@Crash; That's a good one. Love!
Best survival advise ever:
If you get lost in the woods,
Find a possum and follow it,
You will be in the middle of the road in no time.
A man full of grits is a man full of peace.
Where do terrorists go when they die?
EVERYWHERE!
”There's nothing glorious in dying. Anyone can do it.” ~Johnny Rotten
I know another joke. It's a bit stereotypical, but it's still funny to me) There was a blonde, a redhead, and a brunette. They were all trapped on an island and the nearest shore was 50 miles away. The redhead swam trying to make it to the other shore she swam 15 miles, drowned, and died. The brunette swam 24 miles, drowned, and died. The blonde swam 25 miles, got tired, and swam back.
Teacher: Little Johnny, you look sad. What's wrong?
Little Johnny: I saw a dead cat on my way to school.
Teacher: How do youknow it was dead?
Little Johnny: I pissed in its ear and it didn't move.
Teacher: (a little disturbed) Johnny!!! Please explain yourself!
Little Johnny: I saw the cat and it wasn't moving. I bent over, close to his ear and went Pssssst! He didn't move.
An old one stands the test of time:
A street walker comes up to a guy and says, I'll do anything for 50 bucks.
He says, sure, paint my house.
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