What am I getting myself into?

[DKott25]

Before I elaborate I'll first say I have decided to backpack as many call it across the U.S. Not across per-say, I have not decided where I want to go yet. I'm in the beginning stages of research and finding the best fit. I am doing this for different reasoning than most. I don't want to get in grave detail but I want to throw out the basics to give you a general idea of why I made this decision. I've had severe social anxiety my entire life on top of drug and alcohol addiction. Through the course of it all I've done every possible treatment available times 10. I need to try something different and I came up with a quite different approach to treating the severity of my issues. I can't fully explain to you why I believe this may work but it's not an impulsive decision. "If" I can survive this journey I believe I will come out a different person. What no treatment facility, hospital, therapist, or medication could accomplish.

I will be researching and reading for the next two weeks morning to night. I am not going to get up and leave without having every possible obstacle, danger, threat, etc covered. I have enough money to buy all the supplies to begin the journey but that is all. I have $1000 to my name and nothing more which will mostly be used on supplies before the trek begins. I will basically be going in head on without money. I understand the dangers I will be facing. Or at least the obvious dangers. Doing this without money is not smart. I fully understand that. But my current lifestyle is just as dangerous and I feel this adventure could help with my social anxiety as well as depression or whatever mental/psychological issues I have. I acknowledge the dangers but I feel, almost know it's something I have to do. Without you knowing where I'm backpacking it too it's harder to give advice. Anything will help, especially resources that could help with this journey.

[hunter63]

Hunter63 saying Hey and Welcome.

Can you walk out the door?.....from where ever you are staying, in whatever part of whatever country, and be warm and dry for a day?
Or are you going to need gear?

Actually I think you are being completely unrealistic in this "project".....

Sounds like a movie out there right now.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Wild_(film)

Good luck on your journey,.... you are correct in thinking that details might help with advice.....I don't know where to even start.

[kyratshooter]

It does not matter how far you walk, crawl, drive or fly your "issues" will still be with you.

In fact, on the road they are often amplified.

We found a guy that tried what you are doing near my home a couple of years back. He had died of exposure, in his tent, in a wooded patch beside the interstate. Apparently he had been dead for a couple of years. He was remarkably well preserved, almost mummified.

[madmax]

You won't lose the addictions. You may develop coping skills. I say atta boy and go for it. Feel free to pm me for support. Anything I can help with. Been there done that. Stand strong.

[wilderness medic]

Your name wouldn't happen to be Cheryl would it?

[Rick]

Doing this without money is not smart.

So why even consider it? You're reasoning above doesn't justify your statement. And two weeks to research everything and buy all your gear is a bit of a pipe dream don't you think?

[crashdive123]

I applaud your efforts to make a course correction in your life. By making the drastic change that you are thinking of you may remove yourself from some of the destructive influences in your life. That can be a good thing. Keep in mind that you will still be an addict - that struggle will never change. You may get better at coping with it, but that "beast" will always be there.

We often have people join the forum to get advice on running off to the woods because they are sick of society, when in reality it is their inner demons that are controlling their lives. In those cases the problems can intensify as all of the problems are packed for the trip, but none of the filters come along.

Good luck - it will be a long and tough journey. If we can help, let us know.

[Auban]

i did something kinda like this... i went off into a swamp and just got away from everything for a while. a few months.

it didnt make any difference with the issues i had going on at the time, but it did seem like i knew myself better afterwords. i ended up cutting my stay short by a couple weeks because i got lazy one day and drank swampy water that hadnt quite boiled yet.

never been so sick in my life...

[DKott25]

I had planned for these responses. First off yes, I have seen "Wild". Great movie but the complete opposite of my situation and reasoning. Cheryl was running away from her problems. I'm facing them. I've lived my entire life in fear. Snakes being one of them. I have a deeper fear of snakes than most so currently I am working on overcoming that before I make this trek. While on that subject, any tips on facing that fear? Once an addict always an addict. I know that. It's not about addiction, running away, or whatever most believe I'm doing. I'm doing this for reasons that not many if any at all have done it for. Reasons I can't explain or don't feel necessary to explain. Though addiction plays a role in this decision it's not my main goal in the expedition. I've always loved the quote...long before "Into the Wild" was made. "And I also know how important it is in life not necessarily to be strong but to feel strong, to measure yourself at least once, to find yourself at least once in the most ancient of human conditions, facing blind, deaf stone alone, with nothing to help you but your own hands and your own head".

Is it unrealistic? Yes. Are the odds against me? Yes. But it's not something I feel the need to do or want to do, it's something I have to do.

[wilderness medic]

Now that it seems you're serious and not a troll.

1. Wild was a terrible movie.

2. Go see some friendly snakes at the pet store and hold them. It's just a big worm, nothing to be scared of....

3. Besides getting over a fear of snakes, how is this facing your problems? It still seems like running to me. Sure it can be therapeutic, but its not something to do with a cloudy head.

4. Stick around and ask a bunch Of questions.

[kyratshooter]

You are quoting "Into The Wild" ??

You do realize that Mc Candless died ?

