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Thread: 9000 Barrels of Booze on the Wall

  1. #41
    Administrator Rick's Avatar
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    And you still made Chief, huh?


  2. #42

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    Quote Originally Posted by Rick View Post
    At my age walking a straight line is just not in the books.

    Officer: "Hold one foot in front of you like this."
    Me: "Are you serious? Look how old I am. If I raise one foot off the ground the rest of me will fall down. I need four legs not two and one sure as hell ain't gonna work."
    Officer: "Count backwards from 100."
    Me: "I can't even remember how to count forward."
    Officer: "Follow my pen. No. Stand in one place."
    Me: "How can I follow and stand in place at the same time?"
    Officer: "Follow it with your eyes."
    Me: "You do know my eyes can't see that, right? I have cataracts. Don't you guys have a sobriety test for old codgers?"
    Quote Originally Posted by crashdive123 View Post
    Many, many years ago when I was a Chief selectee, my sponsor thought it would be a good idea to volunteer me to go to the stage with the state patrolman that was conducting DUI training. He was not amused when I asked if this was a how to course (there were about 300 people in the auditorium). He then proceeded to conduct a field sobriety test on me. When he got to the part where he said "recite the alphabet backward", I turned my back to him and started to recite the alphabet. Once again, he was not amused.
    Do you remember the "WKRP in Cinncinatti" episode where the Dr. Johnny Fever and Venus drink and do reaction-time tests on-air with a state trooper?
    "The more complex the mind, the greater the need for the simplicity of play." Capt. James T. Kirk

  3. #43
    Senior Member WolfVanZandt's Avatar
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    Crash, you, my friend, were a smart&&(%. Do you know Coyote?

    True enough, my final home is still out there, but this is most certainly my home range and I love it. I love every rock I fall off and tree I trip over. Even when I am close to dying from exhaustion, a beautiful sunset doesn't lose it's power to refresh and inspire me and that, in itself, is enough to save me sometimes.

  4. #44
    Super Moderator crashdive123's Avatar
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    I've been accuses of worse.
    Can't Means Won't

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