Sadly, Sarge isn't with us any longer but feel free to list any items you wish.
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Sadly, Sarge isn't with us any longer but feel free to list any items you wish.
Reminds me of the MRE Dinner Date:Quote:
Originally Posted by Sarge47
I had a date the other night at my place. On the phone the day before, the girl asked me to "Cook her something she's never had before" for dinner. After many minutes of scratching my head over what to make, I finally settled on something she has DEFINITELY never eaten. I got out my trusty case of MRE's. Meal, Ready-to-Eat.
Field rations that when eaten in their entirety contain 3000+ calories Here's what I made:
I took three of the Ham Slices out of their plastic packets, took out three of the Pork Chops, three packets of Chicken-a-la-King and eight packets of dehydrated butter noodles and some dehydrated/rehydrated rice.
I cooked the Ham Slices and Pork Chops in one pan, sauted in shaved garlic and olive oil.
In another pot, I blended the Chicken a-la-king, noodles and rice together to make a sort of mush that looked suspiciously like succotash. I added some spices and blended everything together in a glass pan that I then cooked in the oven for about 35 minutes at 450 degrees.
When I took it out, it looked like, well, ham slices, pork chops and a bed of yellow poop. I covered the tops of the meat in the MRE cheese (kinda like Velveeta) and added some green sprinkly things from one of my spice cans (hey, if it's got green sprinkly things on it, it looks fancy right?)
For dessert, I took four MRE Pound Cakes, mashed 'em up, added five packets of cocoa powder, powdered coffee cream and some water. I heated it up and stirred it until it looked like a sort of chunky gelatinous organism and I sprinkled powdered sugar on top of it.
For alcoholic drinks, I took the rest of my bottle of Military Special Vodka (yes, they DO make a type of liquor named "Military Special" -- it sells for $4.35 per fifth) and mixed in four packets of "Electrolytes - 1 each - Cherry flavored" (I swear, the packet says that). It looked like an eerie kool-aid with sparkles in it (that was the electrolytes I guess... could've been leftover sand from Egypt).
I lit two candles, put a vase of wildflowers in the middle and set the table with my best set of Ralph Lauren Academy-series China (that stuff is damned EXPENSIVE... my set of 8 place settings cost me over $600) and put the alcoholic drink in a crystal wine decanter.
She came over and I had some appetizers already made, of MRE spaghetti-with-meatballs, set in small cups. She saw the dinner, saw the food and said "This looks INCREDIBLE!!!"
We dug in and she was loving the food. Throughout the meal, she kept asking me how long it took me to make it and kept remarking that I obviously knew a thing or two about cooking fine meals. She kind of balked at the makeshift "wine" I had set out, but after she tried it I guess she liked it because she drank four glasses during dinner.
At the end of the main course, when I served the dessert, she squealed with delight at the "Chocolate mousse" I had made. Huh? Chocolate what? Okay... yeah... its Chocolate Moose. Took me HOURS to make... yup.
Later on, as we were watching a movie, she excused herself to use my restroom. While she was in there, I heard her say softly to herself "uh oh" and a resounding but petite poot punctuated her utterance of dismay.
Let the games begin.
She sprayed about half a can of air freshener (Air Freshener, 1 each, Orange scent. Yup. The Army even makes smellgood) and returned to the couch, this time with an obvious pained look.
After 10 more minutes she excused herself again and retreated to the bathroom for the second time. I could hear her say "What the hell is WRONG with me???," as she again send flatulent shockwaves into the porcelain bowl. This time, they sounded kinda wet and I heard the toilet paper roll being employed and again, LOTS more air freshener.
Back to the couch. She smiles meekly as she decides to sit on the chair instead of next to me. She sits on my chair, knees pulled up to her chest, kind of rocking back and forth slightly. Suddenly, without a word, she ROCKETED up and FLEW to the bathroom, slammed the door, and didn't come out for 30 minutes.
I turned the movie up because I didn't want her to hear me laughing so hard that tears were streaming down my cheeks.
She came out with a slightly gray pallor to her face and said "I am SOOOOOO sorry. I have NO idea what is wrong with me. I am so embarrassed, I can't believe I keep running to your bathroom!!" I gave her an Imodium AD and she finally settled down and relaxed.
Later on, she asked me again what I had made for dinner, because she had enjoyed it so much. I calmly took her into the kitchen and showed her all the used MRE bags and packets in the trash can.
After explaining to her that she had eaten roughly 9,000 calories of "Army food" she turned stark white, looked at me incredulously and said "I ate 9,000 calories of dehydrated food that was made 3 years ago?" After I concurred, she grabbed her coat and key, and took off without a word.
She called me yesterday. Seems she couldn't go for 3 days and when she finally did, the smell was so bad, her roommate could smell it from down the hall. She also told me she had been working out nonstop to combat the high caloric intake and that she never wanted me to cook dinner for her again, unless she was PERSONALLY there to inspect the food beforehand.
It was a fun date. She laughed about it eventually and said that that was the first time she'd ever crapped in a guy's house on a date. She'd been so upset by it she was in tears in the bathroom while I had been in tears on the couch.
That joke has been on line for over 16 years. If you're going to copy and paste somebody else's words you should give attribution as it keeps the forum out of hot water over plagiarism charges.
Why not just take a minute and put in the credits for it instead on taking a moment to jump on a member because they made a mistake.
Don't worry though, you won't have to do that to my posts anymore.
I think I finally see why this forum has more crickets than active members..
Must be some badazz crickets is all I can figure....
