Is this really how we should be raising our kids?

[ryaninmichigan]

Got a letter from the school yesterday about some anti bullying thing they are doing. This topic really gets under my skin. Do we really need all of this? Do we need anti bulling legislation? I talked with my boy about it, he is only 6 so I don't think bullies have developed yet. But anyway we talked about my expectation of him to stand up for himself and others if they are being bullied, he told me the school told them not to fight back it will only make it worse. WTF? Are we raising a generation of cowards? What ever happened to teaching your kid to stick up for themselves? I told my son the same thing my dad told me. If you come how and I find out you did not fight back there will be hell to pay. I don't care what the school told you if someone is picking on you and you need to fight, you fight just like I have been teaching you.

[dscrick]

Progressive Liberalism is rampant in the world of Academia. You've heard the mantra; "Guns are evil, we must be tolerant of everything, if a child is a bully it's because of self esteem issues, everybody gets a trophy whether they win or not". Nothing new. Yes it is a shame, yes we are raising generations of sissies. I believe you are doing the right thing in teaching your son (my opinion), but be very careful. The NEA indoctrinated staff at his school will have him suspended or expelled if he fights back. Just be prepared for it.

[BENESSE]

There are many types of bullying, the least of it being physical. Read up on it and make sure your kid is equipped to handle it all, not just hit back when hit.

[Wildthang]

Stick to your guns Benesse! The schools are more worried about being liable when a kid gets in a fight on thier property, and possibly getting hurt, than teaching the kids what's right. The judicial system has made everybody afraid to just do what's right, and unfortunaltely as a result, they a sissifying our children.
America didn't become the greatest country in the world by laying down and giving in, but I'm afraid it is turning the other way faster than we can measure. If your kid gets kicked out of school for defending himself, just let him know that he did what was right, and you are proud of him. He will miss 3 days, and when he goes back, the bully's will watch what they say to him.
I actually taught my kid how to fight and he used it more than once. I also taught him to not pick fights, or bully other children, but to never back down when he was right, and was being billied for no reason.

[ryaninmichigan]

I won't deny bullies are a problem, but I think we are working on this from the wrong side. We don't need more rules. We need to raise kids with self respect and respect to others. My kid does not pick on kids, he I will not allow him to not stand up when he needs to. He will get a trip to the movies and happy meal.

[jake abraham]

I taught my kids to stand up for themselves I got to spend quite a bit of time in the office ,but I told my kids that they were right, the one time that he was wrong he got in trouble

[BENESSE]

Again, y'all need to understand there's different kind of bullying out there, most likely nonexistent when you were in school. Cyber bullying, for example. It's insidious, toxic and much more prevalent these days. What are you gonna tell your kid he/she do if that ever happen to them...go initiate a fight with the cyber bullies?
Fighting is easy. The other stuff takes an entirely different set of coping skills (mental & psychological) which actually have to be taught, just like any other survival skills.

[COWBOYSURVIVAL]

I have something to say but don't want to rob the thread, but yeah teach 'em to stick up for themselves! See story 4....

http://www.wilderness-survival.net/f...raising+cowboy

[Wildthang]

Well for cyber bullying, you either stay away from the media you are being bullied on, or flame them like no tomorrow. I wouldn't know any other way to cope with that!

[TresMon]

Again, y'all need to understand there's different kind of bullying out there, most likely nonexistent when you were in school. Cyber bullying, for example. It's insidious, toxic and much more prevalent these days. What are you gonna tell your kid he/she do if that ever happen to them...go initiate a fight with the cyber bullies?
Fighting is easy. The other stuff takes an entirely different set of coping skills (mental & psychological) which actually have to be taught, just like any other survival skills.

Please expound for the good/knowledge/edu-muh-cation of the group.

Thanks B.

[BENESSE]

This explains it best:

http://www.stopcyberbullying.org/wha...g_exactly.html

Just to add from the site:

"Experts who understand schoolyard bullying often misunderstand cyberbullying, thinking it is just another method of bullying. But the motives and the nature of cybercommunications, as well as the demographic and profile of a cyberbully differ from their offline counterpart."

If you have kids, talk to them about it and let them know that you know.

[TresMon]

Hmm. Interesting. Reading your link makes me 1. feel old & outdated 2. better equipped to protect young'uns now uh'days.

Thanks B.


Edit:
come to think of it- it makes sense that now days vicious/ slanderous rumors etc can spread faster across 'net linked media than it can even word of mouth/ down school hall ways with ALL the kids having internet and the majority having smart phones.

