Joke of the day.

[Rick]

Oh, man. I hate higher math. Sheeesh.

[hunter63]

I was told there would be no maff....
(I get it...... a "V" right?....like Roman numeral 5? ....yeah, that's it....Got it....)
Bhohahahaha

[WalkingTree]

Oh, man. I hate higher math. Sheeesh.
The other day someone asked me to go see how full something was. I came back and said it was about 3/4 full. They were bewildered. Didn't know what I meant. Kinda sorta got mad at me, saying "don't use all those complicated numbers and math and stuff. Don't nobody around here know any fancy fractions, who uses fractions??". They were serious. Weren't joking. Really had no idea what I meant by 3/4 full. So I said it's over half full, hoping like heck that they at least understood that. They did, saying "ok, that's better, now I know what you mean."

[hunter63]

Yeah well don't feel bad......Lady at the Dish TV Customer Service ask be how far the down load was along...told her the same thing, about 3/4's.....she said she doesn't DO fractions.
So told her, "If the load bar was a dollar, we are at 3 quarters"......She says, "Oh yeah"

[WalkingTree]

You GOT to be kidding. Rather, we GOT to be kidding. 'Cept we're not. And that's just crazy.

[hunter63]

You GOT to be kidding. Rather, we GOT to be kidding. 'Cept we're not. And that's just crazy.

Not as crazy as handing $5 dollar bill to the kid at the till at Menards (big box home improvement place)in the garden center....for a $2.49 cent item.....
He stood there looking at it.....He had been ringing up everything up on peoples credit/debit cards....
Told him, "That's a $5 dollar bill US currency, and as far as I know is still legal tinder"....
So he take it, rings it up and put it in the till......closed it.

I ask him about my change?.....Again he looked at me with the "Huh?? eyes".....
Well the till isn't going to reopen till he had a supervisor keys in a code....

Get my change, and he was giving me the "stink eye" like it was my fault he was a Dumas.....as I was walking away I was listening to the folks in line muttering.

Heck if I would have know that..... I would have gotten out my change purse....and counted out the change to the penny.....
What a Richard Cranium...

Now That IS a Joke........

[Rick]

So, dude, I was like at work today and this really, really old guy, must have been 50, hands me, get this, money. I'm like what century are you from?
Seriously, man, that is just wrong. Bitcoin should have an old folks "get a life" coin.
For real.

[edr730]

Some years ago, I talked to the bank manager about getting a debit card for someone in Guatemala. Out or curiosity, I guess, she asked me where that was at because she didn't know too much about Europe. I replied that it was in Central America. The look on her face told me she was still confused, so I said, "south of Mexico". It's a lack of education, no doubt. She had the graduation papers, just didn't know nothin.

[Batch]

Well, now down here in South Florida we might have some immigrants and ignorant. LOL
You get your Cubans hating you Puerto Ricans. And damn near ever black hating every other black regardless.

But, my redneck breathern are the wisest of all. They refer to all latinos as South American's and Puerto Ricans as damned foreigners!

My favorite is when Mexican's are considered South American!

[WalkingTree]

Just to be an advocate for a certain fairness...There's something that we all don't know. Ok there, I said it. I mean, a smart-butt can jump up and give me some calculus and challenge me to show that I know what it is. However...

...some stuff is just basic. Or should be. Three freaking quarters? Knowing what a 5 dollar bill is? It must've finally happened - that day we warned ourselves about that would come about from using pocket calculators too much. The day when someone really doesn't know what 3/4 is or a 5-dollar bill and doesn't know to give change from 2.49...to see this happen in reality is just really weird. Reminds me of another incident a while back when somebody didn't know that birds lay eggs and don't nurse their young with mammary glands, and another person defend it by saying that they went to a pretty good school but never once heard anything about birds and eggs.

What's that thread? - "When does it stop being primitive?"

This is when:


...said it was about 3/4 full...They were bewildered...got mad at me, saying "who uses fractions??"

...handing $5 dollar bill...for a $2.49 cent item...looked at me with the "Huh?? eyes"

Or, is this when it instead got really primitive?

[hunter63]

Just stand in Line at Micky D's........See how many people buy $6 dollar meal( or just a coke)......And swipe their card....
WE doin' need no stinking fractions.....

[Rick]

Wait! What? Back up. What's this bird thing. They lay eggs?

[hunter63]

A TINY CABIN IN ALBERTA

A social worker from a big city in Ontario recently transferred
to the prairies of Alberta and was on the first tour of her new territory
when she came upon the tiniest cabin she had ever seen in her life.
Intrigued, she went up and knocked on the door.

"Anybody home?" she asked.
"Yep," came a kid's voice through the door.
"Is your father there?" asked the social worker.
"Pa? Nope, he left afore Ma came in," said the kid.
"Well, is your mother there?" persisted the social worker.
"Ma? Nope, she left just afore I got here," said the kid.

"But," protested the social worker, (thinking that surely she will
need to intervene in this situation) "are you never together as a family?"
"Sure, but not here," said the kid through the door.
"This is the outhouse!"

Government workers are so very smart.
Aren't you overjoyed that they'll soon be handling all our financial,
educational and medical needs?

[natertot]

Wait! What? Back up. What's this bird thing. They lay eggs?

Here I thought eggs always came from momma! I love them fried with a little bit of cheese!

[hunter63]

SENIOR TRYING TO SET PASSWORD

WINDOWS:
Please enter your new password.

USER:
cabbage

WINDOWS:
Sorry, the password must be more
than 8 characters.

USER:
boiled cabbage

WINDOWS:
Sorry, the password must contain
1 numerical character.

USER:
1 boiled cabbage

WINDOWS:
Sorry, the password cannot have blank spaces

USER:
50damnboiledcabbages

WINDOWS:
Sorry, the password must contain at least one upper case character

USER:
50DAMNboiledcabbages

WINDOWS:
Sorry the password cannot use more than one upper case character
consecutively.

USER:
50damnBoiledCabbagesShovedUpYourAssIfYouDon'tGiveM eAccessNow!

WINDOWS:
Sorry, the password cannot contain punctuation.

USER:
ReallyPissedOff50DamnBoiledCabbagesShovedUpYourAss IfYouDontGiveMeAccessNow

WINDOWS:
Sorry, that password is already in use

[crashdive123]

http://i261.photobucket.com/albums/ii67/crashdive123/Forum%20Fun/Laugh.gif (http://s261.photobucket.com/user/crashdive123/media/Forum%20Fun/Laugh.gif.html)

[WalkingTree]

Already in use...yes...ha! Somebody's been there already.

