Can we honestly talk about this........

[Sourdough]

I don't know where I want to go with this thread, but the post that "Kyratshooter" made in the E&E thread seems painfully true for me. Perhaps I felt that I was kidding or deluding myself. I guess I have to see the truth about myself, and it is embarrassing and painful.
Kyratshooter, thank you for saying what you said, it is spot on true about me.





kyratshooter posted:


"The problem is that many people on fourms are there to feed their own need, to boost their own self image and show their superior knowledge. They can not resist "giving advice" to the poor soul, because that is how they are getting their own ego fix.

Many of us are simply here to waste time, and you can not do that effectively when ignoring trolls."

[kyratshooter]

Self reflection was speaking. I resemble that remark as much as anyone.

Continue.

[hunter63]

Today's trolls might be tomorrows major contributor....maybe not....LOL
But yeah, I probably spend too much time fooling around on forum , but I have expanded my thinking, on many things, I guess an open mind is hard to keep open.

It's real hard not to just dismiss someone with a "Hey Dumas, you are gonna hurt your self"....sometimes.

Good point, thanks Krat.

[natertot]

I'm here to learn and learn alot I have. I still have more than I can imagine to learn. If someone comes along wanting to know something that I do know, I would like to pass is on. Some people come here thinking they can do whatever because they watched a show or saw something on youtube. I like the saying that continues to float around here. "Boots in the field". I just wish some people would have more sense then to just "run off to the woods" or whatever. Pick a task and practice. Master that and try to make it harder, or start learning yet another task.

Personally, if someone comes around wanting help to run off, give them good sound advice. If they are too dumb (not the member) and want to argue or not listen, I say shrug it off and let them figure it out the hard way.

Just my two cents. Can I get a receipt?

[Rick]

Instead of re-inventing fire 100 times or reinventing clean water 100 times, any of which could get you hurt, we can review what 100 other people have done then go out and try the 1, 2 or 3 ways we think seems best. It's no different that reading about something then trying it except here you have multiple authors and in the book only one or two. I'm not sure why giving advice is an ego trip. Especially when someone asks for help or said advice.

[Sourdough]

[QUOTE=Rick;353582

I'm not sure why giving advice is an ego trip.[/QUOTE]


Interesting that you don't see that, or refuse to see that. When "Kyratshooter" held up the mirror, I could clearly see myself, like a bucket of ice cold water in the morning I could see myself.

[Rick]

So if someone asks you for directions and you give them, that's an ego trip?
If someone ask you how to reload or pack meat or set the altimeter on an aircraft? Folks come on here all the time and ask questions. Should everyone just remain silent for fear of looking like they are on an ego trip? I get nothing from answering a question. My ego trip comes when I watch my grand daughter play softball or volleyball or watch my grandson perform at school. My little ones give me enough ego trip I don't have to get it here.

[RangerXanatos]

I have to disagree for the most part. If you ask a question, you're setting someone up to stroke their own ego. If you post a comment that is not a question, your stroking your own ego and having it reinforced by others' comments. Is this really true? No. Everyone needs a pat on the back and it's ok to give it on occasion. It's healthy. If you feel this is you, then that's ok. But not everyone is waitiing and hoping to get their ego stroked. Some want to share their success with others, welcome constructive feedback, or give constructive feedback. I'm sure that close to everyone on this forum first joined to learn about WIlderness Survival. Now as many of us have become friends with each other on the forums, that thought may have shifted to socializing or wasting time. But I, for one, feel it a responsibility to help those that we can, when we can. I will not stop posting questions, comments, or offer advice even if one thinks me to be stroking mine or others' egos.

[Wildthang]

Well all I know, is when you ask a question on this forum, you immediately get a whole lot of matter of fact answers and advice, and a lot of times, the tone is close to being stated in a demeaning way. This is what a new member percieves because that is how it felt when I joined. Fortunately I have stuck around long enough to learn that the members here are just trying to give good advice, and help others even when the truth hurts.
Many of the members here are very knowleagable, and have a huge amount of experience, so once you get to know them, you get used to it. I think that the survivor breed of people on here are a little brash because most people that love the wilderness, nature, and places with few people, are also the type that have little tolerance for other people. Not always but in general!
So in my humble opinion, we should go alittle easier on new members, and poeple that have the dreams of living in the wilderness, and getting away from society. Most of them really dont understand the challenges, so when we lambaste them with our brash opinions, I am afraid thet instead of really listening to us, they will simply join another forum where some people may encourage their foolish dreams, or simply write us off and a bunch of know it all's, and go ahead with their plans.
So where is the majic line, I really dont know. What I do know is that when I first joined, I felt like I was surrounded by the biggest bunch of critics I have ever encountered. Of course I feel differently now, but to new members, we really come off in an extremely brash attitude because we either go totally off topic and thread jack a thread, or we more or less insinuate that they are dummasses, simply by the tone in which we reply.

[Sarge47]

It all has to start somewhere. A Newbie shows up who wants info on the outdoors. Many of us chime in and give it. Sometimes it's not what the Newbie wanted to hear and oft-times they're offended because we didn't help pat themselves on the back. Sometimes a newbie learns, Kamel comes to mind. They understand that they actually need to learn and they soak up as much as they can as quick as they can. Those are the ones I like to help. The "learners." However, if we don't give them a chance we'll never know which group they belong in, and just because they refuse to learn doesn't always make them a troll. Sometimes they're just stubborn and who knows what lays down the road. I don't ban anybody until I see something drastic in their behavior. Also, I don't necessarily think that a member is "stroking his ego" when he gives info when asked. Is "taking pride in your accomplishment" and wanting to share it "Ego Stroking?" And if so...so what? Look at the mind-set of the people who join forums like these. I sort of expect it. What I WOULD like to see, however, is when a Newbie get's their panties in a wad and is vocal about refusing to learn that EVERY member shut down! Not another word! Let that person stew for awhile until they either leave or apologize and start to learn that even social behavior is part of survival. I don't know how that would work but I would like to see it happen and watch the results.

