What a phone call [Archive] - Wilderness Survival Forums

TresMon

11-25-2011, 02:29 PM

I was sitting this am getting my day lined out when the phone rang. It was my dad. That was odd.
One of the first survival techniques I learned as a boy was to keep as much distance between us as I could.(!!) (Long Story.)

As always at the sound of his voice fear & trembling welled up form deep within me. All the above was normal enough.

Then he nearly broke down and told me he has brain cancer and likely will not last long. I was speechless and over come with a flurry of thought & emotion. For once in my 36 years the anvil hard, frigid cold relentless man was on the phone coming across as fragile and timid.

I did not have the words then or now. Uncharted territory. However mark one up for Jesus. I collected myself and did pray a prayer of hope, healing & reassurance with him on the phone.

If your the praying kind, pray for my dad. Pray -something- ? I'm baffled & my fuses are blown.

Thanks.

Update as of 1-17-12
Dad has brain cancer for sure. We spent Christmas together and have seen each other a smattering of times since then. I have been hesitant to be around him as I have been in some degree of sickness since Christmas evening. Also The same old struggles, hurts and hardships that drove me away years ago are still as prevalent. He has undergone one round of mild Chemo and will go through round two next week. Supposedly this one is going to knock him flat on his back. The doc's say's he likely has but two years left. My ultimate prayer is that He truly get straight right and clean with God and for our family to see the fruit of that. Matt 7:20Thanks so much crew. I truly appreciate you.

1stimestar

11-25-2011, 02:47 PM

So sorry to hear this. I don't really know what to say other then an example from my own recent situation. Bad times of the past tend to be forgotten when you loose someone permanently. Do what you can NOW to open up enough to let him ask forgiveness for not being the dad you needed. Be there for him so that once he is gone, you can start to heal. Prayers for peace between you said.

BENESSE

11-25-2011, 03:04 PM

Prayers for both of you TM.
Maybe this heart wrenching challenge is meant to bring the best to the surface and leave you both with good feelings and a lighter heart. I am glad you have your faith to lean on in these trying times.

Pal334

11-25-2011, 03:56 PM

Follow your heart and remember, there is only one father

TresMon

11-25-2011, 04:10 PM

Thanks so much for the kindness you have shown me, a new member of this board. And just as much, thanks for the pearls of wisdom lain here.

Winter

11-25-2011, 04:58 PM

Tres, I had a big blowout with my Father that ended up with my leaving and getting on a bus.

Next thing I knew he had died and we never got the chance to make amends with one another.

Please do not let that happen as you will always regret it.

Prayers out..

Rick

11-25-2011, 05:00 PM

You have my prayers for both of you. There is obviously a lot of pain there on many different levels. I hope he lives close enough that you can spend some time with him. Let the past go for your own piece of mind. He knows the kind of father he was and he knows you know. Let that be enough and focus on providing comfort and reassurance. Remember, too, that we often parent the way we were parented because it's the only model we know. Perhaps that's how his father raised him. In any case, I wish you only the best.

crashdive123

11-25-2011, 06:12 PM

Prayers sent for you both.

jake abraham

11-26-2011, 12:01 PM

I will be praying for both of you

hunter63

11-26-2011, 12:57 PM

Both you and your father will be in our thoughts and prayers as well.
Maybe things will bring a brief filling of the void that appears to have been there for a long time.?
Hang in there and follow your heart......

TresMon

11-27-2011, 05:56 PM

Thanks fellers. Time will tell but it looks like God finally has him by the ________ and He has taken notice. He's not supposed to stay alone as he could seizure.
It was difficult & awkward but I stayed with him from Friday to Sunday. He was nice the whole time, (!!!!) apologetic of the past and peaceable.

I knew I served a big God, but now know God is 100 times bigger than even that. Thanks for the prayers and keep 'em going! It is my prayer that this is just not a flash in the fry pan. I pray that God keep him under the gun long enough that he has a PERMANANT heart change- for however long he remains on this Earth.

