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Thread: Joke of the day.

  1. #2041
    Resident Wildman Wildthang's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by hunter63 View Post
    Well, At least I was able to enjoy it before it was deleted as a "Groaner....."
    Hunter only you appreciate fine humor.........LOL


  2. #2042
    Senior Member hunter63's Avatar
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    Default Fun with pallets...

    Latest pallet project.....didn't come out too well...

    So...Project Rev 2

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    Geezer Squad....Charter Member #1
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  3. #2043
    Administrator Rick's Avatar
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    I've made my fair share of those projects. Wasn't funny then. Still isn't funny.

  4. #2044
    Senior Member hunter63's Avatar
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    Yeah but it feel good and warm for a little while...kinda like peeing in a dark suit.
    Geezer Squad....Charter Member #1
    Evoking the 50 year old rule...
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  5. #2045
    Senior Member gcckoka's Avatar
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    2 seconds before car accident in all over the world
    -oh heck !
    2 seconds before car accident in Georgia
    -look what I will do now...

    kind of funny but sad reality
    Check out my survival youtube channel : https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCup...cRQ3O29ZB7Ybiw

  6. #2046
    Senior Member hunter63's Avatar
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    Kinda like......
    Wake up Leroy....He ain't never seen a wreak this big before?
    Geezer Squad....Charter Member #1
    Evoking the 50 year old rule...
    First 50 years...worried about the small stuff...second 50 years....Not so much
    Member Wahoo Killer knives club....#27

  7. #2047
    Senior Member kyratshooter's Avatar
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    Hold my vodka and watch this!
    If you didn't bring jerky what did I just eat?

  8. #2048
    Resident Wildman Wildthang's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by hunter63 View Post
    Latest pallet project.....didn't come out too well...

    So...Project Rev 2

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    Okay, how did you get that picture of Kyratts shootin shed???

  9. #2049
    Senior Member hunter63's Avatar
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    Geezer Squad....Charter Member #1
    Evoking the 50 year old rule...
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    Member Wahoo Killer knives club....#27

  10. #2050
    Senior Member BENESSE's Avatar
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    Attached Images Attached Images

  11. #2051
    Senior Member hunter63's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by BENESSE View Post
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    Apparently.........
    Geezer Squad....Charter Member #1
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  12. #2052
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    Cooter and Stan were fishing. Cooter said.

    "I recon' I'm gonna divorce my wife. She hasn't said a word to me in 2 months."

    To which Stan replied.

    "Better think about that, Cooter. A good woman like that is hard to find."

  13. #2053

  14. #2054
    Super Moderator crashdive123's Avatar
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    Sunday Morning Sex

    I will never hear church bells ringing again without smiling. Upon hearing that her elderly grandfather had just passed away, Katie went straight to her grandparent's house to visit her 95-year-old grandmother and comfort her. When she asked how her grandfather had died, her grandmother replied, "He had a heart attack while we were making love on Sunday morning."

    Horrified, Katie told her grandmother that 2 people nearly 100 years old having sex would surely be asking for trouble.

    "Oh no, my dear," replied granny. "Many years ago, realizing our advanced age, we figured out the best time to do it was when the church bells would start to ring. It was just the right rhythm. Nice and slow and even. Nothing too strenuous, simply in on the Ding and out on the Dong." She paused to wipe away a tear, and continued,


    "He'd still be alive if the ice cream truck hadn't come along!
    Can't Means Won't

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  15. #2055
    Super Moderator crashdive123's Avatar
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    Grandma Jones is driving along on her way home from church one fine Sunday morning when she spots a police car in her rear view mirror, the patrol car is following her with it's flashing red and blue lights on and it's siren wailing, Gram pulls over for the officer and he pulls in right behind her.

    A few seconds later the officer is at her driver side window, she asks is there something wrong officer, he replies yes Mam, you were speeding, I'll have to see your drivers license, well she says, I'd like to show it to you, but I don't have one, why not he asks, she tells him I lost it a few years ago after four drunk driving arrests, well how about your registration certificate he asks, well sir, the car isn't mine, who does the car belong to Mam, she replies, I don't know the owners name, I stole the car officer, I killed the owner and chopped him up into pieces, put the pieces in trash bags, he's in the trunk if you want to look.

    The officer is stunned, he steps back from the car and calls for back up, a few minutes later five police cars show up and box in the old lady's car, the senior officer then approaches her car slowly with his hand on his half drawn service pistol, he asks the old lady to step out of the car and put her hands on the hood of the car, he says, my officer tells me that you stole this car, that you killed the owner and have his body in the trunk, well she says, take a look, the officer opens the trunk and lifts the lid on a perfectly clean storage compartment.

    He then says, my officer also said you didn't have a valid license to drive, is that right, the old lady then slowly pulls a card carrier out of her purse and hands the senior officer her valid drivers license and says the car is hers and the registration is in the glove box, the first officers jaw drops in disbelief, but, says the senior officer, my officer said, the old lady chimes in in an aggravated tone, well, it seems he told you allot of things, I'll bet the lying bastard told you I was speeding as well.
    Can't Means Won't

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  16. #2056
    Senior Member hunter63's Avatar
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    LOL....
    I was gonna put this in the survival thread.....but that been kinda over done....

    So, with dat in mind....

    Ole and Sven grabbed their poles and headed out to do some ice fishing. As they were augering a hole in the ice they heard a loud voice from above say, "There are no fish under the ice."

    Ole an Sven moved about 25 feet over and started to make another hole. The voice said a little stronger, " There are no fish under the ice."

    They both looked around and then looked up. Ole said in a humble voice, "Are you God?"

    The voice spoke back, "No ya idiots! I'm the ice rink attendant."

    .
    Geezer Squad....Charter Member #1
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  17. #2057

  18. #2058

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    Two kids are talking.
    - My dad works twelve hours a day, so that I can have a comfortable home and decent clothes. My mom spends the whole day cleaning and cooking for me. However, I can not relax from all the worry.
    - But you are living a fairytale life! What are you so worry about?
    - Well, what if they try to escape?

  19. #2059
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    What is red and white, red and white, red and white?






    Santa Claus rolling off your roof.

  20. #2060
    Senior Member hunter63's Avatar
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    According to a news report, a certain Catholic school was recently faced with a unique problem.

    A number of 12-year-old girls were beginning to use lipstick and would put it on in the bathroom. That was fine provided it was of a natural or neutral skin tone, but after they put on their lipstick, they would press their lips to the mirror leaving dozens of little lip prints.

    Every night the maintenance man would remove them and the next day .... the girls would put them back.

    Finally, the principal, Sister Mary, decided that something had to be done. She called all the girls to the bathroom and met them there with the maintenance man.
    She explained that all these lip prints were causing a major problem for the custodian, who had to clean the mirrors every night (you can just imagine the yawns from the little princesses).;

    To demonstrate how difficult it had been to clean the mirrors, Sister Mary asked the maintenance man to show the girls how much effort was required.
    He took out a long-handled squeegee, dipped it in the toilet and cleaned the mirror with it.

    Since then, there have been no lip prints on the mirror.

    There are teachers...... And then there are educators!"
    Geezer Squad....Charter Member #1
    Evoking the 50 year old rule...
    First 50 years...worried about the small stuff...second 50 years....Not so much
    Member Wahoo Killer knives club....#27

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