Random Advice

[huntermj]

I'm looking for off hand advice wither funny or practical or both. Like i once took a buddy rock climbing and at the end of the day he asked why i was wearing long jean pants in 90 deg. heat on a big wall. i said, thinking he already knew this, so i wont get poison Ivy on the bushwack here. oh he got it so bad, like a hole in his leg. And was a little upset i didn't tell him beforehand. or like someone could have told me, don't marry for looks! yea that worked out well. or like my Grandpa told me never draw a knife toward yourself. he said That while cutting poison Ivy off the back of his hand. it got so infected, OMG. He was one tough bastard, I love that man, Hes my hero.
So, Dont pizz into the wind, dont spit on supermans cape?

[wareagle69]

don't squat with yer spurs on

[hunter63]

Don't pull the mask on the old Lone Ranger, and you mess around with Jim.

Grampa told me once, don't marry a women with big hands, make your johnson look small.

[huntermj]

Thats funny

[rwc1969]

If I'm out in the woods with someone I usually let them go first. keeps me from getting covered in spiderwebs.

[Rick]

Don't drink downstream from the herd.
Never follow good whiskey with water, unless you're out of good whiskey.
It takes a big man to cry... but it takes a bigger man to laugh at that man.
Never wrestle with a pig, You both get all dirty, and the pig likes it.
Timing has a lot to do with the outcome of a rain dance.
If you find yourself in a hole, the first thing to do is to stop diggin'.
Never kick a cow chip on a hot day.
Always take a good look at what yer about to eat. It's not so important to know what it is, but it's sure crucial to know what it was.

[2dumb2kwit]

When thinking long term, about a girl, always check out her mom....'cuz that's what you're gonna have, in about 20 years.

[2dumb2kwit]

Don't be impressed by the girl that looks good, in tight jeans. Them jeans can hold flab, in a pretty shape.

Now, the girl that looks good in loose jeans........that's all her doin'!

[hunter63]

Y'all from the west can vouch for this one.
Three guys riding in a pick up heading for town........Where is the best place to sit?
The middle,......You don't have to drive,......and you don't have to keep getting out for all the gates.

[hunter63]

If I'm out in the woods with someone I usually let them go first. keeps me from getting covered in spiderwebs.

Real good one!

I would like to add to this,
Carry a stick on the front rack of a 4 wheeler to knock down the spider webs.
And don't ride with your SIL, on a Gator, if he's afraid of spiders, and bails out on you, when he's driving.

[BENESSE]

Beauty fades, dumb's forever.

[Rick]

No one can make you mad. You can only allow yourself to become mad. They are your emotions. Take responsibility for them.

[Ted]

MJ, "don't marry for looks"....You folks remember the song "If you wanna be happy for the rest of your life, never make a pretty woman your wife, from my personal point of view, get an ugly girl to marry you!".... "saw your wife the other day,... man, is she UUUUGLYYYY! Yeah, she sure is ugly, but she sure can cook baby!"

[Ken]

MJ, "don't marry for looks"....You folks remember the song "If you wanna be happy for the rest of your life, never make a pretty woman your wife, from my personal point of view, get an ugly girl to marry you!".... "saw your wife the other day,... man, is she UUUUGLYYYY! Yeah, she sure is ugly, but she sure can cook baby!"

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TPGwUPycOMc

[2dumb2kwit]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TPGwUPycOMc

What the heck, was that all about.
I started feeling like I should be stoned! LOL

He it is Ted. (I love this song!)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Qh9ZZgDqzAg

[huntermj]

Ya but she was one hot rock and roll girl!
And at the time (dating ) was my hobby
Live and learn.

Like, when getting out of a hammock you MUST put your feet on the ground before pushing yourself out of the hammock!
Those things can body slam a person like hulk hogan

[SARKY]

When you need to drop trow and drop one while on snowshoes, make sure you've missed the snowshoes or that smell will follow you around all day.

[hunter63]

When you need to drop trow and drop one while on snowshoes, make sure you've missed the snowshoes or that smell will follow you around all day.

And make sure the hood of your parka is out of the way.......it will follow you around as long as you own it.

[hunter63]

"If you can remember the 60's you probably weren't really there."

Yo, Ken, thanks for the flashback.......The theme song from "Apocalypse Now", This is the end, by the Doors, with the choppers in the back ground, is still one of my favorite songs
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1b26BD5KjH0

[LowKey]

In an argument with a woman just apologize and (hopefully) move on. Even if you know you're right.

Oh, and don't whizz on an electric fence.

Man, I remember when that movie came out Hunter. Played that track on the album into the ground. That and the Flight of the Valkeries.