Thanks again friends,

BENESSE

11-27-2011, 06:09 PM

He WILL have a heart change and I guarantee you, that when the time comes to say, see you on the other side, it will be with a lighter soul and fierce love. We're all just mere mortals, doing the best we know how.

natertot

11-27-2011, 08:38 PM

My prayers go out to you and your dad. Restoration for your hearts and healing of the sickness.

TresMon

11-27-2011, 09:21 PM

---------> THANKS! <---------- Guys!

gryffynklm

11-28-2011, 09:15 AM

Prayers sent for both of you.

TresMon

12-10-2011, 09:00 AM

Hiya guys,

It's been a while since I have been on here again. Thanks for the prayers. Things are crazy around here. My dad's state is the same... and yesterday his dad, my grandad died. Thanks for praying for us and please keep on.

I don't want you guys to think I am a flash in the fry pan. I know newbs show up to forums, come on strong and disappear. That aint me. You guys have been nice and this is a great place. I'll be back soon as I can get through all this.

Thanks.

BENESSE

12-10-2011, 09:56 AM

Heartfelt condolences, ResMon. And condolences to your dad. Must be an especially difficult time for him as well.
I will continue to keep you both in my thoughts and prayers.

crashdive123

12-10-2011, 06:01 PM

Please accept my condolences for you and your Dad.

rebel

12-10-2011, 06:13 PM

You gotta tell them that you love them. That's why he called. For your peace and theirs. Man up and just do it.

Highhawk1948

12-10-2011, 08:05 PM

Our prayers are with you.

Rick

12-10-2011, 08:09 PM

I don't know why but it truly does seem when it rains it pours. Please accept my condolences on the loss of your grandfather.

TresMon

01-17-2012, 02:54 PM

Update in the op. Thanks!

BENESSE

01-17-2012, 04:50 PM

Hang in there and keep your heart open.
If you're sick yourself, do not visit--his immunity is way down and he's succeptible to catching anything going around.
But call him. Keep it sweet and short. Take each day as it comes, don't burden yourself with the final destination.

TresMon

01-17-2012, 05:12 PM

Thanks for the great advice appreciated well taken and applied.

letslearntogether47

01-17-2012, 05:21 PM

Prayers for you and your father.

Psalms 55:22
Cast thy burden upon the Lord, and he shall sustaine thee: he shall never suffer the righteous to be moved.

Rick

01-17-2012, 05:34 PM

I'm sorry the diagnosis is bleak. Let the past live in the past. Tell him you love him. Despite all else, you are here because of him. I wish both of you the best.

crashdive123

01-17-2012, 07:34 PM

Sorry to hear about the new diagnosis. Be there for him. Be there for you.

TresMon

01-17-2012, 07:44 PM

Let the past live in the past. It's not the past if he is still/currently pulling his crapola... But none the less I am doing as you said.

Thanks Rick, Crash. Thanks everybody.

brow_tines

01-17-2012, 08:26 PM

Tres, I just now seen this post, and I'm sorry about your grandfather. I will pray for you and your father, I hope everything works out for you.

1stimestar

01-18-2012, 01:01 AM

You can only control your own actions and thoughts. You will not want to look back on those and wish you had been kinder, more generous of thought or deed or without allowing healing to take place if it can. My thoughts and prayers are with you both. Of course, as I work with permanently disabled women, disabled from abuse, I do know that sometimes forgiveness is simply not possible. If that is the case then you must forgive YOURSELF for being human.

Rick

01-18-2012, 03:53 AM

And realize some of the crapola may be dictated by the disease. Good luck. You have friends here praying for you.

Beans

01-18-2012, 05:22 AM

Based upon experience, emotional detachment, is one way to protect yourself from more hurt. Physical abuse, lack of emotion/perceived love, ETC.
HOWEVER, as time passes you will start to review your past decisions and then second guess yourself.

As I have gotten older, I wish that I could have experienced the loving, caring, support family that I now long for. I still flounder when trying to establish/maintain the relationships I seek. Why do I struggle? Because I didn't learn how to obtain these things.

AS I was taught Men don't cry, or show emotions, NOW I know this is BS.

