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Thread: some advice?

  1. #1
    Senior Member Antonyraison's Avatar
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    Default some advice?

    Hey guys,
    I know like talking about my issues in a public forum may not be the greatest thing ever,
    But I do feel there are a lot OF men here with a whole lot more life experience than myself.
    Basically here is my scenario,
    about 2 and a half years ago, I put an end to a relationship I had with a Girl for lying and cheating on me basically.
    My friends also became friends with this person, and still remain friends with her, its actually quiet sad to me as the situation in my mind would make people choose a side (well generally they do in my experiences) I am bombarded with social media with them going out to the kinds of parties I really want nothing to do with ,the type of parties that made me wake up and choose something else, psytrance parties filled with drugs etc) I left all that behind and started doing things for myself, that's when I actually found survival ( i started up with my basic course, and continued from there, I feel in love with nature and being a 'man" and self reliant, also it healed my heart and gave me a deep understanding of whom I truly am and what truly matters.
    Basically I had been prior to all this to about 4 of these parties, got peer pressured into taking MDMA (its like Ecstasy) i done this about 3 or 4 x times, I woke up in the middle of the night really scared and worried cause I had realized something, no-one wakes up one day and is a drug addict its a slow steady spiral to it, and then you in a hole you cannot get out... I told me Girlfriend at the time I want us to stop, I want to move on and become better than this, I wanted something Good for our future, she basically told me she would do it behind my back, we fought a lot and well it was on a short leash the relationship now, and then a week later I caught her kissing a friend of mine, I ended the relationship right there with her, and also stopped being friends with that other Guy...
    however my other friends where there with me ( the same that had been with me, peer pressured me into drugs and parties and had witnessed this)

    I split ways with that Girl, and still remained friends with those others guys (the one Guy I been friends with for 18 years, he was the one that was egging me along into these drugs and parties) I sat him down and his brother (i known them for a long time, hell I even did church camps with them in my youth)
    I told them my fears of these drugs and parties, and I also Asked them to not be friends with my ex, to choose a side basically..

    they have not till this day..
    low and behold a year later I found the love of my Life, and now fiance', she is an awesome woman, and is a qualified Game ranger here in southern Africa in the kruger region, although that is not what she does professionally, she is they type of girl that loves to CAMP and out doors etc.. the perfect Woman..
    anyway my friends still see my ex, still attend these parties and Myself and my Fiance are now every month lambasted with Social media of my Best mates of 18 years going around frequenting with my ex, it really makes me Irate, and It also HIGHLY upsets my fiance to see it also...


    What would you do?
    Last edited by Antonyraison; 01-16-2017 at 07:49 AM.
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  2. #2

    Default

    Don't tell others what to do.

    You can't know beforehand what will be your drug of choice or if you'll get hooked.

    Forgive and...

    Move on.

  3. #3
    Senior Member Antonyraison's Avatar
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    Default

    It's not so much as telling them not what to do, more of a concern, these guys where like family to me.
    Anyway.. I have mostly moved on from that, they can do what they want to.. I choose no part of it.
    I am just wondering if you would think being friends with them still is a good idea or not. I am airing on the side of NOT at all.
    My youtube: https://www.youtube.com/user/ultsmackdown Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/antonyraison/

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  4. #4
    Senior Member randyt's Avatar
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    Default

    personally I would not be friends with anyone that would try to peer pressure me into taking drugs.
    so the definition of a criminal is someone who breaks the law and you want me to believe that somehow more laws make less criminals?

  5. #5
    Senior Member Antonyraison's Avatar
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    Default

    I just feel that from my side, I suppose I get caught up in things, maybe.. I mean I been mates with this one particular dude scince I was 16 (ok so almost 20 years friends) I had been through a number of things with him when he had a divorce I took him in and helped him back to a good space.. I always choose my friends sides and stuck with them.. and well kinda to me feels like they don't show me the same mutual bro hood of respect.. Anyway. Just quite irate maybe a bit too much over it
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  6. #6

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    You are judge and jury with that. I don't even use my own name (my wife's. Bless her) on Facebook because of some past friends and employees. Cut ties. Don't want them looking me up. I'm no angel mind you. But I had to. I have a huge group of great friends and family now (I cut ties with some family BTW). If you're worried, you might heed my story.

