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Thread: Nice Asian Lady

  1. #1
    Senior Member kyratshooter's Avatar
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    Default Nice Asian Lady

    A few days back during the attack of Gunkid I made reference to his purchase of a Philippine bride in a derogatory manner and I am now paying the price.

    Every time I log in I face the offer of a "nice Asian lady" that would be willing to do whatever unmentionable things I cold possibly imagine, as a pop up add.

    Occasionally they throw me a curve and offer a stunning Russian or Ukrainian chick.

    I know they are lying!

    See, the thing is I have known three guys that did the mail order bride from the Philippines thing. Both men were rather strange individuals. One looked normal but was crazy as a sack of bats, the other looked like a frog and neither of them could begin or sustain a normal relationship.

    Sack of Bats wife stayed with him just long enough to have a child, gain citizenship and then split. Knowing this guy I can not blame her at all. Oddly, she is a rather normal person now married to a normal man and leading a normal life for the past 20 years.

    Frogman's wife stabbed him. She did not kill him, but she cut him up pretty bad and he refused to press charges so I suspect she had warned him not to even think about touching her, caught him thinking about it, and cut him up.

    After the stabbing incident they stayed together for several years, with him sleeping on the sofa, and he did express the opinion that since she was an obsessive compulsive cleaner the cost of importation was cheaper than hiring a maid.

    Guy #3 was a different story and I knew him when he was stationed in the Islands. He met a Philippine girl, lived with her for two years, then he got transferred back to the states.

    She stabbed him in the airport terminal when she found out he was not taking her with him back to the states. Nearly killed him, and he was in the hospital for a long time before he could return home.

    As a historian I am aware that arranged marriages have been the norm for all of human history. I know they can work, for some people, under some conditions. But I am scared to death of those Philippine girls, and I am pretty sure the Russian chicks would kill you in a heartbeat too!

    I have grown old enough to face my own mortality, and I know I will die at some point in time, sooner rater than latter at my age. But not from having my throat cut from ear to ear by some chick with a thick accent.

    If you didn't bring jerky what did I just eat?


  2. #2

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    My brother had bad luck with the women. He attracted the ones with the latent crazy gene. Had kids with 3 wives and finally opted for the Philipino connection. He went to gamble down there every so often and found a winner. So far she's a peach. The only woman my mother didn't drive off/nuts with her brand of crazy (Dementia). They have a young one and a couple of his kids have moved in with them after visiting.

    So I guess there are success stories out there. I hear a lot more of the fails.

  3. #3
    Alaska, The Madness! 1stimestar's Avatar
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    I wouldn't mind having one hahhaha. Hey, someone who WANTS to stay home and do the housework and cook while I go to work. Oh wait, that's what teenagers are for. Never mind.
    Why do I live in Alaska? Because I can.

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    Administrator Rick's Avatar
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    From where I sit there are only two things I need to know from women. How high I need to jump and when.

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    Senior Member hunter63's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by 1stimestar View Post
    I wouldn't mind having one hahhaha. Hey, someone who WANTS to stay home and do the housework and cook while I go to work. Oh wait, that's what teenagers are for. Never mind.
    I had a riding dishwasher once.....her name was ***...and if you rode her long enough...she did the dishes.
    I know what you mean about pop-ups......If you google "dogcrap"....will get...."Get good deals on dogcrap in Amazon .con"

    Was getting those "Women want to meet you" popups as well.....
    Seems like a lot to trouble to start over at this point.
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    Senior Member WolfVanZandt's Avatar
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    I've actually known some instances of it working out (I get around).

    But that said, and arranged marriages notwithstanding, I cannot grasp, at all, the concept of marrying someone you don't know.
    True enough, my final home is still out there, but this is most certainly my home range and I love it. I love every rock I fall off and tree I trip over. Even when I am close to dying from exhaustion, a beautiful sunset doesn't lose it's power to refresh and inspire me and that, in itself, is enough to save me sometimes.

  7. #7
    Senior Member hunter63's Avatar
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    Few years back....attending a Rondy in Prairie Du Chien Wi, on the bank or the Mississippi River...saw a sternwheel riverboat docking at the wharf.

    Bunch of us ...all in re-enacting dress...walked down to watch.

    Many of the people on board were older couples out for a dinner cruise.......
    We were watching them...they were watching us........

    Then one blue haired lady hollers out. .....
    "What do you guys think you are?....Wild indians or something?"

    Guy with hair down his back, wearing a loin cloth and leggings....drinking from a tankard hollers back.
    "We ordered young women...these are too old....take them back!"
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  8. #8
    Super Moderator crashdive123's Avatar
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    I made reference to his purchase of a Philippine bride in a derogatory manner and I am now paying the price.

