Can you beat this one?

[sobeit]

So - Sobeit. Do you have nightmares?

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NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

[erunkiswldrnssurvival]

my best knives barely fill the palm of my hand, i'm a stone hunter, stone and bone knives are small but fierce. bigger is not better,when just the right thing does the lob.

[Rick]

It seems things always happen when you least expect it. This was a Saturday night about 10:30. The regular stores had closed and only the theater was still open. Even it would be closed in an hour. A few folks were lingering near the door waiting for rides while those of us in security were making our final rounds for the night.

Lt. Commander Jenkins was in the control room

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Sgt. Willings was patrolling the parking lot

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Ronnie was keeping an eye on the Party Hearty store (it was still open).

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While Bill was making his final rounds in the maintenance area.

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I had no way of knowing it but I was about to face one of my toughest challenges as a Security Mall Trooper.

I had just turned the corner of the hallway leading to the bathrooms when I was confronted with one of the worst scenes I've ever witnessed. A dead body, brutally killed, lay sprawled near an overflowing trashcan. It was hideous. Oh, I knew what this was. I'd heard about it, even been trained in case it happened but nothing, NOTHING, could have prepared me for what I now faced.

As luck would have it, a lone pair of footsteps led away from the carnage. Unbeknown (I've always wanted to use that word) to the killer he had walked through the life blood that oozed from the body leaving an easy trail to follow.

In accordance with my training, I radioed in but something must have been wrong with my radio that night because no one responded. I took a deep breath, pulled my metal detecting wand from its holster and flipped the switch on. The green power light glowed in the dimly lit hallway. I knew that whoever did this was probably high. I knelt down and touched two fingers into the red liquid and lightly placed them against my lips. Jelly! A sugar high from what I could tell. Only a crazed maniac would mangle a jelly doughnut so badly then toss it aside without so much as a second thought.

I knew the tracks would lead me no where. They were headed straight for the emergency exit. I was filled with so much emotion. Anger at such wanton destruction and yet I was relieved that I didn't have to tangle with this mad man. I'll never forget that night, though. The night the Jelly Doughnut died.

[laughing beetle]

Rotflmao!!!:d:d:d

[erunkiswldrnssurvival]

Too funny. If you're gonna pull a soup spoon out though, make sure your opponent doesn't have one of these.

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iF YOU CAN GET A SPLINTER OFF OF A BIRCH TREE... THE INDIAN JAVOLIN REACHES OUT THERE AND TOUCHES SOMEONE.

[crashdive123]

Rick - you've outdone yourself with that one.

[nell67]

Oh man that was good Rick,very good!!!!

[Riverrat]

Glad I finished the coffie before reading....good one rick, lol.

[trax]

Rick, what can I say? wow. Such courage under fire, don't malls have some manner of medal for men who show the courage you did that night? You're certainly deserving. I don't think hero is too strong a word...excuse me....(promised myself I wouldn't cry <<sniffle>>)

[Rick]

I received the Floating Flotsam award. It the highest recognition you can receive without being recognized. A lot of our work is undercover you know, so we have to keep a low profile.

[crashdive123]

Have you heard the scuttlebutt? Rick was given the Floating Flotsum Award. Can you believe it? Rick!

Yep. Heard he took down a real bad apple the other night.......well apple - cinnamon - something. Whatever it was, I heard it was rough.

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[erunkiswldrnssurvival]

cinn-a-bunn security , after a few of thoes I could sleep on a bed nails

[sobeit]

Rember Cinn-a Bunns are all good fun untill someone get's hurt.

[Rick]

All I can say is....so-be-it.

[Sarge47]

I remember reading about that. They wrote that a security guard with a metal-detecting wand got an award for something. There was a picture of the guy receiving it wearing this large Twinkie suit....

[Proud American]

That was AMAZING

[catfish10101]

You guys must have improvised stills... because you were definately all drunk on this thread!

(did you ever think of alchohol as a trade item in a collapsed, survivalist economy?)

Trade item? I think not!!! I can think of other uses for it though.