View Full Version : What am I getting myself into?
DKott25
03-21-2015, 05:08 PM
Before I elaborate I'll first say I have decided to backpack as many call it across the U.S. Not across per-say, I have not decided where I want to go yet. I'm in the beginning stages of research and finding the best fit. I am doing this for different reasoning than most. I don't want to get in grave detail but I want to throw out the basics to give you a general idea of why I made this decision. I've had severe social anxiety my entire life on top of drug and alcohol addiction. Through the course of it all I've done every possible treatment available times 10. I need to try something different and I came up with a quite different approach to treating the severity of my issues. I can't fully explain to you why I believe this may work but it's not an impulsive decision. "If" I can survive this journey I believe I will come out a different person. What no treatment facility, hospital, therapist, or medication could accomplish.
I will be researching and reading for the next two weeks morning to night. I am not going to get up and leave without having every possible obstacle, danger, threat, etc covered. I have enough money to buy all the supplies to begin the journey but that is all. I have $1000 to my name and nothing more which will mostly be used on supplies before the trek begins. I will basically be going in head on without money. I understand the dangers I will be facing. Or at least the obvious dangers. Doing this without money is not smart. I fully understand that. But my current lifestyle is just as dangerous and I feel this adventure could help with my social anxiety as well as depression or whatever mental/psychological issues I have. I acknowledge the dangers but I feel, almost know it's something I have to do. Without you knowing where I'm backpacking it too it's harder to give advice. Anything will help, especially resources that could help with this journey.
hunter63
03-21-2015, 05:48 PM
Hunter63 saying Hey and Welcome.
Can you walk out the door?.....from where ever you are staying, in whatever part of whatever country, and be warm and dry for a day?
Or are you going to need gear?
Actually I think you are being completely unrealistic in this "project".....
Sounds like a movie out there right now.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Wild_(film)
Good luck on your journey,.... you are correct in thinking that details might help with advice.....I don't know where to even start.
kyratshooter
03-21-2015, 06:26 PM
It does not matter how far you walk, crawl, drive or fly your "issues" will still be with you.
In fact, on the road they are often amplified.
We found a guy that tried what you are doing near my home a couple of years back. He had died of exposure, in his tent, in a wooded patch beside the interstate. Apparently he had been dead for a couple of years. He was remarkably well preserved, almost mummified.
madmax
03-21-2015, 07:40 PM
You won't lose the addictions. You may develop coping skills. I say atta boy and go for it. Feel free to pm me for support. Anything I can help with. Been there done that. Stand strong.
wilderness medic
03-21-2015, 08:05 PM
Your name wouldn't happen to be Cheryl would it? :whistling:
Doing this without money is not smart.
So why even consider it? You're reasoning above doesn't justify your statement. And two weeks to research everything and buy all your gear is a bit of a pipe dream don't you think?
crashdive123
03-22-2015, 11:43 AM
I applaud your efforts to make a course correction in your life. By making the drastic change that you are thinking of you may remove yourself from some of the destructive influences in your life. That can be a good thing. Keep in mind that you will still be an addict - that struggle will never change. You may get better at coping with it, but that "beast" will always be there.
We often have people join the forum to get advice on running off to the woods because they are sick of society, when in reality it is their inner demons that are controlling their lives. In those cases the problems can intensify as all of the problems are packed for the trip, but none of the filters come along.
Good luck - it will be a long and tough journey. If we can help, let us know.
Auban
03-22-2015, 12:54 PM
i did something kinda like this... i went off into a swamp and just got away from everything for a while. a few months.
it didnt make any difference with the issues i had going on at the time, but it did seem like i knew myself better afterwords. i ended up cutting my stay short by a couple weeks because i got lazy one day and drank swampy water that hadnt quite boiled yet.
never been so sick in my life...
DKott25
03-23-2015, 03:37 PM
I had planned for these responses. First off yes, I have seen "Wild". Great movie but the complete opposite of my situation and reasoning. Cheryl was running away from her problems. I'm facing them. I've lived my entire life in fear. Snakes being one of them. I have a deeper fear of snakes than most so currently I am working on overcoming that before I make this trek. While on that subject, any tips on facing that fear? Once an addict always an addict. I know that. It's not about addiction, running away, or whatever most believe I'm doing. I'm doing this for reasons that not many if any at all have done it for. Reasons I can't explain or don't feel necessary to explain. Though addiction plays a role in this decision it's not my main goal in the expedition. I've always loved the quote...long before "Into the Wild" was made. "And I also know how important it is in life not necessarily to be strong but to feel strong, to measure yourself at least once, to find yourself at least once in the most ancient of human conditions, facing blind, deaf stone alone, with nothing to help you but your own hands and your own head".
Is it unrealistic? Yes. Are the odds against me? Yes. But it's not something I feel the need to do or want to do, it's something I have to do.
wilderness medic
03-23-2015, 03:57 PM
Now that it seems you're serious and not a troll.
1. Wild was a terrible movie.
2. Go see some friendly snakes at the pet store and hold them. It's just a big worm, nothing to be scared of....
3. Besides getting over a fear of snakes, how is this facing your problems? It still seems like running to me. Sure it can be therapeutic, but its not something to do with a cloudy head.
4. Stick around and ask a bunch Of questions.
kyratshooter
03-23-2015, 04:03 PM
You are quoting "Into The Wild" ??
You do realize that Mc Candless died ?
You say this is something you HAVE to do,,,,,
What if you fail?
Death is one result.
The other is realization that you can not deal with your shortcomings on your own and do not trust any person or thing to assist you, therefore there is no hope.
Now that's a scary thought...
hunter63
03-23-2015, 04:16 PM
Still don't see anything to go on...or help you with.
DKott25
03-23-2015, 04:23 PM
Now that it seems you're serious and not a troll.
1. Wild was a terrible movie.
2. Go see some friendly snakes at the pet store and hold them. It's just a big worm, nothing to be scared of....
3. Besides getting over a fear of snakes, how is this facing your problems? It still seems like running to me. Sure it can be therapeutic, but its not something to do with a cloudy head.
4. Stick around and ask a bunch Of questions.
I'm wanting to get over my fear of snakes because I will be coming across many along the way. It has nothing to do with facing my problems. It's simply just something I'm planning ahead for. I actually worked at a pet store for 7 years. My morning task was to attend to the animals. Always had someone else tend to the snake. Thought I tried twice to hold it. Both times I passed out.