  7. #7
    Senior Member Antonyraison's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by madmax View Post
    You are judge and jury with that. I don't even use my own name (my wife's. Bless her) on Facebook because of some past friends and employees. Cut ties. Don't want them looking me up. I'm no angel mind you. But I had to. I have a huge group of great friends and family now (I cut ties with some family BTW). If you're worried, you might heed my story.
    I hear and heed What you are saying.. you are right, and it's something being weighing on me heavily.. but yeah an old saying my parents would tell me is "Birds of a feather flock together"
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  8. #8
    Senior Member Antonyraison's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by randyt View Post
    personally I would not be friends with anyone that would try to peer pressure me into taking drugs.
    aye, well I cannot be certain if they still are or are not.
    as much as they seem to have their heads on straight with excellent careers, they still make decisions that I wouldn't agree with, not that it is any of my business, I suppose cause I had been a tad older than them when I had 1st met them, also cause I didnt have friends back then ( I was new to that area, and was a shy bullied kid) I kinda made friends with them in the church and yeah, we got up to a lot of typical teen shenanigans back then, I have More than grown up since then, however I always looked out for them, as I had always been put in charge in looking after them through various church outings back in the day, one could say I was always the older brother.
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  9. #9

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    I'd move to different part of the country. At least a days drive away and make new friends.

  10. #10
    Senior Member Antonyraison's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by rebel View Post
    I'd move to different part of the country. At least a days drive away and make new friends.
    hahahah, well I hardly see them, they dont really make the time for me but would make time to party with you know who.. anyway.. I feel the time is now to move on, like many of you suggest, I feel the same, just thought perhaps there was something I am overlooking here.
    I have a really good friend that I been doing my wilderness survival with, and made another great friend whom I have introduced to this World of survival also..
    I have realized there are men with old school morals, and respect for other like I have.
    Just need to vent a bit and get outside perspectives. Thanks guys, I am a man of this earth and wilderness and prefer surrounding myself with men of the same type of mind set that value their family, their friends and know what truly matters.
    My youtube: https://www.youtube.com/user/ultsmackdown Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/antonyraison/

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  11. #11

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    You do yoga, don't you Antony?

  12. #12
    Senior Member Antonyraison's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by madmax View Post
    You do yoga, don't you Antony?
    no, I do not do yoga. hahah why?
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  13. #13

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    It's a "sensitive, pc, hipster kinda thing" totally kidding my friend.

  14. #14
    Senior Member Antonyraison's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by madmax View Post
    It's a "sensitive, pc, hipster kinda thing" totally kidding my friend.
    hahahaha, I do not take any offence hahahah, yeah no, I am quiet chilled by most people's standards I think most would think I am a bit of a hippie .... So I would likely take that as a compliment.
    But hipster? no ways.. hahahah more like old school rock head (when I say old school 80ies rock and old blues based rock, like SRV,etc) my general style is mostly grunge (in other words I haven't updated any style since the 80ies) some would say I am a shaman, maybe I am maybe I am not.
    all I have is a boat load of chill and patience.
    Last edited by Antonyraison; 01-16-2017 at 09:35 AM.
    My youtube: https://www.youtube.com/user/ultsmackdown Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/antonyraison/

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  15. #15

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    Kinda figured that. I grew up earlier. You don't wear bell bottoms still? LOL.

    We're on the same page friend.

  16. #16
    Senior Member Antonyraison's Avatar
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    hahahahahaha no, I do not wear bell bottoms, I was not born in the 60ies or 70ies (wish I where though..) I am an 80ies baby Jeans mostly or camo pants, I generally wear things that are hard to break, cause, being 6.3 230lbs things break easily on me if they dont fit and are not strong.
    My youtube: https://www.youtube.com/user/ultsmackdown Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/antonyraison/

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  17. #17

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    Antony,

    You did not say you are 230lbs and wear a thong... did you?





    s

  18. #18

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    Here it comes...the burn your eyes out picture.

  19. #19
    Senior Member Antonyraison's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by madmax View Post
    Antony,

    You did not say you are 230lbs and wear a thong... did you?





    s
    No ways I shall never ever wear a thong..
    My youtube: https://www.youtube.com/user/ultsmackdown Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/antonyraison/

    (BOSWA) ELITE SURVIVAL RANGER - BSR/16/05

  20. #20
    Senior Member hunter63's Avatar
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    Default

    Just a few comments.....
    You seem to be working thru this in your own mind...and have already made the decision to dump the drama and move on.
    Continue to follow your heart.........

    Personally I don't see much good come from social media when it is being used as a bullying tool.
    Geezer Squad....Charter Member #1
    Evoking the 50 year old rule...
    First 50 years...worried about the small stuff...second 50 years....Not so much
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