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Thread: Time for a bribe

  1. #21
    Not a Mod finallyME's Avatar
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    One of my college classes was how to be condescending and smug.
    I grew up with a dad who didn't have a degree. My whole life growing up, my dad told me to get a degree. He hated his job and worked for money to support his family. He saw what a degree brought other people. All 5 of his kids have a degree..
    I spent my life surrounded by people who didn't have a degree. I gained a deep respect for them. I moved to an area that was predominately blue collar working class. I just get along with them better.
    When I took my son to meet my brother at his work.... guess what all the foremen told him? These are all the guys in charge of the work crews. They had worked their way up from nothing. They all told my son to get good grades and get a college degree. Why would they say that if they were satisfied?
    I was motivated to finish my degree by working several manual labor jobs, from landscaping to shoveling to installing sprinklers. What I saw was that the business owner made money, and no one else did. That is the same with the jobs I have had with my degree. The only difference is that employees with a degree always make more money than employees without one. A really good friend of mine, who I have learned a lot from, is the janitor at our elementary school. He makes less than the teachers. Why is that? He is older and wiser than me, and catches way more fish than I can ever. Every time he takes me fishing, I try to copy him and learn from him, but he is still way better. I don't look down on him as a janitor, I see him as a trusted friend who works hard to provide for his family.

    Nell, my son has ADHD. We don't drug him, never had. He has several friends who are also ADHD. He is not as bad as some of them (bad with ADHD not behavior wise). When I take them camping, they lose most of the ADHD symptoms. I think the outdoors does something to them. Too bad they can't have school outside.
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  2. #22
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    Quote Originally Posted by finallyME View Post
    One of my college classes was how to be condescending and smug.
    I grew up with a dad who didn't have a degree. My whole life growing up, my dad told me to get a degree. He hated his job and worked for money to support his family. He saw what a degree brought other people. All 5 of his kids have a degree..
    I spent my life surrounded by people who didn't have a degree. I gained a deep respect for them. I moved to an area that was predominately blue collar working class. I just get along with them better.
    When I took my son to meet my brother at his work.... guess what all the foremen told him? These are all the guys in charge of the work crews. They had worked their way up from nothing. They all told my son to get good grades and get a college degree. Why would they say that if they were satisfied?
    I was motivated to finish my degree by working several manual labor jobs, from landscaping to shoveling to installing sprinklers. What I saw was that the business owner made money, and no one else did. That is the same with the jobs I have had with my degree. The only difference is that employees with a degree always make more money than employees without one. A really good friend of mine, who I have learned a lot from, is the janitor at our elementary school. He makes less than the teachers. Why is that? He is older and wiser than me, and catches way more fish than I can ever. Every time he takes me fishing, I try to copy him and learn from him, but he is still way better. I don't look down on him as a janitor, I see him as a trusted friend who works hard to provide for his family.

    Nell, my son has ADHD. We don't drug him, never had. He has several friends who are also ADHD. He is not as bad as some of them (bad with ADHD not behavior wise). When I take them camping, they lose most of the ADHD symptoms. I think the outdoors does something to them. Too bad they can't have school outside.

    Good for you...I have ADHD myself, and while medication isn't a bad idea for some, i don't think it should be a universal thing. I wasn't medicated as a kid, it made for rough going occasionally...things like math that didn't interest me I couldn't focus on well in school, for example...but with work and a certain amount of grit, you can learn to work with it, and turn some aspects into strengths rather than weaknesses.

  3. #23
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    Quote Originally Posted by natertot View Post
    Grizz, you being a successful, non-college educated, business owner makes you the exception and not the rule. That is something to be commended for, but is not the reality for an overwhelming majority of people. Many things take education regardless. Can't open up a clinic or a vet office without having the college education in those fields, or experience in those fields for that matter. If you are a fence washer owner, port-a-potty service owner, car wash owner or the like without a college degree and are happy, good on you. Not everyone is cut out to be a business owner, though, or they desire to own a business in a field that requires extensive knowledge. I have worked for people a lot during my life, and I enjoy the relationships that I build with my bosses and employers. Some of my former employers have become friends of mine and many have taught me things beyond the job that I will carry forever. Just remember, you are the exception and not the rule.
    Quote Originally Posted by crashdive123 View Post
    Gee. Let's see....got a college degree and have worked for others and own my own business. With a condescending attitude that was displayed in post #13 I'm pretty sure that I would have to close up shop and go work for somebody else again.

