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Thread: "Crappy Subject,Not fish related"

  1. #1

    Default "Crappy Subject,Not fish related"

    Ok as the title states.Let's say you have abandoned all resources to clean up yourself after nature calls,what'll use next? I'm sure this thread is gonna be amusing and maybe somewhat helpful,could go either way I'm sure,so have at it.
    "Failing to plan is Planning to fail"


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    I was hunting with a guy who came back to camp with only one glove. I asked what happened and he said (I cleaned up the language to make it family friendly) he had to use the bathroom and needed all for fingers of the glove to clean up, it wasn't worth saving. But he kept the other glove in case he had to go again

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    Senior Member hunter63's Avatar
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    Found the cuff of a orange sweatshirt.....that had been used.....

    Funny part was I could see it off in the distance, 50-70 yards or so while sitting in my deer stand.....when some one else came down the trail.....didn't see me on the ridge....but saw the cuff.

    Stopped and looked....walked over to it, about ten yards, looked at it, picked it up....and threw it down really quick, as soon as he saw, and smelled what it was......guess it didn't take him long to look at it.......LOL
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    Administrator Rick's Avatar
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    There's always something even if it's natural. Lambs ear, a clump of grass, snow, tree leaves or rocks. There's all sorts of stuff you can use. Even a dewy meadow will work if you're talented enough.

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  5. #5

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    Quote Originally Posted by Rick View Post
    There's always something even if it's natural. Lambs ear, a clump of grass, snow, tree leaves or rocks. There's all sorts of stuff you can use. Even a dewy meadow will work if you're talented enough.

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    Sure as heck not using a tree or rock and definitely not skooting my back end across a dewy meadow,no telling what someone might think if they saw that activity going on.
    "Failing to plan is Planning to fail"

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    Senior Member hunter63's Avatar
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    Three corn cobs......brown, white, and maybe brown again if necessary.
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    Quote Originally Posted by hunter63 View Post
    Three corn cobs......brown, white, and maybe brown again if necessary.
    Like the Three Sea Shells?


    lol kidding aside.

    Your hand, main reason left hand being offered for a shake is an insult in many parts of the world.

    In a perfect situation you would be consuming enough fiber to make wiping not even needed... I have never reached this point but its a real thing. A truly healthy BM requires little to no wiping. However I like to follow up with a baby wipe after my normal wipe just to be extra fresh. Guests sometimes wonder why I have baby wipe containers all over the place if all my children are passed the diaper stage. lol

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    Paper that is cheap enough to use it to wipe you butt is a new thing in history. Before 1900 and the wide distribution of the Sears Robuck and Montgomery Ward mail order catalogues wiping with paper was unknown.

    Some cultures did not wipe.

    The Romans used a sponge dipped in water.

    many cultures washed after each call of nature.

    Some cultures used sand. Yes sand!

    Some cultures use what can only be called an A$$ rag. A piece of cloth that is used, then washed and used again.

    That was the common method of cleaning up babies before the invention of "wet wipes" which have become almost universal in our culture. You used cloth diapers, which you washed, and you cleaned the baby with cloth wipes which you washed with the diapers.

    And, as mentioned above, handshaking has not always been a welcomed greeting. Shaking hands never crossed social class lines and was done only while wearing gloves, which were also more common for daily wear in the past and specifically worn to protect you from the filth around you.
    Last edited by kyratshooter; 03-13-2015 at 02:59 PM.
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    Senior Member MrFixIt's Avatar
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    I have actually used my socks, my underwear, and once upon a time, I cut the sleeve off my shirt.
    And that's all I'm gonna say 'bout that.
    When all else fails, read the directions, and beware the Chihuahuacabra!

  10. #10

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    I have been in deer camp with guys that have come back with out socks or with one sleeve missing. I have used leaves and have read of many plants that can be used. I carry TP in all my packs and vehicles.

    Also, when we were teenagers some would go IN the water to do their business. But, you get some back rolling floaters. So, I avoid that method.

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    Napkins, paper, and dried grass are what I have used in a pinch. Much prefer tp.
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    When I was a lad, one of my buddies used poison ivy to clean himself. I asked him how he could use it and he said that he was immune. Weeks later, he could stop the treatment. DO NOT use that method!

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  13. #13

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    richbat i think that dog has worms when i was little my sheep dog did that on the floor took her to the vet.
    try checking her stool when you take her out.

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    Senior Member hunter63's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by hayshaker View Post
    richbat i think that dog has worms when i was little my sheep dog did that on the floor took her to the vet.
    try checking her stool when you take her out.
    While that may be true...or impacted anal glands........that was a ad for Stanly Steamer carpet cleaner......LOL

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    Don't pick three of the finest leaves, just strip off a whole branch full. . If you must use grass or ferns then twist and fold. Different colors of cobs are because some cobs are younger, softer and a different color. If you use paper then you must condition and wad it up a lot. Avoid slippery colored paper. If you have bibs, be careful of your galluses and maybe grab a branch and lean back slightly. If you are somewhere that has rags hanging where toilet paper normally is....choose wisely.

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    Administrator Rick's Avatar
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    We need to pitch in and buy some sense of humor.

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    In the mountains near us there are these small plants that are nothing but big leaves soft and fuzzy, I've used them. Not sure what they are called but it worked good. I was a little scared the first time not knowing.
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    Senior Member hunter63's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by backtobasics View Post
    In the mountains near us there are these small plants that are nothing but big leaves soft and fuzzy, I've used them. Not sure what they are called but it worked good. I was a little scared the first time not knowing.
    Sounds like Mullen leaves.....Yes, they work pretty well.

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    Tried drying them out and save for later...just cut some and laid out to dry.....wind blew away my first attempt.

    So strung them on a piece of twine, to dry......worked better, but if really dry, they just crumble....not so good for wiping.
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  19. #19

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    i was in iraq once and had no TP...

    ended up cutting the tops of my socks off. as my squad leader said... "your socks are long as hell, you dont need all that sock! the part you dont need is good for two or three wipes!".

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