I think she's trying to get rid of me....

[Alan R McDaniel Jr]

She made me a BLT for lunch and I'm pretty sure there was 3/4# of bacon on it... Of course I ate it real quick before she changed her mind!

Alan

[crashdive123]

Either that, or you are about to find out about that new purchase she just made. Either way, a bacon sammich is a good thing (or a worthy bribe).

[Rick]

If she does get rid of you, send her my way. Any woman that plies a man with bacon sammiches is okay in my book. There are worser ways to go, you know. (3/4# of bacon, dang. That sounds plum awesome.) Wading through a swamp infested with dinosaurs. Some fools do that, so I'm told. That would be a worser way to go. Being stung to death by ferocious killer bees or their horrible cousins, fire ants (shudder). Folks actually live in places that have those, so I'm told. I'm just giving for instances of worser ways to go.

[Alan R McDaniel Jr]

Well, I did tell her it was real good, the best I ever had, and that I was sure looking forward to another one like it, but since there seemed to be only 1/4# of bacon left she might want to swing by the grocery store and pick up some more to balance things our...We'll see how it goes... I've been googling how to feign clogged arteries, you know as encouragement of sorts...

Alan

[Rick]

Now, now. Don't go butterin' her up. There are those of us that need woman folk like that. Lands sake if she's willing to run to the grocery store and get more bacon that's just extra special in my book. Me and Kyrat can use a good woman like that. I can use her in the summer and he can have her in the winter. We can switch off. I ain't sure how many 3/4 # bacon sammichs I can handle. I know Kyrat can't do more that a couple dozen a week. His ticker would probably quit just out of spite. I think you're okay if you wash it all down with hot coffee to keep the grease flowin'. Cold sweet milk would probably stop things right up.

[Alan R McDaniel Jr]

Don't get me wrong. I'm keeping her as long as my arteries hold out!

Alan

[VnVet]

The wife decided that fresh from the garden paste tomatoes are the best for BLTs. As they have a thick skin, she peels them. Unlike other heirloom tomatoes, they don't slide around or out of the sandwich when you bite the BLT.

[Alan R McDaniel Jr]

Anything fresh from the garden is usually the best. I will mention to the cook that she should start peeling the tomatoes. She like helpful culinary tips like that...

The 100+ temps and no rain has really wiped out our garden though. I put in about 20 tomato plants a week ago and despite water daily, three of them have already shriveled and died. The rest are just kinda sitting there. I also planted green beans. They are popping up now wondering why they were planted on Mars.

It's really dry here. 20% chance of rain today though....

Alan

[Rick]

I am certain she will appreciate the helpful hint on peeling maters. Especially during this morbidly hot weather while you're sipping iced tea in the lazy boy. If you notice she is looking at the maters then at the knife then at the maters then back at the knife then at you, you might announce in a loud voice you are going to water the beans. A hasty exit through a door nowhere near her might be a good choice. Just a thought.

[Alan R McDaniel Jr]

All her knives are terminally dull. I'm not real sure how she does it. I can sharpen one of them for 20 min and in less time than I can say, "Be careful it's really shar...", it won't cut hot butter. I ain't afeared of her knives.... Poison, bludgeoning, ..... yeah, some concern there...

Alan

[Rick]

They say poisoning can be peaceful...or not. Same for bludgeoning.

[Alan R McDaniel Jr]

Who is "They"? I suppose it depends on who you ask...

Alan

[Rick]

They...You know...they. Ask at the barber shop. They know who they are. They've been around forever and I don't imagine they'll leave anytime soon. Not to be confused with he/she/it/him/her/or any of them. That's a totally different they...actually them. Crap, now I'm confused.