[Faiaoga]

Here's a laugh for the day.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kMHnNF2rqpI

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GaMylwohL14

Great to see these videos of chimps and other animals reacting to their own reflections. They react just as human babies do when held up to a mirror - slapping at the reflected image.:devil:

[WalkingTree]

In one, there's a particular moment when a chimp (or gorilla?) is moving his hand funny in the mirror, as if he's testing and recognizing that it's his reflection. I thought that was interesting.

[hunter63]

Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines.
quote>
Steven Wright

[crashdive123]

On his 74th birthday, a man got a gift certificate from his wife.
The certificate paid for a visit to a medicine man living on a nearby reservation who was rumored to have a wonderful cure for erectile dysfunction.
After being persuaded, he drove to the reservation, handed his ticket to the medicine man, and wondered what he was in for.
The old man handed a potion to him, and with a grip on his shoulder, warned,
'This is a powerful medicine. You take only a teaspoonful, and then say
'1-2-3.'

When you do, you will become more manly than you have ever been in your life, and you can perform as long as you want. ?The man was encouraged. As he walked away, he turned and asked,
"How do I stop the medicine from working?"
"Your partner must say '1-2-3-4,'" he responded, "but when she does, the medicine will not
work again until the next full moon."
He was very eager to see if it worked so he went home, showered, shaved, took a spoonful of the medicine, and then invited his wife to join him in the bedroom.

When she came in, he took off his clothes and said, "1-2-3!" Immediately, he was the manliest of men.


His wife was excited and began throwing off her clothes, and then she asked, "What was the 1-2-3 for?"


Boys and girls, that is why we should never end our sentences with a preposition, because we could end up with a dangling participle.

[hunter63]

Bhohahahahahaha.....
Now ain't that the truth......?

[hunter63]

http://i4.photobucket.com/albums/y139/hunter63/funny%20stuff/5c790380ea2e8c81b30ebbb23bcd8454.jpggaraff_zpsk7x2 el9a.jpg (http://s4.photobucket.com/user/hunter63/media/funny%20stuff/5c790380ea2e8c81b30ebbb23bcd8454.jpggaraff_zpsk7x2 el9a.jpg.html)

[hunter63]

My inspiration....You never know....

http://i4.photobucket.com/albums/y139/hunter63/funny%20stuff/cartoon-gahanwilsonelephant%20-%20Copy_zpsoo0x89dv.jpg (http://s4.photobucket.com/user/hunter63/media/funny%20stuff/cartoon-gahanwilsonelephant%20-%20Copy_zpsoo0x89dv.jpg.html)

[kyratshooter]

Did you ever drink so much your wife started making sense?


Me neither!

[Rick]

Oh, man. If you weren't like me you'd be in a lot of trouble right now.

[crashdive123]

Oh, he's in trouble alright. He's just going to have to wait a bit for the frying pan smack.

[kyratshooter]

Yep, I am pretty certain that when I reach the Pearly Gates St. Peter will not have much to say and just let me through.

Upon entry the wife will be waiting and I will get a "talking too"!

'specially for that last joke.

[M118LR]

I'll admit that I didn't go through all 102 pages. But I was wondering if Y'all heard that Walmart Greeter Mil Humor?

The Walmart Manager liked hiring Vets, put he had a particular problem with the Oldest Vet he had ever hired and assigned as a door greeter. The Old Guy was beyond reproach at customer service, could tell all the customers where everything in the store was located, every customer gave the Old Guy the highest score possible on every survey, BUT! The Old Guy was 15 minutes late every mourning.

As he had hired many Veterans the Manager knew he would need to counsel the Old Guy. He called him back into the Manger Office and regurgitated the problem. He new the Old Guy had done at least 30 years in the Navy and this 15 minutes late every day stuff wouldn't be tolerated no matter how good the Old Guy performed his duties. After the Old Guy explained that the 15 minutes in the mourning was a work in progress, the Manager wanted to know what it was that the Navy people would say to him if he was 15 minutes late!

The Old Guy deliberated over the Walmart Manger's direct question, pondered his measured response, the spoke softly. Usually if I was delayed 15 minutes in the mourning the Navy people I meet would ask, " Would you like coffee Admiral? "

[crashdive123]

A frog goes into a bank and approaches the teller. He can see from her nameplate that her name is Patricia Whack.

"Miss Whack, I'd like to get a $30,000 loan to take a holiday."



Patty looks at the frog in disbelief and asks his name. The frog says his name is Kermit Jagger, his dad is Mick Jagger, and that it's okay, he knows the bank manager.

Patty explains that he will need to secure the loan with some collateral.



The frog says, "Sure. I have this," and produces a tiny porcelain elephant, about an inch tall, bright pink and perfectly formed.


Very confused, Patty explains that she'll have to consult with the bank manager and disappears into a back office.



She finds the manager and says, "There's a frog called Kermit Jagger out there who claims to know you and wants to borrow $30,000, and he wants to use this as collateral."

She holds up the tiny pink elephant. "I mean, what in the world is this?"

(you're gonna love this)







(its a real treat)







(a masterpiece)







(wait for it)









The bank manager looks back at her and says...

"It's a knickknack, Patty Whack. Give the frog a loan. His old man's a Rolling Stone."

[Fixit]

I was I Tractor Supply the other day and out n one of those moods . I picked up the stuff in needed and went to counter . The women behind the rung up the sale and as sometimes happen the computer ask her to ask for phone number white she did . My reply

Ah women ,first they check you out and then they ask for your phone number .

[crashdive123]

And her response? Or are you still recovering in ICU?

[Fixit]

Well I had chosen my victim carefully . She bit her lower lip trying not to laogh . The Kelly the manager stock her head around the corner with a grin . So what she said was " I only asked for the phone number because the computer told me to " . To which Kelly replied with "sure sure ".

[RangerXanatos]

I was in Harbor Freight and the new guy in training asked for my phone number and I told him I was happily married. He didn't get it but his trainer got a deep laugh.

[natertot]

I went into an ace hardware one time, needing denatured alcohol for a wood project. The girl was new and about college age with a more experienced cashier one register over keeping an eye out on her. When she ran up my can of denatured alcohol, she accidentally rang up a quantity of ten. I looked at her with the most serious look and said "I don't need to drink that much". The look on her face was priceless as she was wondering if she should be selling it or requesting ID!

