ZOMBIE GRIZZLY BEARS.....What is the best firearm to stop them..??? [Archive]

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Sourdough

04-27-2009, 09:53 AM

Sgt.Draino has opened a whole new can of worms. He and I will split the money from the block buster movie: "Night of the KILLER Zombie GRIZZLY".

So Crash, we will need that bear photo of Bob Reeve and his NON-Zombie Brown Bear, so people have a idea what we are up against here.

So you are out on a week-end camping trip, and in the dark, dark, dark of night into camp walks four 12' tall ZOMBIE Brown Bears. Question: What is the firearm you will wish you had.

And NO you can not have the Mini-gun from the movie "Predator", sorry.

Good luck....you are going to need it. (All film rights reserved by: Sgt.Draino & Hopeak, a Limited Liability Company).

tacticalguy

04-27-2009, 07:53 PM

This gun! Die Zombie Bears!!!

sgtdraino

04-27-2009, 08:12 PM

So you are out on a week-end camping trip, and in the dark, dark, dark of night into camp walks four 12' tall ZOMBIE Brown Bears. Question: What is the firearm you will wish you had.

Hmmmm. Damn good question. A zombie bear would be slower than a regular bear (fast zombies are just Hollywood nonsense, not real), but it still might be tricky to score an effective head shot. Obviously bear spray is not going to work. Of course, a zombie bear is also not going to enrage like a living bear would, so wounding it probably wouldn't make it any more dangerous than it already is.

Hmm. I guess I would probably favor some sort of high powered rifle, with a laser sight installed on it for close quarters encounters. Perhaps something like a Springfield SOCOM II?

Rick

04-27-2009, 08:16 PM

I think you have a couple of options that might be available to you. Some are probably better than others but here goes.

1. Shame them. Talk about their mothers and how sad they would be to learn their kids were Zombie Bears. Bears have a really sensitive heart (teddy bears, am I right?) so you just might get through to them. You must be certain to keep backing up while talking. Always maintain a safe distance during the conversation.

2. Assuming these are run of the mill juvenile delinquent Zombie Bears you might not be able to get through to them. (not every bear is a teddy bear unfortunately) In that case, a good stout cricket bat. Zombie Bears move on the order of sloths. Pretty darn slow. You can easily out maneuver them and THWACK! up side the head.

3. One has to reason that bear skulls are on the order of armor plate so a cricket bat might not work. It did wonders for Shawn but then he was battling people zombies not Zombie Grizzlies. If there were the slightest threat of Zombie Bears then I'd have to take my survival chair camping with me.

http://www.artinliverpool.com/blogarch/throne-of-weapons.jpg

The would allow me to utilize the proper weapon against any threat.

4. If my survival chair failed. I'd have to resort to my top secret Zombie Bear shotgun. By the way, I'll need a bit of help with it.

http://media.techeblog.com/images/giantlarge_7.jpg

doug1980

04-27-2009, 08:18 PM

I choose a M1A1 Abrams tank....you never said no tanks. lol

Rick

04-27-2009, 08:23 PM

Ooooh. That might not be a good idea. Bears would just drag the tank off and wait for you to come out. Here is a pick of one the Army recently found after a regular grizzly buried it. They are pretty smart, too. You can see the bear marked it's priority. Good news for the crew. The bear ranked it a B2, which allowed the crew to escape before the bear returned. Zombie Bears would just wait.

http://i348.photobucket.com/albums/q348/safe_zone/Destroyed-M1-DM-SD-04-03261.jpg

crashdive123

04-27-2009, 08:26 PM

Looks like baiting the bear with the MRE kind of failed.

Rick

04-27-2009, 08:30 PM

The bear was so mad when he got back and found the crew gone that he kicked out one of the tail lights. They just have no shame.

Tank 0 Zombie Bear 4 (total number of crew)

chiye tanka

04-27-2009, 08:31 PM

Barrett .50cal and a butt load of claymores.
Oh yeah, and a flame thrower, Stihl chainsaw with 4' bar, um......., and bear spray.:m107::jango::tank::rambo::saberbattle:
I know, I got carried away.

Rick

04-27-2009, 08:32 PM

Checking size of claymores....Looking at butt in mirror.....checking size of claymores once more.

Okay, what he said.

chiye tanka

04-27-2009, 08:35 PM

Forgot C-4 and det-cord.:tongue_smilie:

erunkiswldrnssurvival

04-27-2009, 08:52 PM

.300 savage works good naughty bears.

