Traxistanian Constitution
I've put a lot of thought into this ok people? (Yeah, sure he did. This is Ken's fault for asking Rick)
1. All you need for citizenship is to be hanging around in the general geographical area
2. The government of Free Traxistan will not impede on the rights of the citizens:
a) To express themselves freely. Say whatever you want to whoever you want, however, if you can't say it politely, someone might slap some manners into you.
b) To bear firearms. Period, nothing else needs to be said about that.
c) To worship however they see fit. Hopefully, those Traxifarians will sober up once in awhile and earn their keep.
d) To earn a living however you see fit, mostly cuz if you're planning on living off the government, well that ain't going to happen.
3. The government recognizes the following holidays:
a) Bacon Fridays. Just take the day off and enjoy some bacon
b) Trax's birthday. Just take the day off and enjoy some bacon
c) Rick's birthday. Yep, you guessed it. Enjoy that bacon
4. Taxes. Heck no, I waste my own money, I'm pretty sure I'd just squander yours.
5. Health care? Well, might be a bad idea to get sick or hurt, cuz the government doesn't have any money.
6. Property rights? Finders keepers worked on the school ground when I was a kid, should work here. First come, first served. If it gets too crowded, though, you might want to think of sharing some space with your neighbors.
7. Hunting season. Opens January 1, closes December 31, just shoot for as many people as you're going to feed, cuz if you shoot more than that, it's going to be confiscated for someone who does need it.
8. People involved in the raising of pigs will be granted special status because dammit, we need that bacon. I'm not sure what that special status involves yet, but we'll work it out.
9. The currency of Free Traxistan is called barter. That way you don't need a bunch of paper floating around with my hideous mug on it, make the best deal you can with whoever you need to trade with, was good enough for my old man, it's good enough for us.
10. Hassling or interfering with the work of the pygmies, the ninja squirrels or the Shetland ponies is a criminal offence. I gotta draw some lines somewhere.
11. A hefty bonus portion of bacon and/or pulled pork (recipient's choice!) will be awarded by the government to anyone caught shooting evil-doers: child molestors, rapists, politicians, all count as evil-doers.
12. There is one official language, that's English. I don't care if you use American, Canadian or even English English, but the official language is English, not French, not Spanish, sure as hell not Tarsi or Aramaic. Anyone who can help me brush up on my Cree lessons is definitely welcome at the official cabin I'll be using as headquarters.
13. Anyone bribing me with gifts of Glenfiddich Scotch or Jameson's Irish, well, they'll probably get a pretty comfy government job. Bribes are always welcome. Why should I pretend to not be corrupt, it just slows down the process. Never trust any government that doesn't allow livestock on the public transit system.
This document is open to an exchange of ideas, and adaptations, but don't get it too complicated, I'll get a headache.
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Originally Posted by Ole WV Coot
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