Joke of the day.

[Sarge47]

>>>Public restroom experience. What is this world coming to.

OMG!....I was in in the public toilet - I was barely sitting down
when I heard a voice in the other stall: "Hi, how are you?"
Me: embarrassed, "Doin' fine!"
Stall: "So what are you up to?"
Me: "Uhhh, I'm like you, just sitting here."
Stall: "Can I come over?"
Me: (attitude) "No, I'm a little busy right now!!"
Stall: "Listen, I'll have to call you back. There's an idiot in
the other stall who keeps answering all my questions!

[Rick]

Once upon a time we were on a rather huge conference call with a number of VPs on board. At one point in the call you could distinctly hear the soud of "water" running then a toilet flush. It got very quiet on the call. One of the VPs finally said, "The proposal may not be a good one but it isn't that bad." Everyone had a muffled chuckle and we finished the call. I don't recall anyone trying that ever again.

[finallyME]

I heard a good one today...

One can not apply an engineers approach to dating, women are not fond of large sample sizes....

As an engineer, I will just say how true that is.

[Cousin-IT]

there once was a man from kuntuket, he had a bucket, and then an angry yetti killed him cos no-one likes people from kuntucket

.....it's stupid but i know you laughed -.-

[crashdive123]

Well - you got it half right. No, I didn't laugh.

[Cousin-IT]

fine your inner child smiled then >.>

[crashdive123]

No - not really.

[hunter63]

Be REAL Careful what you wish for...



A man walks into a restaurant with a full-grown ostrich behind him.

The waitress asks them for their orders.

The man says, "A hamburger, fries and a coke," and turns to
the ostrich, "What's yours?"

"I'll have the same," says the ostrich.

A short time later the waitress returns with the order. "That will
be $9.40 please." The man reaches into his pocket and
pulls out the exact change for payment.

The next day, the man and the ostrich come again and the man
says, "A hamburger, fries and a coke."

The ostrich says, "I'll have the same."

Again the man reaches into his pocket and pays with exact change.

This becomes routine until the two enter again. "The usual?"
asks the waitress.

"No, this is Friday night, so I will have a steak, baked potato and
a salad," says the man.

"Same," says the ostrich.

Shortly the waitress brings the order and says, "That will be $32.62."

Once again the man pulls the exact change out of his pocket and
places it on the table.

The waitress cannot hold back her curiosity any longer. "Excuse me,
sir. How do you manage to always come up with the exact change
in your pocket every time?"

"Well," says the man, "several years ago I was cleaning the attic and
found an old lamp. When I rubbed it, a Genie appeared and offered
me two wishes. My first wish was that if I ever had to pay for anything,
I would just put my hand in my pocket and the right amount of money
would always be there."

"That's brilliant!" says the waitress. "Most people would ask for a
million dollars or something, but you'll always be as rich as you want
for as long as you live!"

"That's right..Whether it's a gallon of milk or a Rolls Royce, the exact
money is always there," says the man.

The waitress asks, "What's with the ostrich?"

The man sighs, pauses and answers, "My second wish was for a tall chick
with a big *** and long legs who agrees with everything I say.."

[wtrfwlr]

A man died and went to heaven. He saw a huge wall of clocks behind St. Peter. "Why all the clocks"?'
St. Peter answered, 'Those are Lie-Clocks. Everyone has a Lie-Clock. Every time you lie the hands on your clock will move.'
'Oh,' said the man, 'whose clock is that?' ...............
'That's Mother Teresa's. The hands have never moved, she never told a lie.'
'Where's President Obama's clock?' asked the man.
Obama's clock is in Jesus' office. He's using it as a ceiling fan

[Rick]

Grandpa and grandson were sitting on the porch steps one brisk autumn afternoon. They were watching the geese fly south.

Grandpa: "Son, do you know why geese fly south in the winter?"
Grandson: "'Cause it's easier than walking?"
Grandpa: "Well, let's go with that. It's better than my answer anyway."

[Cousin-IT]

there were 2 men sitting on a bar, it snapped off cause it wasn't attached properly and the both died in a horible car crash that resulted from them plumeting 23 stories above the ground

[Sparky93]

there were 2 men sitting on a bar, it snapped off cause it wasn't attached properly and the both died in a horible car crash that resulted from them plumeting 23 stories above the ground

??????????????

[Cousin-IT]

bar.... i-beam........ your supposed to be amused by my creativity not what i actually said

[Rick]

Epic Fail.

[crashdive123]

Usually when a joke has to be explained - it loses its humor. In this case however, there was none to begin with.

[Archr]

Epic Fail.

Learned that from the troop, no doubt. Keeps us young.

[hossthehermit]

there were 2 men sitting on a bar, it snapped off cause it wasn't attached properly and the both died in a horible car crash that resulted from them plumeting 23 stories above the ground

That's hilarious!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[Rick]

Learned that from the troop, no doubt. Keeps us young.

Actually, I have a hobby of coming up with phrases that are destined to become part of the lexicon. You'd be surprised how many of today's top performers and avant garde high society types call me wanting the "word of the week". Then again, maybe you wouldn't.

[Rick]

Guests can not see images in the messages. Please register in the forum.

[Jay]

Actually, I have a hobby of coming up with phrases that are destined to become part of the lexicon. You'd be surprised how many of today's top performers and avant garde high society types call me wanting the "word of the week". Then again, maybe you wouldn't.

Lexcon????? is that like um...related to the Unicon?