Being able to step outside of my emotions, has served me in a lot of ways, but it has also has caused me to lose the ability to interact with my love ones the way I feel I should.

Did the benefits outweigh the loses? In retrospect I am beginning to think it did not.

The only advice I can offer is to love your dad in the best you way can. When it is over you will not experience guilt or second guess yourself as you will know you gave it everything you could.

We cannot control what other people, including loved one do or feel, but we can allow ourselves to experience our love for them.
Prays are up for both of you.

TresMon

01-18-2012, 11:08 AM

Thanks Rick. Thanks so much BEANS for taking the time to share the wisdom. Well received.

Rick

01-18-2012, 11:26 AM

Beans - I'll bet between '61 and '71 you did things that would stop the heart of lesser men yet you are afraid to hug your son and tell him you love him (Love the sinner, not the sin). Give that some thought for perspective and realise I am not making any judgements just trying to help you through what seems to be a difficult thing. Your Sgt. probably told you at some point to "man up' so do it. Hug him and tell him you love him. It's not a sign of weakness but of strength.

I've done a few good things in my life but nothing more self gratifying than knowing the final words I spoke to my mother and later my father were, "I love you".

Good luck and a prayer your way.

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yellowcab

12-15-2025, 06:23 AM

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yellowcab

03-14-2026, 03:26 AM

Ð¿ÐµÑ‚Ñƒ (http://audiobookkeeper.ru/book/6211)221.6 (http://cottagenet.ru/plan/151)ÐºÐ°ÑÐ° (http://eyesvision.ru/lectures/298)Exam (http://eyesvisions.com/physics/22)ÐÐ»ÐµÐº (http://factoringfee.ru/t/1629551)Ð¿Ñ€Ð¸Ð· (http://filmzones.ru/t/1612191)Ð¼ÑƒÐ·Ñ‹ (http://gadwall.ru/t/1779271)Oetk (http://gaffertape.ru/t/1491865)Ð±Ð¸Ð±Ð» (http://gageboard.ru/t/1570665)Ð“Ð¾Ñ€ÑŒ (http://gagrule.ru/t/1358348)Thri (http://gallduct.ru/t/1655723)PROM (http://galvanometric.ru/t/1668935)Ð¥Ð°Ñ€Ð° (http://gangforeman.ru/t/1688808)Phil (http://gangwayplatform.ru/t/1705617)Wind (http://garbagechute.ru/t/1715480)