[hunter63]

I guess it something about what is expected.......Lots of folks here from the 'make your own way" way of life, ie "surviviors",..... with Boots in the field, pic's showing it did happen, and caring to share experiances/mistakes, so as some one else doesn't make them.

I would suspect there are a lot more in the world that simply don't have time or truck with foolishness, and don't take part at all.......waste of time.

So mix that with a younger," instant gratification/give them a trophy 'cuse the showed up" way of life...gonna be some "hazing?, making your bones, paying your dues...what ever you want to call it...gonna be some hard feelings.

A lot can be determined by the responses after a few posts.....and the fact remains there are Dumasses out there.
BTW glad you stuck around, shows you have what it takes.

[BENESSE]

I don't know where I want to go with this thread, but the post that "Kyratshooter" made in the E&E thread seems painfully true for me. Perhaps I felt that I was kidding or deluding myself. I guess I have to see the truth about myself, and it is embarrassing and painful.
Kyratshooter, thank you for saying what you said, it is spot on true about me.


kyratshooter posted:


"The problem is that many people on fourms are there to feed their own need, to boost their own self image and show their superior knowledge. They can not resist "giving advice" to the poor soul, because that is how they are getting their own ego fix.

Many of us are simply here to waste time, and you can not do that effectively when ignoring trolls."

SD, would you elaborate on why you feel the comment was spot on about you?
What is your motivation when offering advice?

[Sourdough]

SD, would you elaborate on why you feel the comment was spot on about you?
What is your motivation when offering advice?

I would like to think it is to help, however I have to say in all honesty that ego is a large part.

[Sarge47]

I would like to think it is to help, however I have to say in all honesty that ego is a large part.

I'm curious, SD, why do you think that "ego" is a bad thing? It's just another part of who we are, right?

[BENESSE]

As long as you're speaking from personal experience and knowledge, the reasons why aren't that important. Some of the greatest people had huge egos and apparently that hasn't taken away from their greatness.
Now, when someone has the need to be the bride at every wedding and the corpse at every funeral, one has to wonder how genuine they are.

[jhnnymwr75]

I agree with WildThang about how we (although I like to believe I don't do it often) attack new members, I've walked the miles in there shoes but I've learned greatly from both sides of the fences. I admit I can fill a bit of an ego trip answering a question or advising someone, because I don't have much to that says I've made it my own way so when I step out and show I'm not just average it makes a tad bit of an ego trip. But the greatest things come with time and are not handed to you on a silver platter. I feel almost as if the beginning harshnes was a test to prove a deserve to pick the fruit of knowledge from your tree, also showing that when thingsnget tuff, we don't backdown. I don't remember who (sorry for not) but they said most people pop up every two weeks and don't really do much. I was like that at first, but mow this is am daily thing, I may not post daily, but thats because I'm learning and my two cents my not be worth as much as the next guys, especially with the gold mine of knowledge here. But the whole ego thing, I see as separate from us, because the ego seems to us in a position of superiority over others. When we are selves are equals and are living the same experience and only should be treated asnwe treat others. But I guess in the end all I can say that's my view, take it or not it's still there.

[Wildthang]

Well I think we are all a bunch of know it all old fogies, or is that fogy's, or is that foagies.........................awwwwww never mind! How do you spell that

[kyratshooter]

The person with a real ego problem would be the one that corrected your spelling.

[Rick]

Personally - I don't think I give a new member a hard time. That's my view and maybe it's wrong, I don't know. I will correct a new member if they post something that is incorrect. By the same token, I expect members to correct me when I post something wrong. I think we have an obligation to each other and ourselves to post information that is correct. If someone posts that peeing on an electric fence will cure your migraines and we let it stand then someone, somewhere is going to try it. Why not, nothing else has worked, right? And let's face it, some very dangerous items have been posted particularly when it comes to medical misinformation. I'm not going to offer examples because it would only antagonize the poster and that's not my point.

I am one of the very, very few folks that will bother posting sources. There are a couple of others that do so but that's about it. The rest is based on heresay or opinion and it's guarded like a first son. I don't understand that. The reason I post my sources is so you know I'm not pulling something out of my pocket. That there really is a basis for my position.

If I post something wrong then I expect to be called on it. You're actually doing me and everyone else a favor. I get to learn something, which I love to do, and everyone gets the benefit of correct info. I see that as a win/win.

[Sarge47]

I agree with WildThang about how we (although I like to believe I don't do it often) attack new members....

But do we attack new members? Is a request for further data on a new member an attack? When someone new shows up and gives us a few facts like age, marital status, and general location, for example, we know better on how to respond to their questions. However, when they don't post any info on themselves, and they get bent out of shape over it when we ask, then it would appear that they may be hiding something. A good example of this is that in the past we've had teenagers show up planning on running away from home and trying to get info from this site to help enable them to do so. I don't want to give anybody under the age of 18 info on anything like that, it sets the wrong example. When someone new shows up and gives an honest intro I don't see any negative comments coming from the members, just a warm welcome!