The child I once were? I still am that child in adult form. But, he would be happy, dissapointed, surprised, grateful, mad and accepting among other things.
Happy that I survived, school, ignorant and foolish teachers, law, corrupt and self righteous pigs, medical bills, and the corrupt and poorly managed system that breeds them, and every other societal woe that I can't recall off hand. Happy that I maintained the thought process, reasoning, that so many of us throw away as we become "adults". Happy that I managed to get by thus far without lying to myself.
Dissapointed that I have changed so much, to conform to society, giving up freedoms I hold so dear. Giving up beliefs and certain aspects of american pride. Dissapointed that the world is moving in the direction it is and I have no real control over it....or very little at best.
Surprised that I am still alive and not in prison. Surprised that the "adult" world is so much different than the naive world of the child. Surprised that people as a society are self destructive by nature or design. Surprised that we have not evolved enough to realize the mistakes of past societies and learn from them. Surprised that with all the knowledge and modern technological advances we have and warning signs we are so blind to the reality this society beholds us. Surprised that our "knowledge" hasn't helped us realize that wisdom is a far more important trait to have.
Grateful that I had enough common sense to accept the things I cannot change, no I'm not an AA person but the sentence fits. Grateful that with so much evil in the world there is still good if you look real hard. Grateful that eventhough americans have willfully, and unwillfullly, given up many freedoms that there are still some freedoms available to us that other nations have not.
Mad that I have or at least had more cool toys than my childself could have ever imagined. Heck, when I was growing up a button on a string was a neat toy, but lil green army men was neater. Mad that I was able to become so tainted by all the bad apples of this world. Mad that the world couldn't be the way I thought it was when I was a naive lil kid.
Accepting all the things that have affected and changed me for better or worse. Realizing that, all said and done, I was able to keep afloat and take care of myself and family without resorting to evil like so many do these days. And bottom line that's what it's all about.
Actually, I have a hard time with the word adult, because so many adults are very childish in their actions these days. Talking like a kid and making foolish jokes and pranks is one thing, but actions are what I judge a person by. I don't see too many adults walkin around these days. Saying adult things is one thing, living them is another altogether. I see lots of "adults" behaving like spoiled kids. Maybe if more "adults" behaved like adults the world would be a better place. Then again, maybe if more adults behaved like naive lil kids the world would be a better place.
Maybe there are no more naive lil kids left in this world. Maybe they've all been spoiled by Television and such.