Yes I know he died. I don't know how accurate the movie is so I make assumptions about the truth but going solely off the movie what he did I would never do. I will not stray to deep from society. I will cross an area where I feel I may get lost or become trapped. I will not go to deep into the woods. I have maps of every state. I have in depth maps on my phone that doesn't require network connection. I can use GPS without having any internet connection. In the end, without understand my situation in depth and why I feel this is necessary it's hard for anyone to truly understand my logic and reasoning. Of course you will see this as illogical and unreasonable. From where you are standing I understand why.
crashdive123
03-23-2015, 04:27 PM
I don't profess to know the answer, but there are a lot of options for overcoming the fear of snakes. I couldn't tell you what works and what doesn't - just throwing it out there. https://www.google.com/webhp?sourceid=chrome-instant&rlz=1C1GGGE_enUS434&ion=1&espv=2&ie=UTF-8#q=how%20to%20get%20over%20a%20fear%20of%20snakes
DKott25
03-23-2015, 04:28 PM
Still don't see anything to go on...or help you with.
You're right, I'm not giving much for you to go off of. I guess I can ask for suggestions on where to go. I haven't decided what state I want to go to. A state known for being friendly and welcoming. One that isn't as dangerous as a state like Arizona. One that consists of beauty, nature, etc...until I decide where I am going it's hard to truly begin my research.
hunter63
03-23-2015, 04:39 PM
Well, good luck...you seem to want to keep this a big secret, or don't know yet.......
I guess I would have wait till had something to discuss before bring it up.
May a fair wind and sunshine be at your back on your travels.......and carry a snake stick, (everyone outa carry a stick, to use as you see fit.)
Lamewolf
03-23-2015, 05:05 PM
You need to watch the movie "Into the Wild" ! A true story about what can happen to folks that take on such a feat without proper training and skills. Doing things that way can and will kill you !
DKott25
03-23-2015, 07:01 PM
You need to watch the movie "Into the Wild" ! A true story about what can happen to folks that take on such a feat without proper training and skills. Doing things that way can and will kill you !
Actually I've seen it about 10 times. It's an inspiration to me. While what I am doing dangerous and potentially fatal I am not taking the same approach as Christopher McCandles. I say two weeks of research and obviously that is not enough. Though the two weeks consists of over 12-13 hours a day of research. I do have some basic knowledge. I was homeless for a year and I built a shelter, more-so a fortress in the woods. It took me at least 140 hours to build and I did it without money. Different scenario than what I will be venturing out to do because I did a lot of dumpster diving and logging two by fours, wood, computer desks, whatever I could find to create a secure and firm shelter. It consisted of many layers of walling. Two layers of wood, 1 layer of branches, sticks, and various things from the woods. 2 layers of cardboard, 1 layer of thick high end insulation I found thrown away. Than ending with numerous rotations of surround wrap followed by branches and sticks covering all of it as camouflage. I checked on it for the first time in 7 months and it's the same way I left it. It was a brutal winter here and not a drop of water or snow got inside. No animal got inside. It can survive just about anything and will probably be standing to the day I die. It blocked out the cold. I slept inside many times in -20 to -30 degree weather. Anyways, I learned some basic skills during that time. I am also a perfectionist. If in two weeks I feel I don't have every possible obstacle or danger covered I will not leave until I do. I will leave no stone unturned. Christopher McCandles did things I would never do. He didn't take any proper precautions. The movie inspires me though. In ways most wouldn't understand. I guess in the end it's more about my anxiety and fear that has held me back from doing anything in my life. I've been to over 20-25 treatment facilities, 15 therapists, and on and on. It just did not work. This is my way crazy idea of overcoming what has held me back for so long and I believe it will work. Will it work? It may, it may not. Will I survive? I may, I may not. But it's a risk I'm willing to take.
1stimestar
03-23-2015, 09:44 PM
"And I also know how important it is in life not necessarily to be strong but to feel strong, to measure yourself at least once, to find yourself at least once in the most ancient of human conditions, facing blind, deaf stone alone, with nothing to help you but your own hands and your own head".
Is it unrealistic? Yes. Are the odds against me? Yes. But it's not something I feel the need to do or want to do, it's something I have to do.
Heh, I had that as my signature line somewhere for a long time.
randyt
03-23-2015, 09:51 PM
there's always the AT, you could start about anywhere but I prefer Tennessee. The AT went by my parents house, at the road there was Uncle Johnnys hostel. I think it cost 19 dollars a night to stay there.
crashdive123
03-23-2015, 09:52 PM
We wish you well. If you have specific questions ask away.
finallyME
03-24-2015, 10:36 AM
I second the Appalachian Trail. Great starting point. Either start south or north and go the other direction until you finish or want to stop.
hunter63
03-24-2015, 11:06 AM
Tuck an extra $50 dollar bill, folded up, under your boot insert....for emergencies.
Also work well in some fast food places......Order your food...(when you get tired of roots, berries and dried stuff).
Then when you go to pay....pat all your pockets, looking for money....Then proclaim loudly....." I guess I have to use my emergency fund"...take off your boot, and hand them the sweaty bill.
After they say '''eeeeeeeeeew" they mostly say...."Just take it and go....... "
Auban
03-24-2015, 11:32 AM
You sound like someone trying to "wake up", if that makes any sense.
You sound like I did when I disappeared in the swamp. But, what I was really trying to get at was being comfortable in my own skin. I grew up in a... troubled home. My mother suffers from dissociative personality disorder and we were dirt poor after my father left the air force. Ah, my dear sweet mother... she was great when she wasn't trying to kill us...
Anyway, extreme anxiety, panic attacks to the point of passing out, lots of issues growing up. Staying in the woods didn't fix it.
I started focusing on my own behavior. And learned to stop caring about how I was feeling, and focused on doing, regardless of how I felt.
I would say that it wasn't until I was in Iraq that I finally started to overcome my issues.
So far as overcoming fear, watch this : http://www.ted.com/talks/amy_cuddy_your_body_language_shapes_who_you_are?la nguage=en
Then go and expose yourself to pet snakes and accept that it makes you anxious as can be. That's fine. If you feel like passing out, that's fine too. Manipulate one with a stick, just move it back and forth a bit. It will make you want to go into a panic attack. The goal is to do more each time. After you manipulate it, go do something to calm yourself down. The next time, set your goal a little higher. Use the stick to pick it up and move it.
Each time you push your boundaries, laugh as hard as you can. Laugh at the insanity of the strong reaction you feel, and out of pride for the fact that you just did something you have never done before.
I was never afraid of snakes, but I was terrified of hights. Hights still makes my arse hole crawl up to the back of my throat, but that doesn't bother me too much anymore. I know I can handle hights now.
And a book you might want to read is "Awareness", by Anthony DeMello.
Good luck on your trip. Stay near civilization and make sure you can always get out when you want to or need to. Chances are, something will go wrong eventually.
hunter63
03-24-2015, 11:43 AM
Auban... well said and excellent advice.......seems like you have been there and back, as those words can't come frm some one that hasn't been there.
