Men vs women

[bulrush]

Anyone want to talk about men vs. women? Maybe complain a little? Have questions about the opposite sex?

[trax]

Not understand where babies come from? Need someone to explain the strange recent changes your body's experiencing? Can't figure out why your dog keeps doing that weird thing on your leg?

[klkak]

Nope! This is a dangerous topic that should be avoided!

[nell67]

Anyone want to talk about men vs. women? Maybe complain a little? Have questions about the opposite sex?

Ok Dr.bulrush,tell me about women,LMAO,this should be interesting,do ya understand them as much as you think you might?? cuz I am one,and I don't understand women:rolleyes::rolleyes::rolleyes::rolleyes::conf used:

[chiye tanka]

Hey bulrush, if you understand women, you should write a book. You'll have more money then Bill Gates, and then YOU can fix the economy.:D

[Sourdough]

Of all the threads that I have zilch, nanno, nothing to contribute to this is it....:rolleyes:

[bulrush]

Women (in general) like romantic candle lit dinners, fuzzy slippers, cute stuffed animals, mushy lovesongs, romantic walks, and change their mind a lot.

"Modern Women" (in general) like men to do all the hard, dirty work, talk about equalty, then cry "foul" when men want them to mow the lawn or do some other "equality" work. I'm just sayin...

[nell67]

Women like romantic candle lit dinners, fuzzy slippers, cute stuffed animals, mushy lovesongs, romantic walks, and change their mind a lot.

ok,wrong,wrong again,eh most people do ,everyone does,and wrong yet again,but that is YOUR opinion,right??? But that in no way explains women,you gotta get technical here if you want me to buy it.

[bulrush]

Just my opinion, based on my experience. And that's as technical as it gets.

[nell67]

So that's your experience,whats your complaints??Any questions that you want answered on the board?:rolleyes:

[bulrush]

Ok. Why are women so materialistic? Why do they think you don't love them unless you buy them something (dinner, flowers, movie, gifts, house, car, etc.)?

Or do they simply assume guys want to buy them things?

Since I haven't dated since college, I guess I should ask, is this a college age thing? Do women get less shallow as they age?

Almost all women I have dated have simply "gone away" after I started focusing on the relationship, and stopped buying them stuff.

[trax]

Why do people always generalize about other people? Whoops, did I just do it too?

[klkak]

Bulrush, You should stop before you get your butt stomped into a greasy spot on the floor!

[nell67]

Ok. Why are women so materialistic? Why do they think you don't love them unless you buy them something (dinner, flowers, movie, house, car, etc.)?

Or do they simply assume guys want to buy them things?

Materialism come from upbringing,if she saw daddy buying mommy all these beautiful things,then they expect that as well (by the way, daddy is usually materialistic in that relationship as well)

If you start a relationship out by buying things,flowers gifts, expensive dinners,you are setting the tone for the future of that relationship,then when you can't ,or don't keep up the spending,the insecurity sets in.

And like I said before,some men are just as materialistic as some women are,but for the record,you can not lump every woman,nor every man in the materialistic category,sounds like you just picked the wrong person for you.

[bulrush]

Well, that makes sense. Thanks for a serious answer.

You know Nell, all the women I dated were fairly materialistic. Some hid it more than others. Except one. She was pretty level headed. I was quite fond of her.

So now I ask another question. Why are so many women (I did not say all) so incredibly insecure? Is it the way they are wired? (Can't be, because there are a few secure women out there.) Or is it a cultural/upbringing thing?

[trax]

Ok. Why are women so materialistic? Why do they think you don't love them unless you buy them something (dinner, flowers, movie, gifts, house, car, etc.)?Or do they simply assume guys want to buy them things?

In the words of the immortal Robert Palmer "she's so fine, there's no tellin' where the money went"

[nell67]

See,I could take offence at being lumped into the materialistic catagory,just on the basis of being female,but I won't,since it seems your opinion of women is based on limited first hand knowledge.

My father never bought my mother anything,therefore I never expected anything when I got involved in a relationship,I just expected it to be that way,in that particular relationship,I was not disappointed,I am not and never have been materialistic.

[bulrush]

Good for you Nell. If you look carefully in my post, I tried not to offend anyone. I said "in general" I did not say "all".

