Survival Scenario 2.

Sarge47 · 08-02-2007, 05:13 PM

(With apologies to SNL.) You're out in the woods and the closest Inn is at least a good half-day's hike away. What's more you're canteen is bone dry and you're not ready to pee yet. Also the circus hasn't been in town so elephant turds are out of the question. Finally, to make matters worse, you're bloody stupid camera crew only brought Aquafina instead of Avion.

You feel hunger pangs and one of the crew hands you a dead rabbit and informs you that you need to clean it and cook it over a fire you're going to have to make yourself without matches! After giving him a look that would scare away Bigfoot himself you sit down and ponder the situation. What do you do?

trax · 08-02-2007, 06:12 PM

My contract with Discovery channel that is! Nobody told me it was going to get this rough, No Holiday Inn??? UN-possible. Surely one of the camera crew has a cell phone so I can call my agent and, if he can't get me out of this, at least he can bring out some decent water and matches to cook Br'er Rabbit with!

How much can you expect a man to take??? No elephant turds? That's just cruel.

wareagle69 · 08-03-2007, 09:51 PM

wheres les when you need him

spiritman · 08-03-2007, 10:03 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by wareagle69

wheres les when you need him

Probably getting paid for his new season! Starts Wednesday!

survivalhike · 09-16-2007, 06:42 AM

The anti-bear jokes just keep getting better and they never get old. Thuthfully though, I might watch it when it comes back (if it comes back) but only as an entertaining show, not as gospel.

Fog_Harbor · 09-17-2007, 12:29 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Sarge47

(With apologies to SNL.) You're out in the woods and the closest Inn is at least a good half-day's hike away. What's more you're canteen is bone dry and you're not ready to pee yet. Also the circus hasn't been in town so elephant turds are out of the question. Finally, to make matters worse, you're bloody stupid camera crew only brought Aquafina instead of Avion.

You feel hunger pangs and one of the crew hands you a dead rabbit and informs you that you need to clean it and cook it over a fire you're going to have to make yourself without matches! After giving him a look that would scare away Bigfoot himself you sit down and ponder the situation. What do you do?

Well, the first move would to be to find a phone and call my agent! I can't work under theses conditions!

survivalhike · 09-18-2007, 05:55 PM

I would hire a stunt double to cook and eat the rabbit and then I would retire to the nearest swanky hotel to eat blueberry pancakes in my hot tub. What a life.

the edge · 09-27-2007, 06:26 PM

Find water supply.

Beowulf65 · 11-01-2007, 04:51 PM

Knock out the camera man and make the fire with his photolens and the sun (shining through like a magnafying glass dummy) set him on fire so someone sees the smoke and comes to get me cutting little portions of him off to fill my tummy and stop pangs of the sugar rush I got eating a bunch of cany and geting jacked up to do this damn show in the first place. Catch a nap and then wake up realizing I shoulda just got in the land rover and drove off leaving the camera man to survive on his own.

08-02-2007, 05:13 PM	#1
Sarge47 Super Moderator Join Date: Jul 2007 Location: Western Illinois Posts: 4,307 Blog Entries: 17	Survival Scenario 2. (With apologies to SNL.) You're out in the woods and the closest Inn is at least a good half-day's hike away. What's more you're canteen is bone dry and you're not ready to pee yet. Also the circus hasn't been in town so elephant turds are out of the question. Finally, to make matters worse, you're bloody stupid camera crew only brought Aquafina instead of Avion. You feel hunger pangs and one of the crew hands you a dead rabbit and informs you that you need to clean it and cook it over a fire you're going to have to make yourself without matches! After giving him a look that would scare away Bigfoot himself you sit down and ponder the situation. What do you do? __________________ SARGE "Two things are infinite: the universe and human stupidity; and I'm not sure about the the universe." Albert Einstien

08-02-2007, 06:12 PM	#2
trax missing in action Join Date: Jul 2007 Location: somewhere behind you, in the dark Posts: 5,930	whip it out! My contract with Discovery channel that is! Nobody told me it was going to get this rough, No Holiday Inn??? UN-possible. Surely one of the camera crew has a cell phone so I can call my agent and, if he can't get me out of this, at least he can bring out some decent water and matches to cook Br'er Rabbit with! How much can you expect a man to take??? No elephant turds? That's just cruel. __________________ 'Beaten paths are for beaten men'

11-01-2007, 04:51 PM	#9
Beowulf65 Black Finn Join Date: Oct 2007 Location: Dunlap's Station, Ohio Posts: 3,674 Blog Entries: 57	Knock out the camera man and make the fire with his photolens and the sun (shining through like a magnafying glass dummy) set him on fire so someone sees the smoke and comes to get me cutting little portions of him off to fill my tummy and stop pangs of the sugar rush I got eating a bunch of cany and geting jacked up to do this damn show in the first place. Catch a nap and then wake up realizing I shoulda just got in the land rover and drove off leaving the camera man to survive on his own. __________________ ~I fear no man, no beast, I serve no master, and I'm no ones fool~

08-03-2007, 09:51 PM	#3
wareagle69 student of the bush Join Date: Jul 2007 Location: northern ontario Posts: 3,574	wheres les when you need him

09-16-2007, 06:42 AM	#5
survivalhike Senior Member Join Date: Sep 2007 Location: Gilbert Arizona Posts: 132	The anti-bear jokes just keep getting better and they never get old. Thuthfully though, I might watch it when it comes back (if it comes back) but only as an entertaining show, not as gospel.

09-18-2007, 05:55 PM	#7
survivalhike Senior Member Join Date: Sep 2007 Location: Gilbert Arizona Posts: 132	I would hire a stunt double to cook and eat the rabbit and then I would retire to the nearest swanky hotel to eat blueberry pancakes in my hot tub. What a life.

09-27-2007, 06:26 PM	#8
the edge Member Join Date: Feb 2007 Posts: 96	Find water supply.