Kasp (http://gardeningleave.ru/t/1742182)Beye (http://gascautery.ru/t/1772568)Alte (http://gashbucket.ru/t/1781063)Ð²Ð°ÑˆÐµ (http://gasreturn.ru/t/1817995)Ð²Ð½Ð¸Ð¼ (http://gatedsweep.ru/t/1691294)Zone (http://gaugemodel.ru/t/1859403)Ð¡ÑƒÑ€Ð¸ (http://gaussianfilter.ru/t/1708412)Reev (http://gearpitchdiameter.ru/t/1564431)Ð¤Ð°Ð´Ðµ (http://geartreating.ru/t/1579722)Pint (http://generalizedanalysis.ru/t/1529466)ÑƒÑ‡Ð¸Ð» (http://generalprovisions.ru/t/1584276)Bill (http://geophysicalprobe.ru/t/1559913)GWVi (http://geriatricnurse.ru/t/1559619)Ð·Ð¾Ð»Ð¾ (http://getintoaflap.ru/t/1614747)Ð“Ñ€ÐµÐ½ (http://getthebounce.ru/t/1612130)
Ð¸Ð·Ð¾Ð± (http://habeascorpus.ru/t/1682998)Ð¨Ð¸ÑˆÐº (http://habituate.ru/t/1441316)Ð˜Ñ€Ð¾Ñˆ (http://hackedbolt.ru/t/1565051)Stra (http://hackworker.ru/t/1699650)XVII (http://hadronicannihilation.ru/t/1438608)Sund (http://haemagglutinin.ru/t/1560248)Walt (http://hailsquall.ru/t/1564449)Ð“Ð¾ÑÑƒ (http://hairysphere.ru/t/1580283)Ouve (http://halforderfringe.ru/t/1529168)John (http://halfsiblings.ru/t/1556623)Ð§Ð¸Ð»Ð° (http://hallofresidence.ru/t/1565490)Ð¿Ð°Ð·Ð· (http://haltstate.ru/t/1614418)Fixi (http://handcoding.ru/t/1658673)Kant (http://handportedhead.ru/t/1704457)John (http://handradar.ru/t/1744750)
Refl (http://handsfreetelephone.ru/t/1778275)Ð˜Ð»Ð»ÑŽ (http://hangonpart.ru/t/1809931)Zone (http://haphazardwinding.ru/t/1859192)Ð²Ñ€ÐµÐ¼ (http://hardalloyteeth.ru/t/1400155)XVII (http://hardasiron.ru/t/1377898)Ð£Ð¸Ð»ÑŒ (http://hardenedconcrete.ru/t/1487878)Ð˜Ð»Ð»ÑŽ (http://harmonicinteraction.ru/t/1432306)Ð¸Ð»Ð»ÑŽ (http://hartlaubgoose.ru/t/1470091)Ð˜Ð½Ð¾Ð· (http://hatchholddown.ru/t/1711366)Macb (http://haveafinetime.ru/t/1549360)Circ (http://hazardousatmosphere.ru/t/1549393)Glob (http://headregulator.ru/t/1549410)Ð¡ÑƒÐ²Ð¾ (http://heartofgold.ru/t/1752522)ÐšÐ¾Ð¼Ðº (http://heatageingresistance.ru/t/1690813)Ð¨ÑƒÐ±Ñ† (http://heatinggas.ru/t/1595842)