[hunter63]

Several year ago...I was having problem at "The Place" our cabin...
It is located on a good size river, and form time to time we get a lot of beaver damage.

Large trees chewed thru dropped in to and across the river....to say nothing of small trees and branches chewed off in a seep area and dragged thru the corn to the river.

Looking for help I called the State of Wisconsin, Nuisance Animal Hot line.
Lady answered the phone....
"Can I help you?"
"Yes. I have a problem with beaver........."

Long silence.....

"You know the kind the swims in river and lakes?"
Pause...
Pause...
Pause...
"Can I put the call on speaker phone?"

I gonna guess the lady has many dull days........?

[Wildthang]

What was the most se*ually explicit thing ever said on television in the period from 1957 to 1963?




Want to know?







Are you ready?







Wait for it!!!











Answer: Ward, weren't you a little hard on the Beaver last night! :smartass:

[madmax]

Now wait a second. Rick and Crash would toss me for that. But it was funny.

[Wildthang]

Now wait a second. Rick and Crash would toss me for that. But it was funny.

They may toss me, they just haven't seen it yet!!!

[hunter63]

Well, At least I was able to enjoy it before it was deleted as a "Groaner....."

[Wildthang]

Well, At least I was able to enjoy it before it was deleted as a "Groaner....."

Hunter only you appreciate fine humor.........LOL

[hunter63]

Latest pallet project.....didn't come out too well...

So...Project Rev 2

http://i4.photobucket.com/albums/y139/hunter63/funny%20stuff/659668658b2fcae4afbe61ebbe5fb336.jpgpallet_zps4q49 xzph.jpg (http://s4.photobucket.com/user/hunter63/media/funny%20stuff/659668658b2fcae4afbe61ebbe5fb336.jpgpallet_zps4q49 xzph.jpg.html)

[Rick]

I've made my fair share of those projects. Wasn't funny then. Still isn't funny.

[hunter63]

Yeah but it feel good and warm for a little while...kinda like peeing in a dark suit.

[gcckoka]

2 seconds before car accident in all over the world
-oh heck !
2 seconds before car accident in Georgia
-look what I will do now...

kind of funny but sad reality :D

[hunter63]

Kinda like......
Wake up Leroy....He ain't never seen a wreak this big before?

[kyratshooter]

Hold my vodka and watch this!

[Wildthang]

Latest pallet project.....didn't come out too well...

So...Project Rev 2

http://i4.photobucket.com/albums/y139/hunter63/funny%20stuff/659668658b2fcae4afbe61ebbe5fb336.jpgpallet_zps4q49 xzph.jpg (http://s4.photobucket.com/user/hunter63/media/funny%20stuff/659668658b2fcae4afbe61ebbe5fb336.jpgpallet_zps4q49 xzph.jpg.html)

Okay, how did you get that picture of Kyratts shootin shed???

[hunter63]

http://i4.photobucket.com/albums/y139/hunter63/Nov%202016%20new/budget%20furneal_zps5sm1tkwc.jpg (http://s4.photobucket.com/user/hunter63/media/Nov%202016%20new/budget%20furneal_zps5sm1tkwc.jpg.html)

[BENESSE]

http://www.wilderness-survival.net/forums/attachment.php?attachmentid=11306&stc=1

[hunter63]

http://www.wilderness-survival.net/forums/attachment.php?attachmentid=11306&stc=1

Apparently.........

[Rick]

Cooter and Stan were fishing. Cooter said.

"I recon' I'm gonna divorce my wife. She hasn't said a word to me in 2 months."

To which Stan replied.

"Better think about that, Cooter. A good woman like that is hard to find."

[Rick]

Here's a couple for you.

http://i348.photobucket.com/albums/q348/safe_zone/raccoon_zpsivnrdrit.jpg (http://s348.photobucket.com/user/safe_zone/media/raccoon_zpsivnrdrit.jpg.html)

http://i348.photobucket.com/albums/q348/safe_zone/last%20selfie_zpsxhmlknww.jpg (http://s348.photobucket.com/user/safe_zone/media/last%20selfie_zpsxhmlknww.jpg.html)

[crashdive123]

Sunday Morning Sex

I will never hear church bells ringing again without smiling. Upon hearing that her elderly grandfather had just passed away, Katie went straight to her grandparent's house to visit her 95-year-old grandmother and comfort her. When she asked how her grandfather had died, her grandmother replied, "He had a heart attack while we were making love on Sunday morning."

Horrified, Katie told her grandmother that 2 people nearly 100 years old having sex would surely be asking for trouble.

"Oh no, my dear," replied granny. "Many years ago, realizing our advanced age, we figured out the best time to do it was when the church bells would start to ring. It was just the right rhythm. Nice and slow and even. Nothing too strenuous, simply in on the Ding and out on the Dong." She paused to wipe away a tear, and continued,


"He'd still be alive if the ice cream truck hadn't come along!

[crashdive123]

Grandma Jones is driving along on her way home from church one fine Sunday morning when she spots a police car in her rear view mirror, the patrol car is following her with it's flashing red and blue lights on and it's siren wailing, Gram pulls over for the officer and he pulls in right behind her.

A few seconds later the officer is at her driver side window, she asks is there something wrong officer, he replies yes Mam, you were speeding, I'll have to see your drivers license, well she says, I'd like to show it to you, but I don't have one, why not he asks, she tells him I lost it a few years ago after four drunk driving arrests, well how about your registration certificate he asks, well sir, the car isn't mine, who does the car belong to Mam, she replies, I don't know the owners name, I stole the car officer, I killed the owner and chopped him up into pieces, put the pieces in trash bags, he's in the trunk if you want to look.

The officer is stunned, he steps back from the car and calls for back up, a few minutes later five police cars show up and box in the old lady's car, the senior officer then approaches her car slowly with his hand on his half drawn service pistol, he asks the old lady to step out of the car and put her hands on the hood of the car, he says, my officer tells me that you stole this car, that you killed the owner and have his body in the trunk, well she says, take a look, the officer opens the trunk and lifts the lid on a perfectly clean storage compartment.