[Jericho117]

This is so sexist.....wow......

[nell67]

Well, that makes sense. Thanks for a serious answer.

You know Nell, all the women I dated were fairly materialistic. Some hid it more than others. Except one. She was pretty level headed. I was quite fond of her.

So now I ask another question. Why are so many women (I did not say all) so incredibly insecure? Is it the way they are wired? (Can't be, because there are a few secure women out there.) Or is it a cultural/upbringing thing?
Part of it is their "wiring",I am incredibly shy when I first meet people,the rest is their upbringing. Oh yea,they have great role models on the tube

[nell67]

Good for you Nell. If you look carefully in my post, I tried not to offend anyone. I said "in general" I did not say "all".

Um,it says "in general" AFTER you edited it,if you look at my post where I quoted you,"in general" is not in your post.........

[trax]

I do believe the aforementioned "stomping" has commenced.

[Sourdough]

As the matador said, "Mucho good'r to bee d'e stomper than the stump'eeee".

[crashdive123]

Ever hear the expression "He who dies with the most toys wins"? I don't think the He in the expression was a She, but I could be mistaken.

[Rick]

I've been married a really long time to the same woman. I learned all about them very early on. They rule. That's all there is, guys. Whatever they say goes. That's my story and I'm sticking to it.

[FVR]

Hey daddy, I've got a problem

Last night I took my girlfriend for a ride

And the way she touched my hand dad

I got this funny feeling deep inside

So I leaned over and I kissed her

I put my arms around her and then

Well she reached out and she slapped me

She said, "You're just like all the other men"



Son you're talking to the wrong man

If you wanna know what girls are all about

You're talking to the wrong man

Still ain't got your mama figured out



By the way son, I've got a problem

I wonder could you talk with me a while

You see lately your mama she ignores me

Hardly ever gives me a little smile

So I was thinkin' maybe you could show me

The way you younger fellas comb your hair

Think I need to change my style son

Could you show me something really cool to wear?



Dad you're talking to the wrong man

If you wanna know what girls are all about

You're talking to the wrong man

Still ain't got my girlfriend figured out



So I guess we'll just go fishin'

Or maybe head out to that old gold course today

When our buddies ask us about women

I think I know exactly what we'll say


Boys you're talking to the wrong man

If you wanna know what girls are all about

You're talking to the wrong man

Still ain't got them women figured out

Still ain't got them women figured out

[RangerXanatos]

What I want to know about the opposite sex? Hmm... Where to start?

Why do they seem to rather fight to keep the wrong guy than rather give a good one a chance? :confused:
Why do the ones I start talking/dating suddenly end up pregnant from some other guy? :eek:
Why have I had married mothers want to have affairs with me? :eek:
Why do the girls my age think it's cute to act childish? :mad:

As you can see, in my limited experience, my dealings with the opposite sex has been futile and unpleasent. Who knows if we will ever fully comprehend the opposite sex? :confused:

Daniel

[chiye tanka]

Bul, you've started WW III, without one nuke being fired.:cool: I think you may HAVE to retreat and regroup.:D

[bulrush]

No reason for me to retreat. I simply stated my opinion based on my experience. And I asked serious questions expecting a serious answer.

If someone else is offended by someone having an honest opinion based on their experience, that is their problem. Some people just look for things to be offended about, and that tells a lot about them.

This is not supposed to be a "men are better" thread or "women are better" thread. It is an open discussion about things people may have been wondering for a long time.

To say that women change their mind a lot because their hormones change a lot is not sexist, it is scientific fact. Whether or not they choose to regulate their decision making with logic is their conscious choice. Every month women's hormones change a lot, and that puts a lot of wear and tear on the body and mind. So it's no wonder that some get moody sometimes.

Please note my careful use of the words "some", "sometimes", "most", "in general". That is on purpose. There are general trends I have noticed, based on my own experience. For me to say that all women are a certain way does not make sense and is not supported by fact or my experience. For women to get defensive and say "no" women are like that also does not make sense and is not supported by fact.

Since it is impossible for me to know every woman in the country well enough, I simply make generalizations based on my past experience.

[bulrush]

What I want to know about the opposite sex? Hmm... Where to start?