Thanks for posting and rep you way.
Arctic Fox
03-24-2015, 12:35 PM
I often dream of taking to the woods and living off the land, but my reason would be to "escape" the complicated everyday life. I guess you just have to search and find why you are really leaving, and if you are really facing your fears or running. On the other hand, the isolation from the alchohol and drugs might do good, but when you return the temptation will still be there. I guess im trying to say the idea isn't bad, but it would also have to be coupled with a spiritual or emotional journey to help you truly accomplish a rehabilitation.
I support your idea and often wish I could take off and do something of the same nature, but just ask yourself what it will accomplish, and how you can strive to accomplish that goal.
As far as survival, I think food would be the biggest problem as far as staying properly nourished and healthy. Maybe get a book on wild edibles? Not sure about getting protein though. Nuts would be one way, but meat may be difficult. Hope this helps
Lamewolf
03-24-2015, 01:24 PM
Actually I've seen it about 10 times. It's an inspiration to me. While what I am doing dangerous and potentially fatal I am not taking the same approach as Christopher McCandles. I say two weeks of research and obviously that is not enough. Though the two weeks consists of over 12-13 hours a day of research. I do have some basic knowledge. I was homeless for a year and I built a shelter, more-so a fortress in the woods. It took me at least 140 hours to build and I did it without money. Different scenario than what I will be venturing out to do because I did a lot of dumpster diving and logging two by fours, wood, computer desks, whatever I could find to create a secure and firm shelter. It consisted of many layers of walling. Two layers of wood, 1 layer of branches, sticks, and various things from the woods. 2 layers of cardboard, 1 layer of thick high end insulation I found thrown away. Than ending with numerous rotations of surround wrap followed by branches and sticks covering all of it as camouflage. I checked on it for the first time in 7 months and it's the same way I left it. It was a brutal winter here and not a drop of water or snow got inside. No animal got inside. It can survive just about anything and will probably be standing to the day I die. It blocked out the cold. I slept inside many times in -20 to -30 degree weather. Anyways, I learned some basic skills during that time. I am also a perfectionist. If in two weeks I feel I don't have every possible obstacle or danger covered I will not leave until I do. I will leave no stone unturned. Christopher McCandles did things I would never do. He didn't take any proper precautions. The movie inspires me though. In ways most wouldn't understand. I guess in the end it's more about my anxiety and fear that has held me back from doing anything in my life. I've been to over 20-25 treatment facilities, 15 therapists, and on and on. It just did not work. This is my way crazy idea of overcoming what has held me back for so long and I believe it will work. Will it work? It may, it may not. Will I survive? I may, I may not. But it's a risk I'm willing to take.
Sounds like you've really thought this through and even practiced it quite a bit too. Doing it without money, I would study up on edible plants for the areas you will be moving through as hunting and trapping have laws that could get you in hot water otherwise. But there is always the chance you will witness fresh road kill I guess. Be careful and prosper !
DKott25
03-25-2015, 04:06 PM
Well, I'm glad to say I faced my fear of snakes. I went to a pet store and told them my situation. It took me 2 hours to build up the courage but eventually I held a ball python. After that the guy said he had a full grown ball python in the back. He than came out with a tied up bag and I'm just like....****. He pulled out this snake and I backed off quite quickly and had to step out of the store. But came back in and than held that snake as well. It was empowering to face such a deep fear. I faced it but haven't overcame it. The fear is still there. I just have to keep doing it until the fear is no longer existent.
DKott25
03-25-2015, 04:11 PM
Also lets say I decide to hike the Appalachian trail or American Discovery Trail. I live in Illinois. So how would that work? I would have to hike all the way to beginning of trail before I can.....begin the trail. American Discovery Trail passes through Illinois but I want to start at the beginning.
There is a northern and southern American Discovery Trail through Illinois. You don't say which end of Illinois you live in. However, there is no way to hike from Illinois to either end of the AT AND hike the AT in one season. That's not doable.
DKott25
03-25-2015, 04:53 PM
There is a northern and southern American Discovery Trail through Illinois. You don't say which end of Illinois you live in. However, there is no way to hike from Illinois to either end of the AT AND hike the AT in one season. That's not doable.
Regardless though if I entered the trail from Illinois I wouldn't be hiking the entire trail. I'd be cheating myself by starting in the middle of the trail correct?
Auban
03-25-2015, 06:45 PM
Well, I'm glad to say I faced my fear of snakes. I went to a pet store and told them my situation. It took me 2 hours to build up the courage but eventually I held a ball python. After that the guy said he had a full grown ball python in the back. He than came out with a tied up bag and I'm just like....****. He pulled out this snake and I backed off quite quickly and had to step out of the store. But came back in and than held that snake as well. It was empowering to face such a deep fear. I faced it but haven't overcame it. The fear is still there. I just have to keep doing it until the fear is no longer existent.
NO!!! changing how you feel is like trying to change how the wind feels on your face. your goal should not be to feel no fear. thats not the point. your goal should be to know that you can do anything you want, regardless of how you feel.
im terrified of heights, but i jump out of helicopters and airplanes all the time. you wont find empowerment from simply not feeling fear. you will find it from knowing that you can do it ANYWAY...
its behavior, the first step in learning true awareness. your behavior influences your environment, and other people. ever felt like the world was against you? that is when you know you are paying TOO MUCH attention to your environment. or rather, you put to much faith in it. the way people act around you and the way animals and the environment around you present themselves to you has more to do with what YOU do than it does with what the environment is. didnt break your leg? its because you chose to take a safer route. other people walked on you? its because you never provided them with consequences for their actions.
held a snake without freaking out? its because you decided to just do it. the day wasnt special, you just decided to do it and accept the fear that would come. THAT is how you change. that is how you change both yourself and the things and people around you. by DOING.
keep it up.
Billy13426
03-25-2015, 07:19 PM
make sure to bring books on wild edibles and a good pot for cooking and a sawyer mini water filter. you dont need the water filter but you can drink water without having to boil it and could save you a lot of time and hassle as well. Be sure to bring several methods to start fire including lighter matches and a ferro rod. You are going to also want to bring a good amount of shelter (a tarp, tent, wool blanket, MSS sleep system,sleeping bag,etc.) Make sure to pack spare socks and a good pair of hiking boots or shoes depending on your preference. Enjoy your Journey
DKott25
03-25-2015, 07:21 PM
I completely understand your point Auban. I just don't want to face a poisonous snake and panic resulting in getting bit which could have been avoided if I wasn't terrified of snakes. I'm just trying to prepare for all this as best as I can. I felt handling a snake was part of that.