He then says, my officer also said you didn't have a valid license to drive, is that right, the old lady then slowly pulls a card carrier out of her purse and hands the senior officer her valid drivers license and says the car is hers and the registration is in the glove box, the first officers jaw drops in disbelief, but, says the senior officer, my officer said, the old lady chimes in in an aggravated tone, well, it seems he told you allot of things, I'll bet the lying bastard told you I was speeding as well.

[hunter63]

LOL....
I was gonna put this in the survival thread.....but that been kinda over done....

So, with dat in mind....

Ole and Sven grabbed their poles and headed out to do some ice fishing. As they were augering a hole in the ice they heard a loud voice from above say, "There are no fish under the ice."

Ole an Sven moved about 25 feet over and started to make another hole. The voice said a little stronger, " There are no fish under the ice."

They both looked around and then looked up. Ole said in a humble voice, "Are you God?"

The voice spoke back, "No ya idiots! I'm the ice rink attendant."

.

[Alalalyn]

Hi :wavey:

[Alalalyn]

Two kids are talking.
- My dad works twelve hours a day, so that I can have a comfortable home and decent clothes. My mom spends the whole day cleaning and cooking for me. However, I can not relax from all the worry.
- But you are living a fairytale life! What are you so worry about?
- Well, what if they try to escape?

[Rick]

What is red and white, red and white, red and white?






Santa Claus rolling off your roof.

[hunter63]

According to a news report, a certain Catholic school was recently faced with a unique problem.

A number of 12-year-old girls were beginning to use lipstick and would put it on in the bathroom. That was fine provided it was of a natural or neutral skin tone, but after they put on their lipstick, they would press their lips to the mirror leaving dozens of little lip prints.

Every night the maintenance man would remove them and the next day .... the girls would put them back.

Finally, the principal, Sister Mary, decided that something had to be done. She called all the girls to the bathroom and met them there with the maintenance man.
She explained that all these lip prints were causing a major problem for the custodian, who had to clean the mirrors every night (you can just imagine the yawns from the little princesses).;

To demonstrate how difficult it had been to clean the mirrors, Sister Mary asked the maintenance man to show the girls how much effort was required.
He took out a long-handled squeegee, dipped it in the toilet and cleaned the mirror with it.

Since then, there have been no lip prints on the mirror.

There are teachers...... And then there are educators!"

[alaskabushman]

Having been a maintenance man for several years myself...the struggle is real.

[WalkingTree]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6filPCtrt0c

[hunter63]

Don't know if this a joke or real advice......But have to agree...

> TOAST WITH A GLASS OF WINE
>
> TO MY FRIENDS WHO ENJOY A GLASS OF WINE AND THOSE WHO DON'T AND
> ARE ALWAYS SEEN WITH A BOTTLE OF WATER IN THEIR HAND:
>
> AS BEN FRANKLIN SAID: IN WINE THERE IS WISDOM, IN BEER THERE IS
> FREEDOM, IN WATER THERE IS BACTERIA.
>
> IN A NUMBER OF CAREFULLY CONTROLLED TRIALS, SCIENTISTS HAVE
> DEMONSTRATED THAT IF WE DRINK 1 LITER OF WATER EACH DAY, AT THE END OF
> THE YEAR WE WOULD HAVE ABSORBED MORE THAN 1 KILO OF ESCHERICHIA COLI,
> (E. COLI) - BACTERIA FOUND IN FECES. IN OTHER WORDS, WE ARE CONSUMING
> 1 KILO OF POOP ANNUALLY.
>
> HOWEVER, WE DO NOT RUN THAT RISK WHEN DRINKING WINE & BEER (OR RUM,
> WHISKEY OR OTHER LIQUOR) BECAUSE ALCOHOL HAS TO GO THROUGH A
> PURIFICATION PROCESS OF BOILING, FILTERING AND FERMENTING.
>
> REMEMBER: WATER = POOP, WINE = HEALTH. THEREFORE, IT'S BETTER TO
> DRINK WINE AND TALK STUPID THAN TO DRINK WATER AND BE FULL OF SHIP.

[alaskabushman]

https://images-cdn.9gag.com/photo/aNeP0zb_700b.jpg

I couldn't help myself.

[hunter63]

I called an old college buddy and asked what he was doing.

He replied that he was working on "Aqua-thermal treatment of ceramics,
aluminum and steel under a constrained environment."

I was impressed...
Upon further inquiring, I learned that he was washing dishes with hot water under his wife's supervision.

[crashdive123]

https://i.ytimg.com/vi/uB4KuKkgFts/hqdefault.jpg

[Wildthang]

What do you get when you mix Rogain and Viagra?

Paige down!




Wait for it!





You know you want to know!





It's kinda funny!






Here we go!







Answer: Don King hair!

[hunter63]

http://i4.photobucket.com/albums/y139/hunter63/imagesCACPLNE6_zps94b29c53.jpg (http://s4.photobucket.com/user/hunter63/media/imagesCACPLNE6_zps94b29c53.jpg.html)

[WalkingTree]

This is my hair. I do what I want with this hair. I wash this hair, I brush this hair. I mess this hair up if I want to mess this hair up.

[Durtyoleman]

A giant rabbit died on a United flight.
One man is suspected of foul play.
We tried to reach him for comment but he's being vewy vewy qwiet.

[Rick]

A guy is sitting at home when he hears a knock at the door. He opens the door and sees a snail on the porch. He picks up the snail and throws it as far as he can. Three years later there’s a knock on the door. He opens it and sees the same snail. The snail says: ‘What the heck was that all about?’

[Wise Old Owl]

Was he delivering Snail Mail?

[Wise Old Owl]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rKJ9ehbW82A

[crashdive123]

Bubba and Billy Joe were on vacation, walking downtown, window shopping, and they see a sign on a store which reads, "Suits $5.99 each, shirts $1.99 each, trousers $2.49 each.

Bubba says to his pal, "Billy Joe, Look here! We could buy a whole gob of these, take 'em back to Georgia, sell 'em and make a fortune. Just let me do the talkin', 'cause if they hear your accent, they might think we're ignorant, and not wanna sell that stuff to us”. Now, I'll talk in a slow Texas drawl so's they don't know we is from Georgia ."

They go in and Bubba says with his best fake Texas drawl, "I'll take 50 of them suits at $5.99, 100 of them there shirts at $1.99, 50 pairs of them there trousers at $2.39. I'll back up my pickup and....."

"The owner of the shop interrupts, "Ya'll from Georgia, ain't ya?"