Why do they seem to rather fight to keep the wrong guy than rather give a good one a chance? :confused:

Because most women like a "bad boy". True. In high school I started out being the "nice guy", then learned this secret. When I started treating women badly, I got lots more interest from them. However, it also explains why 70% of divorces are filed by women in Michigan. (Stats from my lawyer.) They, IN GENERAL, make bad short term choices. (See Dr. Phil, Phil Donahue, Oprah, Jerry Springer, and Montel.) These bad short term choices are also reflected in our economy of materialism and high consumer debt.



Why do the ones I start talking/dating suddenly end up pregnant from some other guy? :eek:

Possibly because they are able to hide their bad traits, or "red flags" from you. And you end up dating bad women.


Why have I had married mothers want to have affairs with me? :eek:

Studies I have read about show square-jawed men are attractive to women for flings, but not for marriage. For marriage women want men with money.


Why do the girls my age think it's cute to act childish? :mad:

Because they are really immature. I dated a girl in college who really liked stuffed animals, still. Or perhaps they think you will like it. More likely the former.

BTW, I think we should talk about these things openly without getting defensive, only then do we have a chance of fixing the problems.

[bulrush]

OTOH, if women want to complain about men, and say perhaps "Why are men such jerks?" I would address that question seriously and not get defensive, because 1) I am not a jerk and 2) I am self-confident to answer said question.

[nell67]

Because most women like a "bad boy". True. In high school I started out being the "nice guy", then learned this secret. When I started treating women badly, I got lots more interest from them. However, it also explains why 70% of divorces are filed by women in Michigan. They make bad short term choices. These bad short term choices are also reflected in our economy of materialism and high consumer debt.


Possibly because they are able to hide their bad traits, or "red flags" from you. And you end up dating bad women.


Square-jawed men are attractive to women for flings, but not for marriage. For marriage women want men with money.


Because they are really immature. I dated a girl in college who really liked stuffed animals, still. Or perhaps they think you will like it. More likely the former.

BTW, I think we should talk about these things openly without getting defensive, only then do we have a chance of fixing the problems.

See bulrush,there you go again,since I didn't see an "in general" in either of these statements,you have once again lumped all women into the same catagory.Maybe it is you have made the bad choices???Hmmmm?

The first problem that needs to be fixed,is your perception of women "in general".Next time you meet a potentia mate,try looking at the person inside,rather than what you see outside.

[BraggSurvivor]

See bulrush,there you go again,since I didn't see an "in general" in either of these statements,you have once again lumped all women into the same catagory.Maybe it is you have made the bad choices???Hmmmm?

The first problem that needs to be fixed,is your perception of women "in general".Next time you meet a potentia mate,try looking at the person inside,rather than what you see outside.

I beg to differ Nell. You have to be physically attracted first. I mean, if she is just plain ugly, I don't want to know what is inside. At least thats what Dr. Phil told me.

[nell67]

I beg to differ Nell. You have to be physically attracted first. I mean, if she is just plain ugly, I don't want to know what is inside. At least thats what Dr. Phil told me.

Your watching too much TV Bragg.

[BraggSurvivor]

But it is true.

I meet beautiful looking people all the time. They quickly turn very ugly when you meet their inside.

Bulrush just hasn't met the women he is attracted to with a compatible inside. Eh?

[bulrush]

Nell, the "in general" is assumed in all my opinions. I shouldn't have to put it in every sentence, now should I?

And no, I don't judge a book by its cover. I can see why you would assume that though. I tried to date women who seemed nice, secure, not shallow, and seemed to be confident. As I got to know them I found trends emerging.

[nell67]

But it is true.

I meet beautiful looking people all the time. They quickly turn very ugly when you meet their inside.

Bulrush just hasn't met the women he is attracted to with a compatible inside. Eh?
Exactly Bragg

[nell67]

Nell, the "in general" is assumed in all my opinions. I shouldn't have to put it in every sentence, now should I?

And no, I don't judge a book by its cover. I can see why you would assume that though. I tried to date women who seemed nice, secure, not shallow, and seemed to be confident. As I got to know them I found trends emerging.
Maybe they saw trends emerging as well????