Alan
This is a public forum and as such may fall under the scrutiny of others with regards to plagiarism. You say it was a mistake - fair enough, but you had to copy and paste it from somewhere. It is not the job of the moderators here to research and give accredidation to your writings. That is on you.Quote:
Originally Posted by kl0an
Just so that you know (because we all know you will be back to look at this) your banning was because of deleting all of your past posts. It disrupts the flow of any forum when that happens, so I stopped it from continuing --- and I will restore your past posts when I have time.
One last thing. This is a forum, not an airport. No need to announce your departure. Just leave, go elsewhere and be happy.
I am reading this thread page by page and you guys are going to the next items way way too prematurely.
I am only going to touch base on aonly a few of the many many things that were not mentioned with regard to GARBAGE BAGS
1st aid: tourniquet, cold compress (filled with stream water), strips of it combined with branches and duct tape to make a splint, a sling for your arm , eye patch, preventative 1st aid: to be used to waterproof your shoes or socks to prevent Trench Foot
Colored bags: orange or red can be used to make a hot air balloon for signaling for rescue, putting strips on path to show where u have been used as markers, clear bags can be filled with water for SODIS solar "water" disinfection and drinkable within 6 hours.
Weapons for gathering food: used to make a Bolo, to make a Mace, filled with some small rocks or sand to make a hand held weighted weapon with 1-2 foot reach, used to make snares
Black garbage bags when filled with water and left in the sun turns it into a solar water heater, for a nice warm shower.
Can be used instead of an innertube for a bicycle tire, can be used to seal up a car tire that has a nail stuck in it, pushing the bag like you would a tire hole plug.
you literally can list pages and pages of other uses for all these items if you think outside of the box. Bandanas not only can be used to filter water, but it can be used as a siphon. Water in a stump you want to collect, twist the bandana to look like a rope, stick one end into the stump filled with water the other end into your canteen and when you come back the wicking nature of the bandana will draw all the water from the stump into the canteen. This also works with fuel and with rope (non synthetic)
Use the Bandana to make charred cloth. Wet the bandana to use as a bandage for burned victims, strips of it to make shoe laces or for latching gear. As an eye patch. A wet bandana strengthens the fibers allowing you to use it with a branch, to bend the bars of a metal gate.
1. Line sides of wound so you don't have to sew yourself up https://i.pinimg.com/originals/1c/1f...aa0ea901f4.jpg
Ontop of this there are obvioustly tons of medical uses like making splints, slings, ghetto mole skin for blisters, and bandages
2. Arrow Fletching
3. Patching Tarps
4. Making Cord
5. Marking Trails
6. Bright Duct Tape can be used to signal for rescue
7. I saw someone make a canoe with duct tape once
8. You can use it to hold tinder together while starting a fire
9. Possibly make a snare???
10. I mean worse case scenerio you could patch some ducts too
-nail clippers
-floss
-steel wool
-tarpaulin
-screwdriver
-alcohol
-hydrogen peroxide
-honey
What are the multiple uses of hydrogen peroxide?Quote:
Originally Posted by Alanaana
Hydrogen peroxide will degrade in light (why its always sold in a brown opaque bottle) to be water.Quote:
Originally Posted by Winter
It can be used to induce vomiting.
Mouth wash (I use it for this and have lots of compliments on my teeth)
I use it in our water system quite a bit. After bleaching the well and running it through the pipes, hydrogen peroxide can help neutralize the bleach. I also pour it into the water heater when replacing the anode rod to kill any sulfur-reducing bacteria.
And of course wound care.
I’m not saying it’s the best at those things I posted, but it works in a pinch. There are better alternatives in some cases.
How much do you use in the water heater... I am in a battle to the death with SRB...
Alan
Thanks for the info.Quote:
Originally Posted by RangerXanatos
it doesn't take much really. I take the anode off and drain a little bit from the bottom and then pour some in. Even if you pour in a whole bottle it shouldn't hurt anything, just be overkill.Quote:
Originally Posted by Alan R McDaniel Jr
I also have two in-line water filters under the house. When I change the filters, I fill the canisters with hydrogen peroxide and then run the hot water first to try to make sure some goes in the water heater.
If you haven't replaced it before, the anode rod can be a bugger to remove the first time. All of them take a 1 1/16" socket. Get a deep impact socket and at least a breaker bar. I had to have an addition pipe for even more leverage. I also had to have my brother hold the water heater to keep it from turning. The last time, I was able to do it by myself and without the additional pipe. The last time, I used an aluminum anode rod that come in links. Just measure it to the previous rod and cut off any excess. Changing the rod itself should help with the SRB.
My plumber removed the anode rod... didn't help. I need to do the filter thing though... don't know that I'll fill it up though. The filter holds at least a gallon and a half of water. My filter is upstream of my softener... Will that negate the sanitizing effects?
Alan
From what I’ve read, it shouldn’t hurt it. In fact, I read that it’s recommended for cleaning your system to remove any types of buildup and also to disinfect.
Cleaning Cuts,Quote:
Originally Posted by Winter
Earwax removal
Mouth: Swollen Gums. Canker Sores. Whiten Teeth (esp w/ baking soda 50/50)
Face: Acne.
Disinfectant for surfaces, wounds, knives, cooking area.
to induce vomiting
Hair dye, clothing
Most used multi-tool though that I own is my SAK SwissChampAttachment 12138
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Great list! You could add zip ties, aluminum foil, and carabiners—those things are crazy versatile too.
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