"Well...yeah," says a surprised Bubba. "How come ya'll knowed that?"

"Because this is a Dry-Cleaners."

[WalkingTree]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=toTdiRUC1zk

[Durtyoleman]

My wife wanted to role-play "doctor and patient"
But things went south very quickly when I said: "Hello! I'm your dietician..."

[hunter63]

Made me laugh....

http://i4.photobucket.com/albums/y139/hunter63/funny%20stuff/tumblr_oqoh45Gx551qewacoo1_540_zpsxa5cpop0.jpg (http://s4.photobucket.com/user/hunter63/media/funny%20stuff/tumblr_oqoh45Gx551qewacoo1_540_zpsxa5cpop0.jpg.htm l)

Stole from
http://tumblr.tastefullyoffensive.com/image/161173411328

[Durtyoleman]

Four guys, Jim, Gary, Bob, and John went camping and they had two tents to share. The second morning Gary was still asleep as the other three were gathered at the fire drinking coffee. The two men looked at Jim and said he looked terrible. Jim said, "Gary was snoring and tossing and talking in his sleep...I didn't get five minutes of sleep." He managed to talk Bob into swapping tents with him that night. The following morning Bob was already at the campfire with coffee made as the men awakened and again Gary slept in. He too looked horrible and complained about Gary's horrible night habits. After some arguing and threats John agreed to take a night in that tent. The following morning the men awoke to see Gary looking miserable at the fire and John looking fresh as a daisy. They pulled him aside and asked what happened how he managed to get any sleep ... He replied, I crawled into the tent beside Gary and kissed his cheek, slapped his butt, And HE stayed up all night watching me sleep.

[BENESSE]

A married Irishman went into the confessional and said to his priest, 'I almost had an affair with another woman.'
The priest said, 'What do you mean almost?'
The Irishman said, 'Well, we got undressed and rubbed together, but then I stopped.'
The priest said, 'Rubbing together is the same as putting it in. You're not to see that woman again. For your penance, say five Hail Mary's and put $50 in the poor box.'
The Irishman left the confessional, said his prayers, and then walked over to the poor box.
He paused for a moment and then started to leave.
The priest, who was watching, quickly ran over to him saying, 'I saw that. You didn't put any money in the poor box!'
The Irishman replied, 'Yeah, but I rubbed the $50 on the box, and according to you, that's the same as putting it in.'

[crashdive123]

http://i261.photobucket.com/albums/ii67/crashdive123/Forum%20Fun/Laugh.gif (http://s261.photobucket.com/user/crashdive123/media/Forum%20Fun/Laugh.gif.html)

[hunter63]

LOL....Kinda like ..."I'll only do it a little bit...."

[crashdive123]

Almost like one of my favorites.


A couple went on vacation to a resort up north. The husband liked to fish, and the wife liked to read. One morning the husband came back from fishing after getting up really early that morning and took a nap.

While he slept, the wife decided to take the boat out. She was not familiar with the lake, so she rowed out and anchored the boat, and started reading her book.

Along comes the Game Warden in his boat, pulls up alongside the woman's boat and asks her what she's doing? She says, "Reading my book." The Game Warden tells her she is in a restricted fishing area and she explains that she's not fishing. To which he replied, "But you have all this equipment. I will have to take you in and write you up!"

Angry that the warden was being so unreasonable, the lady told the warden, "If you do that, I will charge you with rape." The warden, shocked by her statement, replied, "But I didn't even touch you." To which the lady replied, "Yeah, but you have all the equipment!"

[WalkingTree]

Ok, the most random and pointless vid popped up on my youtube. Who knows why, but I watched it. Now I'm posting it here and there, because I'm surprised at how it made me bust a gut, at how outrageous it is. For the full laugh effect, you need to watch the full video to observe the evolution of events properly.


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dq6T5BojXc8

Maybe you can imagine that it's the brain of someone trying to think about something really hard and can't figure it out.

[hunter63]

Ok, the most random and pointless vid popped up on my youtube. Who knows why, but I watched it. Now I'm posting it here and there, because I'm surprised at how it made me bust a gut, at how outrageous it is. For the full laugh effect, you need to watch the full video to observe the evolution of events properly.



Maybe you can imagine that it's the brain of someone trying to think about something really hard and can't figure it out.

Man, I glad they showed that asa a Whirlpool.........I was waiting to it to "transform back in to the Maytag man...... all beat up.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=adKTI9gwc0A

[WalkingTree]

It's a he...how do you know...don't worry about it. Haha!!

I go on a date, and get to her house, and see that her washer or dryer is old and jumps around a bit, and mention that she ought to get a new one or get it fixed...and she says that she doesn't want to. I go hhmm...


Ok, here's another. YouTube won't stop giving 'em to me now.


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DsTnSIO9Log

The things some people do when drunk, I swear. Only white people, I bet...

[Rollicks]

This thing cracks me up!


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mGbsm_zcAtU&index=43&list=FL2aBCuWttnkWbJMNZVNC4ow

[WalkingTree]

Heck yea!! That's awesome! Plucking a chicken is a pain in the butt. Not anymore. That's nice.

[Rick]

No animals were harmed in the making of the video.

[hunter63]

http://i4.photobucket.com/albums/y139/hunter63/funny%20stuff/Capture.GIFponcho_zpstcpqq5q4.gif (http://s4.photobucket.com/user/hunter63/media/funny%20stuff/Capture.GIFponcho_zpstcpqq5q4.gif.html)


http://www.gocomics.com/poochcafe/

[WalkingTree]

Stumbled on this. Guess it can go here.


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pe4cXPWPJWU

[Durtyoleman]

My wife got a mud-pack for her complexion, and looked great for two days...
Then the mud fell off.

[hajta]

Hahaha, sooooo good man :D Thanks!

[Durtyoleman]

A Woman gets out of her Prius, walks into a bar and sits down next to a guy drinking a beer.

Woman: I see you drink beer.

Man: Yup

Woman: How many beers a day?

Man: Usually about 3

Woman: How much do you pay for each beer?

Man: About $5.00 including the tip

Woman: And how long have you been drinking?

Man: Maybe 20 years, I guess.

Woman: So a beer costs $5 and you have 3 beers a day which puts your spending each month at $450.

So in one year, it would be approximately $5400 correct?

Man: Yup.

Woman: For each year that you spend $5,400, not accounting for inflation, the past 20 years puts your spending at $108,000, correct?