Billy13426
03-25-2015, 07:22 PM
Oh and make sure to bring a first aid kit with steri strips and bandaids as well as athletics tape to hold on large bandages. Don't forget your (Stainless Steel) water bottle either.
DKott25
03-25-2015, 07:29 PM
Why is it I hear so much about the Appalachian trail yet rarely hear anything or have a harder time finding deeper info on the American Discovery Trail?
crashdive123
03-25-2015, 07:42 PM
I realize that your fear of snakes is a real thing, but don't let it dampen your spirits. I hike a lot in Florida and do not see snakes all that often. Being aware of the possibility and on the lookout for them while hiking will allow you to avoid them and take a wide enough berth so that they don't bother you.
I thought you meant hiking to the AT from Illinois and starting at the trailhead for the AT.
DKott25
03-25-2015, 08:04 PM
I thought you meant hiking to the AT from Illinois and starting at the trailhead for the AT.
No. Hiking the Appalachian Trail without money is quite unrealistic as it is let alone hiking to the trail from Illinois and than hiking the trail after that. I have no knowledge on these trails because hiking a trail was not my original plan but I think it's what I may end up doing. So with that being said the trail goes from Maine to Georgia or vice versa. How would you suggest I get to to either state from Illinois to venture into this trail? Train, bus...etc. What are my cheapest options? And than of course I have to think about what I will do if I make it through the trail. I won't have money for transportation to get back to Illinois. I may end up just staying there. Which would be alright with me because before I considered doing the AT Georgia was actually the state I wanted to backpack too.
Auban
03-25-2015, 08:07 PM
awareness...
i might as well explain what i am talking about. when i say awareness, i mean knowing what the cause and effect is. of everything.
in order to explain that, i have to start with the lowest level: your environment. those who are locked in this level are the ones who say that the stars just haven't lined up, things are out of their control. they blame society, their upbringing, their parents, the oppressive school system, society, etc. for their failings. or rather, their feelings of inadequacy. they see how their environment make life hard for them. didnt get promoted? my boss is racist. got fired from my job? my boss just doesnt like me because im a woman. failed relationship? that b!tch was just crazy.
see where im getting at? those locked at the first level of awareness blame everyone else for their maladies. why? because they honestly believe that there is nothing they can do about it. things just are what they are.
the next level of awareness is behavior. knowing how your behavior influences others. fr insance, instead of focusing how people around you are racist, focus on what you can actually do. if you score the highest on a test and someone of a different race gets picked for the job, are you helpless? well, you are if you are not willing to push the issue up to the highest level. or if you are not willing to let the company know that they will be exposed for their racism. this is how understanding behavior can influence your environment, which is the lowest level of awareness.
so lets say you get used to using your behavior to influence your environment? what, about you, changes? is it your abilities? truth be told, you were always able to challenge a company, racism, sexism, etc. so what changes?
the short answer is that your abilities change. the things you are capable of doing. could you hold a snake before? could you hold a snake when you believed that you could not do it without passing out? no. you may still believe that you will pass out with a more aggressive snake. and thats fine. but, if you decide to handle one anyway, and do it, you will KNOW that you are capable of doing it. because you already did. do you see how your behavior influences your abilities? a child who plays catch all day long will naturally be a good catcher. why? because he does it so much! it is no different for you. hold snakes a lot, and you will know that you can handle it. you will know that you are capable of it. do you see how your behavior influences your abilities?
the next level is beliefs. where does that come from? naturally, it come from your abilities. for instance, the bible says that you should not look at another woman in lust. well, if you have never actually spent some time actively avoiding the act of passing a lustful glance at a woman, would you believe that it is possible? or, in your case, would you believe that you can handle a wild snake if you have never actually forced yourself to do so? you manipulated your behavior, and now you know that you can hold a ball python. just imagine what you would feel confident doing if you managed to go out and do it!
this is how your behaviors influence your abilities, and how your abilities influence your beliefs. if you know that you can learn something new, you will BELIEVE that you can learn something new. hence, you will believe that you are capable of anything.
and all of this influences the self. the ego, the spirit. the highest level. which is, who we choose to be. knowing that our behavior can change so much, we can choose to act a certain way in order to influence our environment, gain new capabilities, thereby changing our beliefs. and knowing that we can do that allows us to choose who we are. thats the highest level, knowing how to influence everything about ourselves to turn ourselves into the person we WANT to be.
so, when i say awareness, this is what i mean.
randyt
03-25-2015, 08:28 PM
Eustace Conway hiked the AT with very little money.
DKott25
03-25-2015, 08:36 PM
I appreciate and acknowledge your insight Auban. You are very intelligent. Belief has always been a big issue for me. I won't get into grave detail regarding that cause I certainly don't want this to become a religious debate. Belief is extremely important. It's the first step and the hardest step to achieving anything. Believing is harder than the actions required for that achievement. I can believe I can hold I snake, and I did. I believed I had the willpower and courage. I can believe I will overcome my addiction. I can believe I will have a bright future. I can even believe I will conquer my social anxiety and phobia. But belief resides in the future, not the the present. At least in my case. I've felt hopeless my entire life because no one could help me with my social anxiety which is deeply severe. So severe I couldn't imagine having a future. But, I must choose to believe that the day will come when I can at the very least cope with it. But generalized anxiety and social anxiety are very different. I can believe, take action, and face whatever fear I have such as snakes head on but it doesn't work that way with social phobia. I face my social fears head on every single day. Be it at work, the library, going to the store, or simply leaving the house. I feel like doing something adventurous, risk taking, and possibly death defying may give me such accomplishment and empowerment it could possibly be the treatment I've sought out for my entire life. I can believe one day I will defeat my socialized anxiety but believing doesn't change the present. It doesn't change the physical, emotional, psychological, and mental effects I have when in social settings. I can use cognitive thinking, breathing exercises, etc but it doesn't change anything. It's hard to fully explain what I'm trying to say. Either way, it's not at this time relevant.
Auban
03-25-2015, 08:47 PM
here is the thing... the way you feel in any given situation says no more about you than the way the wind feels against your face.
what you do, on the other hand, says everything. anybody living your life would feel the exact same way you feel in the same situation. so, in that sense, you completely normal. you just have a fvcked up background, which led to fvcked up emotional responses to life.
who gives a sh!t, besides you? you can still DO whatever you want.
