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Thread: Joke of the day.

  1. #2081
    Senior Member hunter63's Avatar
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    LOL....Kinda like ..."I'll only do it a little bit...."
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  2. #2082
    Super Moderator crashdive123's Avatar
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    Almost like one of my favorites.


    A couple went on vacation to a resort up north. The husband liked to fish, and the wife liked to read. One morning the husband came back from fishing after getting up really early that morning and took a nap.

    While he slept, the wife decided to take the boat out. She was not familiar with the lake, so she rowed out and anchored the boat, and started reading her book.

    Along comes the Game Warden in his boat, pulls up alongside the woman's boat and asks her what she's doing? She says, "Reading my book." The Game Warden tells her she is in a restricted fishing area and she explains that she's not fishing. To which he replied, "But you have all this equipment. I will have to take you in and write you up!"

    Angry that the warden was being so unreasonable, the lady told the warden, "If you do that, I will charge you with rape." The warden, shocked by her statement, replied, "But I didn't even touch you." To which the lady replied, "Yeah, but you have all the equipment!"
    Can't Means Won't

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  3. #2083
    Senior Member WalkingTree's Avatar
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    Ok, the most random and pointless vid popped up on my youtube. Who knows why, but I watched it. Now I'm posting it here and there, because I'm surprised at how it made me bust a gut, at how outrageous it is. For the full laugh effect, you need to watch the full video to observe the evolution of events properly.



    Maybe you can imagine that it's the brain of someone trying to think about something really hard and can't figure it out.
    Last edited by WalkingTree; 06-25-2017 at 10:19 AM.
    The pessimist complains about the wind;
    The optimist expects it to change;
    The realist adjusts the sails.

    - William Arthur Ward

  4. #2084
    Senior Member hunter63's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by WalkingTree View Post
    Ok, the most random and pointless vid popped up on my youtube. Who knows why, but I watched it. Now I'm posting it here and there, because I'm surprised at how it made me bust a gut, at how outrageous it is. For the full laugh effect, you need to watch the full video to observe the evolution of events properly.



    Maybe you can imagine that it's the brain of someone trying to think about something really hard and can't figure it out.
    Man, I glad they showed that asa a Whirlpool.........I was waiting to it to "transform back in to the Maytag man...... all beat up.
    Geezer Squad....Charter Member #1
    Evoking the 50 year old rule...
    First 50 years...worried about the small stuff...second 50 years....Not so much
    Member Wahoo Killer knives club....#27

  5. #2085
    Senior Member WalkingTree's Avatar
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    It's a he...how do you know...don't worry about it. Haha!!

    I go on a date, and get to her house, and see that her washer or dryer is old and jumps around a bit, and mention that she ought to get a new one or get it fixed...and she says that she doesn't want to. I go hhmm...


    Ok, here's another. YouTube won't stop giving 'em to me now.



    The things some people do when drunk, I swear. Only white people, I bet...
    Last edited by WalkingTree; 06-25-2017 at 12:09 PM.
    The pessimist complains about the wind;
    The optimist expects it to change;
    The realist adjusts the sails.

    - William Arthur Ward

  6. #2086
    Future Senior Member? Rollicks's Avatar
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    This thing cracks me up!


  7. #2087
    Senior Member WalkingTree's Avatar
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    Heck yea!! That's awesome! Plucking a chicken is a pain in the butt. Not anymore. That's nice.
    The pessimist complains about the wind;
    The optimist expects it to change;
    The realist adjusts the sails.

    - William Arthur Ward

  8. #2088
    Administrator Rick's Avatar
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    No animals were harmed in the making of the video.

  9. #2089
    Senior Member hunter63's Avatar
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    Last edited by hunter63; 07-15-2017 at 07:20 PM.
    Geezer Squad....Charter Member #1
    Evoking the 50 year old rule...
    First 50 years...worried about the small stuff...second 50 years....Not so much
    Member Wahoo Killer knives club....#27

  10. #2090
    Senior Member WalkingTree's Avatar
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    Stumbled on this. Guess it can go here.

    The pessimist complains about the wind;
    The optimist expects it to change;
    The realist adjusts the sails.

    - William Arthur Ward

  11. #2091
    Grubbin fer food Durtyoleman's Avatar
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    My wife got a mud-pack for her complexion, and looked great for two days...
    Then the mud fell off.

  12. #2092
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    Hahaha, sooooo good man Thanks!
    Ursäkta min Engelska

  13. #2093
    Grubbin fer food Durtyoleman's Avatar
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    A Woman gets out of her Prius, walks into a bar and sits down next to a guy drinking a beer.

    Woman: I see you drink beer.

    Man: Yup

    Woman: How many beers a day?

    Man: Usually about 3

    Woman: How much do you pay for each beer?

    Man: About $5.00 including the tip

    Woman: And how long have you been drinking?

    Man: Maybe 20 years, I guess.

    Woman: So a beer costs $5 and you have 3 beers a day which puts your spending each month at $450.

    So in one year, it would be approximately $5400 correct?

    Man: Yup.

    Woman: For each year that you spend $5,400, not accounting for inflation, the past 20 years puts your spending at $108,000, correct?

    Man: Yup.

    Woman: Did you know that if you didn’t drink so much beer, that money could have been put in a step-up interest savings account and, after accounting for compound interest for the past 20 years, you could have bought a Ferrari?


    Man: Do you drink beer?

    Woman: No.

    Man: Where’s your Ferrari?

  14. #2094
    Senior Member hunter63's Avatar
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    Ain't that the truth...............
    Geezer Squad....Charter Member #1
    Evoking the 50 year old rule...
    First 50 years...worried about the small stuff...second 50 years....Not so much
    Member Wahoo Killer knives club....#27

  15. #2095
    Grubbin fer food Durtyoleman's Avatar
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    After a ****-Hit-The-Fan scenario I realized I desperately needed to take a survival course and immediately signed up...It's titled

    Marriage...week 2 and beyond

  16. #2096
    Senior Member hunter63's Avatar
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    Fall driving safety.
    It's that time of years again.....be sure to call you state officials and get those deer crossing signs moved to a safer place.

    Geezer Squad....Charter Member #1
    Evoking the 50 year old rule...
    First 50 years...worried about the small stuff...second 50 years....Not so much
    Member Wahoo Killer knives club....#27

  17. #2097
    Super Moderator crashdive123's Avatar
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    I shake my head in disbelief and laugh out loud every time I hear that.
    Can't Means Won't

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  18. #2098
    Senior Member hunter63's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by crashdive123 View Post
    I shake my head in disbelief and laugh out loud every time I hear that.
    The local stations bring it up every year....sorta a public service letting people deer are in rut, go nuts and do some real damage....
    Geezer Squad....Charter Member #1
    Evoking the 50 year old rule...
    First 50 years...worried about the small stuff...second 50 years....Not so much
    Member Wahoo Killer knives club....#27

  19. #2099
    Grubbin fer food Durtyoleman's Avatar
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    Next time you go on a Roller coaster
    take some spare bolts with you and as the coaster climbs the steep hill, tap the guy in front of you on the shoulder and say "Hey, these just fell out from under your seat"... then sit back and enjoy your ride.

  20. #2100
    Grubbin fer food Durtyoleman's Avatar
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    A Priest was passing a group of us young teens sitting on the church lawn and stopped to ask us what we were doing.

    "Nothing much Father" we said. "We were just seeing who can tell the biggest lie about their s e x life."

    "I'm shocked!" said the pastor "When I was your age, I never even thought about s e x."

    We all looked at each other for a moment, then said in unison, "You win!"

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