Homeland Security Funding Recieved

**Rick** · 11-11-2011, 05:36 PM

We finished nailin' the dock back together. It don't look quite like it did but it's close enough for the women we date. We had some wood left over so we hammered up a couple of picnic table.

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It was a lot of work but we finally got them new Homeland Security boats put in the dock pointin' the right way.

Here's a pic of us just finishing up.

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Pal will be all right. Turned out it was just gas. The bad news is the emergency room had to be evacuated for a couple of hours so they could air it out. But alls right in the world now.

Here's a picture of the new boats tied to the dock.

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Oops. Well that's a wrong picture. Crash was supposed to be takin' pics of the boats. Hey, Crash!!!!

**crashdive123** · 11-11-2011, 07:05 PM

Ooops. I thought you said butts, not boats.

**Rick** · 11-11-2011, 07:25 PM

That might explain why the dock looks like it does and how come just about everyone had a smashed thumb from hittin' it with the hammer. I think the mule is the only one that came through unscathed. In his defense he can sure strike a tight chalk line.

**Pal334** · 11-11-2011, 08:33 PM

I told all ya'all that beer and boiled eggs don't go together well!!!!!

**Rick** · 11-11-2011, 08:49 PM

Crash kept sayin' you need to blow the ballast but dang I didn't know what he was talkin' about either. He kept going on and on about Boyles Law and gas under a constant pressure blah, blah, blah. I just figured the sun was gettin' to him again. Keep a close eye on him though. He was talkin' about addin' a trim tank to you. I don't know what that was all about either.

**crashdive123** · 11-11-2011, 08:54 PM

Just wait till I get it outfitted with high pressure air, scrubbers and burners.

**Rick** · 11-11-2011, 08:57 PM

Fortunately, I snapped a picture of them. That tall metal stuff has got to be cut off. A dang seagull was sittin' on it and nearly pooped on me. The mule slipped in it and knocked 2Dumb down. Poor 2Dumb thought the mule kicked him and they commenced to roll around on the deck in headlocks. I like to never got 'em apart.

Everybody is fishing in this pic. Except the mule. He's at the helm in the boat on the left. If you look real close you can't see him.

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**rebel** · 11-11-2011, 09:08 PM

As you may well know, things aren't always what they seem to be. Check this out...http://www.fastcompany.com/1742584/f...k-jonathan-out

**Rick** · 11-11-2011, 10:26 PM

Unless they've invented bionic bird poop, our was the real deal.

**Rick** · 12-12-2011, 07:13 PM

I just got off the phone with Mohamed. That is one nice fellah and he certainly has taken us under his wing. He told me he has several used military motorcycles and wanted to know if we wanted them. Of course, I said yes knowing the chicks love motorcycles and knowing that we need all the help we can get in that department.

He suggested that we could use them in parades and maybe even have a motorcycle unit like those Shriner fellahs. He faxed over a pic of the bikes and a pic of an outfit he has sent some to.

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I told him I was for sure the guys would opt for a team like that second group. He just laughed. I was serious, though.

**2dumb2kwit** · 12-14-2011, 06:02 PM

Oh, oh, oh....sign me up, for motorcycle duty!
(I think I can remember how to ride.)LOL

oldschool.jpg

**Rick** · 12-14-2011, 11:55 PM

Hey, Muhamed called again this afternoon and wanted to know if we'd like to have a couple of drones. He said as far as he knew they were in tip top shape and had been used as recently as last week. He said we'd have to fetch 'em. One is some place called Iran and the other is in Seychelles. I'm not sure but I think both of them places is in Iowa. We got that big ole all metal truck he gave us so all we need is a trailer to put 'em on. 2Dumbs mule ain't much of a pilot be he's got more experience that any of the rest of us. Maybe we could just have him fly 'em home for us. He even went out and bought a helmet and flight suit. Looks pretty spiffy if you ask me.

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**Winnie** · 12-15-2011, 05:25 AM

Those drones in Iowa have been keeping a pretty close eye on the F.A.R.Ts and have made several lengthy reports. I personally recieved one not so long ago, but have barely managed to make it past the introduction. These Drones really know how to make detailed reports! You're some lucky F.A.R.Ts to get them!

**intothenew** · 12-15-2011, 07:34 AM

Originally Posted by Rick

Everybody is fishing in this pic.

I have two questions:

1. Youins sure aint trout fishin. What lb test on the line? I wanna make sure I'm prepared.

2. I think you best reconsider the tall thingy, what about BOB? Everybody around here talks about him. I've only seen a pic of him and understand he likes heights.

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**Rick** · 12-15-2011, 06:17 PM

Nope. Bob is what you do in the ocean. It's not a person. And we've had a morbid fear of heights every since 2D's mule tried to join us in the deer stand. The sight of it raining old men is not a pretty picture and it did leave marks. So the tall thingie has got to go. Your question vis a vie (I've been wanting to use that for some time now) the weight of the fishing line. It really doesn't matter. Anything you have laying around will work. Shoot, even manilla rope will be fine. We generally tie a spark plug on the end and fish that way.

**Pal334** · 12-23-2011, 08:20 AM

Since I think I have detected a bit of doubt about the physical abilities (or lack there of) of the F.A.R.T. , I thought I would share a video of a recent Physical Training exercise. I will not identify the members in the video.

http://www.wimp.com/grandpashuffling/

**Rick** · 12-23-2011, 11:42 AM

You have to suck in a lot of air to be able to do that. Naturally, that air has to come out someplace.

**Rick** · 12-24-2011, 09:02 AM

I thought it might be nice this holiday season to share some pictures of past Christmases the F.A.R.T.s have shared. Truly heart warming memories.

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The year we tried to play soccer. Off the list of future events.

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The year we celebrated Christmas in Chinatown. I think this is the only picture from that event we can post.

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One year the local mall called and wanted one of us to play Santa. Somehow, communications got SNAFU'd and all of us showed up dressed as Santa. Little kids were freaking out all over the place, security got called and we made a hasty retreat. The mall has never asked again. Well, moving right along....

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The year we went to the football game. On the list for future events.

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It was all a big misunderstanding and everyone had a good laugh afterwards.

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The year we tried surfing. Uh, no. Off the list.

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The year we went deer hunting.

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The year we went to Vegas. What happens in Vegas...you know.

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2Dumb is such a practical joker. He had us all laughing that year.

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But we always wind up having a great time.

Merry Christmas from the F.A.R.T.s!