Iskander
03-27-2015, 01:09 AM
I missed out on most of the discussion but first of all, to your question as where to go and wanting a good nature-like place, you should go to the natural state, where I am! We have snakes here too, but no more than the rest of the Midwest. My main 'critter' fear is scorpions, and I hate wasps too. But who doesn't? I had a ball python for several years, it was the friendliest most docile creature I've ever owned. When he was a baby he was a right nasty little bastard. Took him quite awhile to really warm up to people, but he (or she, never found out) finally did. The thing about you holding a young one but really freaking out over the bigger one is backwards. And really you need to rewire your fear mechanism on this. I'm sure you likely already know that baby snakes will inject more venom than older ones. And the little ones in the pet store are probably much more likely to strike than the big ones. But if it did strike, would it really be that big of a deal? It's quicker than any shot you've ever had, and you probably won't get hurt much more than one either. The constrictors kill by wrapping up prey and squeezing them, which they obviously can't do to you. Have you ever ran into snakes in the wild? They're really very easy to kill (and then eat, since all snakes are edible). You might also want to learn the snakes in the area you plan to be in, so you will know if a snake is poisonous or not should you happen to encounter one in the wild (which you undoubtedly will). You are FAR higher than a snake on the food chain, remember that.
When do you plan on leaving? How long have you been thinking about this?
Auban
03-27-2015, 07:58 AM
That bit about baby snakes injecting more venom than adult snakes is false... they just don't have as much to deliver.
But they are more likely to bite some one... because people are more likely to mess with them. I have been bitten by a few venous snakes, all small ones. Why? False sense of security, I got sloppy, etc. The results were a painfully swollen spot that healed without medical intervention. Fortunately, I dont go into anaphylactic shock. Or rather, I didnt. That reaction can develop with repeated exposure.
I SERIOUSLY doubt the results would be the same had I been bitten by a large 5 foot eastern diamond back.
Snakes don't really bother you if you don't bother them. I have only ever been bitten by a snake when I was messing with them. I have never been bitten just walking by.
So if your afraid of snakes, just leaving them alone will usually keep you safe. And if not, they are very easy to kill. Just remember that they can still bite after being brutalized to death. There was a fire fighter in Putnam County, florida, who found that out the hard way... shot a big rattlesnake, picked it up and got bit. It killed him.
Iskander
03-27-2015, 05:09 PM
The info I gave about baby snakes producing more venom could be wrong, maybe that's an urban (or rural) legend. But the story goes that while larger snakes do naturally have more venom they do not inject as much as the little ones who have not yet learned how much is required, and will inject as much as possible. Maybe it's wrong, I would like to learn for sure but I don't have time to look it up. Regardless like you said they're much more aggressive so he still needs to rewire his fear on this issue, if possible. Sounds like his mind is just getting in the way. When you obsess over something it just makes it worse. Perhaps you could try small dose benzos next time you are around friendly pet store snakes. I don't recommend this in the wild though! That's when the fear is important.
Auban
03-27-2015, 07:21 PM
its a common urban legend. i dont know if i have met a single person who hasnt heard it...
even if a baby snake injects all of its venom, it still cant pump out enough to match an adults bite(which typically deliver about a third of their venom in a feeding strike) but, we are talking about injecting around 10-15mg of venom(all a baby western diamond back has) as opposed to 100-300mg of venom( a third of the adults store). the minimum lethal dose for an average male human is about 100 milligrams.
there are some baby snakes that produce more potent venom then their adult counterparts(their diets change as they grow), but they are still far less dangerous than the adults. that said, always take any bite from a venomous snake seriously. i was stupid and reckless when i was a teenager. im lucky i didnt suffer worse.
and yes, baby snakes do seem to be a lot more aggressive. or perhaps a better word would be excitable. seems to go for all species, venomous or not.
edr730
03-28-2015, 01:27 AM
DKott, I don't know how you plan to travel. I can't imagine you walking down the rode and someone offering to give you a lift and you not accepting it or watching a slow moving train with an open boxcar open and you not thinking of jumping in.
I don't know what anxiety or your goal of adventure have to do with each other. You can think about it enough so it seems to make sense. I see it as that you have anxiety and you also have a goal for an adventure. I can't think any deeper than that. If it makes you happy just do it and you don't need any more reason than it's what you want. I've done it lots of times. You seem to know the risks. I guess you know that your biggest enemies out there will the ones you take with you.
DKott25
03-28-2015, 10:30 AM
I have a few things to say. First, I will not kill a snake. One moral standard I live by religiously is a passion for animals. Even though I'm terrified of snakes I couldn't kill one. Even it means life or death. Animals are my greatest passion. I could never harm an animal let alone kill it. On the topic of snakes I went to a different pet store. I held another ball python. But at the end of the day I felt discouraged because they had three other snakes that I couldn't build up courage to hold. The smaller ones scare me more than the larger ones. And these especially because they move too much. They had a corn snake, California king snake, and I can't remember the name of the other. I am not scared of getting bit. Unless of course it is poisonous. It's the way the move and more so when they do very quick movement. And the employee at the store said these snakes especially the king snake may and probably will strike. And their strike is so fast. Ball python I can do. But I feel discouraged as my goal was to take a step further holding a snake that was more active which I failed to do. While I still am going to do this trail I am stressed out beyond belief. As I said I won't have money. I'll have $700 to get gear and that is all. On average hikers spend $1100-$2000 before even beginning the trail and over $3000 throughout the trail. I have to be realistic. My situation is a catch 22. At this time I don't feel like expanding on that. I'm worn out. I haven't slept in 48 hours. I haven't been eating. I have 1,000 things on my mind. Ah, I just need a good nights sleep.
hunter63
03-28-2015, 12:13 PM
Sounds like you have a lot more to deal with than any of us....strangers on the internet can do to help you with.
More that dealing with snakes, having or not having enough money to do what you want...(everyone had that problem)....or worrying about not starting at the end of a trail or not.
Maybe look for some help locally?
Grizz123
03-28-2015, 12:55 PM
you can read all you want but you still wont have any skills. Get out, practice and gain experience which will improve the odds of you surviving
Auban
03-28-2015, 03:20 PM
Dkott25, get some sleep.
It is much much harder to take care of yourself when you are sleep deprived. Make it a habit of taking care of yourself BEFORE you try living in the wilderness.
