Poopin' in the woods.

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Originally Posted by wareagle69

50 what sarge 50 pieces of crap paper 50 seconds of squattn 50 disposable razors?

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....and a partridge in a pear tree...:D

I havent laughed so hard in many years.!! Thanks for the chuckles.:rolleyes::p:D

If we haven't run you off yet...Welcome to the Wolf Pack; they're a frisky bunch!

See what you stepped into Otay???

ok guys... best advice ill probably ever give you. when youre out in the woods and stuff... to remain a clean bottom DO NOT DRINK ANYWHERE NEAR THE TIME YOU EAT and evaporate MOST of the water from your food. if you only eat pretty dry foods and you never have a drink with your food it will come out as turds instead of a sticky mess you wont even need to wipe and youll never get rashes.

Now look what we all went and did, we ran off Otay....maybe. Hmmm, did anyone ever think to tell him about the Wolf Pack? You're all a bunch of animals!
Oh well, if he comes back then he's a wolf for sure.

in regard to the hair situation... DINGLE BERRIES ANYONE?!

He put the :D icon on the thread. I think he's playing with us a little bit with a straight face. He does pose some interesting questions though. Should I stock up on baby wipes and disposable razors too, now?

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Originally Posted by Otay

Is that true? If so anyone got a list of foods that will leave your evacuations more solid? I always drink when I eat and sometimes I have what I call the "molassess sh**'s", or sometimes I call them the "Smear'noffs".

Anyway, more solid bowels sounds good to me.

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Goddammit, now I'll never be able to drink a Smirnoff without thinking of your juicy smudgescicles.

He's a "wolf" for sure.

i always have used a deadfall and some leaves, just make sure you have enough of them nearby. nothing like finding out you arent clean enough and the nearest leaves are 20 feet away:p

A bear and a rabbit are taking a dump in the woods.

The bear asks the rabbit "hey rabbit, you have problems with poop sticking to your hair?"

The rabbit responds "why no bear, I don't have a problem with poop sticking to my hair."

So the bear picks up the rabbit and wipes his as s.

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Originally Posted by explodingearth

ok guys... best advice ill probably ever give you. when youre out in the woods and stuff... to remain a clean bottom DO NOT DRINK ANYWHERE NEAR THE TIME YOU EAT and evaporate MOST of the water from your food. if you only eat pretty dry foods and you never have a drink with your food it will come out as turds instead of a sticky mess you wont even need to wipe and youll never get rashes.

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Don’t dehydrate yourself, even if its just a little bit it’s still unhealthy in the long run.

yea its true i do it all the time. dehydration isnt involved just dont drink while eating or afterwards unless you have to. drink 30 minutes to an hour before you eat and dont eat till an hour or so after or maybe a little more. also the foods that make it more solid as far as i know are SOLUABLE fibers. meaning the DIGESTABLE fibers. an example is peanuts youll havfe to research that more. the non digestable fiber will just make you **** allover.

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Originally Posted by mitch.chesney

Goddammit, now I'll never be able to drink a Smirnoff without thinking of your juicy smudgescicles.

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Now he won't save the "smudgescicles" for christmas decorations... lol... lol...
Man do we ever hit some topics, guess that's why I love this forum so much. And maybe it's not the questions you ask we are afraid to talk about... but just maybe we keep our bowel movements to ourselves... lol... except for you, and that little kiddies is more info on Otay than I want. Sarge, he's gotta be wolf cause those ain't tiger stripes in his tighty white'ies. And for your info I never had a problem with stink do there or getting the job I need done :D :D But hey matbe its not the smell she running... lol... lol... might be there ain't no tracks for the little guy... :D

If you're going out for the long term and you have have a lake or river nearby, I recommend bringing a handkerchief or bandanna in a ziplock bag. You can wipe with them, wash them out, and pack them up. Reusable too, yes? They aren't call Doo Rags for nothing.

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Originally Posted by http://www.poopreport.com/Travel/Content/North/north.html

Well, the first wilderness dump proved to be one of the trickiest of my life. It started out as a warm, firm mud-snake creeping from my backside. After a half-foot or so, the snake lost its form and the pace quickened, ending in a fizzing, shooting burst of spurting liquid. Keeping the mess directed into the pit required a quick, fast moonwalk-sort of maneuver away from the bowl. While my trajectory was fairly accurate and I avoided soiling my drawers, I did manage to mess up both the back and front of the rim. (Note: subsequent wilderness dumps were primarily a loose, homogeneous material with the consistency of watery mud, allowing for improved aim.)

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^ ew? lol? :s

why he wouldn't want to go squat in the woods, cuz by the time he's done the only thing left for the search party to find would be his shoes.

ahhhh self love never hurt anyone Otay take it somewhere else.

To me, there is nothing sweeter than being in the middle of no-where, dropping your pants, placing your gun to the side of you and releasing last nights meal (or it could be a snack). It doesn't get any more American than that! :)

You could wipe your a$$ the same way the Iraqi's do it. A friend of mine who recently came back from a tour in Iraq, said that it was common knowledge over in Iraq that you don't shake anybody's right hand. If you notice on the news footage and other footage, nobody in Iraq shakes hands. Why, you ask? Well, because at a young age Iraqi's are taught to wipe their a$$es with their right hands. Does someone else have experience with this?

Also, I hope it never comes to this, but can you eat your own feces if your starving to death? I imagine that your feces has no nutritional value, since your upper & lower intestine has already used it up, but I was just wondering. Does anybody know?

HAPPY HALLOWEEN ALL YOU JACK-O-LANTERNS

Mr.Pickles, facts get the facts straight, it's the left hand that is used to wipe with.
No boy scouts there right Sarge:D

Eating feces?? what a load of crap!! Bear Grylls all over again

Eating your own feces to survive?????

1. If you gone without eating for so long that you are even considering this, I doubt very seriously if you could produce any. If you can and are still considering it.......well I guess you're a sick and desperate basTURD.

2. If it comes to that, I will calmly make amends with my maker.....cause I'm gonna starve to death.