Deep Thoughts

[hunter63]

OK guys, lets see what you got............

1)
I disagree with Kay Jewelers, I would bet on any given Friday or Saturday night more kisses begin with Miller Lite than Kay.


From e-mail recieved today.

[trax]

If people who do quizzes are quizzical, what are people who take tests?

[Ken]

If people who do quizzes are quizzical, what are people who take tests?

Whatever they call 'em, I'll bet ya' they have some interesting parties.
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[trax]

Now that right there is funny and scary at the same time.

[2dumb2kwit]

If vegetarians eat only vegetables....what do humanitarians eat?

[klkak]

What if cat was spelled D O G?

[crashdive123]

What good is having your cake if you are not going to eat it?

[Ken]

Why isn't phonetic spelled the way it sounds?

Why are there interstate highways in Hawaii?

Why are there flotation devices under plane seats instead of parachutes?

Why are cigarettes sold in gas stations when smoking is prohibited there?

Why do fat chance and slim chance mean the same thing?

If you can't drink and drive, why do you need a driver's license to buy liquor, and why do bars have parking lots?

Do you need a silencer if you are going to shoot a mime?

Have you ever imagined a world with no hypothetical situations?

How does the guy who drives the snowplow get to work in the mornings?

If 7-11 is open 24 hours a day, 365 days a year, why are there locks on the doors?

If a cow laughed real hard, would milk come out her nose?

If nothing ever sticks to TEFLON, how do they make TEFLON stick to the pan?

If you tied buttered toast to the back of a cat and dropped it from a height, what would happen?

If you're in a vehicle going the speed of light, what happens when you turn on the headlights?

You know how most packages say "Open here". What is the protocol if the package says, "Open somewhere else"?

Why do they put Braille dots on the keypad of the drive-up ATM?

Why do we drive on parkways and park on driveways?

Why isn't "palindrome" spelled the same way backwards?

Why is it that when you transport something by car, it's called a shipment, but when you transport something by ship, it's called cargo?

You know that little indestructible black box that is used on planes, why can't they make the whole plane out of the same substance?

Why is it that when you're driving and looking for an address, you turn down the volume on the radio?

If you have your finger touching the rearview mirror that says -- "objects in mirror are closer than they appear", how can that be possible?

Why is it so hard to remember how to spell MNEMONIC?

If someone invented instant water, what would they mix it with?

Why is it called a TV "set" when you only get one?

Why does your nose run and your feet smell?

Why does an alarm clock "go off" when it begins ringing?

If pro is the opposite of con, is progress the opposite of congress?

Why does "cleave" mean both split apart and stick together?

Why is it, whether you sit up or sit down, the result is the same?

Why is it called a "building" when it is already built?

Why do they call them "apartments" when they are all stuck together?

Why is there an expiration date on SOUR cream?

If you keep trying to prove Murphy's Law, will something keep going wrong?

Why does flammable and inflammable mean the same thing?

How can someone "draw a blank"?

Shouldn't there be a shorter word for "monosyllabic"?

Why is the word "abbreviate" so long?

Why did kamikaze pilots wear helmets?

What is another word for "thesaurus"?

http://www.ahajokes.com/funny_thoughts.html

[Ken]

What does Geronimo say when he jumps out of a plane?

http://www.wilderness-survival.net/f...ber.php?u=2491

[2dumb2kwit]

If you're in a vehicle going the speed of light, what happens when you turn on the headlights?

"Time", for those in the car, would slow down.

[2dumb2kwit]

What if cat was spelled D O G?

Then not as many people would call them pu.....never mind.

[Old GI]

What does Geronimo say when he jumps out of a plane?

http://www.wilderness-survival.net/f...ber.php?u=2491

To quote Gunther Toody - "ooooh! ooooh! ooooh! .... I know, I know!!!" True story, I knew a paratrooper/sport jumper named Geronimo (yeh, he got kidded, a lot) and he said "ahhhwwww, sh ..............!" a lot.

PS For you younger crowd, a clue on Patrolman Toody: Car 54, Where Are You?

[crashdive123]

When you mix flour and water, you make glue. If you add sugar, you make cake. Where did the glue go?

[Ken]

To quote Gunther Toody - PS For you younger crowd, a clue on Patrolman Toody: Car 54, Where Are You?

My hero!

[klkak]

If someone invented instant water, what would they mix it with?

Here you go.

[Ken]

When you mix flour and water, you make glue. If you add sugar, you make cake. Where did the glue go?

It probably got moved to "The Official 2D2K VS Ken Thread."

[2dumb2kwit]

It probably got moved to "The Official 2D2K VS Ken Thread."

Now that's funny!!!

[Ken]

Now that's funny!!!

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[hunter63]

I think part of a best friend's job should be to immediately clear your computer history if you die.

Nothing sucks more than that moment during an argument when you realize you're wrong.

I totally take back all those times I didn't want to nap when I was younger.

There is great need for a sarcasm font.

How the hell are you supposed to fold a fitted sheet?

Was learning cursive really necessary?

Map Quest really needs to start their directions on #5. I'm pretty sure I know how to get out of my neighborhood.

Obituaries would be a lot more interesting if they told you how the person died

[Ken]

There is great need for a sarcasm font.

http://www.glennmcanally.com/sarcastic/installation.htm