Joke of the day.

**Rick** · 03-26-2010, 09:40 PM

A guy goes into a hardware store and asks the manager for a tool to break up the hard ground. The manager shows him a wall of shovels, hoes, and other tools and says, "Take your pick".

**Rick** · 03-26-2010, 09:41 PM

"Doctor, doctor, you've got to help me!" "What's the trouble?" "One night I dream that I'm a car's muffler. And then the next night, I dream that I'm part of the wheel." "Why is that such a big deal?" "I wake up exhausted and tired."

**Justin Case** · 03-26-2010, 09:46 PM

A guy runs into a dentist office on night, Doctor Doctor, Ya gotta help Me, I think I'm a Moth ! The Dentist says,, I cant help you, you need a Psychiatrist, Yes I know, but your Light was On !

**Justin Case** · 03-26-2010, 09:49 PM

Two Atoms are walking down the road, One says to the other, " I dont feel very good, I think I lost some electrons" Are you sure? said the other, "Yes, I'm Positive" !

**Rick** · 03-26-2010, 09:50 PM

Tom is obsessed with monorails. All he ever talks about is monorails - especially how amazing it is that they travel with the use of just a single rail. He has a one-track mind.

**crashdive123** · 03-26-2010, 09:52 PM

A magician was driving down the road..then he turned into a drive way...

**Justin Case** · 03-26-2010, 09:54 PM

A Guy say "Doc, I have a real problem, every night have this crazy dream, First I'm a tepee, then I'm a Wigwam, Back and fourth, back and fourth" The Doctor says,, "Relax, you're just two tents"

**Rick** · 03-26-2010, 09:54 PM

John loves wheat - wheat bread, wheat rolls, wheat muffins - he can't get enough of wheat. Only problem: He's allergic to it. Whenever he eats it, he breaks out with a rash. But does that stop him from eating it? No, he's a real gluten for punishment.

**Rick** · 03-26-2010, 09:56 PM

A rancher was taking inventory of his livestock. He figured it wouldn't take him too long because he knew for a fact that he had exactly 196 head of cattle. But then he discovered that he actually had 200 head. How'd he find out? He rounded them up.

**Justin Case** · 03-26-2010, 09:56 PM

A Guy goes to the Doctor with a Banana in each ear and a grape in each nostril, The Doc says " I know what the trouble is, You dont eat right !"

**Rick** · 03-26-2010, 10:13 PM

A man heard about a discovery of gold in California. He immediately packed up his possessions and moved out west. Six months later, he gave up and returned home. Why? It didn't pan out.

**Justin Case** · 03-26-2010, 10:16 PM

Hmm,, I dont think I know anymore PG13 jokes

**crashdive123** · 03-26-2010, 10:18 PM

Light travels faster than sound

This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak

**crashdive123** · 03-26-2010, 10:18 PM

Did you hear about the red ship and the blue ship that collided?

Both crews were marooned

**Rick** · 03-26-2010, 10:18 PM

My last one... The state Treasurer had to balance the budget, so he sliced a little bit off the proposed funding for schools, parks, and other services. It was the most successful fund razor of the year.