Joke of the day.

The Lone Ranger



The Lone Ranger and Tonto go camping in the desert. After they get their tent all set up, both men fall sound asleep.

Some hours later, Tonto wakes the Lone Ranger and says, 'Kemo Sabe, look towards sky. What you see? '

The Lone Ranger replies, 'I see millions of stars.'


'What that tell you?' asked Tonto.

The Lone Ranger ponders for a minute and then says, 'Astronomically speaking, it tells me there are millions of galaxies and potentially billions of planets.
Astrologically, it tells me that Saturn is in Leo. Timewise, it appears to be approximately a quarter past three in the morning.
Theologically, the Lord is all-powerful, and we are small and insignificant.
Meteorologically, it seems we will have a beautiful day tomorrow. What's it tell you, Tonto?'



'You dumber than buffalo ****. It means someone stole the tent.'

LOL GOOD ONE :clap::clap::clap:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XUosUk6X9gE

Once upon a time, a Prince asked a beautiful Princess....
'Will you marry me?'

The Princess said, ‘NO!!!'



And the Prince lived happily ever after and rode motorcycles and went fishing and hunting and played golf and drank beer and scotch and had tons of money in the bank and left the toilet seat up and farted whenever he wanted.

The End

found this.
Girls just dont understand

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My Daughter stuck these little jell filled flower thingies to the inside of my
toilet bowl
after 3 days I went and told her that
I won
I got em all down
she said what!!!
I said I been aiming at em ever since she put em in there and she said
they were to freshen the toilet bowl and they were not for aiming at
so she put more in
and I got em down in 3 more days
then she got mad
I tried to tell her that you cant put something in a man's bowl and not expect him to aim at em
Girls just dont understand

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by oly

found this.
Girls just dont understand

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

My Daughter stuck these little jell filled flower thingies to the inside of my
toilet bowl
after 3 days I went and told her that
I won
I got em all down
she said what!!!
I said I been aiming at em ever since she put em in there and she said
they were to freshen the toilet bowl and they were not for aiming at
so she put more in
and I got em down in 3 more days
then she got mad
I tried to tell her that you cant put something in a man's bowl and not expect him to aim at em
Girls just dont understand

---

Chect it out:
http://www.toiletmarksman.com/toilet_fly.php

An old man, Mr. Wallace, was living in a nursing home.

One day he appeared to be very sad and depressed. Nurse Tracy asked him if there was anything wrong.

"Yes, Nurse Tracy" said Mr. Wallace.

"My Private Part died today, and I am very sad."

Knowing her patients were a little forgetful and sometimes a little crazy, she replied, "Oh, I'm so sorry, Mr. Wallace. Please accept my condolences."

The following day, Mr. Wallace was walking down the hall with his Private Part hanging out of his pajamas. He met Nurse Tracy. "Mr. Wallace," she said, "You shouldn't be walking down the hall like that.

Please put your Private Part back inside your pajamas."

"But, Nurse Tracy I can't," replied Mr. Wallace.

"I told you yesterday that my Private Part died.

"Yes," said Nurse Tracy, "you did tell me that, but why is it hanging out of your pajamas?"

"Well," he replied, "Today is the viewing."

The Bus Ride

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Two bowling teams, one of all Blondes and one of all Brunettes, charter a double-Deckerbus for a weekend
trip to Louisiana.
The Brunette team rode on the bottom of the bus, and
the Blonde team rode on the top level.

The Brunette team down below really whooped it up,
having a great time, when one of them realized she
hadn't heard anything from the Blondes upstairs. She
decided to go up and investigate.

When the Brunette reached the top, she found all the
Blondes in fear, staring straight ahead at the road,
clutching the seats in front of them with white knuckles.
The brunette asked, 'What the heck's going on up here?
We're having a great time downstairs!'

One of the Blondes looked up at her, swallowed hard
and whispered...
'YEAH, BUT YOU'VE GOT A DRIVER!!'

:clap::clap::clap::clap::clap:

My name is Goober Snicklelips.

From the book, "Captain Underpants And the Perilous Plot of Professor Poopypants", by Dave Pilkey, in which the evil Professor forces everyone to assume new names...

1. Use the third letter of your first name to determine your New first name:

a = snickle
b = doombah
c = goober
d = cheesey
e = crusty
f = greasy
g = dumbo
h = farcus
i = dorky
j = doofus
k = funky
l = boobie
m = sleezy
n = sloopy
o = fluffy
p = stinky
q = slimy
r = dorfus
s = snooty
t = tootsie
u = dipsy
v = sneezy
w = liver
x = skippy
y = dinky
z = zippy

2. Use the second letter of your last name to determine the first half of your new last name:

a = dippin
b = feather
c = batty
d = burger
e = chicken
f = barffy
g = lizard
h = waffle
i = farkle
j = monkey
k = flippin
l = fricken
m = bubble
n = rhino
o = potty
p = hamster
q = buckle
r = gizzard
s = lickin
t = snickle
u = chuckle
v = pickle
w = hubble
x = dingle
y = gorilla
z = girdle

3. Use the third letter of your last name to determine the second half of your new last name:

a = butt
b = boob
c = face
d = nose
e = hump
f = breath
g = pants
h = shorts
i = lips
j = honker
k = head
l = tush
m = chunks
n = dunkin
o = brains
p = biscuits
q = toes
r = doodle
s = fanny
t = sniffer
u = sprinkles
v = frack
w = squirt
x = humperdinck
y = hiney
z = juice

So, for example, Barack Obama's new name would be Dorfus Featherbutt and George W. Bush's new name is: Fluffy Chucklefanny. That pretty much sums it up doesn't it?

Justin Case,


"Snooty DippinFanny" :blushing:

I am now to be know as Snooty ChickenSniffer the :ladysman:

You quote me then get a jab into 2d.Smooth:cool2:

Fracas Pottybrains.....Hey!......That's pretty accurate!
DW, Mrs Snickel Pottybrains
That was fun. like it.

Hi - I'm Sneezy Battyshorts. I'd like to introduce you to my wife, Dipsy Battyshorts.

Some Really Funny pics, http://www.tvally.com/showthread.php?t=11806

Thought for the day:

Women are Angels
And when someone breaks their wings,
They simply continue to fly
.........on a broomstick.
They are flexible like that.

ooohhhh SNAP !

Men are like outhouse's...
always taken or full of $hit.

My new name is...... Boobie Pottytush.....:blushing::blushing::blushing:

LOL on the last two posts. !!!!!

Or both, Benesse.