Man: Yup.

Woman: Did you know that if you didn’t drink so much beer, that money could have been put in a step-up interest savings account and, after accounting for compound interest for the past 20 years, you could have bought a Ferrari?


Man: Do you drink beer?

Woman: No.

Man: Where’s your Ferrari?

[hunter63]

Ain't that the truth...............

[Durtyoleman]

After a ****-Hit-The-Fan scenario I realized I desperately needed to take a survival course and immediately signed up...It's titled

Marriage...week 2 and beyond

[hunter63]

Fall driving safety.
It's that time of years again.....be sure to call you state officials and get those deer crossing signs moved to a safer place.


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-GvNpKL3gSg

[crashdive123]

I shake my head in disbelief and laugh out loud every time I hear that.

[hunter63]

I shake my head in disbelief and laugh out loud every time I hear that.

The local stations bring it up every year....sorta a public service letting people deer are in rut, go nuts and do some real damage....

[Durtyoleman]

Next time you go on a Roller coaster
take some spare bolts with you and as the coaster climbs the steep hill, tap the guy in front of you on the shoulder and say "Hey, these just fell out from under your seat"... then sit back and enjoy your ride.

[Durtyoleman]

A Priest was passing a group of us young teens sitting on the church lawn and stopped to ask us what we were doing.

"Nothing much Father" we said. "We were just seeing who can tell the biggest lie about their s e x life."

"I'm shocked!" said the pastor "When I was your age, I never even thought about s e x."

We all looked at each other for a moment, then said in unison, "You win!"

[WalkingTree]

Fall driving safety.
It's that time of years again.....be sure to call you state officials and get those deer crossing signs moved to a safer place.


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-GvNpKL3gSg
Oh...my...god. She has got to be kidding.

[Durtyoleman]

A robber held up a stagecoach in the Old West.
He snarled: "If you don't hand over all your money, I'll shoot the men and molest the women."
A gentleman passenger stepped forward and said bravely, "You shall not touch the ladies."
Hearing this, an elderly woman passenger yelled out, "You leave him alone - HE'S robbing this stagecoach!"

[hunter63]

A robber held up a stagecoach in the Old West.
He snarled: "If you don't hand over all your money, I'll shoot the men and molest the women."
A gentleman passenger stepped forward and said bravely, "You shall not touch the ladies."
Hearing this, an elderly woman passenger yelled out, "You leave him alone - HE'S robbing this stagecoach!"

LOL....There was a "Granny" cartoon in Playboy Magazine...a long time ago.....
Granny standing there half dressed....with her hands on her hips...
Robber says.."Honest lady we don't want to violate the women...we just want to rob the durn stage.....

[Durtyoleman]

I can see him giving the cash back just to get away.

[Durtyoleman]

Q. What did the doe say when she came out of the woods?


A. I'll never do that for five bucks again.

[hunter63]

♦ I read that 4,153,237 people got married last year. Not to cause any trouble but shouldn't that be an even number?

[JohnLeePettimore]

♦ I read that 4,153,237 people got married last year. Not to cause any trouble but shouldn't that be an even number?

Not when you include Utah.

Here's one:

A rabbi, a priest, and a minister walk into a bar.

The bartender says, "What is this, a joke?"

Probably old, but i just heard it yesterday.

[hunter63]

♦ Today a man knocked on my door and asked for a small donation towards the local swimming pool.

I gave him a glass of water.

[Durtyoleman]

Once while fishin' the flats in the Gulf, I got caught by the game and fisheries warden with a snook when I had forgotten to get a snook stamp. So I explained that it was a pet snook that I took out for a swim each night and when it was time to go home I just whistled and he would jump back in the boat.

The man looked incredulous and called me a liar. "Just watch," I said and tossed the snook into the water.

We sat there for a minute and he said, "Why ain't you whistlin' for your fish?"

"What fish?" I asked....

[Durtyoleman]

How many fishermen does it take to change a light bulb?


Two, we had to take turns, and that bulb must have been ---THIISSS BIIIG----!

[Rick]

It's about that time of year. So.....

http://static.onepoliticalplaza.com/upload/2015/10/8/1444342642424-c4.jpg

[WalkingTree]

hahahahaha!!!!!

[BENESSE]

http://www.wilderness-survival.net/forums/attachment.php?attachmentid=11885&stc=1

[Rick]

Buhahahahaha. Now that right there is funny. It's all about priorities.

[Durtyoleman]

I don't understand why women like cats...

Cats are independent, they don't listen, they don't come in when you call, they like to stay out all night, and when they're home they like to be left alone and sleep. They want attention and touching on their own terms... In other words, every quality that women hate in a man, they love in a cat.

[Durtyoleman]

Mary's 86 year old grandmother, after yet another five thousand dollar gift from her granddaughter, asked where she gets all her money. Mary sheepishly admits she does p0rn0graphy to which her grandmother exploded, "Oh thank God, I thought you were going to say you had disgraced the family and gone into law!"

[BENESSE]

http://www.wilderness-survival.net/forums/attachment.php?attachmentid=11905&stc=1

[madmax]

Hahaha! Oh man, I spit out some beer.

[Pack_07]

God, next time he should try a mood braclet :D

[crashdive123]

A CNN reporter walks into a neighborhood tavern and is about to order a drink when he sees a guy at the end of the bar wearing a "Make America Great Again" hat. It didn't take an Einstein to know the guy was a Donald Trump supporter.

The CNN guy shouts over to the bartender, loudly enough that everyone in the bar could hear, "drinks for everyone in here, bartender, except for that Trump supporter."

After the drinks were handed out the Trump guy gives the CNN guy a big smile, waves at him and says, in an equally loud voice, "thank you!"

This infuriates the CNN reporter. So he once again loudly orders drinks for everyone except the guy wearing the Trump hat. As before, this doesn't seem to bother the Trump guy. He just continues to smile and again yells, "thank you!"

So the CNN guy again loudly orders drinks for everyone except the trump guy. And again the Trump guy just smiles and yells back, "thank you!"

At that point the aggravated CNN reporter asks the bartender, "what the hell is the matter with that trump supporter? I've ordered three rounds of drinks for everyone in the bar but him and all the silly *** does is smile and thank me. Is he nuts?"

"Nope," replies the bartender. "he owns the place."

[BENESSE]

@Crash; That's a good one. Love!

