The Wilderness Idea

**trax** · 01-18-2008, 06:39 PM

Originally Posted by corndog-44

trax; since retiring I'm using psychology and philosophy to delay my memory loss. It helps some....wait till you reach your 60s

.

Oh yeah, I tried that back in....wait, I know this one...back in ...ummm, ah **** I forget!

**corndog-44** · 01-18-2008, 06:48 PM

Originally Posted by Sarge47

So answer me this, braniacs....If a Hippopotamous' hollow tooth is as long as a Rhinocerous' intellect, how long would it take a mosquito wearing rubber hip boots to shingle an out-house with potato chips?(five extra points if you can figure out how much longer it would take it to hang a door on it!

)

Sarge; is that one of your magic tricks?

**Tony uk** · 01-18-2008, 08:08 PM

How much wood would a Wood Chuck chuck if a Wood Chuck could chuck wood ?

**Swede** · 01-22-2008, 07:51 PM

And meanwhile,,,, what's the difference in an orange??

For me,, its being selfish, I work long hard hours dealing with Joe Public and all his stupid ideas and lack of common sense, when I go "out" and hear nothing but the Creator's work,,, I actually bask in it like a snake lying on a rock in the sun.. Now look what you guys have done to me, I'm thinking!!!!! OH NO..... IM DOOMED

**Sarge47** · 01-22-2008, 07:53 PM

BRUUHAAHAAHAAHA!!!!

**Rick** · 01-22-2008, 08:35 PM

See, Swede, the plan is (and we've been successful in this before) that you will just drop down in despair and then while you're weeping with head in hands, we make off with your gear. So, we expect good gear. Really good gear. Don't want to be stealin' no junk. Not becoming of a wolf pack member. We do have our pride.....no, that's lions....Pack. That's it.

**Swede** · 01-22-2008, 11:16 PM

I shall not break the voices will sustain me.. I can not fall I must maintain!!!

**Nativedude** · 01-23-2008, 12:55 AM

Originally Posted by Sarge47

So answer me this, braniacs....If a Hippopotamous' hollow tooth is as long as a Rhinocerous' intellect, how long would it take a mosquito wearing rubber hip boots to shingle an out-house with potato chips?

The same amount of time it would take to walk the length of 5 blue pickles stretched across the Ketchup river wearing cow udder rubber pants and carrying a gorgonzola umbrella, while baking a shoo-fly pie!

Originally Posted by Sarge47

(five extra points if you can figure out how much longer it would take it to hang a door on it!

)

Hangin' the door is a quick as catching a fart in the wind!!

I thought you were gonna ask something hard!

**Rick** · 01-23-2008, 06:59 AM

Rubber wear seems to be a popular item on this forum. What have I signed up for?

**corndog-44** · 01-24-2008, 05:18 PM

THE MOCKERY OF LIFE
by Graham Lee Hemminger

God! What a mockery is this life of ours!
Cast forth in blood and pain from our mother's womb,
Most like an excrement, and weeping showers
Of senseless tears: unreasoning, naked, dumb,
The symbol of all weakness and the sum:
Our very life a sufferance. -- Presently,
Grown stronger, we must fight for standing-room
Upon the earth, and the bare liberty
To breathe and move. We crave the right to toil.
We push, we strive, we jostle with the rest.
We learn new courage, stifle our old fears,
Stand with stiff backs, take part in every broil.
It may be that we love, that we are blest.
It may be, for a little space of years,
We conquer fate and half forget our tears.

And then fate strikes us. First our joys decay.
Youth, with its pleasures, is a tale soon told.
We grow a little poorer day by day.
Old friendships falter. Loves grow strangely cold.
In vain we shift our hearts to a new hold
And barter joy for joy, the less for less.
We doubt our strength, our wisdom, and our gold.
We stand alone, as in a wilderness
Of doubts and terrors. Then, if we be wise,
We make our terms with fate and, while we may,
Sell our life's last sad remnant for a hope.
And it is wisdom thus to close our eyes.
But for the foolish, those who cannot pray,
What else remains of their dark horoscope
But a tall tree and courage and a rope?

And who shall tell what ignominy death
Has yet in store for us; what abject fears
Even for the best of us; what fights for breath;
What sobs, what supplications, what wild tears;
What impotence of soul against despairs
Which blot out reason? -- The last trembling thought
Of each poor brain, as dissolution nears,
Is not of fair life lost, of Heaven bought
And glory won. 'Tis not the thought of grief;
Of friends deserted; loving hearts which bleed;
Wives, sisters, children who around us weep.
But only a mad clutching for relief
From physical pain, importunate Nature's need;
The search as for a womb where we may creep
Back from the world, to hide, -- perhaps to sleep.

**Tony uk** · 01-24-2008, 05:59 PM

Originally Posted by Rick

Rubber wear seems to be a popular item on this forum. What have I signed up for?

One way trip to hell, No bathroom stops style ............

**canid** · 01-24-2008, 06:08 PM

that's a sad take on the endeavor. my outlook's neither so bleak nor sober. i'll keep my pleasant faith whether delusory or no. it think i'll be out back choppin' wood when it comes time to go.

Upon a lonely northern hillside stood
A weathered, wizened Shepard, bent and old.

Uncounted seasons stood that man,
Through fearsome tempests and winters cold.

Upon the still sweet airs one day
Where born so bittersweet the melodies of song.

Low dirge as of unseen pipers mourning;
High and happy notes that rang out long.

Enchanting orchestra of rock and reed;
The sadness of the fen and dale and tree.

Hark you Shepard, hearken to angelic song
Your maker comes for aid, not for your soul.

'Look round and see; the splendor far off lies.
Your life, though good, lays distant. Bring it nigh.'

**Rick** · 01-24-2008, 06:10 PM

I've never seen a purple cow
I never hope to see one
But I can tell you here and now
I'd rather see than be one.

**Tony uk** · 01-24-2008, 06:16 PM

When you take a long time, you're slow.
When your boss takes a long time, he's thorough.

When you don't do it, you're lazy.
When your boss doesn't do it, he's too busy.

When you make a mistake, you're an idiot.
When your boss makes a mistake, he's only human.

When doing something without being told, you're overstepping your authority.
When your boss does the same thing, that's initiative.

When you take a stand, you're being pig-headed.
When your boss does it, he's being firm.

When you overlooked a rule of ettiquette, you're being rude.
When your boss skips a few rules, he's being original.

When you please your boss, you're arse-creeping.
When your boss pleases his boss, he's being co-operative.

When you're out of the office, you're wandering around.
When your boss is out of the office, he's on business.

When you're on a day off sick, you're always sick.
When your boss has a day off sick, he must be very ill.

When you apply for leave, you must be going for an interview.
When your boss applies for leave, it's because he's overworked.