[ryaninmichigan]

I understand the different ways kids can be pushed around these days. It has to do with teaching pride. Someone writing "Ryan sucks d**ks" on my locker my freshman year is the same as Facebook. I settled it with my hands and it never happend again. Where I am from boys settled things with their hands. Kids don't
Fight anymore. That's how's schools get shot up. You spend your whole childhood watching people break
Necks on tv and it looks so easy and fatal. The time comes to fight and they are scared. I grew up fighting my dad had boxing gloves on me since I could walk. I fought golden gloves for close to 1o years. I knew it did not mean death if someone punched me in the face. If a kids writes some smack on Facebook why not go to school and call him out? Instead the school says don't cause it will only get worse. I am not raising a bleeding heart . I come from a long line of Vikings backing down is not an option. Wrong right or indifferent when push comes to shove men in my family will fight wether it is body or name it's all the same.

[woodsman86]

I can remember only being suspended about a half day at a time whenever I was in a fight. I never picked a fight, but would handle things when needed. My Dad would be standing in the principal's office the next morning and for some reason I was back in class the same day. We were always told to come out on top and don't let anybody push you around. After awhile, the bully type just left me alone because they knew I would lay into given the right situation and be back in school the next day while they were at home dealing with the parents. I think it was an important lesson that carried over with me to the military. Of course now, the Army has a pacification movement that is growing just like the schools. It is just the way of the future, those of us raising tough kids will still come out on top. Kids that have never had to overcome adversity will crack under the slightest pressure in the real world. I see it happen all the time with Soldiers.

[BENESSE]

It's not as simple as you think, ryaninmichigan.
Why don't you read this and think about the complexity and insidiousness of what's being done.
And then come back and tell me who you gonna send your kid to beat up.

http://www.stopcyberbullying.org/how..._by_proxy.html

[randyt]

I agree with Ryan to a degree but things are different these days. I've seen kids send texts with other kids phones unbeknownst to the owner of the phone. There's been private text's, pictures and such forwarded to a zillion other students.

[JPGreco]

B is right, there is something really wrong with people today. Not just kids, but people in general. Because of that, our kids pay the price. I'm far from a bleeding heart liberal and would hope my future kids whoop *** on these bullies, but its not the same. They basically assume your identity online and ruin your identity. They can turn your friends and parents on you. If the kids parents aren't doing their job and turn on their kid, where does the kid have to turn? They are left alone to deal with something I think most people would struggle to deal with as adults.

[natertot]

It's not as simple as you think, ryaninmichigan.
Why don't you read this and think about the complexity and insidiousness of what's being done.
And then come back and tell me who you gonna send your kid to beat up.

http://www.stopcyberbullying.org/how..._by_proxy.html

That is why one should monitor computer usage. If someone really wants to be a turd on "facebook" you hit the "unfriend" button and then you block them. I think kids spend too much time on the "tech" stuff these days instead of having actual coversations. I went back to Iowa last summer (where I grew up) and my 17yo brother is texting his 16yo girlfriend......They were both in the same room!!!!! What ever happened to the old form communcation?

I pretty much agree with everything else said. They hit first, they get hit last. Another issue that arises is when a girl hits a boy. For some reason, alot of people think "you can't hit a girl! That just isn't right!" I say if a girl is man enough to hit, they are man enough to be hit.

DO NOT MISSUNDERSTAND THAT SENTANCE. I do NOT promote men hitting women, I DO promote men defending themselves from assailants of the opposite sex.

[RandyRhoads]

Another issue that arises is when a girl hits a boy. For some reason, alot of people think "you can't hit a girl! That just isn't right!" I say if a girl is man enough to hit, they are man enough to be hit.

DO NOT MISSUNDERSTAND THAT SENTANCE. I do NOT promote men hitting women, I DO promote men defending themselves from assailants of the opposite sex.

Well said. Equal or lesser force.

[southard]

Sorry but the big call for stopping cyberbullying is being pushed too far the numbers of kids killing themselves are up for two reasons 1) coping mechanisms and social skills are being neglected by parents who are more than happy to give in to kids and be friends and not parents 2) population growth, kids committed suicide while I was growing up there were just less kids. Oh and the inherit cowardly anonymity and confidence gained from the net. Parents send children to school to learn and believe it stops there, they give kids whatever they want so they'll shut up or wont be hip. Kids have always felt despair, lonliness, and disappointment. Thats growing up dealing with adversity and strife. Not all the baby turtles make it to the sea, no matter how hard we try, how many laws are legislated, how much we coddle. Children will still be cruel, cutthroat little animals and find ways to hurt eachother. It still happens as adults office politics, politcs, social circles, intimate relationships you name it. Childhood trains us for it and 99% of the time is successful. Now don't misunderstand me, I believe Life is a fragile thing and should not be taken lightly. There are a good many people who were stopped from committing suicide or had a failed attempt that are strong productive members of society. We shouldn't stop trying to help these these lost souls but we also can't go about dictating emotion and legislating acceptance. Diversity, turmoil, and emotional strife are base human experience and to rid the world of them would be a tragedy in and of itself. Without those three thing we would be bereft of a huge amount of culture. Music that touches the soul, Art that moves the spirit, Poetry and writing that opens worlds. The biggest change that needs to come about is the Interest and participation we take in our children's lives and stop letting them raise themselves or being raised by their peers and electronics.