    Yeah - good luck with that.
    Quote Originally Posted by BENESSE View Post
    Grizz, I don't know how old you are and what your experience has been so far to make you think the way you do. You might have overcome a lot of challenges to get to where you are today, but obviously you carry some deep seated bitterness that is bound to affect your work and interaction with people. If you have kids I sincerely hope you keep it all in check.
    Well my original response was poorly communicated because I was not saying a college education was bad, I was trying to point out that the OP was being condescending towards non-college educated people. I was also trying to say that if his kids decide not to go to college it will not be the end of the world for them and he should not put that thought in their heads.

  4. #24
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    Quote Originally Posted by Grizz123 View Post
    College is great if you're interested in working for someone else the rest of your life. Personally I found freedom and happiness when I started my own business and I do not have a degree.

    A few disconnects in your reasoning there, grizz. One can start his/her own business even with a college degree and find freedom and happiness in being self employed. Which doesn't mean you can't achieve the same without one the way you did.

    BTW, when I see some of you college educated condescending, smug attitudes, my prices go up. Its a shame your parents didnt teach you to respect everyone regardless of their education or profession. You pull your pants down to use the bathroom same as everyone else, a college degree does not change that.

    There are A holes with and without college degrees. The fact you only had issues with those who went to college is curious. Obviously you don't respect everyone regardless of education or profession or you wouldn't have such bitter bias against people who went to college.

    Read what I wrote! I never mentioned I only had issues with college educated, smug people, I said when I encounter them I raise prices. I respect everyone and expect the same in return, when I don't get it I treat people like they treat me or walk away or raise their prices to pay for the headache they gave me

    Sucky jobs??? Most people do what they do because they enjoy it, whether or not you think its sucky has nothing to do with their decision. How can you be so smug, arrogant and condescending??? Is your life so miserable you need to look down on others to make yourself feel better??

    I don't know whether most people do what they do because they enjoy it or because they'd rather work than be unemployed. Let's be honest: any job is better than no job, but some jobs are better than others in terms of fulfillment and a chance to grow and prosper. The more option you have in getting such a job, the better. How can that be a bad thing and how would you not want that for your children?!

    Grizz, I don't know how old you are and what your experience has been so far to make you think the way you do. You might have overcome a lot of challenges to get to where you are today, but obviously you carry some deep seated bitterness that is bound to affect your work and interaction with people. If you have kids I sincerely hope you keep it all in check.

    Its not deep seated bitterness, its pointing out that a person does not need college to make a good living, be happy or be respected, which is not what the OP was teaching his kid.

  5. #25
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    It also depends on who you are as to if the job sucks or not. I love my job. It's important to me to feel as if I am making a contribution to my chosen society, standing up for those who are no longer able to stand alone. My job would also scare the **** out of most women I know. I also live on call with the exception of my vacation times. That is not acceptable to most people. But since they pay me for it, I welcome it. One person's sucky job is another persons challenge.
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    A sucky job is one where you are underpaid, overworked and disrespected. Doesn't matter what you do or how much you love it. You could be a lawyer in a white shoe firm, a high school teacher or a migrant worker. A sucky job is one that makes you miserable but even worse than that is knowing you're stuck in it with no prospects of doing better.

    Most of us have had sucky jobs--you know it when you're in it. It can either be a stepping stone or a dead end--up to us to decide which.

  7. #27
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    Grizz - There is no reason to throw out challenges and exclamation points. Every single person that read your post came away with the same opinion. That's why you received the responses you did. If you communicated poorly, as you indicated, that's fine. We all do it from time to time. Having left it there would have been the respectable thing to do. But then to come back and point the finger at someone who responded as if it were their fault was a little over the top.

  8. #28
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    I have to agree with Rick.....
    You offered your opinion...People didn't agree......Time to move on.
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    My daughter and SIL are currently dealing with a similar situation with my oldest grand daughter, who is 12 and two months shy of 13. She is very smart and it think bored with school. She constantly earns detention for not turning in assigned work or signing (forging) her mothers name on papers sent home for her parents to sign and return to the teacher or school. They have tried taking away things she likes and bribing her with things she wants, with limited success. Part of the problem, from my point of view, is that my daughter, inspite of a graduate degree in education, simply does not/will not stay involved with her daughters. It is left to my SIL to do the parenting. Inspite of my 37 years as an educater, from elementary through college age students, I have discovered that there is no magic formula to motivate students. What works for one probably wont work for the next. They have to find that opportunity that really grabs their interest and really turns them on. The best we can do is expose them to as many different opportunities as possible.
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  10. #30
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    Grizz, I will be the first to apologize. I did sound condescending in my remarks. If you knew me, you might think different, or the same, I don't know. At work, I am generally condescending toward all the PhDs I have to work with. Sometimes too much education can get to your head and take you away from reality. I only have a BS. I have had to train some people who have a masters in the same field. I had to teach them a lot of stuff that you can't learn in school, but that I was taught by my Dad or other blue collar workers, or just talking with the machinists.