[bulrush]

Bulrush just hasn't met the women he is attracted to with a compatible inside. Eh?
Partly true, I think. But why have I not found a compatible woman? Is it a cultural issue? I mean, I'm an American living in America, yet I don't go for the materialistic, lots of debt thing. I live within my means, plan for the future, and am very down to earth. Women, IN GENERAL, (just for you, Nell) just aren't interested in that.

They want, IN GENERAL, (for Nell) whiz-bang, dates at the movies, dining out, bars, and what not. I'm just not a bar person and I'd rather do stuff at home like rent a movie and cuddle with my lady.

Or am I simply in a cultural desert, where there just aren't many good women?

How do I identify a good down-to-earth woman anyway? I actually married a hard-working, smart woman who grew up on a farm. She was the last one I'd think would be materialistic. She turned out to be very incompatible and we are now divorced.

[bulrush]

Maybe they saw trends emerging as well????

Not sure what you mean here, Nell. Can you elaborate? Were they looking for a cuter guy? I'm not exactly hard on the eyes.

Let's get to the point: I'm a good provider, you will not run out of food with me, but I'm not into luxuries.

I should also add I do stay away from the "hotties". During college I got to know some, and they were pretty ugly on the inside. So physical attraction isn't the primary thing that is going to make me want to date them.

[crashdive123]

I think it also has a lot to do with how you meet the women that you are speaking of Bulrush. Are you meeting them during activities that you are very interested in. Here's what I mean. At 52 I don't go hang out in bars. (yep - Mr. Boring here) There was a time in my life when I did.....a lot. I wanted, expected and tried to meet women on those occasions. Did anything meaningful or long lasting ever happen? Nope. When I finally met the woman that I will spend the rest of my life with I was windsurfing. She was windsurfing - we had common interests and were able to form a relationship around that that did not involve the facade and bravado that comes from an alcohol induced pick up line. The same holds true for those that meet during church functions. You and she share a common bond that can be built upon. Just my 2 cents.

[bulrush]

Now I'm referring to college when I dated last. No, didn't go to bars or social events outside campus. I met them in the dorms, walking between classes (maybe she was a friend of a friend and we got to talking), or in class. Sometimes we had dorm events (like movie night) and I would meet girls there.

So, I guess since those were social events, not a "hobby" event, that we didn't find things in common. I can see I should focus on going to events that are more "hobby like" rather than social. So we would have that hobby in common.

[BraggSurvivor]

Hey Bulrush, you could always order one, (woman) like fast food.

In countries like the China, they even pay you to take them.

Just a thought. ;):D

[crashdive123]

....or intrests. Ask yourself what you are passionate about. A relationship may have a better chance of flourishing if you share that in common.

[RangerXanatos]

Hobbies and interests...

Well, just about all of mine seemed to have a couple of the same interests. But I did meet them through friends, at restraunts with them as my waitress, tutoring them at school. Though it's hard for me to meet women. My week is fairly busy with limited contact with girls. I tutor and I can't force them to come in to my building for help. When I'm not doing that, I'm in class. And my classes are small with few girls around my age. One of my classes that's offered in sequences only has a total of 4 students that doesn't even meet at the school itself, but at a research lab.

About the only free time that I have is on Fridays and Saturdays, which I usually do the same old thing of going to the movies and eating out. There's not really much of anything for me to do out in the public to meet people as a hobby...

Actually, now since I'm thinking about it. I have decided to get in touch with one girl from my school that I got to meet while at a Life Science Summit. I think she's a bit odd, but I also believe that the things I regret most are the chances I never took.

Daniel

[nell67]

Partly true, I think. But why have I not found a compatible woman? Is it a cultural issue? I mean, I'm an American living in America, yet I don't go for the materialistic, lots of debt thing. I live within my means, plan for the future, and am very down to earth. Women, IN GENERAL, (just for you, Nell) just aren't interested in that.

They want, IN GENERAL, (for Nell) whiz-bang, dates at the movies, dining out, bars, and what not. I'm just not a bar person and I'd rather do stuff at home like rent a movie and cuddle with my lady.

Or am I simply in a cultural desert, where there just aren't many good women?