Pal334

04-27-2009, 09:00 PM

Hmmmm. Damn good question. A zombie bear would be slower than a regular bear (fast zombies are just Hollywood nonsense, not real), but it still might be tricky to score an effective head shot. Obviously bear spray is not going to work. Of course, a zombie bear is also not going to enrage like a living bear would, so wounding it probably wouldn't make it any more dangerous than it already is.

Hmm. I guess I would probably favor some sort of high powered rifle, with a laser sight installed on it for close quarters encounters. Perhaps something like a Springfield SOCOM II?

I like the way you think. I like the SOCOM 16, just a bit more plain jane

Ole WV Coot

04-27-2009, 09:16 PM

Y'all didn't try one of those shine recipes by chance did you ? If you did you only need a small switch, glad I finally quit.

tacticalguy

04-27-2009, 09:38 PM

What i'm really thinking would probably be the Isralie Galil 7.62mm assult rifle and a Dragunov sniper rifle.

Yuma Kutsuu

04-29-2009, 10:29 AM

Zombie bears... I dunno... armor piercing rounds

Alpine_Sapper

04-29-2009, 10:51 AM

Barrett .50cal and a butt load of claymores.
Oh yeah, and a flame thrower, Stihl chainsaw with 4' bar, um......., and bear spray.:m107::jango::tank::rambo::saberbattle:
I know, I got carried away.

Yeah, the bear spray is SOOOOOOOO overkill.

For me, just give me a howitzer for distance attacks and a Walther PPK for CQC. Worked for Bond, right?

mountain mama

04-29-2009, 11:20 AM

You guys are simply incorrigible *sigh*

Rick

04-29-2009, 12:22 PM

Thank you!! We do try. But then, we've had lot's of practice. Wait! incorrigible, that's a good thing, right?

trax

04-29-2009, 02:06 PM

Thank you!! We do try. But then, we've had lot's of practice. Wait! incorrigible, that's a good thing, right?

Well yeah, it must be a good thing, I mean, I hope so, people been calling me that all my life.

Now, about the zombie bears (foolish interruptions), there have certainly been some good suggestions here. Shaming them, bear spray, small switch, those are all good I think. Of course, my personal solution is pretty much what I use on regular bears, hate to admit it. Always have a companion nearby who is lightweight enough for me to throw at the bears. I can't run that fast at my advanced age, but as has been pointed out--neither can zombie bears. That little distraction helps me effect my escape. It works every time ladies and gentlemen.

Rick

04-29-2009, 02:10 PM

Well, considering you're throwing the lightest folks at the bears, may I suggest the ladies and all gentle men are gone? Only the heavy weights dare stay around you now. That's one of the reasons I'm here.

chiye tanka

04-29-2009, 02:40 PM

Trax, you don't have to throw them, just out run them.:tongue_smilie:

Rick

04-29-2009, 02:52 PM

Or...out shuffle them. Or...start hanging out with Older geezers. You'll look younger and if Zombie Bears or Zombie Moose become a problem, presto, you just out shuffle them.

mountain mama

04-29-2009, 03:02 PM

*when in Rome* trax, I only see one problem with your plan...some of us are so tiny we wouldn't be enough to slow down a ZOMBIE GRIZZLY, as he wouldn't even need time to chew.

nell67

04-29-2009, 03:15 PM

Well yeah, it must be a good thing, I mean, I hope so, people been calling me that all my life.

Now, about the zombie bears (foolish interruptions), there have certainly been some good suggestions here. Shaming them, bear spray, small switch, those are all good I think. Of course, my personal solution is pretty much what I use on regular bears, hate to admit it. Always have a companion nearby who is lightweight enough for me to throw at the bears. I can't run that fast at my advanced age, but as has been pointed out--neither can zombie bears. That little distraction helps me effect my escape. It works every time ladies and gentlemen.

Honey,thanks for the info,if there is ever an outbreak of bear zombies,I will NOT be taking a hike into the woods with you......

chiye tanka

04-29-2009, 03:27 PM

Use the pepper spray for seasoning, that might get their attention.

oly

04-29-2009, 07:28 PM

During that warm fuzzy felling from #1 and #2 I don't start shacking, I'm hoping my .357 will work.

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01-26-2026, 12:18 AM

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yellowcab

04-30-2026, 01:38 PM

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yellowcab

04-30-2026, 01:39 PM

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