    Every time I log in I face the offer of a "nice Asian lady" that would be willing to do whatever unmentionable things I cold possibly imagine, as a pop up add.
    So what do I have to do to have these pop ups on my screen?
    Can't Means Won't

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    Senior Member WalkingTree's Avatar
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    Then one blue haired lady hollers out. .....
    "What do you guys think you are?....Wild indians or something?"

    Guy with hair down his back, wearing a loin cloth and leggings....drinking from a tankard hollers back.
    "We ordered young women...these are too old....take them back!"
    hahahahaha!!
    The pessimist complains about the wind;
    The optimist expects it to change;
    The realist adjusts the sails.

    - William Arthur Ward

  10. #10
    Senior Member randyt's Avatar
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    My brother met and and married a Filipino lady back when he was stationed at Clark air base, they have been married since then, mid 1980s
    Last edited by randyt; 08-16-2017 at 07:51 PM.
    so the definition of a criminal is someone who breaks the law and you want me to believe that somehow more laws make less criminals?

  11. #11
    Alaska, The Madness! 1stimestar's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by hunter63 View Post
    Few years back....attending a Rondy in Prairie Du Chien Wi, on the bank or the Mississippi River...saw a sternwheel riverboat docking at the wharf.

    Bunch of us ...all in re-enacting dress...walked down to watch.

    Many of the people on board were older couples out for a dinner cruise.......
    We were watching them...they were watching us........

    Then one blue haired lady hollers out. .....
    "What do you guys think you are?....Wild indians or something?"

    Guy with hair down his back, wearing a loin cloth and leggings....drinking from a tankard hollers back.
    "We ordered young women...these are too old....take them back!"
    Hahhaha. Good one.
    Why do I live in Alaska? Because I can.

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  12. #12
    Resident Wildman Wildthang's Avatar
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    When big fat ugly women try to talk to me, I just ask them to the BBQ. Then when they accept, I say good, we needed a hog!
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  13. #13
    Administrator Rick's Avatar
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    I was best man at one of those weddings. Nobody else wanted the job. The groom talked about what a great deal he made. A water pump and a 50 pound sack of rice for the dowry. A couple years later and the whole family had moved in with him. After the kid he was thrown out broke. Great deal?

  15. #15
    Senior Member WolfVanZandt's Avatar
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    Well, I guess it's sorta like gambling......okay, it is gambling.
    True enough, my final home is still out there, but this is most certainly my home range and I love it. I love every rock I fall off and tree I trip over. Even when I am close to dying from exhaustion, a beautiful sunset doesn't lose it's power to refresh and inspire me and that, in itself, is enough to save me sometimes.

  16. #16
    Senior Member BENESSE's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Rick View Post
    From where I sit there are only two things I need to know from women. How high I need to jump and when.
    If more men had realistic expectations like you, they wouldn't have to go outside the country to buy themselves a bride. Why with that approach, you probably have to fend them off with a bat.

  17. #17
    Super Moderator crashdive123's Avatar
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    I've only been married for a bit over 26 years, but those words seem to work really well.
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  18. #18
    Senior Member hunter63's Avatar
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    Well, my ability to keep more that one half my stuff...for 49 years...So far
    Revolves around the 4 rules"

    1) Say "I love you", first thing in the morning and last thing at night....and mean it.

    2) Apologize and be sincere...You may not have done anything wrong.....But you mostly will.

    3) Say, "You are right....I am wrong"...doesn't matter the subject...just not worth the trouble.

    This is the most important:
    4) Master the non-committal grunt..."arragha".....This can mean yes/no/maybe....or whatever....use sparingly.
    Last edited by hunter63; 08-18-2017 at 08:58 PM.
    Geezer Squad....Charter Member #1
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    First 50 years...worried about the small stuff...second 50 years....Not so much
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  19. #19
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    I knew a guy who could have played a Neanderthal in a cave man movie. He ordered a mail order bride from Russia. She was reasonable good looking but had the temperament of a rabid wolverine. They produced a child, got her out of high school and then the guy moved to Russia and she stayed here.

    Marriage is not something I fully understand. Perhaps, the second 41 years will shed some light on it for me.

    Alan

  20. #20
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    There's that joke about the guy walking on the beach in California. He had always been a devout Christian, tithed and all that stuff. God spoke to him telling him that since he had been such a good servant that he would grant him a wish. He said he had always wanted to go to Hawaii and would like a bridge from California to Hawaii so he could drive there. God explained the folly of his wish and told him to try again. He then said that he wanted to understand what women really wanted….. God said, "You want that bridge one lane or two?"


    Alan

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