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Thread: How to get Lost! :)

  1. #1
    Off Grid! Darkevs's Avatar
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    Default How to get Lost! :)

    just a touch of humor.

    1) Do not tell anyone where you are going. People love to guess.
    2) Do not consult a map before hand as this will give you a general idea of the lay of the land.
    3)Do no take a bearing with your compass when you leave camp, or your car.
    4) Do not get a reliable compass, a cheap, easily broken, easily lost one is recommended.
    5) When you have decided you are completely lost, shout until you are hoarse. You then will be unable to direct any searchers to you whom you may hear calling in the distance.
    6) Run around like mad in the bush. This uses up all your energy and strength.
    7) Do not build a fire. The smoke will be a dead give away to the search party.
    8) Keep on the move. This will guarantee that you will never be found.


  2. #2
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    Last week in Australia lady was lost 4 days in the bush. They found her naked {alive}, it rained first day, so she took her clothes off, and dumped them .

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    Administrator Rick's Avatar
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    Where are all these lost naked women when I'm in the woods?

    ATTENTION WOMEN HIKERS. If you plan to hike in the woods and are not averse to being naked if you are lost please send me a detailed map of the area in which you plan to hike. I've never been a hero but would like to be one. Thank you.
    Tracks Across the High Plains...Death on the Bombay Line...A Touch of Death and Mayhem...Dead Rock...The Griswald Mine Boys...All On Amazon Books.

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    Off Grid! Darkevs's Avatar
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    hmm, well, to each their own...........

    Me myself, as I am a female hiker would prefer that ALL you men go hiking naked, lost or not.

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    Administrator Rick's Avatar
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    Last one in the woods is a rotten egg!!!!!!!! I'm down to my hong!!!!!!!!!
    Tracks Across the High Plains...Death on the Bombay Line...A Touch of Death and Mayhem...Dead Rock...The Griswald Mine Boys...All On Amazon Books.

  6. #6
    Off Grid! Darkevs's Avatar
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    men will be men......even in the woods.

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    Super Moderator crashdive123's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Rick View Post
    Where are all these lost naked women when I'm in the woods?

    ATTENTION WOMEN HIKERS. If you plan to hike in the woods and are not averse to being naked if you are lost please send me a detailed map of the area in which you plan to hike. I've never been a hero but would like to be one. Thank you.
    Her itinerary is on the way.

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    Can't Means Won't

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    Administrator Rick's Avatar
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    I will have you know that I always lift the limb before I pee and put it back down afterwards. My wife has beat me black and blue a few times so now I remember. Maybe it's out of self preservation but I still remember. Women just don't like you leavin' the limb up for some reason.
    Tracks Across the High Plains...Death on the Bombay Line...A Touch of Death and Mayhem...Dead Rock...The Griswald Mine Boys...All On Amazon Books.

  9. #9
    Administrator Rick's Avatar
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    Well, Crash, it's hard to argue with a good woman like that. Warm in the winter, shade in the summer.
    Tracks Across the High Plains...Death on the Bombay Line...A Touch of Death and Mayhem...Dead Rock...The Griswald Mine Boys...All On Amazon Books.

  10. #10
    Super Moderator crashdive123's Avatar
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    and with a small still to convert sweat to fresh water.......
    Can't Means Won't

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  11. #11
    Off Grid! Darkevs's Avatar
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    watch it.........that is MY picture you are scoffing at.

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    Senior Member hunter63's Avatar
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    Good news is she could maybe last a long time.....and not go very far in the first place......just saying.
    Geezer Squad....Charter Member #1
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    First 50 years...worried about the small stuff...second 50 years....Not so much
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  13. #13
    Administrator Rick's Avatar
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    She'd never leave you (not like she could) but even if she did what have you lost? See? I look at the upside in women. You guys are too worried about superficial stuff.
    Tracks Across the High Plains...Death on the Bombay Line...A Touch of Death and Mayhem...Dead Rock...The Griswald Mine Boys...All On Amazon Books.

  14. #14
    Off Grid! Darkevs's Avatar
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    Hey boys........................Get Lost!

    heehee

  15. #15
    Administrator Rick's Avatar
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    That crossed the line. I'm not getting lost with her. I'm not draggin' her back. Even my backpack isn't that big.
    Tracks Across the High Plains...Death on the Bombay Line...A Touch of Death and Mayhem...Dead Rock...The Griswald Mine Boys...All On Amazon Books.

  16. #16
    Off Grid! Darkevs's Avatar
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    no problem..I WILL survive!!!!

    ok, you guys are cracking me up now................not good to get my chubbiness bouncing around, someone or something could get hurt.

  17. #17
    Senior Member Thaddius Bickerton's Avatar
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    Lot of food storage going on there. and definitely beat anorexia.
    Thaddius Bickerton

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  18. #18
    Off Grid! Darkevs's Avatar
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    true.

    I think I could probable survive if I missed a few meals myself.

    Might have to go get lost for a week. A new weight loss plan......hmmmmmmmmmmmmm, I wonder....................

  19. #19
    Administrator Rick's Avatar
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    I've got a great weight loss plan. I just keep trimming the sides off my mirror. Right now I'm 8 inches wide!
    Tracks Across the High Plains...Death on the Bombay Line...A Touch of Death and Mayhem...Dead Rock...The Griswald Mine Boys...All On Amazon Books.

  20. #20
    Senior Member hunter63's Avatar
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    OK, get this....Biggest Looser/Survivor....Check your local listing, Newest hit of the season.
    Geezer Squad....Charter Member #1
    Evoking the 50 year old rule...
    First 50 years...worried about the small stuff...second 50 years....Not so much
    Member Wahoo Killer knives club....#27

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