Iskander
03-28-2015, 03:35 PM
So just to be clear, you want to make it on your own in the wild, not in the city, right? You have limited money and supplies for food, but you think you can do this without killing any animals. How long exactly do you plan on doing this for? Any food you bring with you will quickly be used up, and you make it sound like you want to do this alone, without the help from others. So what exactly do you plan to do for food? Even if you intimately knew the edible plants in whatever area you will be in (doubtful since you said you don't even know where you will end up) it still won't be enough to sustain you. What did you eat when you were homeless? Were you a picky vegetarian? Survival is about self-preservation and if you're out in the wild you can't be an animal lover and expect to live too long. I'm an animal lover too, but I know if I go out there on my own and expect to live through it I better be well prepared to not only kill animals for sustenance but to protect myself from animals too. If you think animals won't attack you because you like them and if you're prepared to give up your life by letting a poisonous snake strike you because you don't want to hurt it then I was wrong, you're not even higher than the snake on the food chain. That's the actual example you gave, you said you couldn't kill a snake even if it meant life or death. In other words you'd rather die than kill some random snake that wouldn't think twice about killing you. But this is just another idea of yours. You've obviously never been in that position. What if you were starving to death, would you kill a snake then? You'd be surprised what you would do for self-preservation as instinct and not even think about it. You can be sad later, but you'll also be alive. What if another human attacks you, are you not going to fight back because you're a lover not a fighter? I think I agree with what hunter said awhile back, you're being completely unrealistic. I think you watch too much tv. Every time someone brings up a movie that sounds like what you're planning to do you admit "yes of course I've watched that. Oh Into the Wild? I've watched that ten times, it inspires me." Don't tell me you draw a lot of your 'inspiration' from Man vs Wild too?
I'm just trying to be realistic here. Tough love. I hope it all works out for you. I don't want you to become another statistic by being unprepared and/or unrealistic in your 'journey' which you can't even explain why it is something "you just have to do" One last question which is serious and I thought about asking this from some of your first posts but decided not to. Do you have a death wish? Because some of the stuff you say it honestly sounds like you are trying to hit bottom over and over in your life and this is to be your last journey. Either you will rise up from the ashes like a heroic Phoenix and be a changed man or you will perish. Is that why you can't/won't explain your reasoning behind all this? That is the impression I got from your initial posts so please correct me if I'm wrong. I hope I am.
Auban
03-28-2015, 03:50 PM
Lol, I originally wanted to hike the AT. Got packed, prepared, got about 80 miles into the trip and then got blisters. That's when I decided "F this, I'm going back to the swamp!"
hunter63
03-28-2015, 04:16 PM
Lol, I originally wanted to hike the AT. Got packed, prepared, got about 80 miles into the trip and then got blisters. That's when I decided "F this, I'm going back to the swamp!"
Yeah, at some point......a carefully planed trip can turn into a "survival situation"......and even John Wayne can only take so much.....
You ain't the only one that has said, "screw this........what am I thinking?".
No shame in "surviving"
Auban
03-28-2015, 08:36 PM
i wouldnt have stopped if it werent for the blisters... continuing would have been insane. i had a lot of experience doing long distance running, but that was my first experience walking long distances with a load on my back. ruck marching is a bit different from ultramarathons... lol
the blisters i got were worse than the blisters i got in special forces assessment and selection. at the end of SFAS, one of the special forces medics looked at my feet(one of them was broken) and asked me if i was insane. why didnt i just throw in the towel when my feet started bleeding and swelling?
i just asked him "did you?". he just laughed and said "good point".
my experiences from my failed attempt to hike the AT are part of the reason i got selected. i knew how bad my feet could get, and i prepared for it. my feet still got messed up, but not nearly as bad.
That sure speaks volumes about properly fitted boots and knowing how to tie them. But it still happens. Despite our best efforts in the Tetons last fall both my wife and I lost big toe nails because of the downhill trek.
Auban
03-29-2015, 12:08 PM
yep... properly fitted boots makes a HUGE difference. and the worst part is that you have to go out and carry some weight in them to find out if it works in the long run.
boot type, size, socks, method of tying them... all of it makes a difference.
and water, there is nothing that will ruin your feet faster than being walked on while wet!
Batch
03-30-2015, 09:01 PM
The best way to deal with snakes is to respect them. A python is not usually a quick bite and release. They have a mouthful of very hooked long teeth. They will get locked on and we usually ran their heads under the shower till they released.
My experience was corn snakes and king snakes were not quick to bite. Black racers, coach-whips and the like bite more. The more calm and soft you hold them the less you get bit. But, I have seen and been bit by snakes that were calm for over a half hour and then just bit.
The firefighter in Putnam County was named Joe Guidry and he shot the snake 3 times before reaching for what he though was a dead snake.
http://www.gainesville.com/article/20051011/LOCAL/51010045?tc=ar
People killing snakes with guns amuse me. Why would you try to shoot a snake? If your carrying a big honking gun with snake shot, go learn about snakes. Folks telling me they killed a rattle snake at 15 feet do not impress me. That snake posed no threat to you if you saw it at all. Just stay away a safe distance.
Wear leather boots. No snake can bite through a pair of leather boots. The higher the more protection. But, on the trail ankle high leather boots are fine. Don't kneel down or reach with your bare hand until you have checked for snakes. You wanna get bit? Try and kill or capture one. You can accomplish both fairly easy. But, folks that are scared are usually more likely to screw up.
shiftyer1
03-31-2015, 12:15 AM
I can understand your fear of snakes, they give me the creeps also. I however have no problem killing one if need be but I wont be handling one anytime soon!
I wish you the best of luck in your journey, I often fantasize about traveling from Texas to Minnesota horseback but I doubt i'll ever do it.
Few critters consume more vermin than a snake. I've never had a problem with them and I've never killed one on purpose (I've hit a couple in the car). I use a walking stick to cross logs and such so if there is a snake on the other side they see the stick first before I step across. Otherwise, I just give them room and keep going. I don't have a problem with them around the house. One every now and then but they are non-poisonous so they don't bother me.
Auban
03-31-2015, 08:22 AM
I have never killed a snake that I didn't eat...
Ok, I take that back. one of the first snakes I owned was a hog nose snake. i fed it the wrong kind of food and it eventually died. Sad day.
I love snakes.
MrFixIt
03-31-2015, 02:48 PM
and water, there is nothing that will ruin your feet faster than being walked on while wet!
I had to be medivaced out of "Central America" because my feet stayed wet constantly. Actually had 1 pair of jungle boots rot off of my feet.
There was no way to keep them dry, and we couldn't stop long enough to dry our feet/socks.
To this day, I still have problems with them...
Auban
03-31-2015, 07:47 PM
I had to be medivaced out of "Central America" because my feet stayed wet constantly. Actually had 1 pair of jungle boots rot off of my feet.
There was no way to keep them dry, and we couldn't stop long enough to dry our feet/socks.
