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Thread: Wilderness toilet paper and pooping in the woods

  1. #21

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    Yep, tp and wet wipes. I aint scrubbing my heinie with pine cones or corn cobs!! I have used Mule Ears and Skunk Cabbage leaves, but TP is far better.

    And pick your spot carefully--- seriously, middle of the trail?? Have you no shame? I'll never forget my embarrassment at being discovered taking a dump. I'm out backpacking, two or three days out so I'm out beyond the day hikers. I find a log to perch on and there seems to be nothing around. I get comfy and mid dump, around a bend and down a trail section I missed comes two good looking gals. I froze, hoping not to be noticed, didn't work. They were laughing as they went by. Sometimes you just can't win.


  2. #22

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    Quote Originally Posted by Wildthang View Post
    Well I suppose if we were Arabic, there would be no issue with tissue. They just use their hand.......Ewwwwwwwwww!
    I heard they use their hand full of sand - OUCH !
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  3. #23
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    When all else fails, just pull on yesterday's underwear and hike down to the river.

  4. #24
    Senior Member hunter63's Avatar
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    While on week to 10 day hunting trips....we always changed out under wear daily......
    Day 1- OK
    Day 2-turn around
    Day 3 turn inside out
    Day 4 turn around back
    Day 5 change.....
    Mine to Ron, Ron to Brad, Brad to Joe, Joe back to me.....
    Day 6....... Start over........
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  5. #25
    Administrator Rick's Avatar
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    I just threw up in my mouth a little...again.

  6. #26
    Senior Member hunter63's Avatar
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    Well as been brought up....this is a crappy thread......and some things will "crack you up"........

    I refrain from more anecdotal responses.....LOL
    Geezer Squad....Charter Member #1
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  7. #27
    Senior Member WalkingTree's Avatar
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    I won't be asking to borrow anything from that dude's backpack.
    The pessimist complains about the wind;
    The optimist expects it to change;
    The realist adjusts the sails.

    - William Arthur Ward

  8. #28
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    Quote Originally Posted by Wildthang View Post
    Well I suppose if we were Arabic, there would be no issue with tissue. They just use their hand.......Ewwwwwwwwww!
    They use their left hand and are offended if you try to shake hands with your left hand. But doing it the Arabic way requires a water source and some type of soup or cleaning you hand in sand or dirt. Me personally I would find some nice sized leaves or some thick grass or moss even.

  9. #29
    Large bipedal Primate Billofthenorth's Avatar
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    I always try to burn or bury my TP.
    So far I've been lucky, the only place "we" were required to carry it out was Norway and the specific We that got to carry the *pizza boxes of partially frozen excreta (no matter how cold it got, it never fully froze) were the poor Navy Corpsmen under whose duties it fell.
    Fair seas and following winds Doc.

    * Plastic bag lined cardboard that always looked like something was leaking.
    Last edited by Billofthenorth; 05-30-2016 at 11:33 AM.

  10. #30

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    Quote Originally Posted by Rick View Post
    I just threw up in my mouth a little...again.
    So did I, but not from Hunter's underwear rotation protocols: I just noticed billofthenorth's avatar. Good lord, botn.
    Wilderness Survival:
    Surviving a temporary situation where you're lost in the wilderness

  11. #31

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    Wet wipes are very useful for this. If the tube is pulled out of the TP roll, the roll does not take up much space.
    Last edited by johnnyb1946; 09-10-2016 at 10:41 AM.

  12. #32
    Alaska, The Madness! 1stimestar's Avatar
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    Even when I was an UL back packer, I still found room for a bit o tp.
    Why do I live in Alaska? Because I can.

    Alaska, the Madness! Bloggity Stories of the North Country

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  13. #33

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    I am very confused on how you keep poop off your hands. It seems like an impossibility. How would you get the bacteria off? I am one of those has to wipe 50 times and it's horrible. I use wet wipes for everything. I just dont understand how you're able to get completely clean down there in the wild with a rock or stick. It seems like there will always be something sticking to your butt and hands.

  14. #34
    Senior Member hunter63's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by milkyway12 View Post
    I am very confused on how you keep poop off your hands. It seems like an impossibility. How would you get the bacteria off? I am one of those has to wipe 50 times and it's horrible. I use wet wipes for everything. I just dont understand how you're able to get completely clean down there in the wild with a rock or stick. It seems like there will always be something sticking to your butt and hands.
    Maybe you better stick with modern technology.......
    Life and most anything from the good old days were stinky...

    People didn't bathe, was considered un-healthy, probably was as the water was all contaminated, sewage was thrown in the street, people worn powdered wigs because of fleas........clothes were washed in urine to "whiten them".....

    And yup, wiped their butt with their hand smooth rock, corn cobs, leaves...or a sponge on a stick soaked in vinegar....paper was too valuable to wipe your butte.
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  15. #35

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    Quote Originally Posted by milkyway12 View Post
    I am very confused on how you keep poop off your hands. It seems like an impossibility. How would you get the bacteria off? I am one of those has to wipe 50 times and it's horrible. I use wet wipes for everything. I just dont understand how you're able to get completely clean down there in the wild with a rock or stick. It seems like there will always be something sticking to your butt and hands.
    Well. If you're that worried about germs maybe the outdoors isn't for you. Man survived a long time before TP.

    That said. Diarrhea killed more in the civil war than bullets. Aaaah. 10 lbs lighter. Jerky? No thanks.

  16. #36
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    Back in the half-moon house day's, thousand page mail order catalogs were all the rage.

    Worst situation I ever experienced was at a French Foreign Legionnaires base in Djibouti: The tiny stall made me turn my shoulders on a 45 to gain access, I learned what Africa HOT meant, and the French use waxed onionskin paper for TP. Even if you wiped with your finger, it was sweating so much, the waxed onionskin paper would slide off even a finger without moving the feces. Those French Frogs have quite a sense of humor.

  17. #37
    Administrator Rick's Avatar
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    No. Oh, no. He didn't survive. He existed. That's all. He bemoaned every tummy rumble and morning urge knowing that he would have to wait hundreds of years for TP. What do you think made Billy the Kid so angry? Or Attila the Hun? Lack of TP. Of course, Attila the Hun could always use someone's head. I understand he had a few of those floating around.

    Hand sanitizer is your friend.

  18. #38
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    Quote Originally Posted by Rick View Post
    No. Oh, no. He didn't survive. He existed. That's all. He bemoaned every tummy rumble and morning urge knowing that he would have to wait hundreds of years for TP. What do you think made Billy the Kid so angry? Or Attila the Hun? Lack of TP. Of course, Attila the Hun could always use someone's head. I understand he had a few of those floating around.

    Hand sanitizer is your friend.
    Perhaps we shouldn't discuss the toiletry habits of Southeastern/Asian folks and the Japanese! Consider that they were civilized long before America was even discovered. Poop is a time honored question.

    This reminds me of the Rabbit and the Bear.

    The Rabbit was honored as the mighty BEAR asked him if stuff stuck to his fur, when they were pooping side-by-side in the woods. The Rabbit told the mighty bear that he had never experienced poop sticking to his fur while doing his business in the woods. The mighty bear Thanked the lowly rabbit for his input, then proceeded to wipe his behind with the rabbit upon completing his toiletries.

    I'm a little aged, what was the moral of this story again?

  19. #39
    Senior Member hunter63's Avatar
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    Morel to that story...."Nothing good ever comes from speaking to bears......?"
    "Please don't throw me in the brier patch"
    Geezer Squad....Charter Member #1
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  20. #40

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    I am all about TP, bring a lot and keep it dry. Baby wipes and hand sanitizer are a must have.

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