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Thread: Joke of the day.

  1. #2001
    Administrator Rick's Avatar
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    Oh, man. I hate higher math. Sheeesh.


  2. #2002
    Senior Member hunter63's Avatar
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    I was told there would be no maff....
    (I get it...... a "V" right?....like Roman numeral 5? ....yeah, that's it....Got it....)
    Bhohahahaha
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  3. #2003
    Senior Member WalkingTree's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Rick View Post
    Oh, man. I hate higher math. Sheeesh.
    The other day someone asked me to go see how full something was. I came back and said it was about 3/4 full. They were bewildered. Didn't know what I meant. Kinda sorta got mad at me, saying "don't use all those complicated numbers and math and stuff. Don't nobody around here know any fancy fractions, who uses fractions??". They were serious. Weren't joking. Really had no idea what I meant by 3/4 full. So I said it's over half full, hoping like heck that they at least understood that. They did, saying "ok, that's better, now I know what you mean."
    The pessimist complains about the wind;
    The optimist expects it to change;
    The realist adjusts the sails.

    - William Arthur Ward

  4. #2004
    Senior Member hunter63's Avatar
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    Yeah well don't feel bad......Lady at the Dish TV Customer Service ask be how far the down load was along...told her the same thing, about 3/4's.....she said she doesn't DO fractions.
    So told her, "If the load bar was a dollar, we are at 3 quarters"......She says, "Oh yeah"
    Geezer Squad....Charter Member #1
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  5. #2005
    Senior Member WalkingTree's Avatar
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    You GOT to be kidding. Rather, we GOT to be kidding. 'Cept we're not. And that's just crazy.
    The pessimist complains about the wind;
    The optimist expects it to change;
    The realist adjusts the sails.

    - William Arthur Ward

  6. #2006
    Senior Member hunter63's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by WalkingTree View Post
    You GOT to be kidding. Rather, we GOT to be kidding. 'Cept we're not. And that's just crazy.
    Not as crazy as handing $5 dollar bill to the kid at the till at Menards (big box home improvement place)in the garden center....for a $2.49 cent item.....
    He stood there looking at it.....He had been ringing up everything up on peoples credit/debit cards....
    Told him, "That's a $5 dollar bill US currency, and as far as I know is still legal tinder"....
    So he take it, rings it up and put it in the till......closed it.

    I ask him about my change?.....Again he looked at me with the "Huh?? eyes".....
    Well the till isn't going to reopen till he had a supervisor keys in a code....

    Get my change, and he was giving me the "stink eye" like it was my fault he was a Dumas.....as I was walking away I was listening to the folks in line muttering.

    Heck if I would have know that..... I would have gotten out my change purse....and counted out the change to the penny.....
    What a Richard Cranium...

    Now That IS a Joke........
    Geezer Squad....Charter Member #1
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  7. #2007
    Administrator Rick's Avatar
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    So, dude, I was like at work today and this really, really old guy, must have been 50, hands me, get this, money. I'm like what century are you from?
    Seriously, man, that is just wrong. Bitcoin should have an old folks "get a life" coin.
    For real.

  8. #2008
    Ed edr730's Avatar
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    Some years ago, I talked to the bank manager about getting a debit card for someone in Guatemala. Out or curiosity, I guess, she asked me where that was at because she didn't know too much about Europe. I replied that it was in Central America. The look on her face told me she was still confused, so I said, "south of Mexico". It's a lack of education, no doubt. She had the graduation papers, just didn't know nothin.

  9. #2009

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    Well, now down here in South Florida we might have some immigrants and ignorant. LOL
    You get your Cubans hating you Puerto Ricans. And damn near ever black hating every other black regardless.

    But, my redneck breathern are the wisest of all. They refer to all latinos as South American's and Puerto Ricans as damned foreigners!

    My favorite is when Mexican's are considered South American!

  10. #2010
    Senior Member WalkingTree's Avatar
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    Just to be an advocate for a certain fairness...There's something that we all don't know. Ok there, I said it. I mean, a smart-butt can jump up and give me some calculus and challenge me to show that I know what it is. However...

    ...some stuff is just basic. Or should be. Three freaking quarters? Knowing what a 5 dollar bill is? It must've finally happened - that day we warned ourselves about that would come about from using pocket calculators too much. The day when someone really doesn't know what 3/4 is or a 5-dollar bill and doesn't know to give change from 2.49...to see this happen in reality is just really weird. Reminds me of another incident a while back when somebody didn't know that birds lay eggs and don't nurse their young with mammary glands, and another person defend it by saying that they went to a pretty good school but never once heard anything about birds and eggs.

    What's that thread? - "When does it stop being primitive?"

