It was on this hos.......orsp.......asp........aus........very day in the year of our lord 2009 that the(distinctly) irregular F.A.R.T came into being. The idea of a (distinctly) irregular force was the brainchild of Pal334(the one who lost the boat). The original name was the R.R.V.F(Rapid Response Volunteer Force).The directive of RRVF was to be a force for good on WSF, helping members in times of crisis and distress. Indeed, I myself was to be the first recipient of help to swell the ranks in WRW1 (Winnies Rodent War 1).
It soon became apparent that the calibre of recruits was such that a name change was required. It was then that Crashdive123 interceded with a new name and a new ethos and F.A.R.T(Fairly Agile Response Team) was born. It has taken many hours of napping with waking moments for Bacon Sammich's, Danish(the Pastry, not the people), Coffee and Beer, loss of pencils, typewriters and a Boat(the one that Pal lost) to turn a bunch of manly men into the indecisive, ineffective, shabby rabble they are today.
Since the(decidedly) irregular team has been together, WSF has seen numerous occasions where the talents of the F.A.R.T have never been put to good use, thus proving they are ready and able to add their (considerable) weight and inactivity to any and all dilemmas you don't want resolved.
Recently, Recruit Individual People Apprentices or R.I.P.A.F.A.R.Ts are being enlisted and some are in Boot Camp. Under the watchful eyes of the (distinctly) irregular F.A.R.Ts, the R.I.P.A.F.A.R.Ts are put through their paces. Training is tough, very few manly men can manage the high standards of sloth and half baked indecisiveness required. The DOR rate is so high, the Bell has lost it's Clapper. It's whereabouts is still unknown, but 2Dumb was seen walking funny as he exited the Training compound recently.
It has also been floated(not the boat that Pal lost, that's lost.) that there may be another more elusive and elite branch of F.A.R.T. The Limited Intelligence Trained Espionage Agency, or L.I.T.E.A.F.A.R.T. As far as I am aware this is the.........was, the top secret branch of F.A.R.T I can only assume it has to do with high level protection detail and surveillance (Bacon and Danish(the pastry not the people) don't look after themselves). Maybe them Homeland Security fellow's have recruited them for furtive........covert detail, apparently Abdullah has been under some strain since negotiating funding for the F.A.R.Ts. The mention of a lost boat, replacements and docking problems may have been a contributory factor.
And there you have it, a potted history of our fearless protection force.
So if you're in trouble, when no-one else can help. And you can wake them, don't bother the F.A.R.T!
Happy birthday Y'all!
Fondest Love
I.F.A.R.T.E.D(Imaginative Fairly Agile Response Team Exploits Diarist)
In the true spirit of F.A.R.T philosophy, I.F.A.R.T.E.D takes no responsibility whatsoever for the accuracy of the above archive.
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