How do I identify a good down-to-earth woman anyway? I actually married a hard-working, smart woman who grew up on a farm. She was the last one I'd think would be materialistic. She turned out to be very incompatible and we are now divorced.

I like that,"she turned out to be very incompatible and we are now divorced" Ummm don;t you mean "WE turned out to be very incompatible"??

A relationship requires effort on both sides,she couldn't make it work on her own.DId she ask you to give her the world??

[bulrush]

I like that,"she turned out to be very incompatible and we are now divorced" Ummm don;t you mean "WE turned out to be very incompatible"??

A relationship requires effort on both sides,she couldn't make it work on her own.DId she ask you to give her the world??

Her words sum it all up: "The more you buy, the more you save!" And she had a violent temper.

That didn't fly with me at all.

Yes, both people need to put work into the relationship.

[trax]

actually bulrush, and I don't mean to sound judgemental here but I think this: I made a couple of smart azz comments in this thread earlier, but as long as you've got that thinking of the (vs.) between men and women, you're not going to be happy with a woman. The title of the thread sums it up for me.

[bulrush]

Trax, I think you might be right. I wouldn't mind dating. But getting married again is probably not going to work for me, due to my concerns I mentioned in the above posts.

Over the years, several women I have met have said that how much they really like the relationship to be close. But, in my experience, it seems material things are right at the top of their priority list also.

[Rick]

Uh, I think Trax is spoken for. So dating him is out of the question....I think.

[nell67]

Uh, I think Trax is spoken for. So dating him is out of the question....I think.
LMAO,you KNOW Trax is spoken for,and if he wasn't bulrush just isn't his type,let me tell ya.....

[trax]

You guys stop picking on him, he was trying to make a point. Bulrush, can we still be friends? (:D :D :D, had to throw that in there)

I'm thinking of the old adage once burned twice shy too, at least you're NOT making the same mistake over. that's a plus.

[bulrush]

Sure we can be friends, Trax.


but as long as you've got that thinking of the (vs.) between men and women, you're not going to be happy with a woman.
And before you get all confuzzled, I'm not gay. Picky, perhaps, but not gay. I'm a bit hairy, sweaty, sometimes smell bad, a bad dresser, so, definitely not gay.

I had a college roommate who was try-sexual. He would "try" anything once.

[trax]

whooops, was just talking about personal perspectives there, not gender selection. Haven't laughed that hard in a while, though.

[bulrush]

I'm thinking of the old adage once burned twice shy too, at least you're NOT making the same mistake over. that's a plus.
I'm trying to increase my knowledge to increase my chances. However, some people may have a knack of choosing the wrong dates/mates. And I may be one of them.

[chiye tanka]

:eek:Rick you're twisted!:eek:

[chiye tanka]

I'm trying to increase my knowledge to increase my chances. However, some people may have a knack of choosing the wrong dates/mates. And I may be one of them.

Welcome to the club. I'll send you your secret decoder ring.:D

[nell67]

Don't try so hard bulrush,all good things take time,even relationships,and some women are put off by a man that pushes to hard to advance the relationship.

[Sourdough]

Get a dog....be happy. Get two dogs, eight geese, two turkeys, at feeding time you are loved.

[Ole WV Coot]

When I was younger I spent all my money on booze, wild women, gambling and then wasted the rest. Now after 43yrs of "training" I am housebroken so I guess it ain't bad so just do what you like and you may run into the right one. Skip bars, never know what you will wake up with. I recommend supermarkets, just do your usual "I don't know where anything is" look and ask a nice lady for help.

[trax]

Just a little further on what Pop said, the advice is dead on unless the nice lady is wearing a uniform that indicates that supermarket is where she works, then she's being paid to help you and that would be....oh never mind, don't want that conversation again.

Ask a nice lady who also has a cart with higher end groceries than you were getting, you might as well trade up.:D

[Rick]

You know, there is something at play that you can't control and that is pheromones. Beyond the looks there might also be the smell...

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pheromone

[bulrush]

So if I see a lady and think I am attracted to her but I don't know why, you think it might be pheromones?

[crashdive123]

Phermones???? Nah - probably just hormones.;):D

[RangerXanatos]

Or you can do what I do...

http://i164.photobucket.com/albums/u3/rangerxanatos/junk/chloroform.jpg

[bulrush]

Ha ha ha ha ha ha! Good one.

