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Thread: Joke of the day.

  1. #2101
    Senior Member WalkingTree's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by hunter63 View Post
    Fall driving safety.
    It's that time of years again.....be sure to call you state officials and get those deer crossing signs moved to a safer place.

    Oh...my...god. She has got to be kidding.
    The pessimist complains about the wind;
    The optimist expects it to change;
    The realist adjusts the sails.

    - William Arthur Ward


  2. #2102
    Grubbin fer food Durtyoleman's Avatar
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    A robber held up a stagecoach in the Old West.
    He snarled: "If you don't hand over all your money, I'll shoot the men and molest the women."
    A gentleman passenger stepped forward and said bravely, "You shall not touch the ladies."
    Hearing this, an elderly woman passenger yelled out, "You leave him alone - HE'S robbing this stagecoach!"

  3. #2103
    Senior Member hunter63's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Durtyoleman View Post
    A robber held up a stagecoach in the Old West.
    He snarled: "If you don't hand over all your money, I'll shoot the men and molest the women."
    A gentleman passenger stepped forward and said bravely, "You shall not touch the ladies."
    Hearing this, an elderly woman passenger yelled out, "You leave him alone - HE'S robbing this stagecoach!"
    LOL....There was a "Granny" cartoon in Playboy Magazine...a long time ago.....
    Granny standing there half dressed....with her hands on her hips...
    Robber says.."Honest lady we don't want to violate the women...we just want to rob the durn stage.....
    Geezer Squad....Charter Member #1
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  4. #2104
    Grubbin fer food Durtyoleman's Avatar
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    I can see him giving the cash back just to get away.

  5. #2105
    Grubbin fer food Durtyoleman's Avatar
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    Q. What did the doe say when she came out of the woods?


    A. I'll never do that for five bucks again.

  6. #2106
    Senior Member hunter63's Avatar
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    ♦ I read that 4,153,237 people got married last year. Not to cause any trouble but shouldn't that be an even number?
    Geezer Squad....Charter Member #1
    Evoking the 50 year old rule...
    First 50 years...worried about the small stuff...second 50 years....Not so much
    Member Wahoo Killer knives club....#27

  7. #2107

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    Quote Originally Posted by hunter63 View Post
    ♦ I read that 4,153,237 people got married last year. Not to cause any trouble but shouldn't that be an even number?
    Not when you include Utah.

    Here's one:

    A rabbi, a priest, and a minister walk into a bar.

    The bartender says, "What is this, a joke?"

    Probably old, but i just heard it yesterday.
    "The more complex the mind, the greater the need for the simplicity of play." Jim Kirk

  8. #2108
    Senior Member hunter63's Avatar
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    ♦ Today a man knocked on my door and asked for a small donation towards the local swimming pool.

    I gave him a glass of water.
    Geezer Squad....Charter Member #1
    Evoking the 50 year old rule...
    First 50 years...worried about the small stuff...second 50 years....Not so much
    Member Wahoo Killer knives club....#27

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