runaway.

Rick and Winter, the "can" maybe the solution depending on what the problem is. Someone keeps running their mouth? let 'em. Someone wants your lunch money? Report 'em. Someone threatening violence against you? Evade and survive if possible. If not, I prefer a suckerpunch.