[Ole WV Coot]

So if I see a lady and think I am attracted to her but I don't know why, you think it might be pheromones?

I never drank pheromones before but if it winds your watch buy a case. If it can make me look good and cover up ugly it will take the undertaker days to get the smile off my face and the casket closed.:D Oh, almost forgot, Thanks Son I will start wearing glasses. I have been getting dirty looks from women with name tags trying to read them up real close.;)

[trax]

that there is just so suave (that's pronounced swah vay, for you uncultured folk) there RangerX.

[owl_girl]

I've been married a really long time to the same woman. I learned all about them very early on. They rule. That's all there is, guys. Whatever they say goes. That's my story and I'm sticking to it.

lol Your one of those push over guys. :p. I love when my bf talks sternly to me *melts* :o. Maybe I'm a bit old fashion?

[Rick]

If it's any consolation, I run things around my house. The vacuum, the washing machine, the dish washer, the ....

[crashdive123]

....and I wear the pants in my family.....***what's that Dear? Oh, OK the blue ones***

[owl_girl]

ok then my question for the men is how do you encourage a passive guy to take more control in a relationship and not just by barking out orders or somthing. hopfully this question dosnt make you to uncomfortable.

[RangerXanatos]

If you're talking about for your boyfriend, tell him to make some plans for you to do together.

Example of going out on a date, tell him to make the decision of:
what time to pick you up
where to eat
what movie to see
what activity you both will be doing (tennis, hiking, skating)

Or you can leave him for me. ;) :D

[trax]

Or you can leave him for me. ;) :D


ummm, kinda hate to ask RangerX, but would she be leaving him for you and the chloroform:D (Oh that da** trax is such a spoiler....)

[nell67]

Ya may want to clarify that Ranger!:eek:

[trax]

{{passing a hanky to MDN}} "honey? you smell anything on there??" Nahhh, it's just not me, I'll stick with booze:D

@owl_girl: you're a dear friend, but I am not gonna do the 'Dear Abby' thing here :D

[RangerXanatos]

Hey, isn't all fair in love and war? :p

[nell67]

Booze works really well anymore,I'm a cheap drunk now!:eek:

[rebel]

Was North Georgia and the movie Deliverance supposedly the same area?

[RangerXanatos]

Was North Georgia and the movie Deliverance supposedly the same area?

Actually, parts of the river scene was filmed on the Chatooga River which I have been to. It's about an hour and a half from where I live...

[trax]

Oh? Do tell us more RX.... you play banjo at all?

[rebel]

I'm a ridge runner myself. We live at the north pole for our jobs and we have raw peanuts shipped to us to boil.

[RangerXanatos]

You might actually remember seeing me...
http://i164.photobucket.com/albums/u3/rangerxanatos/junk/deliverance_dueling_banjos.jpg

and part of the river
http://i164.photobucket.com/albums/u3/rangerxanatos/Hike%2006-25-08/DSCF0273.jpg

[trax]

thanks for the still photo, I actually thought you had more fingers than that :D :D

[rebel]

Your signature verse (Balboa) and this subject is disturbing me.

[trax]

oh thanks rebel, it's probably gonna take copious amounts of booze and a lot of therapy to get THAT image out of my head

[rebel]

There's alot you need to know like, how many shots do I have and at what depth the fish are bitting. Some things you don't want to know too. Bye.

[crashdive123]

@Owl Girl: Hope you find all these responses helpful.:D

[owl_girl]

sorry rangerX but im verry devoted to my bf but thanks. now days i wouldnt call him passive anyways. (though there may have been a time) i was really just curious.

[RangerXanatos]

Can't win them all can we? Now where did I place that rag? :eek: :D

[RangerXanatos]

On a more serious note, that may be the guy's natural way. Maybe he was raised that way by his mother, or perhaps he doesn't have the assertive attitude. You may try to encourage him to be more controlling, but it's really up to him. You can lead a mule to water, but you cant make a mule drink.

[owl_girl]

i ould never try to force anyone to chang into somthing there not. just let them now its ok to show that side and thats its appreciated which turnd out to be sufficient encouragement.