To this day, I still have problems with them...
i never got medivaced for my feet, but the 18D that treated my feet after i got done with selection told me that i would probably suffer life long problems from the damage i had done to my feet.
i DO have scars on my feet from it, but im not sure what effect it had... my feet crack pretty bad(to the point of bleeding around the scars) in iraq, but i always figured that was more or less normal. sweat all day and then expose your feet to the driest air around, they are bound to crack.
just out of curiosity, what are the problems you have nowadays with your feet?
hunter63
03-31-2015, 11:22 PM
Yo......DKott25....Y'all still with us?.....
xjosh40x
04-01-2015, 12:49 PM
I applaud you for wanting to face your issues. My advice is plan for at least 3 months. Safe to plan for 6 months to a year. Not only do you want to "survive" but have the gear and knowledge to enjoy the time. Staying in a cold wet tent without a fire because of improper planning will just result in misery and you'll cut your journey short and will never feel the accomplishment. Resulting in having the same issues, perhaps worse. Setting a large goal like this and achieving it will be an amazing experience you'll have forever. Not completing and you'll spend your time in regret.
Me personally, when I have a person tell me they have some deep issues they can't shake I say join the military. It'll change you for the better. But to each its own. If you're coming through mississippi PM me and I'll give you some route and advice.
Again, best of luck and comend you for wanting to better yourself and going the extra mile coming up with your own original solution
rebel
04-02-2015, 04:30 AM
...or, a little professional help : http://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/phobias/basics/definition/con-20023478
MrFixIt
04-02-2015, 09:14 AM
just out of curiosity, what are the problems you have nowadays with your feet?
They sweat profusely, and I don't generally remove my shoes in mixed company...the smell will gag a maggot on a gut truck...:dead:
I wash my feet daily with antibacterial soap, dry thoroughly and apply foot powder. I change the insoles in my shoes once a month.
And I go barefoot whenever I can. All of these things have helped tremendously, just a normal routine for me now.
Grizz123
04-02-2015, 09:45 AM
Have you tried chlorophyl pills to control odor?
If you haven't already, you might also see a board certified podiatrist. Your local VA should be able to refer you to one. Look for alpaca insoles. They are hypoallergenic. Just remove them each evening and let them dry overnight. They will mold to your feet after a few days of wearing them.
Awanita
04-02-2015, 03:13 PM
Ok, I have something to add, as a child I was afraid, deathly of snakes. Growing up in the woods and hunting I learned a very important lesson I don't have to have the b#### to pick them up to cure my fear. I better have the sense to know which snakes that can cause me harm....I dink and come across a king snake big deal clean up the wet spot and move on. If I come arcoss a moc, copper head or cotten mouth know to steer away....be aware of how to tell poisinious and non poisinous snakes. Also remember the deep south has snake that don't warn before they bite like Texas and other states with the rattle snake. It is good that you held a snake but better yet learn to idenify the ones that can harm you. Just saying, good luck. My son hiked the AT from the begining in Ga to the end. He was a big boy when he started, It sure toned him up. I want to say it took him and his girlfriend which he met on the trail and are now looking at a life time together. They just haven't set the date. It took them about 9 months or so. Peace, one last thing. In Native American culture we respect the animals of the planet, but we also know they provide for us many things such as food, clothing, shelter, tools and weapons. They will supply you with what you need. It is all part of natures balance. Respect them but if you have to use them, they know there place in the circle. Ok I am done rambling. Wado Awanita.
Awanita
04-02-2015, 03:21 PM
The ole Tetons around Jackson hole are a bugger. You did it in fall? it is a wonder you only lost a big toe nail. When I was living out there, we always had a call come in to search and rescue for someone who had gotten off the trail and lost. Mostly out of state hunters. teton, bighorn, windriver lol but the tetons are beautiful, I lived at the foothills of the Big horns. Lots of fun.
Solar Geek
04-02-2015, 03:52 PM
Yo......DKott25....Y'all still with us?.....
Hunter he has not been on since 3/30 @ 6:40 pm
I was going to suggest to him to perhaps re-orient his goals and help others. There are places quite remote that Habitat for Humanity works, and Applachian Service Project where you are way out of the way, you use skills you have and learn new ones, and can hike all over different places in your off time. For many people, it is the making of them. Just thinking out loud here.
hunter63
04-02-2015, 04:04 PM
Hunter he has not been on since 3/30 @ 6:40 pm
I was going to suggest to him to perhaps re-orient his goals and help others. There are places quite remote that Habitat for Humanity works, and Applachian Service Project where you are way out of the way, you use skills you have and learn new ones, and can hike all over different places in your off time. For many people, it is the making of them. Just thinking out loud here.
I suspect he has moved on......That was just a shout out to see if he is still around.
A lot of people that ask these kind of questions, to strangers on an open public forum....Have more going on than the OP suggests.
Or so it seems.....
...or trolling, which I suspect he was.
hunter63
04-02-2015, 06:03 PM
.........yeah, well...there is that......
But Hey.....snake info and stinky feet......far out, man.....
Sounds like a deep thoughts session at the saloon....on a Tuesday night....Taco Nite.....LOL
Awanita
04-03-2015, 09:49 AM
I thought it sounded a little strange. There were things that just didn't add up. You have to face your problems, can't run from them. I find that they follow you lol. But each their own.
Auban
04-03-2015, 09:48 PM
They sweat profusely, and I don't generally remove my shoes in mixed company...the smell will gag a maggot on a gut truck...:dead:
I wash my feet daily with antibacterial soap, dry thoroughly and apply foot powder. I change the insoles in my shoes once a month.
And I go barefoot whenever I can. All of these things have helped tremendously, just a normal routine for me now.
ok, the sweating thing was actually the very thing i was wondering about. my toes always look(from underneath and in between) like they are rotting from athletes foot. nothing i have ever tried has helped with that.
the constant sweating is the biggest reason i had problems with my feet in iraq. they sweat all day, then dry out so fast at night that my feet crack. i eventually learned to soak my feet and scrape/scrub all the dead skin off before i slept. then i would add some kind of cream or such to my feet to keep them from drying out and cracking during the night. bag balm works pretty good for that. the botoms of my feet develop a bunch of dry flaky skin that pretty much turns into a nasty mush when i soak my feet and scrub them. but, the dry flakiness only shows up in the middle of my sole. i have no idea if thats normal. not really something i ask about on a regular basis...
i wasnt sure if the nasty foot issue was a result of messing up your feet...
anyone else have nasty feet who DIDNT mess their feet up at some point?
I just threw up in my mouth a little.
You can use an antiperspirant on your feet just like you do your underarms.
Auban
04-05-2015, 01:48 PM
I have, but it doesnt help. I'm not even sure my feet are sweating... more like they ooze through the skin. Kinda like the skin just liquifies.
