Joke of the day.

**Rick** · 07-29-2009, 04:07 PM

I'll get back to you. I'm placing the post under different types of light at the moment to see if I can determine what the original post beneath the ummmm is. If that doesn't work, I'll try Crazy Glue.

Your Minister of Science at work...........

**2dumb2kwit** · 07-29-2009, 04:14 PM

REDNECK,...... I was gonna say Redneck!

Yeah, that's it!!!

**Ken** · 07-29-2009, 04:17 PM

Originally Posted by 2dumb2kwit

REDNECK,...... I was gonna say Redneck!

Yeah, that's it!!!

First TREASON and now PERJURY.

**Rick** · 07-29-2009, 04:22 PM

I smell sedition.

**2dumb2kwit** · 07-29-2009, 04:29 PM

Originally Posted by Ken

First TREASON and now PERJURY.

Innocent, until proven guilty!

(And I know a good lawyer!)

**Rick** · 07-29-2009, 04:30 PM

Well....you know a lawyer....

**2dumb2kwit** · 07-29-2009, 04:40 PM

Originally Posted by Rick

Well....you know a lawyer....

YEAH! And I don't think he ever sleeps! And he'll soon be working to protect my interest!

Ken, this is on the way, to you.

**Rick** · 07-29-2009, 04:41 PM

Whoa! QC has a tough job! Good luck with that one.

**2dumb2kwit** · 07-29-2009, 04:52 PM

Originally Posted by Rick

Whoa! QC has a tough job! Good luck with that one.

Ain't that what you send to a lawyer, to get him to help you??? LOL

**Ken** · 07-29-2009, 05:34 PM

Originally Posted by 2dumb2kwit

Ain't that what you send to a lawyer, to get him to help you??? LOL

No. This is what you send: Guests can not see images in the messages. Please register in the forum.

**Ken** · 07-29-2009, 07:36 PM

If you hear a loud noise in the sky, it isn't thunder, it's Elvis beating the sh!t out of Michael Jackson for marrying his daughter.

**welderguy** · 07-29-2009, 10:22 PM

All I could do was LAUGH.

**Sarge47** · 07-29-2009, 11:04 PM

Originally Posted by welderguy

All I could do was LAUGH.

The winner of this week's "Numpty of the Week!" Yes Mr. Grocer, please make me some ground beef so no animals will be harmed! Yes, myparents did have asome kids who lived, my sister.

**Rick** · 07-30-2009, 11:38 AM

I was in the pub yesterday when I suddenly realized I desperately needed to fart. The music was really, really loud, so I timed my farts with the beat.

After a couple of songs, I started to feel better. I finished my pint and noticed that everybody was staring at me.

Then I suddenly remembered that I was listening to my iPod.

**crashdive123** · 07-30-2009, 07:54 PM

Nice.........

**Ken** · 07-30-2009, 07:56 PM

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FWBUl7oT9sA

**Pal334** · 07-30-2009, 08:03 PM

Originally Posted by Ken

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FWBUl7oT9sA

I will use that line next time I deal with the pain in the a** bean counters. They are such tight a**es it may make them faint

**2dumb2kwit** · 07-31-2009, 03:27 PM

This is credited to an episode of Cheers in which Cliff explains to Norm the 'Buffalo Theory':

"Well you see, Norm, it's like this... A herd of buffalo can only move as fast as the slowest buffalo and when the herd is hunted, it is the slowest and weakest ones at the back that are killed first. This natural selection is good for the herd as a whole, because the general speed and health of the whole group keeps improving by the regular killing of the weakest members. In much the same way, the human brain can only operate as fast as the slowest brain cells. Now, as we know, excessive drinking of alcohol kills brain cells. But naturally, it attacks the slowest and weakest brain cells first. In this way, regular consumption of beer eliminates the weaker brain cells, making the brain a faster and more efficient machine. And that, Norm, is why you always feel smarter after a few beers."

**Pal334** · 07-31-2009, 04:26 PM

Originally Posted by 2dumb2kwit

This is credited to an episode of Cheers in which Cliff explains to Norm the 'Buffalo Theory':

"Well you see, Norm, it's like this... A herd of buffalo can only move as fast as the slowest buffalo and when the herd is hunted, it is the slowest and weakest ones at the back that are killed first. This natural selection is good for the herd as a whole, because the general speed and health of the whole group keeps improving by the regular killing of the weakest members. In much the same way, the human brain can only operate as fast as the slowest brain cells. Now, as we know, excessive drinking of alcohol kills brain cells. But naturally, it attacks the slowest and weakest brain cells first. In this way, regular consumption of beer eliminates the weaker brain cells, making the brain a faster and more efficient machine. And that, Norm, is why you always feel smarter after a few beers."

Well,, thank you, that explains some of my brilliant decisions in my misspent youth