    As for my son, my dad told me when I was a teenager that he would be happy with whatever career I chose, as long as I worked hard and provided for my family. I tell my kids the same thing. However, I still need to teach them the realities of life. Most people who don't have a college degree wish they had, and most who have a degree in a non-STEM field find out that they really don't use it much. There are always exceptions to the rule...that is why there is a bell curve. I would rather they had an opportunity to go to college and then pass it up then not have that opportunity in the first place. And, the only people who really make money are business owners, and as Rich Dad/Poor Dad will tell you...no one cares what grades you got in school if you are the business owner.
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  11. #31

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    I believe you are alwase better off with a degree, training, military service, Or any combination of the three. I have none of the three, and would probably be doing alot better if I had the skill sets acquired from any one of them. Lots of people work hard. People work hard studying, working at the same time and being alert in a classroom (where I could fall asleep when I'm fully rested)and manage to learn and get a degree. Some people work hard find a craft or skill set they are good with or enjoy and even work hard to build there own company from scratch. But neither of these types ever seem condescending just because they point out the hard work they have accomplished, the benifit that came from the fruits of their labor, or even proud of the hard work they have done, and belive it is a root worth traveling.

    As far as the shot gun goes. I have to agree with hunter, The father son bonding thing goes a long way. My dad got us all shotguns as soon as we were able to hunt(I don't know if they were just gifts or just an excuse he could get past my mother for a reason to buy a new gun). I think the trick would be something along the lines of giving him the gun as a gift and making him work for the shooting/hunting trips. Yeah we can go shoot/hunt but i have to have my so and so work done and you have to have your school work done.Then you can get him the gun (I will take any reason i can to get a new gun) and because you probably want to get it anyway. You are both working toward that goal. And you are showing him you dont get to go either if you dont work for it. If he comes up short o well i got my work done i get to go. Its not a punishment or bribe, you just can't relax till all the work is done, and thats something you learn degree or no. Also it gives you a reason to say something like how's subject/project whatever going in school , and this and that is really going good at work and I'm on scedulal for this trip. Also is there something i can do to help so we can get out there. if he gives up you still have a shotgun, so just make sure you like it to.

    Im new to posting on forums and I'm posting from my phone so this is all new and tricky to me. But I was reading back there about someone with a BS and thought well I'm full of BS so if at any time this post seems odd, or the advice seems poor, please just refer to that.

  12. #32
    Administrator Rick's Avatar
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    There are certainly varying degrees one can acquire with a BS. Varying depths as well.

  13. #33
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    Ooooooooooookay, so is it a ,223 and 20 gauge????????

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    Bearing in mind, Winnie jnr didn't do well at school,I just showed him the OP, his response was."Good luck with that, I would have improved my grades just long enough to get the goodies and gone straight back to my old ways." Some kids just don't or won't learn.
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  15. #35
    Resident Wildman Wildthang's Avatar
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    I think bribing children just assures them even more that they are in control of you!

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    Today, whatever works and if it gives you quality time together,more power to you. Shotgun and the 223 is a good combo as i believe you or an adult must accompany your son while afield in UTAH...
    As for education,lets not get too off track....I finished high school and took a year off,then,because a university was just a few miles away,i decided (With the help of what is called a COUNSELLOR today)
    i took two semesters studying AGRONOMY (SOIL SCIENCE) a waste of MY time and money. (Grandparents had very little). I got involved with the marine industry and it became pretty much a life long enjoyable career. Had my own business and as a lot of people i know,did so without without a college/university degree.
    It takes dedication and hard ''smart'' work.
    My daughter (34)and son in law have a very successful construction company...building high end homes from the ''breaking ground'' to the finished home. At 13 years old,i would not be overly concerned at what it takes to have your son improve his grades..........lots of EXPERTS giving advice on the net.......... talk to close friends and family.......that is where the GOOD advice is....and again,spending time together.....that is what counts... good luck. WC
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  17. #37
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    Quote Originally Posted by WC
    lots of EXPERTS giving advice on the net


    Sooooo....is your advice from an EXPERT on the net?

  18. #38
    Not a Mod finallyME's Avatar
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    After last night trying to get him to finish up his assignments that he hasn't turned in before the end of the term..... I highly doubt he will be getting a shotgun this summer. So, you can all rest easy knowing that I am not bribing my kid.
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