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Thread: the wife is missing

  1. #1
    Senior Member randyt's Avatar
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    Default the wife is missing

    The Husband’s Report

    Husband: My wife is missing. She went shopping yesterday and has not come home!

    Officer: Age?

    Husband: I'm not sure. Somewhere between 50 and 60. We don't do birthdays.

    Officer: Height?

    Husband: I'm not sure. A little over five-feet tall.

    OFFICER : Weight?

    Husband: Don't know. Not slim, not really fat.

    OFFICER : Color of eyes?

    Husband: Sort of brown, I think.

    OFFICER : Color of hair?

    Husband: Changes a couple times a year. Maybe dark brown now. I can’t remember.

    OFFICER : What was she wearing?

    Husband: Could have been pants, or maybe a skirt or shorts. I don't know exactly.

    OFFICER : What kind of car did she go in?

    Husband: She went in my truck.

    OFFICER : What kind of truck was it?

    Husband : A 2016, pearl white Ram 2500 Limited 4X4 with 6.4l Hemi V8 engine ordered with the Ram Box bar and fridge option, led lighting, back up and front camera, Moose hide leather heated and cooled seats, climate controlled air conditioning. It has a custom matching white cover for the bed, Weather Tech floor mats. Trailering package with gold hitch, sunroof, DVD with full GPS navigation, satellite radio, Cobra 75 WX ST 40-channel CB radio, six cup holders, 3 USB ports, and 4 power outlets. I added special alloy wheels and off-road Toyo tires. It has custom retracting running boards and under-glow wheel well lighting. At this point the husband started choking up.

    OFFICER : Take it easy sir, We'll find your truck
    so the definition of a criminal is someone who breaks the law and you want me to believe that somehow more laws make less criminals?


  2. #2
    Super Moderator crashdive123's Avatar
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  3. #3
    Administrator Rick's Avatar
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    That was pretty good. I had to pass that on to a cousin. I'm sure he is going to worry about the loss of the truck. Let us know as soon as you hear anything. Maybe government should establish a Chrome Alert for missing vehicles.

  4. #4
    Senior Member el-amigo's Avatar
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    Thanks! It's a good one!
    Everybody has a different way to view the world...

  5. #5
    Senior Member BENESSE's Avatar
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    "Lemon Pickers Needed” read the ad in the newspaper.

    LEMON PICKERS NEEDED IN FLORIDA - ONLY U.S. CITIZENS OR LEGAL IMMIGRANTS
    NEED APPLY

    Ms. Sally Mulligan of Coral Springs, Florida, read it and decided to apply for one of the jobs that most Americans are not willing to do.


    She submitted her application for a job in a Florida lemon grove but seemed far too qualified for the job.

    She has a liberal arts degree from the University of Michigan, and a master’s degree from Michigan State University.

    For a number of years, she had worked as a social worker, and also as a school teacher.

    The foreman studied her application, frowned, and said, "I see that you are well educated, and have an impressive resume.

    “However, I have to ask you, have you had any actual experience in picking lemons?”

    "Well, as a matter of fact, I have," she said, "I've been divorced three times, owned two Dodges, voted twice for Obama, and once for Hillary.”

    She started work yesterday.




  6. #6
    Administrator Rick's Avatar
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    Geeeze. Those last two would have placed her in the "over qualified" category on my list.

  7. #7
    Senior Member BENESSE's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Rick View Post
    Geeeze. Those last two would have placed her in the "over qualified" category on my list.
    True dat.

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