And I'm sorry if it makes you sick reading that. It Is what it is. Anti perspirant results in a nasty mix of smells with little, if any, benefit.
hayshaker
04-05-2015, 06:39 PM
icky feet oh yeah had,en since i was a teen, gold bond change daily wash at night with peroxide
soaop in morning.six months at a time in the rainy season livin in a tent.oh yeah know what you mean.
btw Mrfixit boots falling off your feet been there too.funny thing i went in with combat jungle boots
came out with slippers. no kidding kauai,1990
DKott25
04-07-2015, 07:49 PM
Yo......DKott25....Y'all still with us?.....
Ya I'm here. I have just been busy and the past week a few things have occurred in my life that brought me a lot of distress. Maybe it's just me but it seems like when something bad happens there is always chain reaction of things happening at once. I guess it's better that way than spread out. Anyways, this isn't a psychological and therapeutic forum so I won't get into all that. I'm just a sticky situation that feels like a catch 22. I want, rather need to hike this trail. I know so many do things such at this to escape. It's the opposite for me. I quite expressing my issues and situations because throughout the years I've grown tired of therapists not being able to understand or how to help me. All I ever receive is "you are so intelligent, have so much potential, you have have fascinating mind". But they can never understand my mind. I feel like I'm always talking to myself. It's frustrating and depressing when no one understands. I examined it rationally and decided to hold off until I have more money. In order for that to happen I need a job. I can't a hold down a job due to my severe social anxiety and other issues. That is why I decided to set off on this trail. My own idea of remedy and treatment. Why I believe this can help me is something I can explain but I know myself. But as I said I need a job, which will be very hard for me. I will also be homeless in two days. I received my tax returns but 80% will go to my roommate for rent and for an expensive back he lent me that was stolen. I'm just very stressed out. I was excited about this adventure but I feel discouraged knowing it won't happen, at least for now. But that is life and I believe pain defines you so I just have to keep fighting one day I will be rewarded for the pain I've had to go through.
crashdive123
04-07-2015, 08:05 PM
Don't give up on your dreams. Keep working toward and making progress to your ultimate goal.
hunter63
04-07-2015, 09:07 PM
Glad to see you are still with us...and trying to work your way through it.....
We were concerned for you.
MrFixIt
04-08-2015, 07:00 AM
Just take one day at a time DKott.
Celebrate the small things, and try to stay positive. I'm sure you have heard that a thousand times, but we really are concerned.
Solar Geek
04-08-2015, 04:59 PM
Dkott, if you are in IL why don't you start (cheaply for sure) with the ICE AGE TRAIL IN WI http://www.iceagetrail.org/trail-maps-guidebooks/ ?
It also follows the Glacial Drumlin trail for part of it, which I have been on. http://dnr.wi.gov/topic/parks/name/iceagetrail/
These are easily doable and you could break them up. Safe, beautiful scenery and you CAN get to the start by taking Greyhound from IL to one of the cities near the trail.
At least you would be hiking a great starter trail. FWIW.
hunter63
04-08-2015, 08:01 PM
SG...Thanks for bring this up.
I have done a little hiking on that trail out by Whitewater....but never realized how long it really is.
Even living here in Wisconsin, we don't hear much about it.
More heard about is the AT trail....LOL.
Guess we need some more publicity.....
Auban
04-09-2015, 10:53 PM
DKott25,
when you say "it feels like your talking to yourself", what do you mean?
there are several layers of awareness, and when people start thinking in the next higher level, i often hear that. for instance, one level of consciousness seems to always be watching the lowest level, the one that feels emotions. it is aware of the surroundings and emotions being felt, but is unaffected by them.
this duality often provides what seems like a conflict of self. hence, talking to yourself. the reason for the conflict is because we tend to identify with how we feel instead of what we choose to do(ie, who we choose to be).
i started noticing it, that the part of me that watches me is unaffected by my emotions, when lying in a hospital bed recovering from simultaneous liver and kidney failure. i noticed that not a single doctor trying to revive me could tell i was still in there... they thought i was dead.
seems intuitive, but thats when i realized just how much i identified with my emotional reactions, which were usually triggered by other people, hence why i always felt like i was never really in control of myself.
anyway, just throwing stuff out there from my own past. feel free to ignore it if it doesnt make any sense.
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Comp (http://habeascorpus.ru/t/628971)Pers (http://habituate.ru/t/629005)Прои (http://hackedbolt.ru/t/334003)трек (http://hackworker.ru/t/624545)Love (http://hadronicannihilation.ru/t/624090)Стеб (http://haemagglutinin.ru/t/622219)MPEG (http://hailsquall.ru/t/139640)John (http://hairysphere.ru/t/449400)Orea (http://halforderfringe.ru/t/561054)Kiwi (http://halfsiblings.ru/t/561768)серт (http://hallofresidence.ru/t/561981)Korr (http://haltstate.ru/t/449406)Korr (http://handcoding.ru/t/565314)Бран (http://handportedhead.ru/t/660368)Comp (http://handradar.ru/t/561402)
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Горо (http://heavydutymetalcutting.ru/t/307525)Irwi (http://jacketedwall.ru/t/296674)Моло (http://japanesecedar.ru/t/304578)теле (http://jibtypecrane.ru/t/601992)PS14 (http://jobabandonment.ru/t/602719)Serg (http://jobstress.ru/t/602684)авто (http://jogformation.ru/t/606219)Thom (http://jointcapsule.ru/t/550089)паро (http://jointsealingmaterial.ru/t/553895)Шевч (http://journallubricator.ru/t/141680)Chan (http://juicecatcher.ru/t/526529)XVII (http://junctionofchannels.ru/t/300877)Acad (http://justiciablehomicide.ru/t/306880)Деме (http://juxtapositiontwin.ru/t/314901)Mart (http://kaposidisease.ru/t/305184)
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Бело (http://lambdatransition.ru/t/186853)9039 (http://laminatedmaterial.ru/t/314918)посе (http://lammasshoot.ru/t/294834)Санк (http://lamphouse.ru/t/478092)Nora (http://lancecorporal.ru/t/298044)Sele (http://lancingdie.ru/t/171498)втор (http://landingdoor.ru/t/267571)проф (http://landmarksensor.ru/t/497294)This (http://landreform.ru/t/468588)арес (http://landuseratio.ru/t/299583)Шапо (http://languagelaboratory.ru/t/655318)Поло (http://largeheart.ru/shop/1163806)(нер (http://lasercalibration.ru/shop/1537685)меся (http://laserlens.ru/lase_zakaz/1223)голу (http://laserpulse.ru/shop/591811)
yellowcab
10-18-2025, 10:35 AM
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yellowcab
12-31-2025, 12:55 AM
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yellowcab
12-31-2025, 12:57 AM
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yellowcab
03-30-2026, 08:22 AM
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yellowcab
03-30-2026, 08:24 AM
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