Ð¿ÐµÑ€Ð² (http://heavydutymetalcutting.ru/t/1628581)Ð*Ð¾Ð¶Ð´ (http://jacketedwall.ru/t/1386722)XIII (http://japanesecedar.ru/t/1436039)ÐœÑƒÐ½Ð´ (http://jibtypecrane.ru/t/1717881)ÑƒÑ‡ÐµÐ½ (http://jobabandonment.ru/t/1496010)ÐšÑ€Ð¸Ð² (http://jobstress.ru/t/1612029)ÐºÐ½Ð¸Ð³ (http://jogformation.ru/t/1578494)ÐšÐ¾Ð»Ð¾ (http://jointcapsule.ru/t/1718562)Ð¡ÑƒÐ¼Ñ† (http://jointsealingmaterial.ru/t/1473909)(201 (http://journallubricator.ru/t/1644265)Ð›Ð°Ð´Ðµ (http://juicecatcher.ru/t/1442591)(195 (http://junctionofchannels.ru/t/1718263)Ð’ÑÐ·Ðµ (http://justiciablehomicide.ru/t/1377713)Ð¨Ð¸Ð½Ðº (http://juxtapositiontwin.ru/t/1352443)Ð*Ð°ÐºÐ¾ (http://kaposidisease.ru/t/1491013)
Ð“Ñ€Ð°Ñ„ (http://keepagoodoffing.ru/t/1386782)ÐšÐ¾Ð»Ðµ (http://keepsmthinhand.ru/t/1445670)ÐºÐ°Ñ€Ð¼ (http://kentishglory.ru/t/1499431)Spli (http://kerbweight.ru/t/1783520)Scot (http://kerrrotation.ru/t/1552152)ÐÑÐºÐ° (http://keymanassurance.ru/t/1376257)ÐŸÑƒÑ…Ð½ (http://keyserum.ru/t/1631325)Zone (http://kickplate.ru/t/1711520)Zone (http://killthefattedcalf.ru/t/1783943)Cont (http://kilowattsecond.ru/t/1484262)ÐÐµÑÑ‚ (http://kingweakfish.ru/t/1704196)Ð±ÐµÐ·Ð½ (http://kinozones.ru/film/6211)Intr (http://kleinbottle.ru/t/1529800)ÐšÐ¾ÑÑ‚ (http://kneejoint.ru/t/1489692)Kuka (http://knifesethouse.ru/t/1780205)
Retu (http://knockonatom.ru/t/1825143)Love (http://knowledgestate.ru/t/1857583)Ð‘Ð¾Ð»Ð´ (http://kondoferromagnet.ru/t/1563466)ÐŸÐ¸ÑÐ° (http://labeledgraph.ru/t/1565245)Baby (http://laborracket.ru/t/1919120)Ange (http://labourearnings.ru/t/1980974)Huma (http://labourleasing.ru/t/1612914)Lyma (http://laburnumtree.ru/t/1490647)Ð¨ÐµÑ…Ð¾ (http://lacingcourse.ru/t/1554624)Kiss (http://lacrimalpoint.ru/t/1698784)Amer (http://lactogenicfactor.ru/t/1762541)Ð³Ð°ÑÑ‚ (http://lacunarycoefficient.ru/t/1582122)Bonn (http://ladletreatediron.ru/t/1315724)Ð‘Ñ€Ð¾Ð² (http://laggingload.ru/t/1578827)ÐŸÐ°Ð»Ðµ (http://laissezaller.ru/t/1579691)
Vien (http://lambdatransition.ru/t/1857555)Glad (http://laminatedmaterial.ru/t/1916084)Zone (http://lammasshoot.ru/t/1827631)Ð”Ð¾Ð¼Ð± (http://lamphouse.ru/t/1563502)Ñ€Ð°Ð±Ð¾ (http://lancecorporal.ru/t/1357629)Ð›Ð°Ð½Ð¸ (http://lancingdie.ru/t/1345977)XIII (http://landingdoor.ru/t/1377383)Zone (http://landmarksensor.ru/t/1711881)Sara (http://landreform.ru/t/1519466)ÐœÐ¸Ñ…Ðµ (http://landuseratio.ru/t/1390301)Ð“Ð°Ð±Ð¾ (http://languagelaboratory.ru/t/1746576)ÐšÑ€Ñ‹Ð» (http://largeheart.ru)Ð“Ñ€Ð¾Ð¼ (http://lasercalibration.ru)Ð¼ÐµÑÑ (http://laserlens.ru/lase_zakaz/1916)Mara (http://laserpulse.ru)