You say this is something you HAVE to do,,,,,

What if you fail?

Death is one result.

The other is realization that you can not deal with your shortcomings on your own and do not trust any person or thing to assist you, therefore there is no hope.

Now that's a scary thought...

[hunter63]

Still don't see anything to go on...or help you with.

[DKott25]

Now that it seems you're serious and not a troll.

1. Wild was a terrible movie.

2. Go see some friendly snakes at the pet store and hold them. It's just a big worm, nothing to be scared of....

3. Besides getting over a fear of snakes, how is this facing your problems? It still seems like running to me. Sure it can be therapeutic, but its not something to do with a cloudy head.

4. Stick around and ask a bunch Of questions.

I'm wanting to get over my fear of snakes because I will be coming across many along the way. It has nothing to do with facing my problems. It's simply just something I'm planning ahead for. I actually worked at a pet store for 7 years. My morning task was to attend to the animals. Always had someone else tend to the snake. Thought I tried twice to hold it. Both times I passed out.

Yes I know he died. I don't know how accurate the movie is so I make assumptions about the truth but going solely off the movie what he did I would never do. I will not stray to deep from society. I will cross an area where I feel I may get lost or become trapped. I will not go to deep into the woods. I have maps of every state. I have in depth maps on my phone that doesn't require network connection. I can use GPS without having any internet connection. In the end, without understand my situation in depth and why I feel this is necessary it's hard for anyone to truly understand my logic and reasoning. Of course you will see this as illogical and unreasonable. From where you are standing I understand why.

[crashdive123]

I don't profess to know the answer, but there are a lot of options for overcoming the fear of snakes. I couldn't tell you what works and what doesn't - just throwing it out there. https://www.google.com/webhp?sourcei...%20of%20snakes

[DKott25]

Still don't see anything to go on...or help you with.

You're right, I'm not giving much for you to go off of. I guess I can ask for suggestions on where to go. I haven't decided what state I want to go to. A state known for being friendly and welcoming. One that isn't as dangerous as a state like Arizona. One that consists of beauty, nature, etc...until I decide where I am going it's hard to truly begin my research.

[hunter63]

Well, good luck...you seem to want to keep this a big secret, or don't know yet.......
I guess I would have wait till had something to discuss before bring it up.

May a fair wind and sunshine be at your back on your travels.......and carry a snake stick, (everyone outa carry a stick, to use as you see fit.)

[Lamewolf]

You need to watch the movie "Into the Wild" ! A true story about what can happen to folks that take on such a feat without proper training and skills. Doing things that way can and will kill you !

[DKott25]

You need to watch the movie "Into the Wild" ! A true story about what can happen to folks that take on such a feat without proper training and skills. Doing things that way can and will kill you !

Actually I've seen it about 10 times. It's an inspiration to me. While what I am doing dangerous and potentially fatal I am not taking the same approach as Christopher McCandles. I say two weeks of research and obviously that is not enough. Though the two weeks consists of over 12-13 hours a day of research. I do have some basic knowledge. I was homeless for a year and I built a shelter, more-so a fortress in the woods. It took me at least 140 hours to build and I did it without money. Different scenario than what I will be venturing out to do because I did a lot of dumpster diving and logging two by fours, wood, computer desks, whatever I could find to create a secure and firm shelter. It consisted of many layers of walling. Two layers of wood, 1 layer of branches, sticks, and various things from the woods. 2 layers of cardboard, 1 layer of thick high end insulation I found thrown away. Than ending with numerous rotations of surround wrap followed by branches and sticks covering all of it as camouflage. I checked on it for the first time in 7 months and it's the same way I left it. It was a brutal winter here and not a drop of water or snow got inside. No animal got inside. It can survive just about anything and will probably be standing to the day I die. It blocked out the cold. I slept inside many times in -20 to -30 degree weather. Anyways, I learned some basic skills during that time. I am also a perfectionist. If in two weeks I feel I don't have every possible obstacle or danger covered I will not leave until I do. I will leave no stone unturned. Christopher McCandles did things I would never do. He didn't take any proper precautions. The movie inspires me though. In ways most wouldn't understand. I guess in the end it's more about my anxiety and fear that has held me back from doing anything in my life. I've been to over 20-25 treatment facilities, 15 therapists, and on and on. It just did not work. This is my way crazy idea of overcoming what has held me back for so long and I believe it will work. Will it work? It may, it may not. Will I survive? I may, I may not. But it's a risk I'm willing to take.

[1stimestar]

"And I also know how important it is in life not necessarily to be strong but to feel strong, to measure yourself at least once, to find yourself at least once in the most ancient of human conditions, facing blind, deaf stone alone, with nothing to help you but your own hands and your own head".

Is it unrealistic? Yes. Are the odds against me? Yes. But it's not something I feel the need to do or want to do, it's something I have to do.

Heh, I had that as my signature line somewhere for a long time.

[randyt]

there's always the AT, you could start about anywhere but I prefer Tennessee. The AT went by my parents house, at the road there was Uncle Johnnys hostel. I think it cost 19 dollars a night to stay there.