    This is when:

    ...said it was about 3/4 full...They were bewildered...got mad at me, saying "who uses fractions??"
    ...handing $5 dollar bill...for a $2.49 cent item...looked at me with the "Huh?? eyes"
    Or, is this when it instead got really primitive?
    The pessimist complains about the wind;
    The optimist expects it to change;
    The realist adjusts the sails.

    - William Arthur Ward

  11. #2011
    Senior Member hunter63's Avatar
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    Just stand in Line at Micky D's........See how many people buy $6 dollar meal( or just a coke)......And swipe their card....
    WE doin' need no stinking fractions.....
    Geezer Squad....Charter Member #1
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  12. #2012
    Administrator Rick's Avatar
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    Wait! What? Back up. What's this bird thing. They lay eggs?

  13. #2013
    Senior Member hunter63's Avatar
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    Default A tiny cabin in alberta

    A TINY CABIN IN ALBERTA

    A social worker from a big city in Ontario recently transferred
    to the prairies of Alberta and was on the first tour of her new territory
    when she came upon the tiniest cabin she had ever seen in her life.
    Intrigued, she went up and knocked on the door.

    "Anybody home?" she asked.
    "Yep," came a kid's voice through the door.
    "Is your father there?" asked the social worker.
    "Pa? Nope, he left afore Ma came in," said the kid.
    "Well, is your mother there?" persisted the social worker.
    "Ma? Nope, she left just afore I got here," said the kid.

    "But," protested the social worker, (thinking that surely she will
    need to intervene in this situation) "are you never together as a family?"
    "Sure, but not here," said the kid through the door.
    "This is the outhouse!"

    Government workers are so very smart.
    Aren't you overjoyed that they'll soon be handling all our financial,
    educational and medical needs?
    Geezer Squad....Charter Member #1
    Evoking the 50 year old rule...
    First 50 years...worried about the small stuff...second 50 years....Not so much
    Member Wahoo Killer knives club....#27

  14. #2014
    Senior Member natertot's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Rick View Post
    Wait! What? Back up. What's this bird thing. They lay eggs?
    Here I thought eggs always came from momma! I love them fried with a little bit of cheese!
    ”There's nothing glorious in dying. Anyone can do it.” ~Johnny Rotten

  15. #2015
    Senior Member hunter63's Avatar
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    SENIOR TRYING TO SET PASSWORD

    WINDOWS:
    Please enter your new password.

    USER:
    cabbage

    WINDOWS:
    Sorry, the password must be more
    than 8 characters.

    USER:
    boiled cabbage

    WINDOWS:
    Sorry, the password must contain
    1 numerical character.

    USER:
    1 boiled cabbage

    WINDOWS:
    Sorry, the password cannot have blank spaces

    USER:
    50damnboiledcabbages

    WINDOWS:
    Sorry, the password must contain at least one upper case character

    USER:
    50DAMNboiledcabbages

    WINDOWS:
    Sorry the password cannot use more than one upper case character
    consecutively.

    USER:
    50damnBoiledCabbagesShovedUpYourAssIfYouDon'tGiveM eAccessNow!

    WINDOWS:
    Sorry, the password cannot contain punctuation.

    USER:
    ReallyPissedOff50DamnBoiledCabbagesShovedUpYourAss IfYouDontGiveMeAccessNow

    WINDOWS:
    Sorry, that password is already in use
    Geezer Squad....Charter Member #1
    Evoking the 50 year old rule...
    First 50 years...worried about the small stuff...second 50 years....Not so much
    Member Wahoo Killer knives club....#27

  16. #2016

  17. #2017
    Senior Member WalkingTree's Avatar
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    Already in use...yes...ha! Somebody's been there already.
    The pessimist complains about the wind;
    The optimist expects it to change;
    The realist adjusts the sails.

    - William Arthur Ward

  18. #2018

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    Quote Originally Posted by WalkingTree View Post
    Great to see these videos of chimps and other animals reacting to their own reflections. They react just as human babies do when held up to a mirror - slapping at the reflected image.

  19. #2019
    Senior Member WalkingTree's Avatar
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    In one, there's a particular moment when a chimp (or gorilla?) is moving his hand funny in the mirror, as if he's testing and recognizing that it's his reflection. I thought that was interesting.
    The pessimist complains about the wind;
    The optimist expects it to change;
    The realist adjusts the sails.

    - William Arthur Ward

  20. #2020
    Senior Member hunter63's Avatar
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    Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines.
    quote>
    Steven Wright
    Geezer Squad....Charter Member #1
    Evoking the 50 year old rule...
    First 50 years...worried about the small stuff...second 50 years....Not so much
    Member Wahoo Killer knives club....#27

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