We Got Bad News and Need Your Prayers.

[Mattkg]

So sorry for your loss Rick

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[Batch]

I am very sorry for your loss Rick.

[Desert Rat!]

Sad to hear this news Rick, sorry for your loss, a prayer sent for you and your family.

[Winnie]

Oh Rick, I'm so very sad hear your wife has passed. Please accept my condolences for you and the family.

[randyt]

Sorry for your loss Rick, God Bless

[MrFixIt]

Please accept my heartfelt condolences, praying for you and your family.

[ClayPick]

That's the kind of bad news you can't prepare for. Wishing you and your family all the best.

[1stimestar]

My thoughts and prayers are with you Rick. Please do ask for help of your friends and family when you need it

[BENESSE]

My dear Rick, I am sick at heart for you and your family. Too soon, not fair.
Please accept my deepest condolences and heartfelt prayers.

(meant to say "terrible news" in the headline...was too flustered to think)

[Rick]

You folks are the best. You don't know how much all of the kind words and prayers mean to me. I guess we all have to face it at some time. She will be cremated and we are having her service this Saturday. She and I picked out the urn well before New Years and we had already received it so she knew what it looked like. It's a companion urn so when it's my time I'll be added with her and we'll spend eternity (or some portion thereof) together. Here's a pic of the urn.

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The urn will be housed inside in a niche room. This is sort of what it looks like. She will be behind glass.

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[1stimestar]

Yes we all have to face it at some time. Doesn't make it better though. I would say I remember those days well but frankly, I have little memory of those first few days. Too much fog that I don't really want to clear away. Do you have kids? I hope they are all there with you. That is a beautiful urn and location to keep it.

[nell67]

Rick, I am so very sorry, my heart breaks for you. My oldest sons step-father in law passed unexpectedly on the 31st. his mother in law seems to be in limbo, not believing he is gone one minute, and overwhelming grief the next. Most of the time she just seems to be going through the motions of day to day activities.

She is somewhat comforted by knowing that he was an organ donor, so a part of him is living on in others. This spring, I will be planting a pawpaw tree in honor of your wife.

[Winter]

My condolences Rick.

[Rick]

Yes, 1st, I have three kids and five grand kids all around me so that's a huge comfort. Nell, my wife was also an organ donor but because of the cancer we couldn't fulfill that wish. A pawpaw tree would be awesome!! Thank you so much. I have two immature trees in the back yard. Those things take forever to grow but, hopefully, some day I'll be picking pawpaws.

[natertot]

Hey Rick, it is good to see you on here. I know it has been a few days and I was starting to get concerned for you. Despite the circumstances, it sounds like you are holding well. Stay close to the family and know that we are here for you to. Hang in there buddy.

[BENESSE]

That's a truly beautiful urn and it's nice that you picked it together. At most difficult times in life you get this incredible strength to deal with it and get through with grace and you and your wife had done it together. How lucky to have had 41 wonderful years side by side! That in itself is a blessing and a rarity these days. May it also be a comfort to you as you reflect back.

[Rick]

It is, B. I try not to feel cheated but count my lucky stars that we had 41 years. Given the cancer diagnosis I knew what she would have to endure and this, as bad as it is, prevented her from having to endure that. So I'm thankful for that, too. No matter how bad things are you just have to remember they could be worse and look for the positives. Sometimes they are so small they are hard to see and sometimes so few that you have trouble finding them but they are there and you have to grab them with both hands.

Nater - I appreciate your concern. I will get through this. I'm not the first to lose a spouse and I won't be the last so I take inspiration from those I know that have been down this road. Kyrat's words were very welcome.

Sometimes things are just so weird. We have an ornate candle set that normally sits on the dining room table. For the holidays my wife moved it. Yesterday I was tearing the house apart trying to figure out where the danged thing was. I finally said out loud, "Would you just give me a hint?" I then walked right to it. It was behind a chest in the corner tucked safely out of the way. All I could think to say was, Thanks.

[hunter63]

I was gonna mention the "looking for stuff thing".....that happens in every house I think.

Did it with my Dad, my Mother, MIL....and lately as I am trying to care for DW after her knee surgery....I am becoming painfully aware that I don't know where a LOT of stuff even IS....as I don't deal with a lot of it on a regular basis.

I think they hide stuff on purpose.....
I feel your pain.....but she will let you know, in little flashes, how and where when you need it.
Hang in there.

[jennlashua1973]

I am truly sorry for your loss Rick. I send you a cyber hug. I am planting Lilacs this spring. I will pick a good strong one for your wife. A heart attack took a good friend of mine three weeks ago. She was like a second mother to me. I understand where you are good sir.

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[LowKey]

Rick, I'm losing all my hemlock trees to woolly adelgid on a little knoll in my side yard and they will be coming down soon. I was just ordering a mixed lot of a dozen balsam fir, red pines and red cedars. When I replant in spring I will think of your wife, along with others.
From death, life.