[chiggersngrits]

Best survival advise ever:

If you get lost in the woods,
Find a possum and follow it,
You will be in the middle of the road in no time.

[Rick]

https://pbs.twimg.com/media/E90IIqrWQAYX4Tb.jpg (https://pbs.twimg.com/media/E90IIqrWQAYX4Tb.jpg)

[natertot]

Where do terrorists go when they die?

EVERYWHERE!

[Sammy00]

I know another joke. It's a bit stereotypical, but it's still funny to me) There was a blonde, a redhead, and a brunette. They were all trapped on an island and the nearest shore was 50 miles away. The redhead swam trying to make it to the other shore she swam 15 miles, drowned, and died. The brunette swam 24 miles, drowned, and died. The blonde swam 25 miles, got tired, and swam back.

[crashdive123]

Teacher: Little Johnny, you look sad. What's wrong?

Little Johnny: I saw a dead cat on my way to school.

Teacher: How do youknow it was dead?

Little Johnny: I pissed in its ear and it didn't move.

Teacher: (a little disturbed) Johnny!!! Please explain yourself!

Little Johnny: I saw the cat and it wasn't moving. I bent over, close to his ear and went Pssssst! He didn't move.

[BENESSE]

An old one stands the test of time:

A street walker comes up to a guy and says, I'll do anything for 50 bucks.
He says, sure, paint my house.

[yellowcab]

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[yellowcab]

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Туль (http://tamecurve.ru/shop/474973)Илюм (http://tapecorrection.ru/shop/480835)Wind (http://tappingchuck.ru/shop/485350)Дмит (http://taskreasoning.ru/shop/497166)Лет� (http://technicalgrade.ru/shop/1816947)40-4 (http://telangiectaticlipoma.ru/shop/1860082)32-3 (http://telescopicdamper.ru/shop/634200)Engl (http://temperateclimate.ru/shop/287893)Соде (http://temperedmeasure.ru/shop/398997)Пахн (http://tenementbuilding.ru/shop/970586)tuchkas (http://tuchkas.ru/)�ефе (http://ultramaficrock.ru/shop/976603)Mari (http://ultraviolettesting.ru/shop/481884)

[yellowcab]

audiobookkeeper (http://audiobookkeeper.ru)cottagenet (http://cottagenet.ru)eyesvision (http://eyesvision.ru)eyesvisions (http://eyesvisions.com)factoringfee (http://factoringfee.ru)filmzones (http://filmzones.ru)gadwall (http://gadwall.ru)gaffertape (http://gaffertape.ru)gageboard (http://gageboard.ru)gagrule (http://gagrule.ru)gallduct (http://gallduct.ru)galvanometric (http://galvanometric.ru)gangforeman (http://gangforeman.ru)gangwayplatform (http://gangwayplatform.ru)garbagechute (http://garbagechute.ru)
gardeningleave (http://gardeningleave.ru)gascautery (http://gascautery.ru)gashbucket (http://gashbucket.ru)gasreturn (http://gasreturn.ru)gatedsweep (http://gatedsweep.ru)gaugemodel (http://gaugemodel.ru)gaussianfilter (http://gaussianfilter.ru)gearpitchdiameter (http://gearpitchdiameter.ru)geartreating (http://geartreating.ru)generalizedanalysis (http://generalizedanalysis.ru)generalprovisions (http://generalprovisions.ru)geophysicalprobe (http://geophysicalprobe.ru)geriatricnurse (http://geriatricnurse.ru)getintoaflap (http://getintoaflap.ru)getthebounce (http://getthebounce.ru)
habeascorpus (http://habeascorpus.ru)habituate (http://habituate.ru)hackedbolt (http://hackedbolt.ru)hackworker (http://hackworker.ru)hadronicannihilation (http://hadronicannihilation.ru)haemagglutinin (http://haemagglutinin.ru)hailsquall (http://hailsquall.ru)hairysphere (http://hairysphere.ru)halforderfringe (http://halforderfringe.ru)halfsiblings (http://halfsiblings.ru)hallofresidence (http://hallofresidence.ru)haltstate (http://haltstate.ru)handcoding (http://handcoding.ru)handportedhead (http://handportedhead.ru)handradar (http://handradar.ru)
handsfreetelephone (http://handsfreetelephone.ru)hangonpart (http://hangonpart.ru)haphazardwinding (http://haphazardwinding.ru)hardalloyteeth (http://hardalloyteeth.ru)hardasiron (http://hardasiron.ru)hardenedconcrete (http://hardenedconcrete.ru)harmonicinteraction (http://harmonicinteraction.ru)hartlaubgoose (http://hartlaubgoose.ru)hatchholddown (http://hatchholddown.ru)haveafinetime (http://haveafinetime.ru)hazardousatmosphere (http://hazardousatmosphere.ru)headregulator (http://headregulator.ru)heartofgold (http://heartofgold.ru)heatageingresistance (http://heatageingresistance.ru)heatinggas (http://heatinggas.ru)
heavydutymetalcutting (http://heavydutymetalcutting.ru)jacketedwall (http://jacketedwall.ru)japanesecedar (http://japanesecedar.ru)jibtypecrane (http://jibtypecrane.ru)jobabandonment (http://jobabandonment.ru)jobstress (http://jobstress.ru)jogformation (http://jogformation.ru)jointcapsule (http://jointcapsule.ru)jointsealingmaterial (http://jointsealingmaterial.ru)journallubricator (http://journallubricator.ru)juicecatcher (http://juicecatcher.ru)junctionofchannels (http://junctionofchannels.ru)justiciablehomicide (http://justiciablehomicide.ru)juxtapositiontwin (http://juxtapositiontwin.ru)kaposidisease (http://kaposidisease.ru)
keepagoodoffing (http://keepagoodoffing.ru)keepsmthinhand (http://keepsmthinhand.ru)kentishglory (http://kentishglory.ru)kerbweight (http://kerbweight.ru)kerrrotation (http://kerrrotation.ru)keymanassurance (http://keymanassurance.ru)keyserum (http://keyserum.ru)kickplate (http://kickplate.ru)killthefattedcalf (http://killthefattedcalf.ru)kilowattsecond (http://kilowattsecond.ru)kingweakfish (http://kingweakfish.ru)kinozones (http://kinozones.ru)kleinbottle (http://kleinbottle.ru)kneejoint (http://kneejoint.ru)knifesethouse (http://knifesethouse.ru)
knockonatom (http://knockonatom.ru)knowledgestate (http://knowledgestate.ru)kondoferromagnet (http://kondoferromagnet.ru)labeledgraph (http://labeledgraph.ru)laborracket (http://laborracket.ru)labourearnings (http://labourearnings.ru)labourleasing (http://labourleasing.ru)laburnumtree (http://laburnumtree.ru)lacingcourse (http://lacingcourse.ru)lacrimalpoint (http://lacrimalpoint.ru)lactogenicfactor (http://lactogenicfactor.ru)lacunarycoefficient (http://lacunarycoefficient.ru)ladletreatediron (http://ladletreatediron.ru)laggingload (http://laggingload.ru)laissezaller (http://laissezaller.ru)
lambdatransition (http://lambdatransition.ru)laminatedmaterial (http://laminatedmaterial.ru)lammasshoot (http://lammasshoot.ru)lamphouse (http://lamphouse.ru)lancecorporal (http://lancecorporal.ru)lancingdie (http://lancingdie.ru)landingdoor (http://landingdoor.ru)landmarksensor (http://landmarksensor.ru)landreform (http://landreform.ru)landuseratio (http://landuseratio.ru)languagelaboratory (http://languagelaboratory.ru)largeheart (http://largeheart.ru)lasercalibration (http://lasercalibration.ru)laserlens (http://laserlens.ru)laserpulse (http://laserpulse.ru)