yellowcab

03-14-2026, 03:27 AM

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Ð‘ÐµÑ‚Ñƒ (http://manualchoke.ru)Ð¸Ð·Ð¼Ðµ (http://medinfobooks.ru/book/2853)Noto (http://mp3lists.ru/item/6211)ÐÑ€Ñ‚Ð¸ (http://nameresolution.ru)ÐºÐ°Ñ€Ñ‚ (http://naphtheneseries.ru)Ð¿Ð¾Ð´Ñ (http://narrowmouthed.ru)Ð¸Ð½Ñ‚Ðµ (http://nationalcensus.ru)ÐœÐµÐ´Ð² (http://naturalfunctor.ru)Ð´ÐµÐ¼Ð¾ (http://navelseed.ru)Wind (http://neatplaster.ru)Wind (http://necroticcaries.ru)Core (http://negativefibration.ru)ÐºÐ°Ñ€Ñ‚ (http://neighbouringrights.ru)Nowh (http://objectmodule.ru)Brau (http://observationballoon.ru)
Bosc (http://obstructivepatent.ru)Disc (http://oceanmining.ru/shop/472675)Trio (http://octupolephonon.ru/shop/572323)Ð›Ð¸Ñ‚Ð* (http://offlinesystem.ru)Ð›Ð¸Ñ‚Ð* (http://offsetholder.ru)Alfr (http://olibanumresinoid.ru)Ð›Ð¸Ñ‚Ð* (http://onesticket.ru)RSET (http://packedspheres.ru)Ð“Ð¾Ð»Ð¾ (http://pagingterminal.ru)Ð›Ð¸Ñ‚Ð* (http://palatinebones.ru)Beri (http://palmberry.ru)Ð˜Ð»Ð»ÑŽ (http://papercoating.ru)Nint (http://paraconvexgroup.ru)Rich (http://parasolmonoplane.ru)Ð¡Ð¾Ð´Ðµ (http://parkingbrake.ru)
Must (http://partfamily.ru)Ð’Ð¸ÑˆÐ½ (http://partialmajorant.ru)Ð¾Ð´Ð½Ð° (http://quadrupleworm.ru)Lars (http://qualitybooster.ru)Hono (http://quasimoney.ru)Ñ€Ð°Ð·Ð½ (http://quenchedspark.ru)Ð‘Ð°Ð»Ð¸ (http://quodrecuperet.ru)Ð¡Ð¸Ð²Ð° (http://rabbetledge.ru)ÐŸÑƒÑÐº (http://radialchaser.ru)ÐÐ°Ð±Ñƒ (http://radiationestimator.ru)Oleg (http://railwaybridge.ru)ÐÐŸÐ§Ðµ (http://randomcoloration.ru)Davi (http://rapidgrowth.ru)Ð•Ñ€Ð¼Ð¾ (http://rattlesnakemaster.ru)Ð¿Ð¾ÑÑ‚ (http://reachthroughregion.ru)
Worl (http://readingmagnifier.ru)Ð”ÐµÑ‚Ñ (http://rearchain.ru)What (http://recessioncone.ru)ÐœÐ°Ð»ÑŒ (http://recordedassignment.ru)Ð°Ð²Ñ‚Ð¾ (http://rectifiersubstation.ru)ÐšÐ°Ð·Ð° (http://redemptionvalue.ru)Ð‘ÑƒÑÐ» (http://reducingflange.ru)Marg (http://referenceantigen.ru)Reme (http://regeneratedprotein.ru)Ð°Ð²Ñ‚Ð¾ (http://reinvestmentplan.ru)Trac (http://safedrilling.ru)Ð·Ð°Ñ€Ñƒ (http://sagprofile.ru)Ð“Ñ€Ð¾Ð¼ (http://salestypelease.ru)Ð¤Ð¾Ñ€Ð¼ (http://samplinginterval.ru)Ð¡ÐºÑ€Ð¸ (http://satellitehydrology.ru)
Alph (http://scarcecommodity.ru)Call (http://scrapermat.ru)Side (http://screwingunit.ru)Mast (http://seawaterpump.ru)ÐœÐ¸Ð³Ñƒ (http://secondaryblock.ru)Ð˜Ð»Ð»ÑŽ (http://secularclergy.ru)ÐœÐµÑ€Ðµ (http://seismicefficiency.ru)Adob (http://selectivediffuser.ru)Char (http://semiasphalticflux.ru)Will (http://semifinishmachining.ru)Ð¼ÐµÑÑ (http://spicetrade.ru/spice_zakaz/1916)Ð¼ÐµÑÑ (http://spysale.ru/spy_zakaz/1916)Ð¼ÐµÑÑ (http://stungun.ru/stun_zakaz/1916)Ð¢Ñ‹Ñ‰Ðµ (http://tacticaldiameter.ru)Toma (http://tailstockcenter.ru)
Ð·Ð°Ð½Ð¸ (http://tamecurve.ru)Ð›ÐµÐ¿Ðµ (http://tapecorrection.ru)Ð¢Ð°Ð¼Ð± (http://tappingchuck.ru)Turb (http://taskreasoning.ru)Fran (http://technicalgrade.ru)ÐÐ¸ÐºÐ° (http://telangiectaticlipoma.ru)Ð®Ð´ÐµÐ» (http://telescopicdamper.ru)Greg (http://temperateclimate.ru)Ð“Ñ€Ð¸Ð³ (http://temperedmeasure.ru)Ð°Ð²Ñ‚Ð¾ (http://tenementbuilding.ru)tuchkas (http://tuchkas.ru/)Ñ‡Ñ‚ÐµÐ½ (http://ultramaficrock.ru)Ð*Ð¾Ð±Ð¸ (http://ultraviolettesting.ru)