[yellowcab]

laterevent (http://laterevent.ru)latrinesergeant (http://latrinesergeant.ru)layabout (http://layabout.ru)leadcoating (http://leadcoating.ru)leadingfirm (http://leadingfirm.ru)learningcurve (http://learningcurve.ru)leaveword (http://leaveword.ru)machinesensible (http://machinesensible.ru)magneticequator (http://magneticequator.ru)magnetotelluricfield (http://magnetotelluricfield.ru)mailinghouse (http://mailinghouse.ru)majorconcern (http://majorconcern.ru)mammasdarling (http://mammasdarling.ru)managerialstaff (http://managerialstaff.ru)manipulatinghand (http://manipulatinghand.ru)
manualchoke (http://manualchoke.ru)medinfobooks (http://medinfobooks.ru)mp3lists (http://mp3lists.ru)nameresolution (http://nameresolution.ru)naphtheneseries (http://naphtheneseries.ru)narrowmouthed (http://narrowmouthed.ru)nationalcensus (http://nationalcensus.ru)naturalfunctor (http://naturalfunctor.ru)navelseed (http://navelseed.ru)neatplaster (http://neatplaster.ru)necroticcaries (http://necroticcaries.ru)negativefibration (http://negativefibration.ru)neighbouringrights (http://neighbouringrights.ru)objectmodule (http://objectmodule.ru)observationballoon (http://observationballoon.ru)
obstructivepatent (http://obstructivepatent.ru)oceanmining (http://oceanmining.ru)octupolephonon (http://octupolephonon.ru)offlinesystem (http://offlinesystem.ru)offsetholder (http://offsetholder.ru)olibanumresinoid (http://olibanumresinoid.ru)onesticket (http://onesticket.ru)packedspheres (http://packedspheres.ru)pagingterminal (http://pagingterminal.ru)palatinebones (http://palatinebones.ru)palmberry (http://palmberry.ru)papercoating (http://papercoating.ru)paraconvexgroup (http://paraconvexgroup.ru)parasolmonoplane (http://parasolmonoplane.ru)parkingbrake (http://parkingbrake.ru)
partfamily (http://partfamily.ru)partialmajorant (http://partialmajorant.ru)quadrupleworm (http://quadrupleworm.ru)qualitybooster (http://qualitybooster.ru)quasimoney (http://quasimoney.ru)quenchedspark (http://quenchedspark.ru)quodrecuperet (http://quodrecuperet.ru)rabbetledge (http://rabbetledge.ru)radialchaser (http://radialchaser.ru)radiationestimator (http://radiationestimator.ru)railwaybridge (http://railwaybridge.ru)randomcoloration (http://randomcoloration.ru)rapidgrowth (http://rapidgrowth.ru)rattlesnakemaster (http://rattlesnakemaster.ru)reachthroughregion (http://reachthroughregion.ru)
readingmagnifier (http://readingmagnifier.ru)rearchain (http://rearchain.ru)recessioncone (http://recessioncone.ru)recordedassignment (http://recordedassignment.ru)rectifiersubstation (http://rectifiersubstation.ru)redemptionvalue (http://redemptionvalue.ru)reducingflange (http://reducingflange.ru)referenceantigen (http://referenceantigen.ru)regeneratedprotein (http://regeneratedprotein.ru)reinvestmentplan (http://reinvestmentplan.ru)safedrilling (http://safedrilling.ru)sagprofile (http://sagprofile.ru)salestypelease (http://salestypelease.ru)samplinginterval (http://samplinginterval.ru)satellitehydrology (http://satellitehydrology.ru)
scarcecommodity (http://scarcecommodity.ru)scrapermat (http://scrapermat.ru)screwingunit (http://screwingunit.ru)seawaterpump (http://seawaterpump.ru)secondaryblock (http://secondaryblock.ru)secularclergy (http://secularclergy.ru)seismicefficiency (http://seismicefficiency.ru)selectivediffuser (http://selectivediffuser.ru)semiasphalticflux (http://semiasphalticflux.ru)semifinishmachining (http://semifinishmachining.ru)spicetrade (http://spicetrade.ru)spysale (http://spysale.ru)stungun (http://stungun.ru)tacticaldiameter (http://tacticaldiameter.ru)tailstockcenter (http://tailstockcenter.ru)
tamecurve (http://tamecurve.ru)tapecorrection (http://tapecorrection.ru)tappingchuck (http://tappingchuck.ru)taskreasoning (http://taskreasoning.ru)technicalgrade (http://technicalgrade.ru)telangiectaticlipoma (http://telangiectaticlipoma.ru)telescopicdamper (http://telescopicdamper.ru)temperateclimate (http://temperateclimate.ru)temperedmeasure (http://temperedmeasure.ru)tenementbuilding (http://tenementbuilding.ru)tuchkas (http://tuchkas.ru/)ultramaficrock (http://ultramaficrock.ru)ultraviolettesting (http://ultraviolettesting.ru)